Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
CW: Swearing, mentions of private parts/genitalia
A/N: I genuinely had so much fun writing this. I love writing crack. This is one of my favorite things ever.
Atsumu sends inspirational quotes to Osamu when Osamu is having a bad day in order to piss him off more. Like the ones you see in TJ Maxx or in a white mother’s beach house. (Also he’s definitely gotten a virus on his phone/computer from downloading sketchy apps for fonts in order to enhance the experience)
Lev has gotten stuck in the net
Hinata and Yachi read warrior cats as a kid
Noya, Tanaka and Yamamoto bark
Yamamoto’s Little Sister Akane hisses at people
Sugawara and Yamaguchi are constantly trying to set everybody up
Oikawa was a drama kid and has always wanted to be in a hallmark movie
Iwaizumi knows how to tap dance
Asahi firmly supports #freebritney
Kenma sells random peoples feet pics online for money for games. Like he goes on google steals ppls feet pics, then goes to insta, looks at the people who like feet pics and DMs them asking if they wanna buy.
Aone doesn’t have any eyebrows because they got burned off
Shirabu has a gap in his bangs in order to not block out his third eye. Semi told him it was on the side of his head
Kageyama buys unpasteurized milk
Sakusa has sprayed Komori with raid
Komori will poke holes is Sakusa’s masks when he pisses him off. Or will hide all of Sakusa’s masks and only leave out ones with days of the week labeled on them.
Semi and Tendou have both been arrested for arson
Goshiki, Shirabu, Kyotani, Makki, and Kinoshita unironically refer to women as “females”
So does Ushijima but he also refers to men as “males” and I don’t want to fight him so it’s alright
Hinata doesn’t know what a prostate is
Osamu spits in Atsumu’s food when he’s mad at him. Better yet, if Atsumu has a slight allergy to something, like something that will only give him a small rash or hives, Osamu will put a little bit of that ingredient in his food so that he can’t taste it, but he still gets an allergic reaction.
Akaashi collects coupons
Bokuto wants an ass tattoo
Oikawa has his asshole bleached
A/N: I was trying to find a fitting way to enter into the Haikyuu fanfic community and this seemed most appropriate. This lowkey got deep for daichi. I apologize if any part of this post sounds like one of Noah Centineo’s wannabe inspirational pinterest quote-eque tweets. It also kinda got less in-depth the longer it went on, I've been up for 28 hours going on three hours of sleep please cut me some slack.
Daichi: Daichi is the dad of the team, that being said unlike most dads (in my experience) I don’t think he necessarily tries to hide when he is feeling negative emotions from the team (his kids). He is a wonderful captain and encourages his teammates to express emotion in a healthy way rather either bottle it all up, or overindulge in the negative feelings in the name of “processing”. That being said, I feel as though because he focuses so much on his team and how to help them handle their emotions, he doesn’t really know how to handle his own. I see him as someone who saw a TikTok saying that you can’t cry to medieval tavern music, and that’s now his go to.
Sugawara: Sugawara Koshi, the mom of the Karasuno team. I feel that at this point it’s practically canon that Suga is secretly a certified hoe bad bitch, and so being a bad bitch he 100% watched the Hannah Montana movie and therefore would undoubtedly cry to the song “Climb”. I also see him crying to literally any song on Ariana Grande’s most recent album Positions, specifically “34+35”.
Asahi: Asahi would definitely only cry to actual sad songs, though Asahi could cry to anything cause he’s just a big softy like that, I also feel like he lowkey likes to be sad in a way. Really just likes to sit in the feels and process it ya know? So I would put him down as someone to cry to “You Said You’d Grow Old With Me” by Michael Schulte. I consider Asahi as a person who both really wants to be in a romantic relationship, and genuinely feels happier when he is in one. This leads me to believe that love songs would be his go to for late night cries.
Nishinoya: Noya would, without a doubt in my mind, cry to “That Bitch” by Bea Miller. Noya does a lot to make sure he always looks, acts and feels like the perfect libero. And so even when crying I have the impression that Noya would want to make sure that he knows he is still in fact that bitch.
Tanaka: Tanaka would cry to “Toxic” by Britney Spears (#freebritney). It’s just something about it I don’t know what, call it instinct but I definitely see Tanaka crying to that song. Or him and Noya and Hinata all crying to “Vogue” by Madonna and trying to do the dance to cheer themselves up.
Kageyama: Kags would cry to “She’s So Gone” from Lemonade Mouth. I think he secretly has a real love for every early 2000s-2010s Disney Channel Original Movie, and would keep a playlist just for when he’s feeling down so he can jam out. Would 100% know the whole dance to “We’re All In This Together”.
Hinata: Hinata would cry to “Mad at Disney” by Salem Ilese. This poor baby probably got his heart broken due to him having unrealistically high expectations and would just be pissed off and frustrated at the world.
Tsukishima: Tsukki would cry to “Daddy Issues” by The Neighborhood. He’s got that internalized homophobia (as much as I wish I had a shot with him there is no way he is straight) and distant older brother issue type shit. Also “When You Love Someone” by James TW, once again it’s the distant older brother issues.
Yamaguchi: Yams would cry to “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi. Another sweetie who would just really want to sink into the feels and cry about a relationship he never had. I hc yams as such a sweetheart but like at the same time his best friend is Tsukki so you know if anyone walked in he would wrap that shit right up and put on “thank u, next”.