Sad Poem - Blog Posts

Why does emptiness hurt so much,

when there is nothing for me to feel anymore.

Dragging my pale hands across the dirty walls,

I feel like giving up on everything.

I've lived on for so long,

hoping that someday everything would get better.

But that was just a lie I told myself,

because all that ever happened to me was blue.

From heartbreaks to heartbreaks,

I lived on hoping I would be free one day.

But turns out the way we live our lives,

is always predetermined before our births.

Stars and galaxies had perfectly aligned,

to make sure that luck never came my way.

All those times I felt like joys,

were simply mirages on my abandoned mind.

I wanted answers for so long,

but was afraid to come get them.

Now in the middle of the night I stand,

my heart feeling heavier than ever before.

My pale hands glides over the knocker,

and the sound of it makes the stillness scream.

Moonlight is the only comfort I have now,

as I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

The cold night air smells bittersweet,

but strangely it feels like home.

It is home.

Losing someone you love is hard enough,

but losing all of them together,

is the worst torture that a soul can suffer.

It's been years since I came home.

But I always carried it within me,

a burden that was uncalled for.

Now with the moon and the night as witnesses,

I gather every last ounce of life in me.

Calling home for the first time in years,

I am answered with a gentle breeze that caresses my cheeks.

Maybe they too missed me like I missed them.

Maybe I should've come sooner,

so that I could live a little longer.

But it doesn't matter now.

I call home after so long,

to let them know that I'll come soon.

It's just a matter of months, said the doctors.

But to me it feels like I have eternities to cross,

to finally be whole again.

Calling home for the first time in years,

I can't wait to be finally home again.

© Moonyloonywitch

12/08/2021

Ever since I saw your face,

a homeless ache setteled into my soul.

Creating a void inside me day by day,

while I watch you smile from afar.

I know we are worlds apart,

but my heart doesn't accept that.

Fate was a fairytale to me,

something that people used to distract themselves.

But I think it was fate that brought you to me.

Or rather it was fate that I realised you existed in this world.

Love is what everyone talks about,

but I never felt the need to experience it.

So while all around me people fell in love,

I quietly gazed at the stars wondering why I would need someone ever.

And it still is true, I don't need you.

When I saw you my heart didn't skip a beat,

nor did my breath catch.

But strangely though I couldn't tear my eyes off of you.

I thought it was a mere infatuation,

a crush upon your beautiful features.

But turns out after months of seeing you,

all I ever want is to see you even more.

My heart has latched onto you,

so now everything I love reminds me of you.

That seemed suspicious to me,

so I tried looking for more prettier faces.

I found many more of them,

yet in the end my heart only remembers yours.

I am scared that I am falling for you.

I just don't want to.

So when someone asks me if I ever was in love,

I'll confidently say that I haven't.

While my stupid heart silently screams your name.

And I'll pretend that I didn't hear it.

© Moonyloonywitch

07/08/2021

It hurts to see you like this.

All broken and drowning.

Souless eyes staring into oblivion.

I know you've been heartbroken.

And I know you feel like dying.

But I hope you know that I care.

I care so much that your pain is starting to feel like my own.

And I am scared that I'll end up like you too.

But while I am beside you in your sad story,

I don't think you'll be there for me in mine.

I don't know what to do now.

Maybe just for a while till you heal,

I'll hold your hand and pretend I don't love you.

Denial has never been my thing.

But now I need it to live.

So here I am denying the love I feel for you,

so that I can share the pain you are in because of him.

Love has many definitions,

and for me it is being with you while you love another.

© Moonyloonywitch

06/08/2021

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍.

𝚄𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚍.

𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑.

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚙 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚎,

𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚕𝚞𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚡𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖 𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚕𝚎.

𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏.

𝚈𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚐𝚒𝚏𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗𝚎.

𝚆𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚒 𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚢.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎.

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚍.

𝙸𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐.

© Moonyloonywitch

02/08/2021

9:59 pm

I thought you'd turn back.

I thought you'd reach out for my hand.

I fell thinking you'd be there at the end.

But all that remained were ghosts of promises.

Perhaps I should've screamed harder,

when you left me there in the dark.

All I ever knew was your touch.

And all I ever did was wait for your return.

Silence lays above the trees.

But the storm within me rages on.

I need you to make me warm again.

A gentle touch of yours is enough to calm me.

Please don't go along now that you're free.

Every once in a while come by me.

Without your hot tears and quiet voice,

the bones in me are all lonely.

One by one they call out to you.

Letters of my name make up the loneliest number,

when you no longer whisper them at night.

Love is never enough,

and promises are empty words in the end.

Why did we let go of each other?

Maybe we should've held hands tighter,

and run away far into the universe.

But now it's too late.

You've found another.

Life is too short to cry over past lovers.

But I hope I find you again.

Somewhere along the border of the galaxy.

Darts

Forever playing darts with my heart.

Dicing it to pieces.

Lost in the blackness.

Acting so wouldn’t see the sadness.

You was the captain of my madness.

Taking my breath away.

Now I can’t feel nothing.

Haven’t crushed in a minute.

Can’t get the same high.

The L different but the smoke keep showing you.

Then I realize y’all one in the same.

Only here for the moment.

The Stars

I look to the star, they don’t shine the same.

I want be a star but the spark is not the same.

Passionate to passionless.

Losing sight of who I am.

Only seeing the scars.

Feeling what I lost.

This pain is not for sport.

mothers & daughters

i wish my mother liked me more

i know she loves me

she has to

i just wish she likes me sometimes

i wish i was all the things she wanted in a daughter

instead of all the things she didn't

i wish she liked me more

than she likes her religion

i wish i liked my mother more

i try, i really do

i just can't help but roll my eyes, sometimes

or sigh when she asks a question

i wish i could see past her flaws

or even love her in spite of them

i wish i could break the cycle

and yet around and around it goes

I meet my friends, I laugh, I cry

Well, I think, it's not so bad being alive.

We hug eachother and say goodbye

With a promise to meet again held in each of our eyes.

I wave as I watch them leave, smile lingering just a second longer

My chest is so full of love yet I've never felt calmer.

If only I could keep feeling this way

I know I wouldn't want to run so far away

To a place I hope no one I love walks into

Untill they're old and grey.

-scaredofmyvoice

Something happened today

Something that made me think.

We went to get food, my friends and I

We went to get food delighted and waiting to buy.

One step closer i get nervous,

Do i really have to eat?

Another step closer,

My heart starts pumping with quickened beats.

We get the food, my friends and I,

One big plate to share amongst us three.

They each grab a spoon and give one to me

They each have a bite and look at me,

Waiting to see if I liked the taste.

Was it always this scary to eat?

Was i always so afraid of their eyes on me?

No, thats not true.

But then whats wrong?

Why can't i eat even though it's what i want?

I stand there awkwardly trying to get a spoonfull

I stand there awkwardly hoping to run away if i could.

In the end I said I didn't want to eat and smiled

In the end , even though I didnt want to I lied.

I thought about it all the way home

And then i thought about it some more.

It makes me sad because I wanted to eat

It makes me mad because I held myself back.

I wanted to be like them when their eyes sparkled at the taste

I wanted to be like them when they ate each bite with no shame on their face.

Im always so ashamed to eat

Even though its a basic need

Im always so ashamed they'd see

And so i hide away behind smiles and a mumbled "Its okay I'm fine"

Something happened today,

Something that made me blink

At the absurdity of my own mind

For making me feel such shame

Over something so small,

Like having a bite.

-scaredofmyvoice

I usually wait till I have atleast a few poems written before I post but this has been on my mind for hours now and I just wanted to let it out.

It's been a rough day guys :<

The only thing he deserves is my hate, not any of my thoughts and even less my love

Every second I only want to spend it with you, they feel like a waste if you're not by my side.

I'm mad at her. I'm mad at him. I'm mad at them. I'm mad at everyone. I'm mad because of everyone. I'm mad at everything, every single thing. I'm mad at myself. I'm insanely mad.

In a romantic way

All I want is love, to feel loved

My destiny is doing everything wrong and realising midway how everything is going to end, and then everything goes wrong and the cycle starts again

I always said the same thing

when asked about relationships

and the reason why I was never in one.

I said it so much it felt a bit rehearsed

but it was true.

I did not need anyone to be happy,

I did not need anyone to come

and step into my world

only to mess it up.

And for so long I kept that up

I let no one in for anything else

but a simple friendship because I knew

that if they left it would be okay

but you came one day and overtime

became that one person;

The one that I never wanted to let go of,

because things with you were great

you came

and became part of my happiness.

Now I am finding it hard to let you go

but I know I will be okay

because I have rehearsed a new line

and it goes a bit like this,

“I learned what love was and I will be okay”

because although I still leave your space

in our bed open as if you would lay there again

I know you won’t and maybe,

just maybe things were meant to be that way

because

I learned what love was

And for that I will forever thank you.  

M.S.I

my son orpheleus was orphaned 2 hours after his birth 💔💔💔

watch the sawdust n dirt,

swirl swirl swirl

down the drain

« we all had some coffee. after that i don’t know any more. the night passed. » - the stranger

mess mess mess

my mind’s

cluttered mess

A poem called fear it's under the cut :)

Fear

Is there a reason 

You feel so empty? 

Is there a reason 

You feel so alone? 

Surrounded by people

All the time

Yet the monsters in your mind

Just won't rest

You're locked in a prison

Made in your mind

Put on a smile

Don't let them know

Cause you can take this pain

Another day. 

Focus on happy thoughts

You're convinced you'll end up fine

You're overreacting 

Just calm down

Cause nobody else

Says anything about this

So keep your mouth shut, 

You think, 

And smile at the world 

Can't focus on happy thoughts anymore

Can't pay attention

They're getting worried

Cause you can't breath quite right anymore

That smile of yours a bit askew

You're locked in a prison 

Made in your mind

You can't let them know

You can't take this pain

Another day. 

Take some medication, 

You're sure you'll be fine

Keep your mouth shut, 

You think, 

Cause you can't tell them how it feels

Nobody else

Tells you anything about this

You're drowning in an ocean of silence

So you keep smiling

Not sure you're doing it right but

It's convincing enough. 

Medication is failing

It hurts to even think

The monsters dug their claws in so deep

You're so sick of smiling 

Cause there are no happy thoughts anymore

You're chained up in your own mind

Gagged by your own fear

You up the dose

Anything to feel alive

You feel like you're insane

Nobody else

Feels this way

You're so alone

Wishing you could

Just smile again

You don't know if you'll be fine

Silence hurts

Words hurt more 

Anything

To end the pain

Thoughts fade to fuzzy haze

Your own heartbeat seems like a curse

They ask you if you're afraid of death

You can’t answer

You're not afraid of death

You're afraid of life

You're so scared

Of living another day

Anything to end the pain

It's all too much

Nothing is the same

You're jumping at every noise

You just want to feel free again! 

The monsters have you hostage 

In your own mind

There's nothing you can do! 

You don't feel fixable

You feel like a shattered mess that ruins everything and everyone

You feel like you're ruined beyond redemption, like even your soul can't be saved

You feel afraid of this life when they ask if you're really giving up

But they don't understand

The living hell you suffer though! 

They don't understand

How much you keep inside! 

Your mind is breaking under the stress

You're so scared of feeling this any more

One more day seems like another year

Every moment of every day is a nightmare of pain you can't escape

Your mind might as well be a weapon

You can't take it any longer! 

.... 

You're drowning. 

Lately I’ve been finding myself drowning my sorrows In alcohol.

I promised myself to not find any other substance to become numb.

I lied to myself.

I crave for it now.

What’s sober?

I can’t get enough of it.

Those around me say to voice my problems to them but in the end, I am still misunderstood.

So I will stay in this shell of mine.

And accept my journey to cease to exist.

This is my own fate.

And all I loved, I loved alone.

~ Alone by Edgar Allan Poe

Sixteen

This year, I turned sixteen.

I expected it to be a dream,

But it was nothing like what we see in movies.

I didn't get a party with all my friends,

I didn't sneak out in the end,

I barely got a card from them.

This year, I turned sixteen.

I waited for it my whole life,

Because sixteen is the dream, right?

I look back and I only realize

How wrong I was.

I wish I could go back.

This year, I turned sixteen.

Not even half my friends remembered,

And I feel more lonely than ever.

I wish I could go back.

I wish I could go back to playing all day,

To dressing up instead of worrying about what to say.

I wish I could still look up at my parents,

I wish I still liked myself.

This year, I turned sixteen.

I wish I could still be a kid.

The dream, if you ask me,

Is to turn back into the child I used to be.

𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓳𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓽

I wrap myself in your jacket,

As if I can feel your presence with me.

I wrap myself in your jacket,

As if my racing heart and the storms in my head get calm

I wrap myself in your jacket,

As if your scent will linger around me and trigger the nostalgia.

I wrap myself in your jacket,

As if your arms are wrapped around me.

I wrap myself in your jacket and wish it was you instead.

I am chaos,

I am cursed,

I bring destruction to the table,

I ruin everything,

Everything that I have ever touched,

Everything that I have ever felt,

Everything...that I have ever loved.

Meaning of words.

You said then

that

my love murders

you in a beautiful

way

and that you don't

think of an

existence without

it

so in that i

thought you

would go extinct

upon our failure.

But as time grows

all i have seen is a you

blooming.

Was it a lie ?

and my love

was totally a nothing

to you ?

please

please  tell

me

and tell

the one

murdering you

now

not to highly think

of things for

all of it is

just a jumble of

words.