Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Loki at Midtown Tech: I have come to kidnap my adopted gremlin friend
Office Lady: I’m not sure who you mean. Would you like to ask over the PA system?
Loki: I would love too.
Loki into the mic: Hey gremlin, we’re gonna fight a god and kick his ass. And then we’re gonna cause mischief with the vent bird
Meanwhile in Peter’s classroom
Teacher: Well that was weird. Probably someone playing a prank...Peter, why are you getting up?
Peter: I’m gonna fight a god, kick ass and cause mischief with the vent bird. It helps a snake and spider de-stress.
Teacher: You know what? I don’t care anymore. “Fight a god” as long as you get your work done.
Ned after a moment: snake... snake... Wait, does that mean that was Loki?!
A stranger cat calling MJ: Hey gorgeous. Want me to teach you something?
MJ: Sure. I’ve always wanted to know whether someone can die of constipation.
Stranger: Uhhh. What?
MJ: Will you die of constipation?
Stranger:
MJ: Cause you’re full of shit
Peter and Ned laughing: You killed him
Bucky: Sweetheart?
Steve: yes?
Natasha. yes?
Sam: yes?
You know that thing when you did something bad and your parents just go: “imma gonna take you phone away.”
Welp, Tony Stark tried it once too. Peter just got in a fight (details doesn’t matter, the bad guy got kick in the ass and peter three bullets into his chest) and Tony just took his phone away.
10 minutes later Tony passes Peter again and Peter is holding in hand some new phone, even better than the one he got before, it has even a AI and a drink holder and everything, and Tony is just like;, Where did you got this? Peter, who gave it to you?!” And Peter just looks up and takes off his EDIT glasses like that (yk, just like Tony does) and is all like cool and w a special cool voice and he says;, nobody get me it. I built it.”
And Tony just doesn’t know if he should be more proud or pissed off.
Robert Redford: ‘m joining the club -_-
Robert Downey jr;, What if we swap the first letters of our first and last names?"
,,Dobert Rowney"
,,Mnthony Aackie"
,,Jcarlett Sohannsson"
,,Cenedict Bumberbatch"
,,Ehris Cevans"
,,Sebastian Sta- I hate this game"
mcu: we ahve a girl that fell in love with a microwave that has stone in head
fans: nice, and what about two boys together then?
mcu: oh, there can't be anything more than a friendship
Robert Downey jr;, What if we swap the first letters of our first and last names?"
,,Dobert Rowney"
,,Mnthony Aackie"
,,Jcarlett Sohannsson"
,,Cenedict Bumberbatch"
,,Ehris Cevans"
,,Sebastian Sta- I hate this game"
Becca Barnes: You have to learn to use pain.
Becca: not yours.
* crunches her fingers *
Becca: but the pain of others
Bucky: Hey Stevie, are you a toaster?
Steve: why?
Bucky: cus you're hot
Steve: *is cooking* Bucky, whispers: damn that's hot. Steve: I'm sorry, what did you say Buck? Bucky, panicking:I said I'm thot!
me