Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
CW: Swearing, mentions of private parts/genitalia
A/N: I genuinely had so much fun writing this. I love writing crack. This is one of my favorite things ever.
Atsumu sends inspirational quotes to Osamu when Osamu is having a bad day in order to piss him off more. Like the ones you see in TJ Maxx or in a white mother’s beach house. (Also he’s definitely gotten a virus on his phone/computer from downloading sketchy apps for fonts in order to enhance the experience)
Lev has gotten stuck in the net
Hinata and Yachi read warrior cats as a kid
Noya, Tanaka and Yamamoto bark
Yamamoto’s Little Sister Akane hisses at people
Sugawara and Yamaguchi are constantly trying to set everybody up
Oikawa was a drama kid and has always wanted to be in a hallmark movie
Iwaizumi knows how to tap dance
Asahi firmly supports #freebritney
Kenma sells random peoples feet pics online for money for games. Like he goes on google steals ppls feet pics, then goes to insta, looks at the people who like feet pics and DMs them asking if they wanna buy.
Aone doesn’t have any eyebrows because they got burned off
Shirabu has a gap in his bangs in order to not block out his third eye. Semi told him it was on the side of his head
Kageyama buys unpasteurized milk
Sakusa has sprayed Komori with raid
Komori will poke holes is Sakusa’s masks when he pisses him off. Or will hide all of Sakusa’s masks and only leave out ones with days of the week labeled on them.
Semi and Tendou have both been arrested for arson
Goshiki, Shirabu, Kyotani, Makki, and Kinoshita unironically refer to women as “females”
So does Ushijima but he also refers to men as “males” and I don’t want to fight him so it’s alright
Hinata doesn’t know what a prostate is
Osamu spits in Atsumu’s food when he’s mad at him. Better yet, if Atsumu has a slight allergy to something, like something that will only give him a small rash or hives, Osamu will put a little bit of that ingredient in his food so that he can’t taste it, but he still gets an allergic reaction.
Akaashi collects coupons
Bokuto wants an ass tattoo
Oikawa has his asshole bleached