Kristen Applebees - Blog Posts

ANYWAYs PLAY THE HEY GIRLIE GAME IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD

kinda starting to feel like kittencone and kristen aren't going to make out? what's up with that???

we're really going to get a moment of truth next episode because when freshman year kristen died she went to heaven, but daybreak went to hell. freshman year kristen's only problem was trying to convert people, she was never bigoted or hurt anyone so of course she'd get into heaven. daybreak was a hardcore believer in helio but he was a bigot and a part of a cult plot to bring about the apocalypse, so of course he went to hell.

buddy has had some moments that make him seem evil/bigoted and if he was involved knowingly in the rat grinders plot then he'd be going to hell. helio might suck but he doesn't get to bring whoever he wants into heaven and even if he did he wouldn't bring buddy if he'd been plotting to revive ankarna. but if buddy is actually a good kid? if he had the same beliefs as freshman year kristen, if he thought helio loved everyone and didn't think religion was the basis of morality?

the AUDACITY of kristen chilis applebees criticising wolfsong for not being serious enough - MA'AM YOU JUMPED FROM FABIAN'S ROOF ON A SHRIMP MOTORCYCLE INTO A POOL OF TARTAR SAUCE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN MENTION THE RELIGION!!

i CANNOT stress ENOUGH that BRENNAN DIDN'T ACTUALLY MAKE THEM ROLL. THIS JUST HAPPENED

kay, ok, one sec, so, haha, kristen applebees, presumably still in Every Woman cosplay — bootcut wranglers gripping her 270lb-leg-press-PB watermelon-crushing thighs, yellow sensible button up reeking of all dairy ever, each finger CHOKED in rings for no reason — and having donned a cowboy hat filled with like 2 gallons of salsa that is intermittently fed from like a sagging midwest trough, calls steel-orb Littledoggy Girlcollar “milady”, reveals that her 3rd god HAS INDEED died, and then attempts to *SPIDER-MAN* A WEB with NO MAGIC after RUBBING SAID SALSA ON HER FACE, catalyzing the most BUCKWILD 5-PLAYER SQUAD LIFT featuring but not limited to fireworks, a 9-foot tall spider, and YEETING kristen TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCHOOL.

i… *wet cough*, haha, wow! *passes, and not the kind that gets you extra spells*

helio thoughts//tw religion, christianity

i know this is likely an unpopular opinion since a lot of this fandom has religious trauma, but i would kill for some redemption for helio or some positive helioic representation. it'd be just good, complex worldbuilding if it were solely fiction, but since it's so referential to christianity that ally literally says jesus instead of helio on several occasions i think they either have to really differentiate it or maybe add some complexity to the current 'all 'helioics' are bigots, your faith is evil' angle. because in fiction you can do that, but real religions aren't that simple. im not religious myself, but there have been times where i've been in really bad situations and the most welcoming, caring people are pastors. there is a good side to christianity, and in freshman year kristen wasn't a bad person. she believed in all the good things those pastors did, she helped victims of human trafficking, she fought against her family's racism even before she met her friends. her family was horrible and she was indoctrinated into a cult with the harvestmen, but her faith wasn't bad. religious trauma is not inherent to religion, it's abuse that people use religion to justify.

since s1 i have desperately wanted a good character to be introduced who worships helio like kristen did in freshman year with love and acceptance because that's who they believe helio is, and i don't want them to be proven wrong. tracker didn't give up on galicaea after kristen told her what she was like in the astral plane and worked to change her worship, and i think it would be really interesting to see someone like buddy go tracker's direction with helio instead of just rehashing kristen's character arc.

extra courseload is too much for me but killing a god and reviving some ancient force of rage??

im a sick puppy and this excites me.

can't describe the energy ally's bringing this season but i am going to model my personality off it for the rest of the year to see if i can get a new prescription

this has ruined by life because there's no way they'll actually get together and you have made me CRAVE enemies to lovers kipperbees. imagining their wedding rn how dare you do this to me

this is Kristen and kipperlilly to me

(also wow they are very Kristen and fig core. Ex-religious sexually active gay murder sister vs Badass rockstar closed off murder sister)

PALADIN KRISTEN. i will die on this hill.

i don't want kristen to lose her faith entirely. i think back to prompocalypse, talking to the ether the gods get their answers from, and saying into the ether that she cares. she wants a god that cares, not just about her but about all the good people she wishes she could help, because if there's nobody more powerful that cares then it's her responsibility to care for them and she's not a god. she couldn't trust her family to care, couldn't trust her church, couldn't even trust her god, and she had to step up and be the person who cares even though she's just a clumsy kid who got her girlfriend newspaper-copying putty for a joint anniversary/birthday gift.

[and then she makes cassandra, still desperate for that perfect god that she can trust to protect people for her. but cassandra, just like yes, is created and controlled by her and thus entirely dependent on her and her ever-changing ideals. kristen still only trusts herself to do right by people, so the only god she will accept is one that she designs to be just like her and indulge her every phase and that means without her there to decide what the god should be there is no god. there is no morality to a religion that bends to your every will because your actions don't have consequences - cassandra and yes weren't created to be good, just to give power to kristen when she wants it. and that means that all of the responsibility still falls on kristen to be good.]

because the alternative would be being complicit, and kristen cannot rest unless she is doing everything possible that she can to help people. and so she never rests. even doing nothing, she's wandering labyrinths in her head trying to be better and find the answer, and she can't let herself take a break from trying to be better without being plagued by guilt. she can't push let go of the guilt because she's seen first-hand what happens when people don't feel guilt or question themselves.

and in the summer starting junior year she and tracker break up and the guilt becomes unbearable and suddenly she can't remember why she let herself feel it. so she stops feeling guilty. she forgets to heal her friends, she devotes herself to her own body (my faith is mostly physical, tracker had once said, kristen doesn't remember what she meant by that) and she breaks all the promises she made to protect cassandra. she stops caring.

until she sees bucky again. until she sees her parents again. she remembers why she wanted to fight to stop bad things from happening to good people, and more importantly she remembers what happens when you don't question yourself. how mac and donna follow their beliefs blindly and never questioned whether they could be wrong if they could be better. how they promised to love her and left her to suffer, how helio let the people he swore to love suffer, and how she was leaving cassandra to suffer. and she doesn't realise until after that cassandra wanted to help. cassandra was always encouraging kristen to grow the church not just because she couldn't rely on kristen to keep her alive but because she knew kristen couldn't handle the responsibility of keeping her alive on her own.

kristen chose to be a cleric of cassandra because she thought cassandra was good and wanted them to have a religion. it was the only way to revive her, but if she can grow the church then kristen would be free to work on herself with cassandra being free to take care of her, not the other way around. as a paladin kristen could take an oath she will always believe in - an oath to care and love her friends, perhaps - and trust that cassandra's church will still be helping people on a large scale even when kristen needs a break. kristen can get swole and learn to fight and know in her heart that what she's fighting for is right. she can trust that cassandra wouldn't bless her if she didn't deserve it, and in that trust she doesn't have to worry so much about being a perfect person because she knows she's good.

listen. listen. as a pastor kid ex-ministry person who left the toxic religious group they were raised in. it’s not about cassandra being rad or not (she is i really think she is). it’s about whether or not kristen can make peace with what being devout means. if she can take that leap of faith. if she can really settle in on a belief system and ask others to do the same.

i think this arc is gonna be about kristen giving up on cleric and reclassing (my guess on barb) because this is about kristen finally FINALLY giving up on how she was raised. she didn’t need to a different god. she needs to reject, wholly, that lifestyle and figure out the best version of herself and what she needs. maybe she doesn’t need to be a cleric. maybe trying to force herself to be one is perpetuating the harm she escaped. maybe she can step back.

i think this will have HUGE complications. but it really feels like ally is interested in explored why kristen has struggled this whole time with this. maybe she doesn’t want to be a cleric at all.

Remember when you used to be a rascal

clinging till i'm getting sentimental

it's not that cassandra is feeling neglected imo bc kristen is actively rejecting her lmao, but i think there's something to the idea that cassandra is a reflection of kristen. she doesn't act like kristen (not even any previous iteration of kristen) but she does look like kristen and represent a time in kristen's life that she maybe doesn't want to think about, possibly because of a certain someone tattooed on her neck that's not here anymore👀👀

ok ok ok not to uh. get up in weeds about the whole cass and kristen thing but i keep seeing people say like ‘i feel so bad for cassandra’ but an important thing that i feel like we need to remember that brennan has emphasized throughout previous seasons about the gods is that they are the reflection of their followers. cass looks like kristen because they are kristen.

when cass is feeling neglected and shunted aside do we think maybe it’s cuz who kristen actually is is being neglected? they have spent the whole summer trying to save the world, that doesn’t leave time for them to like process what they’ve gone through and who they are so maybe cass feels dejected cuz kristen doesn’t know who she is either

just. food for thought

poor cassandra is being abused 😭'i'll change everything about me so you'll like me more and give you all these cool powers, could you maybe talk to ppl about me so i don't fade out of existence and become the nightmare king again' MY POOR GIRL

Cassandra I would treat you right as your cleric I promise baby just give me a chance

i've said it before and i'll say it again: kristen applebees' character progression in fantasy high from her losing faith in helio was an act of pure rebellion from ally beardsley that brennan did not, in fact, canonically make their god an omniscient animated cob of corn.