Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Spilledink - Blog Posts
I miss you You miss me Yet we keep missing each other
No matter how hard I try Or the amount of willpower I manage to summon You will always be my weakness
It’s just nice to know once in a while you’re weak for me, too
“If you believe very strongly in something, stand up and fight for it.”
— Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
About Me: -
HI ! I'm Astrum, 41 Aries, and I go by he/him pronouns. I like all things art/culture: music, film, painting, poetry, fashion, literature, so feel free to ask about anything of the sorts, I'd love the chat!! I listen to all kinds of music mostly jazz, folk, classic rock, or anything pre-2010s so feel free to ask about anything like that i LOVE the beatless, like seriously it's insane! I enjoy writing letters, notes, poems, as I believe everything is poetry if it comes from the soul I love hiking/camping, long drives, Parties, and other outdoor activities as well I enjoy reading fantasy and romantic fantasy books. My favorite book that I've read recently was The Cruel Prince by Holly Black. My favorite trope is enemies to lovers (I like the idea of someone seeing all my flaws first and still managing to fall in love with me. I also just love the banter between the enemies). My favorite colors are wight, wine red, blue, black, olive, I like all types of wines. I want friends, you are my lifeline, and I do have a lot of things that I enjoy.
“come closer, but don’t flinch”
> come closer, but don’t flinch when you see the places I’ve bled quietly. I am not soft in the way you expect — I am soft like wildfire, like midnight rain that forgets to be gentle. I love like this: with cracked palms, shaking breath, and a heart too heavy to float but too stubborn to drown. if you want me, know this: I won’t promise easy, but I will promise real. raw fingertips. unhidden scars. midnight confessions no one else has ever touched. come closer. and if you stay— I’ll hand you everything I’ve ever buried under my ribs.
I don’t want a home.
I want a heartbeat
that beats louder when it feels me near.
By yours Astrum
It was kind of a dick move to create animals that require air, then confine them to the freaking ocean
“I write slowly… with depth…”
Whispers Between Pages By Astrum
I have always trusted the quiet of untold stories, the soft ache that lingers between what is written and what is merely felt.
I do not chase endings — I unfold them, slowly, like paper worn thin by longing and hands that know the weight of memory.
Somewhere between ink and skin, I found my truest voice — not to speak louder, but to listen deeper to the words that choose to find me first.
mood
"i’d undress your mind first"
by Astrum.
i wouldn’t rush you.
i’d start slow —
trace the curve of your thoughts
long before i ever touched your skin.
i’d ask how you sleep when it rains,
what keeps you awake when it’s silent,
and where you ache when no one’s looking.
i’d want to know
the shape of your sigh,
the weight of your dreams,
the taste of your laugh
in the dark.
when you’d trust me enough,
i’d kiss your scars with my words,
bite your insecurities softly
between conversations,
and hold your secrets
like they were silk on my tongue.
and maybe,
if your eyes begged for it,
i’d undress you slow too.
but i promise —
your mind would be bare
long before your body ever was.
The Quiet Things We Never Say
In the hush between two heartbeats,
there lives a truth we all forget —
that love is not the grand parade,
but the quiet steps we never regret.
It’s in the hand that brushes yours
without needing a word or a name,
it’s in the eyes that stay awhile
when the world forgets your flame.
It’s not the fireworks or flawless lines,
nor promises wrapped in gold —
it’s the way we show up, soft and real,
when life turns silent, dark, and cold.
So if you’re reading this, just know:
You matter, wildly, more than you see.
You are the gentle thing in someone’s sky,
the reason their soul feels free.
Breathe. Be. Stay.
You are already the poem today.
i raise it, hold it in front of me. show you, through someone else, a peek inside myself. a keen eye can see through it—but cutting words glance off at an angle. it's not me, just a reflection. and isn't that the point? vulnerability, by proxy. i trust you not to hurt me as far as i can reach into the mirror.
To be scared is a under statement,
That fear no longer dwindles in my bones ,
Tumblr has taught me ,
Friends are just ghosts , or empty egg shells.
Strangers have more empathy then the man next door,
I was just a fool ,
all along , playing to the devils own dirty tune .
Emotions that ran high ,
Words that didn’t make much sense ,
To a soul opened my eyes
By just a few tiny words.
I realise now ,
it is not, who is here to pick up the phone
It’s the ones who are in the dark
But yet take the time to pass your name in there own daily thoughts.
Yet I’ve done nothing for them, yet there speak of me so kindly.
In this world that’s distracted by so much colour,
Them bright doors don’t hold the key to this earths heavens,
It is the doors that are hid in the darkest shadows,
waiting for someone to find them, to help them flourish.
So Don’t go looking for the brightest light ,
Search for the darkest gate
that’s where we will find all things beautiful in
such a dark cold world,
that’s flourished with colour To distract us ,
from the true treasures of this world .
@trueemotions91
@tammyfeabakker
If you ever feel like this my inbox is forever open ! ❤️
A gun
A quick escape
To exit this thing called life
My Brain can’t take no more
Every day I force a smile
For what?
For fuck all
My head can’t think no more
I don’t want be on this place called earth
I want be dug deep in the ground
Out of this crazy life
Where there is no escape
From my self .
It’s a mess.
I give up fighting the urge everyday
To just end this shit.
For real.
If I had trigger
I wouldn’t hestatie
To know it would be over within a blink
It’s the perfect escape .
It’s lucky I don’t owe one
Or I would be in a place I call home .
Heaven .
Away from this nightmare
I can’t escape.
Please lord give me strength not
To put a end to my own light.
I don’t know why you placed me upon this life
And have me air to breathe
Every night
I ask why ?
What is my purpose to you under this dark light
Maybe the easy way out
People will say
But there don’t know the state of my mind .
It’s hard to cooperate
When all I see around me is snakes
I’m done with life .
Even the ones who claim to love me
Can’t see what is doing to the insides of me.
Life is a joke
No one gives a flying fuck
That my brain is turning into sticky glue
With words I can’t relate to .
Just tired of the pain my mind plays daily
I would rather live in a zoo
Then play this game of 2.
Hate is a strong word
But belive me when I say I hate this earth.
It’s full of devils
Ain’t no angels here
Just a fuckin game of tug .
I ain’t got the strentgh to pull
The fucker to my side no more.
Years of fighting with my own
To now just want be put in a hole.
I’ve learnt to accept it’s the only place
Im going be at rest
With my crazy soul.
I’m close to admit
The fucker has won .
@trueemotions91
The rush
From the blood.
The crimson rose
Against my pale white skin.
The Taste of evil and heaven I swear
it’s what feeds my darkest sins.
The pain I don’t feel
When the blade runs bare across my soul.
It’s not for me , I promise you that,
It’s for them who keep turning their back.
I love the way the blood trickles
Makes me realise , I’m here alive,
To breathe another day
Even if hell is on my side.
It’s twisted I know
To crave the rush.
They don’t care
As there push the demon
To the core
To blind to see the damage they truly cause.
Mine is temporary
A release from the demon
Within me .
Please don’t judge
When you see my scars
It’s proof to me I’ve lived
Through the pain
But I’m still here on the other side,
With nothing but love to give
To those who caused, the blade to sink in.
@trueemotions91
I don’t want to see
What is hidden beaneath the leaves
I’m scared it will shake my knees
Something I ain’t ready to please
I beg you
Don’t shake me to hard
I fall to fast
My soul won’t last
If you make me shiver
My heart will quiver
I don’t know when to stop
That’s when I lose the plot
I’m sorry
I can’t stumble
Upon these troubles
I want you to be happy
And
To show you inside
Would make us both the perfect disaster .
@trueemotions91
A rose is red as the blood
That trickles when you prick
Your self with her thorns ,
The moon is as bright as the path
Lit , only enough for you to see the scary stuff,
The sun only shines, when it’s enemy’s are asleep,
Like the eagle in the sky
Waiting for its next victim who can’t escape,
The frog will watch each tiny slug
Against the river bugs,
While the spider etches her sketches
Against the moon lit sky,
The water speckles her nightmare
As it lights up her silver lined lie ,
The flys retreat from her secret trap
While her baby’s wait for it to fall
In their lap,
And all is lost in a blink of the eye .
@trueemotions91
Not wrote by me - but I had to share as it is amazing , ❤️. So all enjoy x
Her eyes remind me the first sea that I saw,
The kind of sea you only see in a draw.
When I’m looking at them I am getting out my mind,
The most beautiful thing a man could even find.
She took possession of my mind, of my dreams, of my soul.
When she is not there, I am feeling like if I was stuck in a hole.
Her presence is giving me the faith like if she was giving me a rope,
To get me out of that well and offer me the hope,
To see her one day having a rest in my arms,
While she doesn’t realize how effective are her charms.
I could spend my whole days looking at her sleeping face,
As long as she is there, I will never leave this place.
I was lost
In a plot
Of my own fucked up emotions
No one to help me
No one ever understood
I was called a crazy bitch
Forced in a ditch
To dig myself out of
While the soil crumbled under each finger tip
Still they called me a crazy bitch
Coz I was fighting this shit
All just watched and laughed
Like a bunch of crazed clowns
To my head shut them out
I cried and screamed
Believe me I fucking did
My eyes have never cried
As the tears ain’t my sin
It’s just the opening
Of this tin I’m trapped in
The cuts were a release
Each time I dug my nails deep in
Was a understanding of the place I was laying
Each fall
I pulled harder
No matter how much they call me a crazy bitch
I am getting out of this ditch
They forced me in .
@trueemotions91
A man I hear them call
Is a danger to all?
Do you honestly believe that story
If I repeat them words quietly ,
If your going paint a ugly picture
Of my son, brother , father
Before there even have a chance to alter
Your perspective of all men
Then I would not bother ,
To waste your air on this planet earth
That’s ludicrous , to human nature
Can you really hear yourself loud and clear?
So your afraid of your father ?
Please tell me so,
How on earth can we scoop so low,
Men are humans , I swear to your
Have two eyes and usually bigger shoes ,
But all ain’t to fear,
I know the hands that raised me were full of care & order
Showed me love & courage ,
But to fear my son , is to loud and clear
When you all cheer , the words I hear ,
A woman I know who abused her own
but yet I don’t hear you call her mistakes
To the moon,
Would you to brush me with the same words ,
Because another mother put upon this earth,
It makes no sense , it’s all a laugh,
I stand with a woman , power and all,
But to call every man a danger is a different law,
Just think of the words before you make your own
father sore ,
Imagine his face when he sees you chore the words
That - all men must fall .
@trueemotions91
Blurred between love and hate
How do I decide my fate ,
When my heart tells me to wait
But my mind tells me to do a double take ,
Life isn’t ment to be a surf
But why was we brought to earth
With this thing called worth,
Emotions are tough
When other people are rough,
Just another torch
To light up the path
For another soul to walk
While we wait in the back fall ,
Why did the cells give me a heart
To just keep being scarred ,
It don’t know when to stop
And that will be my flop,
On this place we call earth
Burnt from inside , out
For something we call love.
@trueemotions91
Heart broken
My life’s a mess
I don’t know where is my place of rest
Just need a escape from this place
Feels like hell ,
I’d rather skate,
My way up to heavens gate ,
Then live this joke of a life
Am I that horrible
I attract selfish people
Does my mind really play me from behide
I don’t undertstand
I’m just confused
To what to do
Slowly but surely I’m breaking
In two
And I’m truly losing my self
To this sticky game of glue
I tell everyone to smile
But can’t force it upon my own frown
Why is life so hard
Why is it the ones we love
The ones who hurt us the most
If that’s the case I would rather die
I give up on life
Always doing my best
Breaking my insides for all the rest
My mind screams for me to give it a break
But my heart won’t let me escape
I’m slowly starting to lose all hope
Of what I call a human joke .
@trueemotions91
Hey beautiful people ! Hope Everyone’s well! I need some words or ideas to get my brain ticking to write some poetry! Please help ME 😝! My heads a little dry , so feeling frustrated ! Xxxxx
Always told
I won’t make any gold
With my long life goals,
But they underestimated me
As my goals only consist
Of happy and health,
Not having my pockets lined of coins
I’d rather have a heart of joy,
A pocket full of sweet memories
For the world to see, Is enough for me ,
Riches are nothing
If my eyes are cold
Blinded by the pound sign
can’t see my path is clearly written for me ,
I don’t need brands attached to me
I’m a brand of my own
no one can copy track me
Even when I’m buried in the ground
You still couldn’t even come close
To the place I call home
My memories would make you realise
What a lie yours is.
@trueemotions91
A woman ,
Is her name
A mother to all,
From the ground she was born
She always stood tall ,
She braces the craziest storm
Because that’s her home,
She carries life to the full
So we can be reborn ,
She gives her body to another
With out a thought for the other ,
She knows power, love & hate
But yet you won’t see her shake ,
She has to be powerful
To raise her next generation ,
To Make sure there matter
In a world with a lot of chatter ,
She has the power to give and take
But she always chooses life
Over any other path
That may call her ,
Because that’s the gate
To her most beautiful
Creations in life,
Always In sight , but guarded
By love , because that’s what mothers do
On this crazy path called life .
@trueemotions91