Romantic Poem - Blog Posts

I made it this far, right?

So it shouldn't be so hard to relate to others.

But it just feels like there's a glass dome separating me from other people.

I wanted to love Noah more than anything...but my pain stops me.

He's being patient and all, but I don't know how much longer I can hold him.... Heavens I want him so much that my heart even hurts!

But when he touches me I remember them

Not images like those clichés in movies... But I feel the pulling and nausea and everything horrible.

This is so unfair...

So unbearably lonely...

That sometimes I wanted to have wings and fly far away...

Far away from myself.

Meu Coração Não Pode Ser Meu

Bom estamos aqui

Cheguei até aqui, certo?

Então não deveria ser tão difícil me relacionar com os outros.

Mas simplesmente parece que tem uma redoma de vidro me separando de outras pessoas.

Eu queria me relacionar com Noah mais que tudo...mas a minha dor me impede.

Ele está sendo paciente e tudo mais, mas não sei por mais quanto tempo consigo segura-lo....

Céus eu o quero tanto que meu coração até dói!

Mas quando ele me toca eu lembro deles

Não imagens como esses clichês em filmes...

Mas sinto os puxões o enjoo e tudo de horrível.

Isso é tão injusto...

Tão insuportavelmente solitário...

Que as vezes eu queria ter asas e voar para bem longe...longe de eu mesma.

Collete2019

Felipe

Maybe it's hard for you to understand

Understand what it's like to feel the deep emptiness

The pain of knowing you'll never receive that love of fairy tales

of adventure stories

I never saw this love

My mother died when I was a child

My Aunt

The only light

Jumped off a building when I turned 21

Sex was always easy

But love

I thought I would never feel that

I would never receive I never felt anything from anyone

As much as people gave themselves to me

Until I see you

for some reason i knew you were the chosen one

You could love me just as much as I would love you

When you looked at me with indifference

Something inside me died

Everything was you

You are my Religion

My light

My silver sword

You were after all... my obsession

Suddenly living without you was not an option

Collete 2022

" Dearest, your little heart is wounded; think me not cruel because I obey the irrestible law of my strength and weakness; if your dear heart is wounded, my wild heart bleeds with yours. In the rapture of my enormous humiliation I live in your warm live, and you shall die... die sweetly die... into mine".

Carmilla- Sheridan Le Fanu

Better then never knowing , but the deepest story’s are always - what if ❤️

i think there’s a reason

why former love tears us apart

it’s so one day

when we find our other half

we know what it feels like

to truly be whole

Stitched holes in my black boots with fishing line Laced in memories of the hotel room we danced in The night you told me this city wasn't yours anymore Yet I would forever be your favourite home Tattered clothing held together by rows of safety pins Keeping the places you touched in tact a little longer So afraid of the day there's one wash too many And the scent of your shampoo leaves for good Duct tape over every seam of my messenger bag Desperate to hold together our long and messy history Carrying the last stray hairs of yours that held on Rested by crumpled receipts from times we'd share Laminated covers over every message you send me Collectors items, reluctantly aware I now have them all Nothing left but to sort them into colour-coded folders You always kept your desk space so well organized Maybe if I add enough paperclips this love wont fly away Just one more day, week, month, year - eternity One last second spent in the moments between us Before you end up in another beginning, someone else's arms Stationary drawers and laundry hampers can't solve this Our chapter was far too short to end where it did We still have strings I need to haphazardly mend And staples for you to punch through my heart With this final paper plane, addressed from me to you Promise I understand not everything gets to last You've grown too much to remain nostalgic any longer Though, I wonder if the sky can ever contain what you're after If we got another chance to do it all over, start from fresh Tell me, how different could our picture book possibly be? Time after time, I swear to you I would be content As long as on each page, remained versions of you and me I would've stuck to you like glue, unwavering, you know? Taping stories together, convincing myself of grand delusion While I wanted to wait for you, it burned when you didn't stay The truth is, we both deserve better than "someday" ... "You and me, someday."

Date Written: 23rd of November, 2023

Honest to whatever gods may be out there waiting on me, I love being the big spoon. I love wrapping myself around you as you chirp and sigh in your sleep, an enchanting orchestra of early morning comforts sung from the careful ridges of your spine. I love when you curl into my side in search of safety from the world, assured with no doubts that nothing bad can ever reach you beneath my loving gaze. I love the gentle kisses you'll place down my cheek to my neck as I bring you breakfast in bed and wake you up slowly to the quiet melodies of your favourite song. A private exhibition of love, learnt how to play on my old beat up guitar just for you. And though the duct tape on its sides warps the sound and there is a slight pressure placed on my heartbeat as I vulnerably share such an armature rendition - when you tell me you have never felt more loved, I decide to make a habit of my foolery for as long as these breaths shall last.

Date Written: 17th of November, 2023

I do not want a conditional love. I will not be the girl who is only loved when it is convenient. I will not be the girl who is only loved when the time is right. I will not be the girl who is only loved when her shape is appropriate. I will not be the girl who is only loved when you decide she deserves it. I would rather live loveless for the whole of my life than compromise for even a second and live a life being told I am not enough as I am, all the time. Because I will love with the ferocity of a blazing sun, unconditional and eternal - so why can I not want the same? It is not impossible, I am wholly capable and exist as proof that it can be done. Any excuse otherwise is simply worthless, a lie to pretend infatuation could ever be love. Love is loud and obnoxious and treats your insides like a poison. It ruins your mind, your soul, your touch, your heart. It takes every part of your being and makes it it's own, as if they never belonged to you in the first place. The only cure is them and their happiness. You can handle the pain if it is in their name, you can take the fire.. but if it's true, they will never let you - because they would feel the same flames of hell without you. I want that. I won't settle for less.

Date Written: 10th of November, 2023

Letter #31

I wanted to tell myself that it's all part of the process, but now, I know this isn't what healing feels like.

Date Written: 18th of October, 2023

Letter #28

"You mean something to me, But yours or anyone else's care does not." Such simple, unassuming words Words ordinarily placed that would seem so innocent Yet, they come from you They come from you and that breaks me From you, they come with an unintentional, cruel, agonizing truth The words I hoped to hear one day Those three little words laced in honey so sickly sweet I will never hear them Not in the way I need to, anyway Never in the way I need to Love is not just a feeling It is a deep seated rule that we plead with at night It is a peace encased with care I would live for you, I would die for you I would give it all in a heartbeat But you don't wish for that So I exist amongst separate breaths Quietly, with promise To love is to know the person I see And the person that stands in front of me Despite their shared love of the number 8 Despite their infectious laughter echoing the same chorus Are entirely different beings One of them I will never know Both, I choose to love I helplessly love I unavoidably, inevitably love You are you, and I love you I love you without need for reciprocation I love you with only good will To love is to know I will never see you completely And indulge in what bliss it is to adore the shadows "You mean something to me, But yours or anyone else's care does not." To say that hearing those words All while knowing love stems from care That love is treasuring another's words and being Didn't hurt? I cannot lie. Simply, I love you Eight little letters laced in fiction so densely dreamt Words I wish I could hear spoken from your lips Truthfully, wholly, willingly You and your care mean everything to me. I only wish that I didn't have the sense to know I'm alone

Date Written: 26th of July, 2023

Letter #24

Please rip this heart from within my chest

Just as you carelessly tore your way inside

Begging for mercy, please, let me breathe

My dear, you must be a skilled sadist

I cannot handle another thought of you

Falling seems an apt term for it indeed

Yet you smile brightly, so wholly unaware

As I pull at strings asking how this is fair

Painfully puzzling with no answers to find

Accepting that maybe, just maybe

Between us, peace was never an option

Date Written: 17th of September 2023

Letter #17

Make me talk, make me sing Wash away everything Teeth on skin is the answer Meld me into flickering amber Design my body, change it's shape Run your fingers by my nape Melted through this simple touch Have my knees return to mush Break me, remake me Swear an oath, a loyal devotee As long as morning never comes Let us exist amongst loving hums

Date Written: 2nd of September, 2023