Inccorect Quotes - Blog Posts

*Leaving the movie theater they were watching lion king*

Aziraphale: that was an interesting movie

Crowley: it was fun but ominously familiar

Aziraphale: *gasp* HAMLET

Crowley: Shakespeare play yeah, what does that have to do right now

Crowley: OHHHH it was based off of Hamlet, cool

This is golden

[Name], holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him  

Ratchet: You did WHAT–  

Bumblebee: William Snakepear

Nikolai: *cuddling Sigma* this is the first time I got to be intimate with someone that didn’t run away from me. Even Dostoy has escaped my advances.

Sigma: UNTIE ME RIGHT NOW NIKOLAI!

Nikolai: Shush. You’re ruining the moment.

Simon: What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Xavier: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.

Simon: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Maddie: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Simon, turning to Xavier: How tall are you?

Tim, holding something behind his back: don’t be mad.

Bruce, already getting mad: I won’t get mad, you can always talk to me. What’s going on?

Tim, revealing a swaddled baby: I messed up when cloning Kon and accidently spilt my DNA into it and now I have a clone baby with my dead situationship.

Bruce, flabbergasted: ..???

Bruce: why were you cloning- when did you start datin- I’m a grandpa?! No, go back, how did you ‘accidently’ spill DNA aren’t you paranoid too????

Tim, who may or may not have been crying over one of the clones and accidently cut his lip trying not to sob and got blood into a test chamber: that’s not important.

Bruce, hyperventilating: why is it so small????

Tim: cause she’s only two months old.

Bruce; I understand that, but even an average two month old should be-…

Bruce: two.

Bruce: you said two months.

Tim: you said you wouldn’t get mad.

Bruce: you hid a baby for TWO MONTHS?!

Tim: I WAS PANICKING LEAVE ME ALONE!

Bruce: IVE BEEN A GRANDPA FOR TWO MONTHS AND YOU DIDNT TELL ME?!

Tim: WELL! I don’t know I’m seventeen, what did you expect?

Bruce, actively loosing brain cells: if you can clone your dead boyfriend-

Tim: we never actually started dating-

Bruce: -then you can tell your father you had a baby.

Tim: …

Tim: I’m not exactly sure what stage of being an adult I am, I started a little young I think.

Tim: but I am a mother now so don’t you dare yell at me.

Bruce: …

Tim: …

Bruce: …

Bruce: … can I hold her?

Tim, grinning in victory: wash your hands first and then you can.

LATER:

Bruce: why is she a girl if you and Kon are both male?

Tim: are you questioning my baby’s gender??? That’s so homophobic, gay men can raise girls.

Bruce: you know damn well I didn’t mean-

Mr.Martin: Rhonda is at that very special age where a kid only has one thing on their mind.

Wally: Boys?

Rhonda: Homicide

Dawn: Always check yourself for unnecessary negativity and bitterness

Rhonda: Unnecessary negativity ✓ bitterness ✓

Maddie: I’ve accidentally indulged in to much ‘me time’

Maddie: Turns out, I’ve been reported missing for six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

Maddie: .......

Maddie: I hope they make a Buzz Feed about me.

Maddie: I think we‘re missing something.

Wally: Teamwork?

Rhonda: Cohesion?

Charley: A never give up attitude?

Ajay: A general sense of what we‘re doing?

(Ajay from October Sun / October Moon mentioned 👀)

Rhonda: The great thing about apologies is that you don’t have to mean them

Rhonda: You know, I lie and tell Charley I’m sorry all the time

Charley: *glares at her*

Rhonda: I’m sorry

Rhonda: See?

Reader: I'm seeing someone.

Simon: As in dating or as in dead people?

Reader: Yes

(October Moon by @whoopsyeahokay incorrect quote because I thought it fit too well)

Wally: Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so many eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies

I love that my post with the most notes is a criminal minds incorrect quote that took 5 seconds of thought. 😭 personally I think my buzzfeed unsolved one about Emily was funnier but go off I guess.

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

Emily: i can't find my pen. are you sitting on it again?

Y/n: no.

Emily: stand up.

Y/n: i don't want to.

Emily: why?

Y/n: *mumbling* because i'm probably sitting on your pen 😔

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

Spencer: I've been struggling with drug use after being kidnapped and nearly dying.

The team:

Cat: You're in Spencer's DM's, I'm in his police report

Cat: We are not the same

Spencer: You're the love of my life, my best friend. I would do anything for you.

Y/n: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a descent sleeping schedule.

Spencer: Absolutely not.

Therapist: Mr.Winchester, your life isnt a movie.

Sam: i hope its a short film

Therapist: ....

Emily: I’ve accidentally indulged in to much ‘me time’

Emily: Turns out, I’ve been reported missing for six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

Emily: .......

Emily: I hope they make a Buzz Feed about me.

Store Worker *over the loudspeaker*: Would Aaron Hotchner please come to the front desk?

Hotch, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Spencer and Y/N*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Spencer and Y/N: We got lost :(

Hotch: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Cat: You're in Spencer's DM's, I'm in his police report

Cat: We are not the same

Ashoka: *just on the moon where the tribunal went down during order 66, after getting assigned a weird pulling feeling from the force: well. This totally isn’t a trip down grief lane.* “well..this is a trip down grief memory lane.”

*she just walked around until she found the grave sight of the rest of the 332nd. Only difference is seeing what seems to be an army of strangely colored tookas staring at her.*

Ashoka: “ tookas. A lot of Tookas…force what is this a joke” *she pouted walking to the tookas who just continue to stare at her.*

tookas of the 332nd thinking in their minds: commander we exist. We will be your issues again.

Barbatos: I wanted to have a good day today.. but no. Body horror.

Mc: Are you okay-

Barbatos: there's an eyelash in my eye.

this was in my brain and wouldn't leave

Stone: Look at how cute these pens are!

Robotnik: Stone, that's gay

Stone: Dr, we've been dating-

sorry, if someone did this already

Nina: hey Crowley?

Crowley: Aziraphale used to call me Crowley...

Nina: because it’s your fucking name

Julie: I made tea

Frank: I don’t want tea.

Julie: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Frank: Then why are you telling me?

Julie: It is a conversation starter.

Frank: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Julie: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Garcia: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much. Morgan: Oh, you’ve been? Garcia: Once. In Monopoly.