Tony: Thor, We Can’t Let Loki On Earth.

I carry around a lot of random stuff.

Levy, DMing: You lose your balance and fall backwards. As you land, you hear something in your bag break.

Gajeel, remembering he had four jars of live bees in his bag: Oh no.

Loki at Midtown Tech: I have come to kidnap my adopted gremlin friend

Office Lady: I’m not sure who you mean. Would you like to ask over the PA system?

Loki: I would love too.

Loki into the mic: Hey gremlin, we’re gonna fight a god and kick his ass. And then we’re gonna cause mischief with the vent bird

Meanwhile in Peter’s classroom

Teacher: Well that was weird. Probably someone playing a prank...Peter, why are you getting up?

Peter: I’m gonna fight a god, kick ass and cause mischief with the vent bird. It helps a snake and spider de-stress.

Teacher: You know what? I don’t care anymore. “Fight a god” as long as you get your work done.

Ned after a moment: snake... snake... Wait, does that mean that was Loki?!

Oof

The spider that bit Peter Parker’s was from a cross-species genetics lab right? Think of the possibilities for fanfiction and headcanons.

P.S. I’m starting an au oneshot book about this. It doesn’t exist yet though. It will be on Wattpad because I can’t find my drafts on Tumblr ever. @adopted_by_hestia is the account

Loki: I’m like a candle.

Thor: In what way?

Loki: I’ll burn your house down if you leave me alone.

Thor: Again, that’s called arson. It’s illegal.

Mr Harrington at decathlon: You’re all wonderful people so I don’t think any of you have ever broken another person’s bones before

Peter and MJ look at each: About that...

Harrington: Okay, I kinda expected MJ but Peter?! Why are you breaking people’s bones?

Peter: Cause fighting non lethally is hard without breaking bones. I either break bones or I kill them

Harrington having a panic attack: Okay. Okay. This is normal. Trauma forces people to make bad choices.

MJ: I’m proud of you loser.

Flash: whatthefuckwhatthefuck

Avengers play Cards Against Humanity

Since the last one was well received here's part two

Black Card: You know who else liked ______? Hitler.

Loki: Eradicating the jews

Steve: Mass Genocide

Peter: Veganism

Hope: Nazis

Scott: Bees

Natasha: White privilege

Clint: Chunks of dead backpacker

Harley: Daniel Radcliffe's delectable arsehole

Shuri: Praying the gay away

T'challa: Restoring Germany to it's former glory

Tony: A reason not to commit suicide

Bruce: Auschwitz

Sam: God

Bucky: Poorly timed holocaust jokes

Pepper: Seeing things from Hitler's perspective

Rhodey: Suicidal thoughts

Thor: Vikings

Wanda: It's hard to decide... "You know who else liked veganism? Hitler" is my favourite. Peter wins.

Do you guys want to chose the winners? And yes, there are going to be more of these cards against humanity. Send me other people you want to play too.

Harley would be the incapable one. Point in question: Peter and Ned’s handshake

Harley, to Peter: your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this bromance apart

Peter: MJ is so cute. *sigh*

Ned: ...She just...stabbed Flash for bullying you...

Peter: I said cute not harmless.

MJ: You do know I can hear you?

Peter:

Ned:

MJ: Thanks Loser

Reblog if you are bisexual, pansexual, or asexual, if you support bisexuals, pansexuals, and asexuals, or

There’s no third, funny option, just the first two because it’s good to just support people because they deserve support.