Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Wild: Cronch
Wild: You hear that? That's the sound of me eating sticks.
Twilight: Wild please don't-
Wild already shoving a stick into his mouth: Too late.
Wild: Am I in trouble?
Twilight: Guess.
Wild: No?
Twilight: Try again.
Warriors: Just be yourself. Say something nice!
Legend: Which one though? I can’t be both!
Legend: I’m not great at giving advice.
Legend: Can I offer you a sarcastic comment instead?
Twilight: … the important thing is that you learned something.
Wild walking away with half of his hair burnt and clothing covered in ash: No, I didn’t.
Hyrule: I will never understand people.
Legend: They’re the worst.
Wild: How tall are you?
Warriors: 6 feet.
*later*
Wild: How tall are you?
Four turns omoniously to stare at Wild: I AM 4 FEET AND 4 INCHES AND 1 QUARTER. Leans froward to grab Wild I WILL DESTROY YOU.
Wild: Sometimes, forgiveness means more than anything. The difference between life and death.
Four: Why are you in my room at 3 in the morning.
Wild: I didn't want to invoke the wrath of Time and Malon.
Four: And why did you come to me?
Wild: Hyrule burned water.
Four *suddenly wide awake*: Why did you let Hyrule near the stove?!
Wild: I didn't, he was just attracted to fire.
Link, *trying to get Din to calm down*: "Okay, okay, chill!"
Din: "I INVENTED CHILL!"
Nayru, rolling eyes:"No, I invented chill. You are literally the opposite of chill."
Din:"Remind me which of us is the Oracle of Seasons again?"
Nayru: "You're a fire goddess who wanted to play around how to add more heat without overbaking people, so you invented summer with the other seasons as a compromise. I'm a water goddess and goddess of law. Deep waters come in cold. Justice is served cold. I invented chill, ya flamebrain."
Farore: *Just sits back and eats popcorn*
Hylia just walking in: What the-?
Legend internally: That guy has red eyes! He must be evil! Camera pans over to show Dark Link just kinda vibing. Legend internally again, moves to take read his book again: Well, not going to let that ruin my day.
ALT
Four looks up from his book, internally: That's a god! Pans over to show Hylia. Four goes back to his book, internally: Well, not going to ruin my day.
Hylia opens her mouth to speak: I-
Legend: Oh. You’ve come to see me? Well let me give you a tour before you say another word. This here is my wall of my given fuchs. As you can see, it’s pretty empty. Ooh! What’s that? That person seems to be selling fucks. Too bad I seem to be all out of cash! And this dispensing thing- too seems to be selling fucks. Still don’t have any cash though!
Legend: Reasons why Warriors is annoying.
Legend: Number 1) He's annoying.
Legend: Number 2) He keeps stealing my items.
*Legend continues to pull up a 300 slide presentation of 'Why Warriors is annoying'*
The rest of the chain:
Warriors: >:0
Main navigation center
Part 1
Linked Universe (LU)/other LU inspired things:
Wild was never good at math.
A normal family? With Wild? No way! - A normal adventure? With Hylia? No way!
(Tw: arson) My pronouns are I’m going to COMMIT ARSON!
(Modern au) Four what have you done?!
(Could be modern or normal au) The sockrifice
(Again, could be modern or normal au) Sky wants to sleep in that bed
(Modern au, kinda) Hyrule, HOW DARE YOU PUT PINEAPPLE ON MY PIZZA-
Ahhh, the smell of land hurtling towards you at max speed.
(Modern au) I wanted to see ‘emo boys’, not Legend!
(Lu version) When life gives you lemons…-actually what is a lemon??
Count the amount of sand in this desert Fi.
Seriously, would you like butter on your ice?? Wait-
The Lu chain + bonuses as funny quotes I’ve heard/seen.
(Kinda Modern au) The reasons why Warriors is annoying.
((TW: SWEARING)) Legend is fresh out of fucks.
Not going to let that ruin my day!
(Kind of LU- could be LOZ) Who truly invented chill??
Why did you let Hyrule burn water Wild?!
How to CORRECTLY talk to a short person.
Hyrule doesn’t understand people.
I’m pretty sure Wild doesn’t learn…
Legend isn’t good at advice.
Legend can’t be both!
Wild, guess again.
Wild- Don't eat sticks.
Main navigation center
Part 2
Linked Universe (LU)/other LU inspired things:
Post-Lu Wind in War of Eras
Wind can't play chess
Four is not a kid!
Wind's gliding with a leaf
Four during Sunset pt 7-9 & 11.
Dink better not have killed Twilight, Wild's mad!
(Also four swords adventures, or fsa) Four should of left Shadow on the street
The Swear outline of the LU cast.
Wild you should know better then to trust Hyrule
Wild and Hyrule learn about the source of life
Uh oh! Wild broke another sword!
Sky and Four isn't pleased the master sword's broken Wild...
What is Legend allergic to?
Hyrule is wondering why life’s difficult Legend!
(Modern au) Its a true or false question!!
When Wild has the braincell
Yeah, seriously Wind, HOW did you even walk?!
Legend is after you Hylia. You’re next…
Yeah thats fair Wild.
Legend, Ravio is sorry for the intrusion…
Seriously, what is 5 x 2 ??
Wild, we know fire is fascinating, but come on!
Legend can’t take a break in Hyrule!
Twilight’s so proud of you Four!!
Yeah we’ve had worse.
Time and Four, chaos gremlins. Oh and Hyrule, the smart man.
Wild will always come up with crazier plans Four.
Modern au: You can get water.
Modern au: When will Ted.. finally appear?
Sky just wanted you guys to take him up later!!
Don’t insult Four’s height.
How are you so positive??? We’re being sacrificed!
Now thats unpeelable!
Legend, philosophy isn’t a wea- oop that sword definitely is a weapon!
(Kind of modern au) This is how little Legend cares
Red and Wild woke up and chose violence
(Modern au) Legend, don't say that to the customers!
(Modern au) Prepare yourselves McDonalds.
That’s hypothermia Warriors.
DANG IT WILD- sorry habit…
(Kinda modern au)You take that back Legend-
[phone rings and Kai picks it up]
Kai: Oh hi, what’s up?
Garmadon: I see you…
Kai:
Garmadon:
Kai:
Garmadon:
Kai: Do I look fabulous or what?
Rekrap: Y’know, everyone lost something today. I lost Reddons, Branzy lost his sword… Clownpierce lost his patience and Parrot lost all hope for us again.
Jay: Y’know, I’m not totally useless. I can always be used as a bad example.
Nya: I’ll be the evidence.
Cole: I can be the support!
Kai: I can be the good example!
Lloyd: I’ll be.. the claim?
Zane: I can be the counter-argument!
Pixal: I’ll be disappointed.
Spoke: Hey, I need your help to break in to somewhere. They got something of mine.
Branzy: You know that’s against the rules.
Spoke: Even better. But uh- wait, it is?
Branzy: Naw, I’m messing with you. I’m totally in.
Ashwag appearing literally out of nowhere: I heard ‘against the rules’, whatever it is, I’m also in.
Those three would be besties in law breaking.
Jay: What’s your biggest flaw Kai?
Kai: Sometimes I don’t listen to people because they’re boring me.
Jay: Oh that’s not too bad! I do that sometimes also.
Kai: Sorry, what were you saying again?
Jay: What are you? Two?
Kai: Yeah, two feet taller than you!
Jay: :0
Jay: >:0
Cole holding Jay back as Jay struggles: JAY NO-
Jay: KAI- I’M NOT THATS SHORT! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-
Kai: You’ll need to reach up?
Jay in the middle of writing/typing something: Oh- ah. What’s it called again??
Zane working nearby: What’s what called?
Jay: Oh you know, that… [mimes] spritz thingy with the nozzles and trigger thing.
Zane: I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.
Jay: Never mind. It’ll probably come back to me later.
Later… (3:00 am)
Jay: SPRAY BOTTLE!
Zane: AHHHH-
A very tired Wild: Would you like butter in your ice- wait no-
Hyrule turning to look at Four: I’m not sure, would you like butter on your ice? … wait a minute-
Four: [dying of laughter in the background]
Jay on the phone: MASTER WU! We need your help! I-
Master Wu either just got on a faris wheel or having his tea time: Nu-uh. Is a great evil back?
Jay: Well… no?
Master Wu: Are the Oni returning?
Jay: …. No?
Master Wu: Then it’s not an emergency. *hangs up*
Cole: What did he say? What do we go about the portal to another realm in our living room?
Jay: He said it wasn’t an emergency.
Kai being attacked by something from the portal: HOW IN THE FIRST SPINJITZU MASTER IS THIS NOT AN EMERGENCY?!?
Cop: You’re recieving a ticket for having three people on a bike.
Blue: Shit.
Green: Wait three??
Cop: Yeah??
Red: Oh Hylia- VIO FELL OFF!!!!
And thus, Triforce heroes was born.
Hyrule: Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does
Wild: I opened the window and influenza.
Time: What’s upstairs? Unfortunately stairs can’t talk.
Sky: The bird flu? Uh yeah they tend to do that.
Warriors: Based? Based on what.
Four: Apartment complex? I actually find it quite simple.
Legend: You’re telling me a ginger bred this man?
Wind: You’re telling me a shrimp fired this rice?
Twilight: Wood fired pizza? How’s pizza going to get a job now?
Bonus
Ravio: Chef kiss? Do… Do they really?
Dink: Who broke into the bar and stole our limbo stick. Seriously, how low can you go.
Wild: Hmmm. A desert. Count how many sand is here Fi. That's your first job. Fi: okay. Fi: [starts counting] Four: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE HER DO THAT?! Wild: it passes the time. Four: It's going to take so long! Wild! This is going to be so ANNOYING! Wild: I'm curious to see what her number is. Four: NO! he's just going to be counting forever! Fi: [still counting] Four: Wild, what have you done?! This is your fault! Fi: There is only 30 million sand particles in this desert. Wild: See, that was easy. Four: facepalming oh for the love of Hylia.
BONUS
Four: You know- Sky would be super angry if we just had left Fi counting forever. Wild: I know. Sky knows what he did.
*Meanwhile*
Wind and Hyrule dying of laughter in the background
Wind: Time should’ve probably not left Legend in charge…
Legend: I’m turning a blind eye.
Aloy *solely trying to piss off whichever enemy she’s facing off against now*: You still use bows? I just throw arrows really fast.
*Starting throwing arrows with pinpoint accuracy.*
Reddons: Hi, welcome to Applebees, would you like apples of bees?
Spoke: B-bees..?
Reddons: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES.
Spoke: Wha-
Ashwag: *walks in with a jar of bees*
Spoke: WAIT-
Bonus:
Branzy: Hi, welcome to Clown’s circus. Would you like the stabbing part or the scamming part?
Literally anyone: What..?
Branzy: CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve chosen BOTH!!
Clownpierce: *breaks the wall with his sword drawn*
Alva: how does Beta and Aloy get out of this?
Kotallo *tiredly*: they don’t, they just make a bigger mess to cancel out the first one.
Erend: Do you ever want to talk about your feelings Aloy?
Aloy: no.
Varl: I do!
Erend: I know Varl.
Varl: I’m sad.
Erend: I know Varl.