Atsumu Headcanons - Blog Posts

Voicemails After the Breakup (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: nothin’ much to say, except I like writing with an accent for Atsumu. That shit’s bomb. Enjoy!

Word count: 2339

Tetsurou Kuroo:

“Hey YN,”

He starts off so strong. His voice has that ever present lilt in it, like he’s trying to bait you closer. 

“I-” he breaks off into a breathless, short laugh, “-I’m not really sure why I called… I guess I was hoping to catch you before I went to practice but…”

He swallows, and you can almost imagine him rubbing the back of his neck. “But I guess I missed you. I mean–not like that.” He sputters. “Not that I don’t miss you! I do! I-”

Kuroo pauses, a bitter chuckle traveling through the phone. “God, I’m a fucking wreck. Did you know that? I’m a fucking trainwreck after us, and I can’t even pinpoint why.”

There’s shuffles in the background before the phone thumps, and Kuroo’s voice is distant but still audible. You figure he’s put you on speaker for whatever reason while finding a seat somewhere. He huffs as he settles in. 

“Sometimes I think it’s because of the way we ended things.” He sighs, tone growing thick like his throat is stuck with something. “I yelled at you, so loudly, and I’ll never forget that look on your face when you left. I relive it every night, you know that? Asking myself what I could have done better and whatnot.” A loud hiss, like he’s sucking on his bottom lip harshly. “What I could have said or done to make you stay.”

“And then it’s not even the breakup that I can’t stop thinking about. It’s those moments we used to have, those goddamn memories I’ve got seared in the back of my brain that I have to repress when someone even spins a goddamn pencil like you did.”

Another thump, and suddenly his voice is much louder than before, the phone pressed back against his ear. “That pillow, you know the one that’s got your perfume all fucking over it. I tried to throw it away yesterday.” He scoffs. “And that failed. So I woke up fucking cuddling it this morning, as if I didn’t already feel like a loser.”

“And I know you still have my sweatshirt,” he inhales then exhales deeply. “I don’t want it back. I can’t–please don’t give it back, I don’t want it. Consider it yours, or whatever. Maybe you’ve already gotten rid of it, I don’t know.” So wobbly. His voice has slowly grown shaky over the last few seconds. “Whatever.”

A long pause drags out for at least a minute, and the only thing that stops you from checking if he’s still on call is the short breaths that are barely audible. 

“Just,” he finally breaks the silence, voice cracking. “Please, I gotta know. For my sanity, please, do you miss me?... Miss us?”

“‘Cause God YN I miss every second of us.”

“One of the guys yesterday asked me what happened between us. I don’t even know why, I just got so mad so quick I wanted to sock him in the face for even bringing you up.” A quiet slap against his skin, like he’s brought up his hand to run it down his face. “I just… I had spent all day trying to keep you out of my head. I saw you in the halls that morning, but I know you didn’t see me–you had your head down reading that fucking book you love so much–and for the rest of the goddamn day I tried to keep you out of my head. And then he brought you up, and I just… God, I don’t even know, I just fucking lost it.”

“The coach sent me home after that, said I needed to clear my head. Not that it worked, ‘cause look where I am now.” He released a self-deprecating laugh.

“Sitting on the damned school steps all over again, crying like an idiot for who knows how long.”

A voice, distant and hesitant, calls out to him. “Kuroo.” It’s Kenma.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m coming, just give me a sec.” But he’s quiet all over again, maybe deep in thought.

But then you hear a ruffling of clothes and a small sniff. Kuroo clears his throat. “I-I have to go. I’ll… just–call me back. Please. I wanna hear your voice, I-... I miss your voice.”

Silence.

“I miss you.”

“I love you.”

Then he hangs up.

Wakatoshi Ushijima:

“YN.” As usual, his tone is deadpan and succinct. If he’s calling you, there’s a reason for it. 

“You’ve left some clothing at my house. Please let me know when you have time to pick it up. I’ll have it prepared for you.”

“There are also the gifts you’ve given me there as well. I don’t know if you want those back or not, so please let me know before your arrival so I can get those packed up as well.”

“Regarding the gifts I’ve given you, you can keep them. I will not be needing them back.”

“If... if you have the time, I would also like to talk to you. I feel we have some things to discuss regarding our breakup.” The line falls silent, but when you pull the phone back, the voicemail still says it has five minutes left.

“I do not like the way we ended things,” he speaks up after a minute has passed. “It was… you’re wrong. You were wrong.”

“You said I didn’t care about you, but you’re wrong. I do. You said I never think about you, never spare you any thoughts, but you’re wrong.”

“The truth is, I hate how distracting you are. I find it hard to focus on practice now. In games, I feel myself losing my edge. You’re always just there. My mind is always on you. So much that I don’t know how to stop it.”

“So when you said I never cared about you… I was frustrated at how wrong you were.” A scraping is heard, dull and barely audible. He’s gritting his teeth, clenching his jaw in what you’ve always recognized as a hint of his growing irritation. 

“How you can take over my mind and still say that I don’t ever spare you a minute of my time, it angers me. You’ve taken so much away from me, and then you go and say that I haven’t given you enough…”

“It’s not fair. I don’t accept it.”

“Tell me, YN. Have I taken over your thoughts the way you’ve taken over mine? Do I have you as wrapped around my finger as you do me?”

“Or have I just become one of those lovesick fools I’ve always despised, chasing after something they can never have?”

“I deserve to know, YN. You owe me that much.” There’s such certainty in his tone. It’s impossible to think of his words as anything else other than absolute truth. Speaking through your phone was a man not only desperately heartbroken, but also completely, utterly confused. To draw such an emotion out of a man like Ushijima…

“Tomorrow, before school, I will find you.” His words held no threat, softly spoken so as to only sound like a promise. “I want you to be honest with me tomorrow, so I can have some semblance of closure.” 

Once more he’s gone silent, as if waiting for your response. Every breath he takes now comes out as a huff more than an exhale. He’s so wound up by now you’re almost positive this attitude will drag on until your conversation tomorrow. 

“It’s what I deserve, YN. You can’t take away from me the one thing my mind has run on for months now and expect me not to want answers.” There’s a squeal of a chair against tile flooring, and a beat later you hear the rustling of clothes as he takes a seat.

“What more you want from me, I’m not quite sure. Yet, somehow, I still feel myself yearning to give it to you.”

“Tell me, YN, is that fair? You’ve taken yourself out of my life, and I still feel as though I’d do anything for you. Give anything for you.”

“At the very least, I must know if my actions were not in vain; if you feel my absence even a little bit in comparison to the hole you’ve left in me.”

“Did you really love me? You said it before you left that night, but if you did, then I don’t understand why you left. I need you to enlighten me, YN. I just don’t understand.”

A pause. “Goodbye, YN. I look forward to our talk tomorrow.”

Atsumu Miya:

“YNNN!” The shout of your name is so loud you yank the phone away from your ear in shock.

Hesitantly, you draw it closer when everything quiets down again. 

“Oh God, someone grab his phone!”

“Atsumu, hand it over now!”

“He’s calling her, isn’t he? Dumbass.”

However remote, you can still hear the groans of your ex’s teammates along with the dull thumping and buzzing of far-off music. You figure he had been at a friend’s house or maybe even a club, and he’d probably locked himself up somewhere like the bathroom with his phone in tow. 

There’s a slam, then a click followed by the muffled shouts of the voices you’d heard earlier. Then a gulp as Atsumu downs the rest of whatever alcoholic drink he somehow got his hands on before calling you.

“YN, how dare you!” Accusatory, and extremely slurred. He’s drunk off his ass, and his accent is so thick you struggle a bit to understand him. “Yer such a meanie for breakin’ my heart like that, darlin’!”

“All I ever wanted was to love you an’ give you the world; why’d ya hafta go an’ take it all away from me?”

Another gulp, and now he’s sniffling. “I just… I just don’t know why you did it. It was gonna be us two forever, darlin’. You said you’d never leave me. Why did ya have to…?”

“I know it’s hard for you to be alone for all that time, darlin’, an’ I ain’t gonna act like I never saw how you felt. But you said you could do it–you promised that ya'd do it for me.”

“What happened to all those promises? You said you loved me so many times, and now every time I think about you sayin’ those words, it hurts so bad. I know I’m gonna regret this later, I ain’t stupid, but I want you ta know that I’m broken now, darlin’, and it’s because a’ you.”

“The nights are so unbearable, YN. I can’t stand ‘em. You wouldn’t believe how cold that bed is without you in it. And yer fuckin’ pillow–goddamnit that thing–so many times now I thought a’ just throwin’ it out rather than smell it for one more second. That fuckin’ perfume ya always wear is just everywhere on that bed though, so I say to myself, ‘What’s the point? It’s still there no matter what I do.’ And do ya know what’s really sad?”

The slurring, the wobbling, the stuttering. At this point, he’s an incomprehensible mess. Long ago you’d heard a concerning bang, but that bang had caused the end of his unsteady footsteps so you figured he’d finally just collapsed to the ground. 

“Two days ago I took down all the pictures we got hung up all over the apartment. Every single one I took down and put ‘em all in a li’l pile on the couch. An’ on the coffee table I had this stupid trash bag, and I had this fuckin’ lighter in my hand. For an hour, I sat there, lookin’ at the first damned picture I took from that pile. The stupid lighter ran outta gas ‘bout halfway through, and I still didn’t put the picture down. It was like I was stuck lookin’ at us, at how good we were. So many times I asked myself what the hell went so wrong that you up and left me outta the blue.” A choked up laugh snuck through the speaker. “It was that picture of us when we graduated. I was holdin’ you in my arms and you were smilin’ and hangin’ onto me so tight and—fuck-” Atsumu broke off in a breathless whimper, a muted sob slipping through. 

After about a minute of silent weeping, he cleared his throat, though it was scratchy rough when he spoke again. “All those pictures–they’re back up on the wall, darlin’. Never did nothin’ with ‘em, never hid ‘em away.”

“I just… I just don’t wanna get rid of ‘em. And ya wanna know why? It’s the most pitiful thing yer ever gonna hear.” He heaves a shaky sigh. “It’s ‘cuz I keep hopin’ one a’ these days yer gonna show back up at our door, that li’l look of confusion on yer face when ya see I got rid a’ all our pictures together, and then you’ll get all sad and pouty and beg me to dig ‘em outta the trash for ya.”

“I’d do it. Ya know I would. I’d do anything for you.”

“S-so can you come back, darlin’? Please?”

“‘Cuz I need you, bad. I can’t stand it anymore.”

“That damned house is too quiet without you singin’ and dancin’ all over it. An’ I can’t ever figure out where you got those scented candles from–the ones that smell like yer perfume. I can’t find ‘em, and the ones you left behind, they’re all burnt out. All used up.”

“I miss you, darlin’. Fuck, I can’t stand another second without you.”

“Please, just come back to me. I need you.”

And in the background his friends have finally jimmied the door open. There’s a strangled cry as one of them tackles Atsumu to the ground, ripping the phone from his grasp. “Fuck, guys, look, he is calling her.”

“Oh, ‘Tsumu…”

And the call ends.

So I have a request can you write how Kenma Kageyama Nishinoya and Atsumu would react to their s/o randomly telling them to spread their legs cause she wants to put their head on their stomach 🥺👉🏾👈🏾 please and thank you 🙏🏾

“Spread Your Legs”... to Cuddle (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: Slight warning guys, I haven’t watched season four. Aka, Atsumu is maybe OOC. Aka aka, I have no idea how tf he acts. I tried tho, I swear. Also, dear requester, with my dirty mind, I sincerely hope I took your request the right way, and hope you weren’t completely looking for innocent fluff. With love, this dirty-minded author. Anyway, hope you like it! (Oh fuck, I just reread your request, I am so sorry (I saw “randomly” and went off). But I promise some of it is fluffy!! you know... some of it.)

Word count: 1116

Kozume Kenma: 

I'm just gonna start out by saying this is Kenma we’re talking about.

If you ask him for something romantic, he’s obligated to say “fuck no.”

Like seriously, you just gotta sneak attack this dude, cuz straight up asking him isn’t gonna work.

… okay maybe just this once.

“Hey Kenma, can you spread your legs?”

He gives you a weird look, then returns to playing his game. “No.”

I told you so.

So anyways, you just, you know, spread his legs.

He’s laying on the couch so one of them dangles off, and you just kinda slither between and snuggle up to his lap. 

As you do so, he takes in a quick breath and avoids your gaze, keeping his eyes locked on the screen with maximum effort. 

You lay your head on his stomach and smile against him, enjoying the heat after a cold day.

“You’re really warm.” You press a kiss to his stomach and he tenses up.

“Y-you should’ve told me this is what you were going to do.”

“Would you have let me do it?”

“...” 

He just purses his lips and relaxes his game on top of your head.

“Do you want me to stop?” You set your chin on his stomach and peer up at him innocently.

He flushes and rolls his eyes. “...no.”

Kageyama Tobio: 

You’re playing with fire with this one. But like… fake fire that doesn’t burn when you touch it, you feel me?

… Anyways, this guy is very, very concerned at first.

“Tobio, can you spread your legs for me?” 

It’s one of the few days he’s invited you over (more like you invited yourself), and when you popped into his room, he’s already relaxing in bed.

When he hears those words, steam practically blows from his ears.

“W-WHAT?!”

You love to tease him of course, and any other day, you would’ve done so, but…

Fuck it, who am I kidding, you’re totally gonna tease him. 

You step closer to his bed where he’s got one leg crossed over the other and he flinches when you run your hands up his lower legs. 

“Just spread your legs for me, baby.” 

“Y-YN, you don’t have to do this.” 

“Don’t be so nervous, Tobio. I want to.”

Hesitantly, he allows you to settle your hands on his kneecaps and pull his legs apart. 

You slide up onto the bed and slink your way in between his legs, giving him a reassuring smile. 

Then you plop down in the middle of his thighs and rest your head on his stomach with a relieved sigh. 

“Mmm, thanks for letting me do this, Tobio.”

He’s silently oblivious for a moment. (Lowkey thinking “is this how it’s supposed to be done the first time?”)

Then he slowly sets his hands in your hair and combs through it with trembling fingers. 

“S-sure.” 

Don’t worry, later you showed him how it’s done ;)

… meaning you let him lay his head on your stomach then. Geez, get ur head outta the gutter, guys. 

Nishinoya Yuu: 

SPEAKING OF PERVERTS

Just kidding, this strong boi treats you like a queen. 

“Spread your legs, Yuu.”

“Oh, FUCK YEAH!” 

Except for that. You can only giggle when he spreads his legs wide instantly, relaxing a hand behind his head while the other rests on his chest.

With a grin, you clamber onto the bed and slip between his legs, resting your head on his stomach. 

Nishinoya instantly combs his free hand through your hair while you hum in delight against him.

‘Cause you guys do this all the time. Because this is how you cuddle. 

He loves feeling like he’s taking care of you, and this is just one of the many ways he does. 

When you ask him to spread his legs, he knows it’s because you’re cold and want snuggles, and this tiny boy absolutely loves to provide for you. 

Once, when you tried to move after he had fallen asleep, his legs literally wrapped around you and trapped you against his chest. It was warm tho, so you couldn’t complain.

Anytime, whenever you’re watching a movie or just plain old taking a nap, he loves the feeling of you between his legs. 

If it’s a scary movie or you’re having a nightmare and you whimper into his chest, he’ll just coo and massage your scalp until you calm down. We’re talking hairdresser-level scalp massages. 

Noya is good with his hands, it’s confirmed.

As I said before, he loves to take care of you, and you asking him to spread his legs isn’t an uncommon occurrence whenever you two hang out. 

Now this doesn’t mean he doesn’t get a little too excited sometimes...

Miya Atsumu:

First of all, y’all are just laying in the grass courtyard studying.

Well, you’re studying. He’s just basking in the sun and trying to fuck with you in any way he can. 

When you finish (or more like give up) your studying is when you ask order him.

“Spread your legs.”

His brow raises oH fUcK, then he does that lil smirk.

“Oh really? Here? YN, you naughty girl.”

You’re dead tired. “Shut up perv, I just wanna cuddle.”

“What if I wanna do more than cuddle?” *waggles eyebrows*

“Suffer.” 

You spread his legs apart and he silently inhales, trying not to choke on air. 

When you crawl up between his thighs, he tenses up and the smirk on his face falters a bit. 

Then you rest your cheek on his stomach and wrap your arms around him like a teddy bear and he’s like “oh.”

There’s not really much he can do. He doesn’t wanna push you off bc nO but he also wants to keep up his suave, self-controlled appearance. 

But that’s not how biology works.

His hands settle into your hair and he’s hoping if you fall asleep fast enough, you won’t notice. So he starts brushing through your tangled strands and holding you closer to keep you warm.

I mean, you were really tired after studying, right?

Wrong.

“Atsumuuuu.”

“Sorry babe, but this is mostly your fault, just sayin.”

Yeah so um, next time you wanna lay on his stomach, just kinda say it, cuz this boy is all about gettin’ it onnn.

You’re too pure for him to handle

𝐍𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟑, 𝐌𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮

KITA VERSION HERE

pairing: miya atsumu x reader (strangers to lovers—fake dating)

genre: fluff

word count: 1.4k

summary: number 13, miya atsumu seems like a nice man, but his little dilemma he ropes you into seems to show you he’s much more than that

“Hey, you’re Miya’s date, right?” Turning, you frown, staring at the MSBY player before you with furrowed eyebrows. Atsumu had mentioned his name to you before, but you can’t seem to recall it, having been a part of a list of far too many names to remember only fifteen minutes before reaching the gym.

“Um, n—yes! Yes, absolutely. I am,” you catch yourself at the last second, nodding furiously with a large (probably more than necessary) smile. He stares at you for a moment before nodding slowly, awkwardly smiling back.

You’re not sure if he’s completely convinced.

“Oh, okay. Well, uh…see you after the game, then,” he offers before quickly walking away.

Number 13, Miya Atsumu. He’s a nice man—from what you can tell at least. He’s helped you carry groceries to your car before—somehow always managing to be at the store at the same time as you. He’s paid for your drink at the local coffee shop that one morning—you’d forgotten your wallet in the car—and his smile seemed genuine enough. It was a little cocky for your taste, but his eyes were sincere, the saccharine honey of his orbs seeping with warmth when you looked into them.

And when he approached you, hands stuffed in his pockets and eyes downcast as he kicked a few pebbles around, claiming he’d needed a favor, you couldn’t find it in you to say no.

“I had a one night stand and a few photos got out to the press o’ me walkin’ out. Told ma manager I was datin’ someone so she wouldn’t get onta me,” he’d mumbled sheepishly, and though it seemed like a lot of trouble, you’d still agreed to be his date.

And here you were. His date, with him nowhere to be found.

The sudden poke to your hip makes you jolt, turning to face the source of your scare, hand unconsciously ready to shove it away when a smooth chuckle and a warm, callused hand on your wrist makes you pause.

“Woah, there,” Atsumu flashes you a grin, tugging you flush against his chest. The proximity makes you swallow, looking up at his face with wide eyes. He smirks slightly. “Yer here as ma date, wouldn’t look too believable if ya shoved me two seconds in, would it?”

Your voice seems to find itself as you frown, huffing before you look him in the eye more determined this time. His smirk only widens.

“You shouldn’t scare your date on the first one, it’s not very gentlemanly of you.” He offers you a sly grin, hand wandering down lower till it reaches the small of your back. Your breath hitches at the way he starts rubbing small circles into it.

“Well, I s’pose ya gotta point,” he mumbles, head dipping down lower till his breath is fanning lightly against your face. He smells faintly of cologne, cool yet spicy, but definitely expensive. “Can’t let people get the wrong idea, can we? Come on, angel, we gotta convince em.”

Eyes widening as you realize what he means, you press your palm against his chest, a futile attempt to push him away, really—the sturdiness of his muscled chest was enough to distract you instantly.

“I…y-you…here? You want to—here? In front of all these people?”

And he chuckles once more, making you start to wonder how the smooth and adorably sweet guy from the grocery store and coffee shop had become so smug.

“‘S just a kiss. Never had a kiss before?” You scowl, finally shoving at his chest this time, but his grip only tightens.

“Of course I have, you moron. Just not with a star athlete in front of all his fans,” you mutter.

“Ya keep up with me on the media?” Scoffing, you turn your head away to the side, not willing to admit that perhaps you’d searched his name in google once or twice. It was strictly informational.

“As if,” you huff. “This is not a very great first date, you know.”

“‘S not real, thought we went over that. Don’t tell me yer attached already?”

Number 13, Miya Atsumu seemed more a handful than you’d initially anticipated. With pursed lips and narrowed eyes, you glare daggers at him, making his eyes sparkle with amusement.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m the one doing you the favor here. Be a little grateful.”

“Well ya gotta play yer part for me ta be grateful, angel. Gotta give em a show. Kiss me,” he puckers his lips slightly. “I’ll be grateful.”

You shove his face away when he leans down, making his lips curl into a pout. Staring at him in disbelief, you look around to see if anyone is staring at the show Atsumu is so hellbent on giving. To your dismay, it seems the entirety of the stands has their eyes cast specifically on you, making you sag into his hold.

For the millionth time, Atsumu’s snicker rings in your ears.

“Atsu—Miya, I’m not kissing you here in front of—”

“Ya can’t call yer boyfriend by his last name!”

“Fake boyfriend. Fake.”

“But they don’t know that,” he grins. Groaning, you sigh in defeat, glancing around the gym a few more times before ultimately caving. Atsumu’s grin couldn’t be any wider, and if it was, you’d have half a mind to smack it gone.

Perhaps your good deed was a bite that was much more than you could chew at the moment.

“Fine, if I give you a quick peck on the lips, will you be satisfied?”

“Oh, I’d be ecstatic,” he smirks. So, with an exasperated sigh, you usher him closer—to which he obliges much to quickly, and much too happily.

“Okay, but remember, it’s just a quick peck, okay? Don’t—” he cuts you off before you can finish your sentence.

And it most certainly isn’t a quick peck.

Atsumu presses his lips firmly against yours, molding against you so perfectly, you can’t help but close your eyes shut. His arms tighten their grip around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer, and the scent of his cologne wafts through your nose once again, much stronger this time. And he swallows the strangled noise you let out, only kissing you deeper. The hand that lay flat on his chest a moment ago grips his shirt tightly, and your other hand subconsciously wanders past his shoulders to play with the hair at the base of his neck. He smirks against your lips.

Pulling away, he places one delicate, tiny, quick peck to your slightly swollen lips, huffing out yet another chuckle at the dazed expression on your face.

Except this time, it’s not cocky or smug. It’s purely one of glee, and it matches his expression. He looks almost as giddy as a child at an ice cream shop.

“A quick peck, as promised,” he winks.

“Atsumu! Everyone’s watched that! What’re they gonna say? It’ll be all over the media if we’re never seen together after a kiss like that! And—”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to be seen together after that, angel,” he cuts you off. Sputtering, you do a double take at his words, watching as he all but rolls on the balls of his feet in excitement.

And it clicks in your head, finally, that this was just number 13, Miya Atsumu, MSBY’s star setter and your resident smooth talker’s elaborate plan to set you both up to see each other over and over again.

You roll your eyes as you mumble “you could’ve just asked me on a real date like a normal person.”

“Well, I did actually tell ma manager I was datin’ someone,” he mumbles sheepishly, and you catch a small glimpse of the same shyness you’d seen when he first approached you with his dilemma. “But I thought it was a good opportunity ta dazzle ya,” he offers a toothy grin. Your heart does a 360 in your chest at the sight.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“And yer unbelievably cute when yer flustered.” The whistle blows, and his attention turns to his coach who’s ushering him over sternly, making him turn to you with a smile. “I’ll see ya after the game, kay, babe? Cheer for me real loud.”

And with another stolen peck on the lips, Atsumu jogs to where his team is waiting, glancing over his shoulder and winking over at you. You cover your mouth with your hand and stifle a chuckle when he stumbles slightly, ramming into a raven and curly haired man who scowls and shrugs him off.

Number 13, Miya Atsumu seemed quite the handful, but you think you can manage to deal with him somehow.

reblogs are really appreciated !!

Random Haikyuu Headcanons

CW: Swearing, mentions of private parts/genitalia

A/N: I genuinely had so much fun writing this. I love writing crack. This is one of my favorite things ever.

Atsumu sends inspirational quotes to Osamu when Osamu is having a bad day in order to piss him off more. Like the ones you see in TJ Maxx or in a white mother’s beach house. (Also he’s definitely gotten a virus on his phone/computer from downloading sketchy apps for fonts in order to enhance the experience)

Lev has gotten stuck in the net 

Hinata and Yachi read warrior cats as a kid

Noya, Tanaka and Yamamoto bark

Yamamoto’s Little Sister Akane hisses at people

Sugawara and Yamaguchi are constantly trying to set everybody up

Oikawa was a drama kid and has always wanted to be in a hallmark movie

Iwaizumi knows how to tap dance

Asahi firmly supports #freebritney 

Kenma sells random peoples feet pics online for money for games. Like he goes on google steals ppls feet pics, then goes to insta, looks at the people who like feet pics and DMs them asking if they wanna buy.

Aone doesn’t have any eyebrows because they got burned off

Shirabu has a gap in his bangs in order to not block out his third eye. Semi told him it was on the side of his head

Kageyama buys unpasteurized milk 

Sakusa has sprayed Komori with raid

Komori will poke holes is Sakusa’s masks when he pisses him off. Or will hide  all of Sakusa’s masks and only leave out ones with days of the week labeled on them.

Semi and Tendou have both been arrested for arson

Goshiki, Shirabu, Kyotani, Makki, and Kinoshita unironically refer to women as “females”

So does Ushijima but he also refers to men as “males” and I don’t want to fight him so it’s alright

Hinata doesn’t know what a prostate is

Osamu spits in Atsumu’s food when he’s mad at him. Better yet, if Atsumu has a slight allergy to something, like something that will only give him a small rash or hives, Osamu will put a little bit of that ingredient in his food so that he can’t taste it, but he still gets an allergic reaction.

Akaashi collects coupons

Bokuto wants an ass tattoo

Oikawa has his asshole bleached