"Distance Is Pain"

Go on, my love let's change our sheets let the dull whiteness reinvent our desire

Let's move, my love find a new house to call it home and ignore the empty space we can’t fill on our own

Let's go, my love what do you try to say? you would rather leave then to stay forever the same?

When did "I love you"s  lost their worth? They are no longer a promise of feelings but rather a confirm of enjoyment they are the life we dream of but not the dream we live they are the desire we hope for but not the passion we find they are a lie we replace with the truth but not the truth we see in each other we love to live a lie because it is so much easier then to go outside again and find someone where “I love you” is more than a construct against the loneliness

When will appear the day where I am finally ready to open my eyes? Stop hiding from days, months, years which I apologize with "Today is just one of the other kind"

Where I will stop dividing days into "this kind" and "good kind"

Where I won't fear falling asleep because of how terrifying it feels waking up and living without changes

Where driving home won't feel like an obstacle I can't overcome but end up panicking every Sunday all over it again

Where I am ready to open my eyes and perceive the colors of the world swallow them and start to see what I am missing by holding my eyes closed

I used to feel so deeply for you but now I am confused about the love that I felt about the love that I lost

I used to feel so strong with my heart dancing in fire it never burned out it never lost its desire

I used to feel so passionate like it was only you and me passionate about us passionate about who we could be

Now I feel nothing of the things that I used to feel I stare into your eyes black holes, just as dead as mine

How could we become these deadly boring people? Weren't we the ones which used to breathe through kisses?

How could we lose all of this and slowly become enemies? we stopped to dance in our light we rather start wars in our shadow

How lovely it would be to go back to the art of passion but we buried it our fallen feeling of desire

empty hands

there is no space between our hands yet all I feel is emptiness promising touches holding me and whispering I am safe I am allowed to lose control I am allowed to let myself fall

while all I touch are empty hands, fading through my skin, not able to carry a single finger of mine so how can I expect from you to carry my world, while you already gave up on yours?

Show me your darkness You try to light up Let me dance with your shadows Instead of sunbathe in your light Tell me your secrets So I can fall in love With the person  you hate yourself the most for Let me exchange your idea of your ugliness With the beauty, there is behind

“I love you" seemed so scary to say you took the fear gifted me the words I've never heard leaving someone mouth Yet by touching your lips, I knew it wasn't a lie you told me it was your heart you offered

I am tired

of the numb feeling

of tiredness

which drugs

my mind

until I feel

nothing

I am sorry but I am not going to make it Instead, I will float in the sea of unconsciousness and slowly drown to the sound of your voice I am sorry but I am not able to be yet I will rather remain as an ungrown flower and hide in the shadows hide from the sun hide from the rain only to avoid growing up and to stay a child I am sorry but I am not ready to fall this early because if I fall for you you are not able to catch me and I can't fly yet I am sorry but I am not ready to leave my nest yet I am not ready to fly not ready to grow not ready to be the human you try to see in me

Your promises sweet like honey touching my lips filling my soul Let’s see  How long you can keep  your promises of love, respect and security