Actually Schizophrenic - Blog Posts

schizophrenia is not just experiencing positive symptoms (hallucinations and delusions). a lot of schizophrenics are neurodivergent in other ways. this focus on the positive symptoms is a villainious way to gatekeep us from neurodivergent spaces because our positive symptoms are typically portrayed as "scary".

our negative symptoms (flat effect, being withdrawn, avolition and anhedonia) are skewed to portray us as "evil" because we're not "emotive" or "caring" enough. schizospec disorders make everyday activities so hard. basic hygiene isn't a habit, we have little to no motivation to do basic things, the lack of happiness and pleasure can turn into severe depression for some of us and that's why depressive and bipolar schizoaffectives exist. people don't grasp the fact that schizophrenia is a disability.

i've personally experienced a lot of cruelty from other neurodivergent people because there is little to no education on schizospec disorders even within neurodivergent spaces. we're seen as inherently morally reprehensible for our disorder and people are so casually ableist to us. i'm not able to speak up for myself in these spaces because i feel like there is no where else i can go. neurotypicals are cruel to schizophrenics but so are other neurodivergent people. people need to have more care and love for schizophrenics.

yes that includes schizophrenics with little to no empathy, schizophrenics of color, trans schizophrenics, gay schizophrenics, schizophrenic systems, autistic schizophrenics, schizophrenics with adhd, fat schizophrenics, poor schizophrenics, homeless schizophrenics, schizophrenic sex workers, schizophrenics who've experienced abuse, schizophrenics with ocd, schizophrenics with ptsd/cptsd, schizophrenic children and teens, elderly schizophrenics, schizophrenics who are also physically disabled, all schizophrenics.

all schizophrenics deserve love.

Hi there ! You can call me Jinx (or Allister but I rather have Jinx if we don't know each others)

I'm kinda a lurker around here but I've decided to try this site and maybe have some friends that would be cool !

I'm currently 22 yo, I'm a transgender man and ace sex repulsed and I'm in the middle of a process for a diagnosis of schizophrenia (I've been on meds for rougly a year tho) I also have a ADHD diagnosis !

My current hyperfixation is Arcane (currently watching with my partner the season 1) and I love synthv, my favourite book is 'Piranesi' from Susanna Clark and hm I guess I like music of all sort ?

I don't know much about dni list but I'll try, dni if you're :

-transmed, terf, or any lgbt-phobic

-ableist of any sort

-pedophile (or Map), zoophile, or anyone sexualising age regression thingie

-A maga person, republican or any facists guys

-You deny genocide

-If you uses slurs (even to reclaim them, i'm not comfortable with it)

-whatever, don't be weird

And to say the least I'm not familiar with all the terms and things on this site so if I ever made a mistake don't hesitate to tell me ! I genuinely don't want to be weird, my native language isn't english so if I make mistakes on this part please bear with me !

And if you want we can try to be friends or acquaintance, I'm not a talkative person but I try my best !

it bothers me so much when "mental health advocates" are only supportive of the "acceptable" symptoms and disorders...

people who "advocate" for depression but call others disgusting for having trouble showering, or people who "advocate" for trauma survivors but say you shouldnt express your trauma in art or talk about it because its "triggering"...

people who "advocate" for BPD but demonize NPD and ASPD as if they arent in the same cluster...

people "support mental health" until it isnt relatable. people "support mental health" until it cant be romanticized. people "support mental health" until symptoms disrupt life. people "support mental health" until symptoms are noticeable and not easily hidden.

you are not an advocate if you do not advocate for us all. you cannot be a mental health advocate while also talking badly about people with personality disorders, including ASPD and NPD. you cannot be a mental health advocate if you make fun of autistic people who are visibly autistic. you cannot be a mental health advocate if you call the police on someone with psychosis for talking to themselves in public.

if your entire "advocacy" revolves around demonizing more "severe" symptoms or disorders, and romanticizing the "good" and "relatable" symptoms or disorders, you are not an ally. you are feeding into stereotypes.

i have ASPD and NPD. the amount of hate i see in "advocate" spaces is honestly shocking. if your entire advocacy revolves around "helping depressed autistics escape evil narcissists!!!!", you are not an advocate, you are ableist.

people with stigmatized disorders or symptoms should not have to water down the way they experience life and describe their personal symptoms and experiences just to avoid being called bad people. by demonizing some disorders while romanticizing others under the guise of "advocacy", you are spreading misinformation and reinforcing stereotypes. you are worsening the stigma for people who already struggle. you are harming everyone with struggles, because a lot of society does not see a difference of "good" vs "bad" mental illness. to ableist neurotypicals, we are all bad.

you hurt the entire community by excluding your own.

you advocate for all of us, or you help none of us.

Psychosis vent drawing (version 1 is more accurate to how i feel but its a pain to look at lol,,,)

Do not use or post my drawings anywhere.

(reblogs are okay)

Having schizophrenia but being aware of when I’m hallucinating is such a fucking trip because just because I know I’m hallucinating doesn’t make the hallucinations any less horrifying.

The faces in the hydrangea bushes still make me sprint the rest of the way to my door. The calls, and whistles, and whispers still having my turning my headphones all the way up.

And currently the man standing in front of my bedroom door staring both directly into my soul and yet 1000 years away still makes me fear for my life as he would if he were real. But he isn’t, and I know he would either dissipate as I got closer to him or I would simply be able to reach though him and open the door if I so wished. But in my mind and in my heart I feel like if I tried to get up to go upstairs that he would stand, staring, his body and unmoving object in my path that I could do nothing about.

I know he is not real, but still he is there, and still I am scared.

One of the weird things about having multiple types of hallucinogenic disorders (in this case schizophrenia and sleep paralysis) is that I have one single hallucination that crosses between the 2. Like it doesn’t do anything unless its during a sleep paralysis episode but sometimes it’s there even when I’m not “asleep”.

Like when it’s a paralysis thing it like crawls on my ceiling, hangs down every so often, growls/clicks, and just kinda acts like a giant spider with only 4 legs. But when it’s just a schizophrenia thing it just kinda “sits” upside down in the corner of my room staring. It’s not there all the time but sometimes it is.

And there isn’t even like a connection between seeing it paralyzed vs phsycotic. Like if this was a fucking tv show or something it would be like “oh if I see it during the day it means I’m gonna have sleep paralysis tonight” or some shit like that but it’s really just random.

(Picture below the cut that I drew of it during my most recent manic episode)

schizoposting (said by me, a schizophrenic who thinks he's funny): cool!

schizoposting (said by a neurotypical edgelord): not cool!

does this make sense

why are the only reactions to telling somene im schizophrenic 1) piss poor sympathy and 2) making jokes about hallucinations and delusions and sometimes 3) denying my diagnosis?? what ever happened to "oh okay, how can i support you?" kinda strange innit