Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
(lie) - Blog Posts
thinking about karai
my arttober spree kinda got in the way of my schooling but ill still think of this one as a post for it !!
“catch you next time, dearie”
Wdym people can trust their parents?? Like, are there people who have actually been able to express themselves to their parents without having their feelings invalidated or used to stay in the abusive relationship?
It's a bigger lie than Boss could even make fr fr
Ok have a bingpup doodle for your troubles
I usually picture bingpup as a tiny teacup puppy or a massive monster of a dog there’s no in between
OMG THE FRIMPLE THE CRINGLE I LOVE FARKAS SM HES MY FAV OUT OF ALL OF THE COMPANIONS HES SO SILLY AND SILLY AND SILLY AND
Farkas stimboard with furs and knife/sword sharpening for @qyuryyus
⚔️ 🐾 🐺 | ⚔️ 🐾 🐺 | ⚔️ 🐾 🐺
"hold on... isn't your leg still injured?" you ask, pulling away from hungry kisses peppered along your chin and down your collarbone in haste. there's sudden alarm in your voice that barou seems to completely disregard as his hand continues to cup the underside of your thigh, eyes bidding you to forget it and continue.
but by now the moment is lost, and your hand is gently placed against his chest. he rolls his eyes, but lets go, and you see it again - a slight wince as he shifts the weight off of his knee and resumes his position sat next to you on the couch.
he says nothing more than a slight grumble under his breath and returns his eyes away from the unwatched movie before you. your heart is still beating and your face is still flushed, but you press on.
"shoei."
he doesn't look at you, arms crossed over his chest.
"yeah."
"your knee?"
his jaw clenches.
"what about it?"
"what did the doctors say?" you press, now leaning forward yourself to glance at him. he tries to avert his gaze, but you stare so hard that he's unable to ignore you. you helped bandage that very knee earlier today; he cannot pretend the injury does not exist.
"two more weeks."
you shake your head. "and yet you were on top of me."
the tick in his jaw returns and he cuts eyes directly at you.
"what if you don't heal properly and can't play again?" you glare back at him with just as much sass, but as you hold gazes for a few more moments in the shifting dark, his annoyance dissolves, replaced by a cheeky grin. he leans forward, enough that his lips nearly graze yours yet again, then looks down at your pout. heat flashes again through your neck and upper chest, and he can tell, pleased so. his mouth pecks at yours.
"if you're so worried, climb on top of me instead."
he has a point.
you swallow hard, but you'll do whatever your King asks of you.
usually.
Tokyo Special Division 4
this is all i’m good for to my family now smh my head ://///
romancing barret week, day 2, first date!! theyd probably hang at some dingy restaurant but its still a vibe
weak but still standing.
all the words that flow through me, never ending verbal sea. none of which amount to anything... not near what I think they mean. All these thoughts Above me circling. pondering if, and what if there was... some meaning? What could it be. What will this bring? wounds in mending. shaping me. Tear it down, now build it up. break my heart but you cant break me. no matter how close you think I seem.
reality loop error
connecting all the dots now.
a circle has no end.
i make this lone circuit.
do you understand?
i look back with sorrow.
the things that should have been..
i walk forth so blindly.
my eyes are wide open.
the past will always be here..
i will never change.
the future holds yet nothing.
nothing stays the same.
memory now failing.
the time has come you see.
everything a reflection.
never skipping beat.
no way to start over.
mistakes ill soon repeat.
reality is fading.
become dark fantasy.
im the virus in this program.
Error in the registry.
who is in control here?
monkey or machine?
a clean escape.
The water is drawn and Im all alone.
I look at myself as I take off my clothes.
I look pretty decent.
Its the real me that nobody knows.
I know the secrets that nobody can.
nearly flawless canvas on a broken man.
Im thinking of you as Im lowering in.
Warm relaxing water just under my chin.
the last time you made me smile.
The last time you made me laugh.
This is the last time Ill take a bath.
The sleep is coming. Im going to drown.
Im dreaming of you on the way down.
Hopeless devotion.
you were so good.
never better.
every word.
every letter.
meticulous.
flawless.
right down to... the way you dress.
Everything... in its place.
that soft look... on your face.
those promises... that we made.
you said they meant... everything.
all your hopes... and all your dreams.
never suspected... anything.
you were so warm.
I melt for you.
Ill do anything.
Just ask me to.
Someplace unfamiliar
with every step.
I move further from this earth.
This being ive become.
clouds once looming over head,
now just a haze someplace below.
That place.
One I never knew and will never know.
Could never know.
With every wish Ive held my breath.
let down.
Im running out, t
urning blue as that very color fades from it.
Those calming words you spoke to me.
That calming voice,
bringing sanity.
as there once was…
again nothing will be.
Prolonging pain.
Inducing change.
a short glimpse at clarity.
The night provides the day.
fire, the beauty of the flame.
And the ashes,
the perfect place,
a clean slate.
END
breathe that breath. Breath it for me. hold it in. let it out. the one I always wanted to take, but never could find it. One that would never come again. leaving a void in my chest. the exhaling sigh of relief. The stillness. The numbness. The crushing inner peace that comes with it. Realization. and with it the knowing that its all over. That it happened. And that itll never happen again. the meaning of what it was all worth. The feeling of all the worlds weight baring down on your chest. That moment of inner peace, now to only be remembered. and to be remembered as fleeting. to long for. To make you wish the chaos had never ended and your desire for that breath never realized. The reminder that life is short. For some suffrage is life. to suffer is to be holy. The only way one can feel the true joy of having, and the loss of losing. and in the end. Its all I have and have ever had. The end was written before the beginning. Realized too late. As I live breathing. There will be no salvation. Just a yearning for what was lost, or never was at all.
Forever and always AKB
I use to watch you as you slept.
I love your lips. soft… pink… warm…
ever so slightly parted, delicate.
id listen to your breath. every breath.
you were so peacfull.
and the soft contours of your body.
dim morning light through the window.
shades of blue and grey.
chest rising just to fall so smoothly down.
your naked body half coverd by sheets.
sheets that couldnt cover you if they wanted to.
my hands on your throught, you liked that.
That look in your eyes. you knew Id never hurt you.
youd inhale with a gasp a pleasure when I got it right.
Everything was always right. everything… right?
Now I know it will be. I know youll never leave.
a gentle thrust, a warm wet gush.
your life no more than a crimson river.
Down your chest, onto the floor.
everything you ever were is mine.
your lips part. and that look in your eyes.
pure. nothing. hopeless. love and everything.
the same as on the side of the road that drunken night.
cold steel, tender flesh. surrender to nothingness.
Youll always be my first and last.
My one and only. your love was mine.
and my life was yours.
Ill hold you in my arms. love you till your gone.
I never lied.
I can still taste you on my lips.
cold and crimson… our last kiss.
I want to find my comfort in you instead of building a place to call it a home only to see it collabs on the fragile ground which I misunderstood as stable because they told stories about love and its fiction instead of the truth its pleasure on destruction
“I love you" seemed so scary to say you took the fear gifted me the words I've never heard leaving someone mouth Yet by touching your lips, I knew it wasn't a lie you told me it was your heart you offered
A farewell does not always feel like one
It can wear a mask of a new beginning, a new chapter
“Let's stay friends”
I am fine with that
as long as I can keep your ghost next to me
as long as I can hear your voice
as long as I can keep your heart
as long as you can keep mine
Look at me
Look at me, with the eyes I used to see myself in
Look at me, don’t you feel anything?
Nothing at all?
No
A lie I tell you
to hide my feelings, my desires
to hide me from you
I am floating in the lake of love
I created with my missing tears