Bipolor - Blog Posts

An explanation of inconsistent writing:

Someone close to me is undiagnosed bipolar and our household is suffering for the lack of accountability this has caused.

They have trauma associated with someone from their past who had it, but instead of trying to get ahead of it, they're so deep in denial that they are blaming everybody else for losing the car keys, when they find them the second they bother to look.

All of my goals have suffered from this. My free time is so full of anxiety that I can't write more than a handful of words at a time unless struck with inspiration.

To everyone following me on AO3, I'm sorry my updates and writing are so inconsistent. I'm doing my best.

PLEASEEE HELP ME

how can I tell if I have bipolar disorder

I reeeeallly think so but It feels fake because I haven't been diagnosed. I've read about symptoms and everything but idkkkk I get so unstable and then I'm fine idk what to do and I don't know if I should get diagnosed because then my mom would know and I'd have to take meds and I don't want that

Idk I like the picture

Ever feel like your mind is just gushing with unrealistic ideas, or emotions?

I feel like my mind rushes everyday!

My meds have been adjusted, and this is day three on the new dose. I am not doing well. We don't know if my body is metabolizing them, so this is doubling the dose to see if it takes. I am dissociating and I feel stuck in a dream. I don't know what to do with myself. I just want to cry.

Dear Guardian Angel,

My gums are bleeding

I still haven't eaten

Do you pity me?

Please don't

I do this to myself

I self sabotage when things get better and act like it's the end of the world

I dug my own grave

Do you feel anything at all…

You were assigned to me

I'm sorry

My observer

For all the things you've seen

For all my thoughts you hear

For all the words I utter

And still I hope you can see that this is not truly me

I am is whatever I've seen on tv

I'm a chameleon

I put on a new mask and change it when it cracks

I'm lost

Who am I?

I’m gone

Or am I just done

Sitting with my thoughts alone

In this empty home

Father ignores and mothers on the other side of the world

I'm sure you already know

I mean you know me better than me

Stuck in my apocalypse

Hollow, dark, empty, incomplete, disguised, loveless

Distorted with the painful echo of my screams and cries.

Begging for an escape from my capturer

Me.

Just realized my bipolar is showing

Sometimes i feel like sh-ing then i remember

i already have cvts stinging that are extremely painful why do i feel like i need more? why isn't what i have ever enough pain?

Finished the 1st Buddha drawing I've ever attempted.

Definitely not my best work for sure but its something I guess. Lol.

My Batman line Art in Pen.