Iwaizumi Headcanons - Blog Posts

How long are Haikyuu boys’ dick in inches?

A/N:This has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year lmaooo let me get rid of it

Seijoh Four

Iwaizumi + Oikawa + Hanamaki + Matsukawa

Oikawa’s dick is so pretty. It’s long slender but definitely packs a punch. He is around 7 inches. His dick is so smooth and feel like absolute heaven sliding into you. The tip of his picklocks so pink and pretty especially when its dripping with pre-cum. He always keeps the hair around it short because he likes a neat clean cut. This man has an entire set he uses to shave and trim the hair. He likes to cockwarm your mouth with his dick. He just get a thrill off seeing you hot and ready practically begging him to fuck your mouth. Once he’s fucking into your mouth there’s no stopping him. He wants you to take all 7 inches of him until he’s spurting warm cum down your throat.

Hanamaki’s dick is everything. It’s so pretty and veiny His dick is around 6.5 inches and he definitely knows how to use it. This man could have you shaking with just one stroke. He’s so cocky about his dick because he knows it’s pretty and he knows he can make you cum. This tip of his dick is so thick and pretty, he can fuck you with just the tip and have you creaming.If you’re wondering, yes the drapes match the curtains. Hanamaki definitely doesn’t shave as much as he should but it’s not an unruly mess but, it’s a pink forest down there. He definitely fucks you nice and slow with it because he want you to feel every inch of him. He needs to see the way your eyes roll back every time he dips the tip of his dick inside of you just to tease you because we all know he likes to be a little tease.

Iwaizumi’s dick is so thick and long. This man has a veiny dick that looks so delicious and it will definitely stretch you out. He’s around 7.5 inches. At first he definitely had some unruly hair but Oikawa made him buy trimming tools with his and now he keeps it down to a decent cut. He doesn’t like the bald look. The tip of his dick is so thick and pink and practically always drooling with precut. He’s so thick and long he doesn’t mind having to hold your hips in pace because he knows how hard it can be to take all of him. Don’t expect him to go soft on you though because he shows no mercy, his dick is big and he’ll show you exactly how he puts it to use

Matsukawa’s dick shouldn’t even need an explanation. He’s so thick and big its almost unbearable…almost. This man is around 9 inches maybe more. He is definitely touching the cervix without even being fulling in. He’s so thick and veiny and has god sent sex skills. The way this man can leave you trembling and begging for more without even fully having his dick inside of you is like magic. Matsukawa is cocky because he knows his dick is big and he doesn’t need anyone to tell him that. He is an absolute menace. He likes seeing your face scrunch up when he’s stretching your hole. He likes to make you look at yourself while he fucks you just so you can see how fuck out of it you get because of his dick so of course that means mirror sex.

When He Falls Asleep on You (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m back to my same old spiel of “it’s been a while” and “I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in (insert time) days!” Truth is, I just haven’t had the time to write like I know some of y’all haven’t had the time to read. However, I’m happy to be back, even if it is just for this one post. I hope y’all are doing good, and enjoy!

Word count: 1005

Bokuto Koutarou: 

While his falling asleep on you is usually an accident (considering it’s much easier to admire you while he’s awake), he certainly always makes the best of the situation. 

He nods off and his head slumps to your shoulder and instinctively you want to push him away because you just know him drooling is an inevitability but, no, a sleeping Bokuto is an adorable Bokuto.

He mumbles in his sleep. You’ve learned that from experience.

Black and white hairs tickle your neck but you don’t dare to scratch partly because one of his arms is already wrapped around you locking your own against your sides and partly because waking him would be a crime upon nature. 

It only tickles for a few moments anyway because in a matter of seconds he’s curling in deeper, snuggling his forehead against your throat while his legs clamber into your lap.

It’s awkward. It’s hot. It’s not quite a boyfriend cuddling his girlfriend and more so a koala straddling a tree branch. 

But it’s a classic Bokuto cuddle-bordering-on-suffocation situation so you settle in for what will be an awkward, hot bus ride. 

And eventually you lean your head on his and fall asleep because, eh, why not.

Konoha totally has pictures that he sells to Bokuto later

Tsukishima Kei: 

More often than not, when Tsukishima Kei falls asleep on the bus, he goes full turtle. 

Blond head perched back on the top of the bus seat, headphones around his neck while his mouth hangs open in a soundless snore. This dude is usually conked. 

(He’s learned to sit near the front of the bus lest he risk another session of “What can Kageyama and Tanaka throw into Tsukishima’s mouth?”)

So when his head lolls to the side and rests ever so delicately on the edge of your shoulder, you freeze like a deer in headlights. 

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so don’t you dare screw it up. 

However… his glasses press really hard into the bony part of your shoulder. 

At first, you try to suffer through the pain, taking timed, measured breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. 

Then you contemplate humming to distract yourself, but you drop that strategy the instant he twitches on your first note. 

It’s too much. Come on, there’s no way there isn’t a bruise there by now!

The constant digging of plastic into your bone is insufferable at this point. You needed to eradicate the problem if this rare event was to continue.

You inch your right hand up ever so slowly, keeping your breathing steady so as to not frighten the flighty creature resting upon you. 

You turn your head just a touch and your chin brushes the hair atop his head, but he doesn’t disturb one bit at the slight tousle--thank God.

With two pinching fingers you grab the frames and remove them with the delicate touch of butterfly wings. 

Almost there… almost… have them...

Then Tsukishima stirs. 

“Screw it.” You yank the glasses away and drop them into your lap before returning your hand to the side of his face. 

“YN, what are you-” he cuts off in a grunt as you shove his head back onto your shoulder. 

“Shhhh.”

“YN.” His voice is muffled from his face being smushed into your shirt.

“Shhhh. Don’t ruin it.”

“YN-”

“Escape is futile.” You pat his cheek as the rest of his body squirms like a fish caught in a net. “Accept your fate, Tsukki.”

Iwaizumi Hajime: 

Sticky. Sweaty. Warm. 

You have no doubt that as soon as Iwaizumi wakes up, you will have to peel your shirt from his face like a sticker. 

But you figure he deserves the rest. He played a great game and is understandably worn out. 

And you’d be damned if you didn’t want to play pillow for him from time to time. 

No, he’s not your boyfriend, but you certainly wish he was. 

One of his hands fell onto your thigh the second he drifted off and your own hovers over it, an eagle waiting to land. 

God, he’s so warm. Like a personal heater. The bus was pretty cold too considering Iwaizumi had the bright idea of leaving your seat’s window open for whatever reason. 

The first time you complained about the cold, he offered you his jacket. However, two seconds after his offer your cheeks were burning enough to warm the rest of your body so refused. 

And now here you were, almost losing consciousness yourself on account of how comfortable you’d grown in this position. 

A nap… surely a nap wouldn’t hurt. 

Today’s game had asked for a five a.m. arrival at the school, one seven hour bus ride down to the opponent, and one returning. It was understandable that you were exhausted yourself. 

The eagle landed and your drooping eyes slipped closed. Iwaizumi’s hair--so soft--felt like the perfect cushion as you slipped into warm, deep sleep. 

The soft pressure on Iwaizumi’s head allowed for a small smile to grow on his face. 

Fucking finally.

Just one eye peered open and though he couldn’t see much, your hand resting flat on his just so happened to be the perfect sight. 

He waited until your breathing truly evened out before moving, slowly flipping his hand palm up and intertwining your fingers between his. 

His eyes began to blur once more and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze before giving in to the tiredness completely, grinning at the soft sigh you released. 

Yes. Finally.

When He’s Your Fellow Actor (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

BNHA Version

A/N: Good Lordy I went off on Yamaguchi’s… Goddamn. Anyways, I know I haven’t been active like at all lately, but I have nothing new to tell you. Life has just been… hectic lately. Nothing new. Anyways, let’s just call this a seriously late celebration for 800 followers! Seriously, thank you all so much, and I hope you enjoy these headcanons as a show of gratitude!

Word count: 1423

Iwaizumi Hajime: 

The “Hero-Villain but you’re a couple in real life” trope.

You both met and got together while filming the show.

Iwa’s the hero, you’re the villain

The fans of the show totally shipped you two from the first episode, but y’all were really new and awkward around each other at that point in time. 

Then you both saw all the ship names and edits and were like damn we look hot together “Eh, let’s give it a shot.”

Cut to y’all falling in love and accidentally giving each other lovey-dovey eyes during filming (the directors have to reshoot the scenes because “You’re supposed to hate each other, come on guys!!”)

Yes, yes, there is a scene where you have to fight each other. 

You legitimately punch Iwaizumi smack dab in the face on accident and freak the fuck out.

“OH FUCK, HAJIME ARE YOU ALIVE?!”

Yeah, it hurt like a bitch, but he sees how concerned you are and does that tough guy thing where he pretends like it was nothing. 

“Nah, I’m fine.” When the fuck did you get so strong?!

You know he’s lying, so you capture his face in your palms and kiss his cheek tenderly. 

“Does it feel better now?” 

Oh helllll yeah. “Mmm, not really. Try again.” 

*smooch*

“It still kinda hurts. Another.”

*smooch* 

“Better. One more.”

Just as you lean in to give him one last peck, he grabs your chin and turns you to face him head on before capturing your lips in a deep kiss. 

You’re both lost in the feeling of each other and Iwaizumi can barely feel the pain on his face anymore (but he’s totally gonna use this little incident against you from now on).

“Hey guys, we’re still shooting a scene you know.” 

It’s delayed because both your lips are puffy and you both look blissed out.

Long story short, after plenty of messages, letters, and tweets from fans, the show makes your character turn good so y’all can become a couple in the show as well. (hehe, crowd-pleasers. Ya gotta love ‘em.)

That blooper went viral btw.

Kuroo Tetsurou: 

The “best friends on and off the stage” trope.

First of all, the fucking inside jokes you two have. 

Yeah yeah, the fans shipped you and all that crap, but you two were just friends. 

Pfft, yeah right.

Neither of you are the main character, but your wild actions and sarcastic comments on screen just made the audiences fall in love. 

The chemistry between you two and the easy flow of conversation made people believe in true, destined love. 

All the haughty taughty fans are like “Yeah they’re totally great together but nobody should pressure them into dating otherwise it’ll ruin their relationship uwu!!🥺🥺💔💔” (then these fuckers turn around and write fanfiction like it’s nobody’s business.)

You were legit friends, but the way people viewed you was beginning to make things awkward.

“Haha, here’s another tweet about how we should be together.” Kuroo’s nervously laughing while watching your facial expression for the tiniest sign that you liked it as much as he did while looking at his phone.

“Damn, that’s funny.” You laugh is just as artificially forced and Kuroo observes your face with wide, amazed eyes like Oop, there it is.

I mean, what did you expect? You two have been friends for years, of course he can read you like a book. A book he never wants to put down. Ever. 

“Wouldn’t it be funny if the writers took this seriously and actually made us a coup-”

He interrupts your anxious rambling with a kiss. 

It’s just a quick peck, and you gasp in surprise after it happens. Then you smile softly and pull him back in for more. 

Not even a month later, it’s official. You two were caught making out in a toilet paper fort at Walmart by fans. (I honestly don’t know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

ANYWAYS, after you two are outed and shizz, you don’t even care to hide your love, just being connected to each other by the hip everywhere y’all go when you’re not shooting.

I know what you’re thinking, and you’re absolutely right. Kuroo does interrupt your scenes by sprinting in like a maniac on the loose and slapping a kiss smack dab on your lips while the cameras are still rolling. 

(It drives the directors up the walls, but the fans love it.)

Yamaguchi Tadashi (this one is umm... a lil 🥵, and long):

The “couple on the show but awkwardly have a crush on each other in real life” trope. 

Even though your relationship is a little rocky in real life, this just makes your capability for passion on the screen even larger. 

You both make up for the uncomfortableness behind the cameras when they’re rolling. 

Firstly, there’s a script, so neither of you are forced to think on your feet. 

Secondly, you’re both experienced actors. But that doesn’t mean you’re great people-people in real life. 

Your characters started as two teens falling in love in high school, then moving on to college together. 

This required a lot of chemistry between the two of you, but it was hard to have it both on and off the set, so you settled for doing your jobs best. 

Of course, when the fans found out you two were all blushy and shy around each other in real life, they went berserk.

It was all like: *posts a picture of you and Yamaguchi blushing* “Look at these two fucking cinnamon rolls🥺 They’re so cute together in (the show), but look how shy these nerds are together in real life. How???”

Yeah, so umm, y’all were feelin’ the pressure. 

Then came the scene. 

Of course, you two had kiss scenes before. With a storyline that deep, of course that was gonna happen. 

But the writers really whammied you two with this one. 

It was a dirty scene 👀

Of course the directors were gonna do that thing where they had architecture and other shit cover up the no-no squares, but still!

You kept telling yourself you were a professional and that you could do this no biggie. But umm…

Jesus FUCK!

Who’d’ve thought Yamaguchi would be that fucking bUiLt.

You distantly remember him saying something about playing volleyball, but GodDAMN

So yeah, y’all get it on. 

First he kisses you, as instructed. 

Then he lays you down on the bed gently, as instructed. 

Then he unclips your bra, as instructed.

Then his pupils flare,... 

Rebellion Located.

His hands crawl up your sides as he begins to nibble on your lip.

Your hands tangle into his olive-colored tufts, tugging and pulling as he grunts into your mouth. 

His long fingers run over your skin in all the right places, and you want more.

“More, Tadashi.”

“CUT!”

The director hops out of his chair and calls for a break. Other workers begin to bumble around the set, adjusting lighting for the next scene, rearranging objects, and writing on clipboards. 

The world around you is suddenly spinning while you’re still trapped in the moment. The fake moment. 

Yamaguchi still hovers over you, looking just as frazzled as you felt. 

For a second he leans closer to your face once more, then he pulls away like you burned him. 

He’s rubbing the back of his neck and blushing, and your cheeks are on fire. 

“Well that was um…”

“Yeah,” you nod in agreement breathlessly. 

Suddenly, he gets up and hands you your previously flung bra and shirt, averting his gaze while you redress. 

While his back faces you, he hesitantly says your name.

“Yeah?”

“D-do you want to g-go on a date sometime?”

… 

Safe to say, months later you two were revealed as a couple, just as the episode aired. 

It didn’t take long for the Sherlock Holmes of your fanbases to put two and two together and figure out just how the relationship went from 0-100 in a matter of days. 

… Yeah, you two will never live that down. Everyone shoves it in your faces any chance they get. But at least they all love you together!

Thinking of Iwaizumi coming home after a day of training and fucking you to sleep with his big cock <3

my college experience thus far!

a/n: have fun experiencing college through my eyes, major will not be specified! will definitely be a stem major though in certain scenarios

characters: haikyuu and genshin x gn! reader ; college au with iwaizumi, cyno, kuroo, tooru

warnings: mentions of rejection, these will vary in size because some of the men are not very present in my life anymore nor had a huge interaction (very short hcs because i do not interact enough with others and it shows… kidding. sorta LMAO.)

tooru - the high school best friend

it wasn’t like you guys planned to kiss while watching anime on a saturday night during hanging out

you weren’t a rebound either for his last girlfriend who decided that he prioritized volleyball over him

he did his best to make sure that your friendship was his main priority which is why he always had spoiled you in silly ways, even his parents and family members took such a liking to you

you were rather enjoyable and you pushed tooru to focus on his grades but you never forced him into anything that he was not ready for

which leads back to this moment where you’re outside of your car, not expecting the night to go as it did

you guys ended up having a brief talk before a call from your parents about your curfew

tooru never ended up going to college but he supported your decision to go and let you study with him while he worked on his career for volleyball

“are you sure that you’re ready for a relationship again, tooru?”

and with a quick tilt of his head and a slight smirk as he whispered, “have i ever steered you wrong, y/n?” he smiled as he closed the distance between your lips again before opening your car door, “see you tomorrow.”

iwaizumi - your first college best friend

you two had gotten paired up with two other individuals in your group, it was all your first class together in college. everything is new and different, jetlag included for some (iwaizumi)

he ended up falling asleep and missing an 8 am class, big mistake for this huge group project that you all had made. luckily, you got his instagram account.

it was surprisingly empty on his account so you could not figure out much about him but he had responded later on in the evening to your surprise which blossomed a very close bond between the two of you…

though only just being friends could not only be enough for you, he was everything that you could ever imagine and more as a partner.

after thinking on it enough, one day you decided to tell him how you feel to see if it had been reciprocated.

sure enough, iwaizumi needed time... and you were okay with that. you knew giving him time would be what was best for you both. luckily your friendship had survived it.

after enough time, he finally approached you in person and asked if you would like to hang out and walk around campus.

and eventually, he asked you out to dinner to your favorite restaurant on campus… the food court where you both made it official.

kuroo- we have chemistry together

this guy…

you met him in your chemistry lab together, he made a small comment in your direction about titrations since you could not get the water to be a light pink color. he still wore this devilish smirk on his face as he looked in your direction.

clearly he was messing with you, though bokuto also had been in for it as well… that poor guy had to deal with kuroo constantly.

he managed to make you laugh though on several occasions. you both eventually ended up studying together because of this, it was never intentional how you fell for him.

boy was it a slow play of his, several semesters had passed and you two had several occasions where he eventually started to play a game to see when you would text back since you had been so busy with work yourself.

eventually, you both started to text more and more…

random conversations would come up like “is it gay if you kiss the homies goodnight when they wear socks but you don’t?”

you managed to morph yourself into his friend group, getting all their approval. somehow, they planned to get you two together.

your new friends and you had managed to get a table at a restaurant for ramen. it was rather delicious and the noodles tasted fresh before he jokingly asked you what is the most cliche date ever. though, what you didn’t realize — was he was actually asking you out…

“let’s go to the aquarium, i can tell you the chemistry of how things work there. so how about it?”

dumbfounded. all you could say was sure before waiting for a few other hangouts before your eventual ‘date’. you needed confirmation so you didn’t accidentally find yourself falling for a man who didn’t love you back.

“kuroo… are you asking me out on an actual date?”

“do you want it to be?” there was no hesitation in his words as he picked out another awful outfit for your guys’ date. it would be rather ridiculous to be this dressed up for an aquarium.

and that’s how you managed to get your first kiss stolen.

cyno - a pokemon nerd

you two had met in your recent physics class, you both had failed miserably on your first exam.

“did you get higher than a 0.3?”

“no…”

did anybody??? no. the average was a 0.5 out of 2, a solid 25%! gross.

this exam led you two to talk more, you eventually found out how big of a closeted nerd he was. he tried his best to sound cool in front of you but he forgot about all of that when you mentioned the words ‘pokemon tcg’.

you opened up a can of worms that you hadn’t even realized existed at all… not that you weren’t a fan!

trading card games were not your forte though… you tried your best to get an understanding of how to play, he rated your deck and everything — trying to help you get a sense of the game.

eventually, you guys spent every day after the lecture together. you guys got lunch and you both were talking while playing.

though, cyno couldn’t take it anymore. he needed to call you, he needed to talk. he just needed somebody to hear him out

or so you thought…

he just needed you to hear him out.

“y/n, i can’t shake this feeling that you’re meant to be my player two. there’s something here and i want to pursue it with you, if you’ll let us.”

screaming, literally screaming internally. was he that sleepy? but you heard correctly.

“y/n? did i lose you? was that too forward?” he wanted to make a pun to stop the awkward tension until he heard you speak up.

“how could i cy-no when i feel the same?” you guys were both laughing before you got in your car and started driving to him as you guys called. a simple ice cream date, he said… yet all of these puns about ice cream were NOT on the agenda from what you thought it would be…

“my favorite day of the week is sunday. do you get it? it’s because-”

“you can have sundaes? it always makes me melt to be with you.” he was caught off guard.

perhaps it was an (n)ice day for you both…

melukonova, 2023. 𓂃 ☄︎

Always Forever — Hajime Iwaizumi

summary: A lot can happen in a year, and you don’t understand that until you meet Iwaizumi.

warnings: timeskip! cursing, fluff to angst, no pronouns mentioned, I tried to make it as gender neutral as possible but if it doesn’t sound as such pls lmk, sexual content (only for a moment, oral lol), 16+ only pls, hope you enjoy it

genre: fluff & angst all in one (a pinch of smut)

word count: 2.7k

a/n: i had a dream abt the first month and it turned into a work that I spent too long working on lmao, hope you enjoy it <3

     It's August when you and Iwaizumi cross paths for the first time.

You've a scowl on your face as you walk to your university's office to file a complaint about your awful professor. He had said something too ignorant that pissed you off; seeing how Hajime visibly scoffed at the comment let you know you weren't the only one.

"Thanks," you mumble out when someone holds the door open for you. Your eyes meet those of Hajime's. His olive eyes gaze at you curiously, silently asking if you were doing the same as him.

You give him a soft frown, as if to say yes, and he offers one back.

After the two of you file your respective complaints, you part your separate ways, but not before you offer a nod — an understanding, an agreement, an alliance.

     It's September when you start to take notice at how Hajime towers over most people, what with his impressive stature, and how broad his shoulders are with muscular arms to match. He was tan and fit, and you decided that he was quite the eye-candy.

Still, you don't make a move on him, other than occasionally allowing yourself to appreciate a handsome man when you saw one. After all, Hajime just seems out of your league, if league's were a thing.

It's not that you think of yourself as the most revolting thing to have walked the earth (not all the time, at least), but it would be a lie to say you don't notice how your classmates gawk at Iwaizumi like a piece of meat.

     Not to mention that Hajime has an impressive resting bitch face.

     It seems as if all the notions you once heard — or believe yourself — about Hajime Iwaizumi become increasingly more important to you. In fact, anything dealing with him starts to stand out to you like a blinking red light.

Suddenly, it's as if the blinking red light shatters when he walks over to you one day after class and asks if he could borrow your notes.

It's October when find out Hajime, in all his buff, resting bitch face glory, is quite friendly. October consists of him making multiple appearances in the following weeks of your life.

     He starts walking you to your next class, having extra time himself. The two of you would talk about your days, your plans, your friends. You discover things about Hajime, like his love for volleyball and his best friends back in Japan and in Argentina.

You enjoy many aspects of Hajime Iwaizumi, from his sense of humor to his diction and spiky hair to even his way of cursing. He interests you so much that a large of part of you wants more than just silly comments about your professor.

     Sometimes he would even go as far as walking you back to your car, which had quickly become a part of your day that you looked forward to. The sun would set after your class, leaving the sky with an apricot hue and you with another opportunity to stare at the olive eyes that seemed to leave you absolutely scorched when met with yours.

How could you resist him?

Things between you only grow even further when he starts inviting you to places. The first had been with a group of friends to have dinner, and then it was just him and you going out for brunch.

The next thing you know, you and Hajime show up to a Halloween party in coordinating costumes as you try to find something to look at other than the blush on his face when someone asks how long the two of you have been dating.

It's November when Hajime kisses you outside your car. His lips are soft against yours. It's everything you hoped it would be, and before you can fall even further into him, he pulls away from you quickly.

"I'll be gone in a year." Hajime warns quietly, olive eyes gazing at you intently. His breath is warm against your skin, lips hovering over yours. "That's all we have."

     "That's all I need." you tell him and close the distance between you.

It's a decision made with haste, but one without regret. Perhaps you don't think all the factors of being with Hajime carefully enough, but all you know is that youve never wanted anything more than him.

It's December when you realize you how cold winter truly is. Maybe it's because spending the holiday as an adult is still foreign to you, or maybe it's because you've never felt an absence as strongly as you did Hajime's.

      You don't realize how much you adore him until he returns to Japan for the holiday to visit his family. It's an unwelcome feeling that follows you around for the next 3 weeks of his absence, and you understand that there would be a time when Hajime wouldn't come back to you.

Hajime and you have multiple phone calls through the following days. Most of them consist of one of you heading to bed and the other barely waking up. He calls you his own personal alarm clock when you call him one evening, which sends a giddy feeling your way as strange as it may sound.

It's January when you get Hajime to strip his clothes and jump into a freezing lake with you. Being with him is nice, exciting. Despite him being reliable, honest, and considerate, there's never a dull day with him.

He takes you out for breakfast at 4 in the morning just because he likes watching you try and fail at staying awake. He indulges your desire to pretend break-up at a store just to give the employees something to talk about.

You convince him to get a tattoo of Mickey Mouse at 8 in the morning after a long night of binge-watching Disney movies. You manage to get him to take one (1) anger management class out of spite of losing an argument.

     It's February when you figure out that his dominance doesn't waiver behind closed doors. Hajime, under all his polite and hardworking character, is a fucking menace who keeps you up all night to pull every ounce of pleasure from you.

Your sweet, considerate Hajime, who used to ask before even thinking of kissing you, who used to turn red at seeing your shirt ride up when you removed your sweater, uses his image as a humble man to hide the fact that he would take as much as he could get from you, take as much as you let him.

You find this out when one thing leads to another, and after a night of drinking Hajime's head is buried between your thighs like he was meant to be there. He's efficient and agonizingly slow, as if to savor the moment, to savor you. And, sometimes you have to beg him to move, to do something, anything.

“I like when you beg.” he says, leaving a kiss on the inside of your thigh. “You look pretty when you do.”

     It doesn't take long for him to adjust to your body, to know what gets you flustered and hot, what makes you squirm under him, what makes you scream his name.

     You didn't know it was humanly possible to feel so good, but it's not the first time Hajime seems to have defied your perception of reality.

It's March when you're on Cloud 9 where no one else can reach. Hajime and you are attached by the hip, always laughing at something — maybe at each other — or at the park feeding bread to ducks, or just anywhere with each other.

     Being with Hajime is still new for you. The feelings of euphoria you feel with him's something you've never experienced before. His way of talking, his way of walking, his way of sitting and studying makes you feel heavy.

You've never felt this way for someone. His presence consumes you. You feel like you won't be able to function without him. The thought of anyone with who can hold that much power over you scares the living shit out of you.

Your friends warn you that he's a bad influence, that you're better off without him in the end. Sometimes you think they're right, but even if Hajime isn't forever, you can't forgive yourself for passing by the opportunity to know him, to love him.

Even if Hajime is a bad influence on you, you don't care because you'll cherish anything he gives you — good or bad. And, after all, a year is all you have.

It's April when Hajime wags a finger in your face and says, "Hey, don't say I didn't warn you." He says it in retaliation of you losing at cup pong after he tells you he’s never lost a game, and certainly not in the way you take it initially.

You roll your eyes with a grin, not bothering to give a damn that you lost. You get to see his smile, after all. “How could I forget?" If he notices how the light in your eyes dims, the way your face falters the slightest, he doesn't mention it.

The truth is — how can you? How can you fail to recognize the dark feeling of him leaving you forever? It's in the agreement in bold letters. Hajime's departure from your life is as inevitable as the seasons changing.

It was probably a horrible idea to have ever even gotten involved with him, but you love him. God, you love him. And, if you absolutely had to get your heart crushed by someone, you choose Hajime Iwaizumi to do it.

You know he feels it, too. He kisses you fast now, hard and messy, meeting the corner of your lips instead. He kisses you like you're his only source of oxygen in outer space.

You can feel it in the way he fucks you, sloppy and erratic and rough. Snapping his hips into you, plowing into you like his life depends on it. Like it's the last time.

And, you can't help but think one day it will be.

It's May when reality sets in. Your relationship surpasses what it used to be, and it feels like you'll die if you aren't with Hajime, if you waste even a minute of your time left together.

Desperate. That's the word. You and Hajime become desperate, living off each other like addicts. It's like thinking the sun would stay forever when you know the moon is bound to return.

     You don't mind that the both of you are fighting a battle none of you will win. You don't care that you both look pathetic. Because you're in love with him.

You can't ask him to stay, and he can't ask you to go back with him. It's selfish to ask, and even more selfish to expect the answer you want to hear. Love makes people blind to reality, and neither of you have ever been an exception to that.

And, there's fights about it. About why a year together isn't enough. About how it would never be enough. About why he even considered giving you borrowed time when you would have to pay the price in the end.

Hajime's definitely the angrier of the two of you — he always has been. Though, his rage has never been directed toward you. It doesn't take long for the both of you to realize fighting is futile in some situations.

It's June when you throw Hajime a birthday party. It's nothing big, just a few of his friends and yours in your decorated apartment. You think you know him well enough, but that idea shatters when 3 people walk through your door.

Hanamaki, Mattsun, and Oikawa are unlike any other people you've met. You thought you and Hajime had fun banter, but after meeting his friends you question your ability.

They bring out a different side of Hajime, one where all he does is scold them, where he's red in the face, one you think he likes. It’s a side of him you can't help but laugh at.

"I’m glad they came." you tell him at 6 in the morning when all the guests have gone home, with the exception of the 3 idiots who take shelter camped out in your small, but homey, living room. “I like them.”

Hajime snorts, finally getting into your bed after the eventful day. You open your arms, and he wastes no time in finding his place on your chest, nestling into you. A perfect fit.

    "They're annoying. Don't even get me started."

You rub his back with a sleepy smile, taking notice of the shiver only you can pull out of him. "I think they're funny." you say to him. "I like their banter."

"Of course you do." Hajime chuckles, disguising his laughter with a scowl. You've gotten used to that habit of his. "Idiots can't help but band together, you know."

You laugh. "No wonder you're friends with them."

“Yeah, alright.” he scoffs sarcastically, admitting defeat. "I’d tell you to go to sleep, but that’s if you can.”

You quirk a brow and tilt your head to him. “What’s that mean?”

“Mattsun snores like there’s no tomorrow.” he replies causally, stifling a yawn.

“Must’ve picked it up from you.” you comment, earning a poke to your stomach in retaliation.

“If you manage to get some sleep, you’d better be ready for Hanamaki’s awful singing in the morning.” Hajime warns. He says it lovingly, and you think it’s the only way he knows how. “And, watch out for Shittykawa.”

You shut your eyes. “Why?”

“He’s a bitch in the mornings.”

It's July when Hajime spends the summer by your side, doing whatever the hell you feel like. Going to the park and reading books under a tree. Going to the beach to get sunburnt and buying ice cream after to compensate. Going to the library just to make out.

Conversation about what he would do back in Japan is a common topic. You welcome it with a sad smile. What else are you to do? Beg him to stay the last minute?

You cherish your time with Hajime. You always would. But, you won't hold him back. Not when he's meant for such greatness. The fall comes around again, just as you knew it would, just as you feared it would.

It's the day of his departure when you promise yourself you won't cry and make it worse than it has to be for him. You do exceptionally well, but when Hajime refuses to let you out of his arms, things become a whole lot harder.

     You try to burn the soft thumping of his heartbeat into your memory. You don't want to forget his touch, his smell, his laugh. You don't want to forget anything.

“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?” he murmurs against your head, rubbing your back in circles. There’s no malice in his voice when he asks, but your heart still aches at the sound.

“For the same reason you didn’t ask me to go.” you say, shutting your eyes as to not let your tears fall. “How could I ask more of you when you wasted your last year to be with me when you could’ve been somewhere else, anywhere else?”

He’s quiet a moment.

You think there’s nothing left to say. It’s never been a matter of what’s right or wrong, after all. Sometimes as much as you desperately want one, there’s no correct answer to things, and you’re okay with that.

He gave you what little time he had left, and you took it gratefully. Even if you would be left stranded in an airport with tears in your eyes and have to drive yourself back to the apartment where you had built so many memories with him, you would make that decision again and again and again if it meant you had him for even 10 minutes more.

Hajime calls your name, urging you to look at him.

You pull back slightly to gaze at him. “What is it?”

His lips meet yours. The kiss is different from the others. It’s gentle and soft and slow. His hand travels up your back, pressing you into his sculpted chest. It leaves your body feeling warm and your heart beating faster than before.

Hajime pulls back after some time, gazing at you with a soft smile and tears in his olive eyes. “I didn’t waste a thing.”

note: would’ve named it 365 days if it wasn’t for that shower & boat scene 😟

till we meet again | iwaoi

iwaoi hanahaki disease au!!

oikawa caught the hanahaki disease as he slowly discovers his love for iwaizumi. while in the middle of a late night call with one another, oikawa started coughing up petals and blood. iwaizumi, who thought that oikawa was just sick brushed it off as him just having a bad cough. later on, iwaizumi had figured out while visiting oikawa one day, that it was not just a bad cough that night that they were having a late night call. it was the hanahaki disease, that he did not believe in had happened to his very best friend. the friend that he grew up with.

will oikawa be getting the surgery and live a sad, unlovable life, or will he suffer his last weeks seeing his best friend fall in love with the manager of seijoh?

!! cw, read before continuing !! : major character death, heavy angst, mentions of blood, potential character death, cursing, hallucinations, mix of lower case and upper case, incorrect punctuations

word count : 4.6k

oikawa huffed, fishing out his phone from his pockets as he impatiently waited for his friend to answer his messages. he was waiting at the front of the school gates, he remembered he promised to iwaizumi that he would wait for him in front of the school gates so they could walk to class together, but it seems that he was running a bit late.

he was waiting for roughly 15 minutes, his legs starting to give up on him for standing so long. he groaned, moving to get his phone from his pockets again to call iwaizumi, but stopped when he saw a figure walking in the distance.

his eyes lit up, head snapping in iwaizumi's direction to wave and greet him. iwaizumi rolled his eyes, but raised a hand and waved back. oikawa was about to call out to iwaizumi, but the words fell short on his tongue as he watched seijoh's volleyball team manager approach iwaizumi. his huge grin had calmed down to a tight lipped smile, a smile that won't reach his eyes no matter how he tries as he watched them interact.

they chat for a few minutes, slowly making their way to oikawa.

by the time they're reach him, his smile had fully went and gone. his eyes didn't shine as they did earlier as he turned away from them and faced the school, the cracks of the walls seemingly much more interesting than whatever they were talking about.

oikawa started staring off to space, not being able to hear anything around him as he got lost in his own mind.

"oh, oikawa-san! i didn't see you there!" oikawa snapped out of his trance. where was he again? he let his eyes wander for a short while as they landed on the girl in front of him. oh. right. school.

"yeah haha hi" he awkwardly muttered, subconsciously letting his hand rest on the back of his neck.

iwaizumi and the manager chatted for a few more minutes, before they finally said their goodbyes and walked away from each other.

'finally, i was getting bored' oikawa thought monotonously, looking back to iwaizumi who had hearts in his eyes.

oikawa furrowed his eyebrows. what's so special about a girl? i mean, he gets it if it's his mom, or sister, or cousin but? he doesnt get it if they're just a schoolmate.

oikawa heaved a small cough, covering his mouth with his hand as he did so. when he lifted his hand back up there was a pink petal. it looked like a hydrangea petal. he remembered a small conversation that he and iwaizumi had a few years back.

"hey iwa-chan, what's your favorite flower?"

"ha? what, are you gonna get me flowers for my grave or something? i'm not dead yet loserkawa"

"what- no i'm not! i'm just asking because i'm curious! jeez mean iwa-chan." oikawa frowned, rubbing the spot where iwaizumi had hit him

iwaizumi thought for a bit, looking up at the ceiling as he does so.

"well, i suppose i like hydrangea flowers"

"the pink one?" oikawa tilted his head to the side, i curious glint in his eyes.

iwaizumi confirmed that by nodding. 

he wondered where the petal came from. did it fall from a tree? he shrugged it off, nudging iwaizumi's arm as he started walking towards the school. iwaizumi blinked, shaking off his trance, his head snapped towards oikawa, a pink tint to his cheeks. 

"oi! what was that for, shittykawa?!"

oikawa laughed, starting to jog towards the school doors.

"i can see the hearts in your eyes whenever you talk to manager-chan. you like her, don't you, iwa-chan??" oikawa teased as he saw the irk mark on iwaizumi's head grow. he didn't like admitting it, or even acknowledging it, but he knew that iwaizumi, did in fact like their volleyball teams manager. he has talked about her a few times, mentioned her name that even oikawa didn't have the time or care to even remember of.

his smile faltered once more. but when he saw iwaizumi coming at him full charge his grin went back, starting to run away from the devil like iwaizumi.

"damn you shittykawa i told you not to say that outloud!!" oikawa laughed, a little squeak coming out of the end as he tries to escape iwaizumi.

ah, what a peaceful life it is. 

a few weeks later, exams was just right around the corner, pulling at every students heads and giving them a headache. oikawa was no different.

although he did seem smart, which he was, he just wasn't keen in a few subjects.

luckily, iwaizumi liked the subjects oikawa loathed, so he asked if iwaizumi could help him in those subjects, exchanging agedashi tofu or grilled mackerel pike for the help.

iwaizumi agreed, acting all grumpy as oikawa called him through discord.

"yahoo iwa-chan!" iwaizumi grumbled a small greeting, oikawa hearing a bit of shuffling and pages turning.

oikawa chuckled.

"oi, what are you laughing at?"

"it's just the way you act all grumpy about teaching me, but i know you love teaching me cause i'm just so irresistible, arent i iwa-chan?"

"yeah, so irresistibly annoying"

"hey! mean iwa-chan!" oikawa huffed, taking out his notebooks from his bag.

he heard iwaizumi chuckle through his headset, and he smiled.

"so what do you not understand in ap history?"

"uhm, everything?"

"tch, expected from a dumbass like you"

"hey! rude! i'm not a dumbass!" oikawa coughed. petals flowing through his mouth. what was happening?

"oh come on, just admit it loserkawa" iwaizumi chuckled. iwaizumi continued to look through his notebook, not minding how oikawa was coughing so much.

"oi, 'kawa, drink some water dumbass!" iwaizumi half muttered, trying to focus on reading the contents of his notebook.

when the coughing continued, iwaizumi frowned, furrowing his eyebrows and looking up from his notebook to stare at his computer.

"hey, shittykawa, are you okay?" iwaizumi's voice was laced with concern for his friend, as he closed his notebook and placed it on his study table.

there were a few more coughs, before oikawa weakly answered;

"i'll be alright iwa-chan, don't worry."

"are you sure? you're coughing pretty bad."

"yeah, i think i just caught a cold."

"well, alright then... if something happens to you tell me immediately, if you don't i'll beat you up."

oikawa let out a small chuckle.

"i'll make sure of that iwa-chan."

now, in any other situation, that would have made oikawa's heart flutter, and his stomach burst with butterflies, but in this situation, he didn't think he could feel that at the moment. his head was aching, not because of studying, hell, he hasn't even started studying yet, but because of coughing so much in a short amount of time.

his throat felt dry, sticky with blood and itchy from small thorns. his study desk was littered with small petals of hydrangea flowers, a few thorns sticking out. his eyes felt droopy and tired all of a sudden, as if he was ready to pass out.

he shook his head.

'i can study tomorrow early in the morning' he thought to himself as he grabbed a bottle of water from his study desk. he drank a few gulps, his face scrunching up in pain as he felt the thorns scratch at his throat.

"hey, iwa-chan, is it fine if we just study tomorrow early in the morning? i'm feeling kinda tired now"

"wha- i dont think you haven't even studie-"

"yes? okay, thank you iwa-chan. i'll see you tomorrow" oikawa hurriedly left the call, as to avoid any questions or remarks from iwaizumi.

a few seconds later, a faint, calm ding ringed through his room. he peeled his eyes open to look at his computer.

iwa-chan! ʕ￫ᴥ￩ʔ (sent at 12:52 AM, February 25th)

[oi, get some rest. you don't need to study early in the morning, just try to remember what you can and write it down. drink water before you go to bed lazykawa. goodnight.]

the message read. oikawa smiled faintly, glancing at his dirty study desk.

"i'll sleep in a bit. for now, i have to clean this mess.." oikawa muttered, standing up and scooping the petals in his arms. this is going to be a pain.

by the time the exam days have ended, oikawa was exhausted. there were bags under his eyes, and his coughing was getting worse. iwaizumi didn't show it, but he worried for his friend.

"oi, oikawa! have you eaten yet?" oikawa stopped in his tracks, his head slowly turning to iwaizumi.

"uhm, no? why? is it lunch yet?"

"dumbass, what do you mean 'is it lunch yet'?! didnt you hear the bell ring?" oikawa blinked. the bell rung?

oikawa squinted his eyes and slowly shook his head.

iwaizumi sighed. 'how much sleep has this dumbass been getting? 2 hours?' he thought, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"sorry iwaizumi. i just have not been feeling well these past few days." oikawa smiled up at him tiredly.

iwaizumi was stunned. 'iwaizumi?' he thought, surprised. the name almost felt foreign to hear, even though it was the name he was born with, the name that almost everyone has called him with.

it felt weird to hear, because oikawa had only called him that when they first met. iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows.

"iwaizumi?" he parroted his thoughts, looking oikawa in the eyes as if he could see right through him.

"what, isn't that your name?"

"well, it is, but....you never call me iwaizumi. it's always iwa-chan or something" iwaizumi had muttered, tapping his knuckles on oikawa's shared table. oikawa smiled.

"aweeee, is iwa-chan sad that i don't call him iwa-chan anymore?" oikawa chuckled, lazily hooking his head on his hand to rest for as he gazed up at iwaizumi.

"wha- are you dumb?! i was just worried about you, you asshole!" iwaizumi raged, snapping at oikawa.

oikawa let out a weak, hearty laugh. 

“yeah, i know."

it had been 2 long weeks. the petals have grown to be half of the hydrangea, the thorns bigger than before, and there started to be much more blood then the first few times he'd cough up petals. iwaizumi had been checking on oikawa almost everyday, sending him messages, calls, and voice mails. all that iwaizumi knew of oikawa's situation was that oikawa was getting sicker as the days went.

he felt like his brain was rotting, slowly turning to nothing but dust.

oikawa had have this happen happen to him before, the feeling of waves of tiredness constantly crashing down his body, his brain felt like it was melting, his legs felt like jelly, his head spinning, making his head hurt like hell.

he scratched at his throat, and hissed when he itched it for a moment too long. his room was a mess. petals scattered around with the occasional blood, and a few thorns stuck to some of the petals.

oikawa sighed. he hasn't had the energy to clean his room for a couple weeks, always feeling so nauseous and heavy whenever he got home from school. oikawa groaned, moving to lay down on his side to try and get some sleep before he started coughing up again. maybe he could get some rest before he-

the doorbell rang.

oikawa froze.

and his blood ran cold.

fuck.

he slowly sat up, gripping the futon in between his hands until his knuckles turned white. he looked around his room, seeing the mess of everything.

he let out a small groan, praying, begging to whoever was up there that it was just a delivery guy that his mom had sent to give him food.

when he got up from his futon, muttering barely even a whisper; "coming" as the doorbell impatiently rang a second time, dragging his feet to his front door, and peeking through the peep hole.

he wanted the ground to swallow him up whole.

standing there, in all of his glory, outside in casual wear was iwaizumi, holding on to a steaming plastic bag of his favorite milk bread that was bought in the small corner store in the neighborhood oikawa lived in.

"ugh, what is taking that lazykawa so long to answer the door" he heard iwaizumi mutter, before he moved to ring the doorbell once more, the sound ringing throughout his house.

oikawa froze in his place, a small blush climbing to his cheeks. he shook off the feelings and lightly patted his cheeks, calming his racing heart down before he made a move to turn the knob of the door.

when the door opened, he peeked outside, looking up at iwaizumi, then down to what he was holding, then back up at iwaizumi. this continued on for a few seconds, iwaizumi slowly growing on an irk mark as it pressed on.

"oi! aren't you gonna let me inside?!" iwaizumi questioned, his patience growing thin. he noticed oikawa froze to stare up at him, then slowly look back at his house, then quickly looking back up at iwaizumi.

"what, you got a fuck buddy hiding in there? tell them that i don't care and that to leave, you're sick"

"pfft-" he heard oikawa chuckle, before he looked back up at iwaizumi with an amused glint in his eyes, his cheeks tinted a rosy pink from the joke that iwaizumi made.

they stared at each other for a few minutes, a small smile playing at their lips.

"so are they gone now? can i come in? come on i don't want my ass to freeze here"

"pfft, iwa-chan, come on, you of all people should know that i don't have a fuck buddy cause i'm not that type of person."

"yea, yea, i know, but what's taking you so long to let me in anyway? your food is getting cold." oikawa stared at the plastic bag in his friend's hands, the steam slowly clearing. oikawa frowned, then lead his eyes away from the bag to stare up back at his friends eyes.

"my house is a mess."

"and? so is mine. we've both seen each others house and we know it's similar to a pigsty." even when iwaizumi made a joke, oikawa didn't laugh, or even crack a smile. a frown still tugged on the setter's lips, which made iwaizumi sport on a frown too.

"it can't be that bad, i'm sure my place is dirtier than yours anyway. just let me in, i don't want your food to be cold when you eat it." with a hesitant glance to his house and back at iwaizumi, oikawa slowly opened the door, stepping aside to let his visitor in.

iwaizumi took off his shoes, placing them neatly to the side while he placed the plastic bag beside him on the floor so he could work on his shoes. once he stood up to his full height, he picked up the plastic bag and took a quick look around the house.

"it isn't that bad, what do you mean it's a mess?"

"i meant my room. i haven't cleaned it ever since i got sick" iwaizumi nodded, going to the kitchen to place the bag of food on the kitchen counter. oikawa happily hopped to the bag, muttering a small "thank you" and "itadakimasu" before biting into the bread. a satisfied hum left him buzzing, already grabbing a second one to munch on.

iwaizumi lingered his stare on oikawa for a second too long, a small smile gracing his lips before he turned away and gazed at the hallway leading to the bathroom and oikawa's room.

the door to oikawa's room was opened wide, and while oikawa was busy chomping down the food that iwaizumi had bought him, iwaizumi made his way to oikawa's room, intending to close the door, but when he got there, a small, pink, almost white petal greeted him just outside of oikawa's room, a few, maybe 6, was scattered outside of oikawa's room.

iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. flower petals? outside oikawa's room? he wondered. when he crouched to pick them up and throw them away, blood was next to the petals. iwaizumi's eyes widened.

blood? who's blood?

his eyes trailed, following the blood which lead straight to oikawa's room. the room was lit up, which made it easier to see. in oikawa's room, scattered petals, thick thorns, some dangerously thin you can barely see them, and blood. some blood on his sheets, on the floor, his study desk.

oikawa peeked a head out of the kitchen to check where iwaizumi had gone to, and when he saw him just outside his room, staring straight at him with wide eyes and a pale face, that he knew right then and there, that iwaizumi hajime had known. 

they sat in thick silence in oikawa's living room, sipping on the warm tea that iwaizumi had made for the both of them. oikawa wondered when was the last time he had drank tea. it soothed his throat, and calmed his nerves. but not calm enough.

he heaved a cough deep in his chest and covered his mouth with his hand, catching the petals, thorns, and blood on his hand.

oikawa winced as he opened his hand, staring down at his hand that was full of thorny, bloodied, petals.

iwaizumi watched his expression with a frown, and turned his gaze to look at his friend's hand. he furrowed his eyebrows. iwaizumi knew that oikawa was a total love sick person, dreaming about having a girlfriend, possibly a boyfriend before high school ended. he stood from his seat and went to the bathroom to throw away the petals and wash his hands. when he came back, they sat in silence once again.

oikawa traced the rim of the cup with his finger, staring into the contents of the cup with an emotion that iwaizumi could not pin down. iwaizumi stared into his own cup, looking at his reflection as he blinked back the tears that was daring him to spill.

iwaizumi sighed.

"so how long"

"....which one?"

"how long since you've known."

"maybe a month or two ago."

".....how long?"

"......2 weeks tops"

iwaizumi grimaced. thats so little time.

"get surgery"

"no"

"why?"

"i'd rather die loving the person i fell in love with rather than dying a pitiful, long, unlovable death, iwa-chan."

he was right there.

"who is it?"

"you'll get mad if i tell you who."

"i wont"

"next time"

iwaizumi grimaced once more. when is 'next time'? when he's 6 feet under?

iwaizumi gazed up at his friend with glassy eyes, while oikawa just stared bitterly at his cup. iwaizumi looked back down, clasping his hands together.

"alright. next time it is."

iwaizumi stared longingly at the smiling picture of oikawa atop his coffin, tears brimming his eyes as he stared longer.

he averted his gaze to the ground, tears rolling down his cheeks and dropping down to the floor.

he promised oikawa that he wouldn't cry in his funeral, and instead make embarrassing jokes about him, and when oikawa laughed, saying it would piss his family off, iwaizumi couldn't care less. he wanted to make oikawa's funeral light hearted, the way he wants it to be. but he himself can't even mutter up a single word, trying to choke up his sobs as he covered his mouth with his hand.

he could imagine oikawa laughing at him in wherever he ended up in, saying that he sounded so cocky and sure of himself when he uttered bullshit to his face about his funeral as they planned it in their heads, but now he's just a crying mess, the funeral that he and oikawa planned the night before he died long forgotten as his chest tightened up, and his eyes blurred the colors and details of the world.

iwaizumi was tapped on his shoulder by his team mate, catching his attention as he looked up with fat tears rolling down his cheeks like waterfalls.

"i-iwaizumi-san... it's your turn to speak." kindaichi mumbled, holding back tears of his own. iwaizumi let his eyes wander to the front as he nodded numbly to kindaichi's words. he didn't want to speak. his throat closed up, and his hands became clammy, his heart beating out of his chest, head spinning as a headache rolled in.

he looked back down to the ground, and clenched his fist. he made his way to the front, dragging his feet behind him as he tried to collect his thoughts and words to make a speech.

once he was there, he stared. with a troubled, and lost expression, iwaizumi started speaking.

"hey, iwa-chan?"

"hm?" iwaizumi hummed, playing with the strands of oikawa's hair.

"remember when you asked me who it was?"

"yeah. are you going to tell me now?" iwaizumi questioned, grabbing oikawa's hand and playing with his fingers.

"well, you might get mad."

"i get mad at everything you do, tooru."

"so you're going to get mad when i say that i got the hanahaki disease because of you?" oikawa questioned his friend, grasping at iwaizumi's hand and holding it in his.

iwaizumi froze.

he tightened his grip on oikawa's hand.

"well,"

iwaizumi started off, hesitant in picking his words

"i cant....get mad at you for having feelings." oikawa brought their interlocked hands to his lips. iwaizumi could feel oikawa smile against his hand as he placed a chaste kiss on the exposed skin.

"why not?"

iwaizumi stayed silent, carefully watching oikawa's movements.

when oikawa turned his head to look at iwaizumi, his cheeks flared pink.

"w-what the hell are you staring at, iwa-chan?" oikawa fumbled, squeezing iwaizumi's hand. iwaizumi squeezed back as a response.

"ugh, i hate you so much" iwaizumi grumbled, holding oikawa's head in place as he planted a barely there kiss on top of his forehead.

iwaizumi didn't know why, but a memory of him and oikawa laying down on the couch, limbs tangled together in a mess had played while he was speaking.

if oikawa was here to see iwaizumi's little speech he'd laugh his stupid laugh that iwaizumi had grown accustomed to, finding comfort in his little wheezes and squeaks whenever he laughed. he would laugh at iwaizumi's sappy speech, telling him to cheer up because they're going to get his favorite food later after this is finished.

iwaizumi just bitterly chuckled at that thought.

'if'

'if is such a dumb word.' iwaizumi thought, folding his hands in front of himself as he went back to his spot before.

he thought, he could feel oikawa's presence by his side. he thought he could see oikawa's smile as he side hugged iwaizumi. he thought he could hear his low chuckle as he made a small joke about how ugly iwaizumi looked while he was crying. he thought he got a glimpse of oikawa's dumb brown hair that always looked to be in great condition no matter what. he thought he could feel him.

he thought.

.....

iwaizumi hated it here. it felt suffocating. felt like everyone was hogging up all the oxygen and leaving none for him.

so he left early.

he walked down the street, lifelessness showing clearly in his eyes. the people walking around him bumped into him, some not bothering to say sorry, some even yelling at him but he could care less.

he pulled his scarf closer to his nose, burying his head deeper into the folds of the soft cotton. he weakly huffed, eyes searching the busy street of cars for something. was it oikawa he was searching? he didn't know either.

his eyes lingered on a street lamp before wandering again, slowly blinking. eyes stopping dead on a figure in the middle of the street.

"iwa-chan!" oikawa waved, smiling brightly at iwaizumi.

iwaizumi's eyes lit up, his feet moving on its own.

he choked down a sob as he walked towards oikawa.

walking turned to jogging.

and jogging turned to running.

"shittykawa, what are you doing there! you'll get hit!" iwaizumi let out a cracked chuckle, finally a few inches away from him. he reached out to him, but oikawa dodged, laughing as he ran away from iwaizumi.

"come catch me if you can, iwa-chan!" oikawa challenged, running towards the other end of the street.

iwaizumi's eyes dilated. no, he couldn't lose oikawa again.

"t-tooru wait, no, please, don't leave me again!" iwaizumi desperately called, running after oikawa. the said person laughed giddily, turning to iwaizumi and opening his arms.

"come home iwa-chan! i miss you" oikawa managed a smile, his eyes shining brightly as iwaizumi stared into them.

"home...haha...sure, tooru." iwaizumi panted, hanging his arms around oikawa's waist.

oikawa placed his chin atop iwaizumi's head and wrapped his arms around iwaizumi's shoulders, shielding his sight from the incoming truck.

"yeah. you're home now, hajime."

ah, how cruel life is.