*sending A Risky DM Be Like*: We Makin It Outa The Private Story With This One

my phone is a catalytic converter that turns wifi into bad vibes

sometimes i wish i were a crime boss so i could party with federal agents

bitch you think you’re the shit? you’re not even the shart.

me when i’m playing minecraft: you know i’m cubin’

they should giving toothy bjs at guantanamo

*wiping the compression artifacts off my face* mmmm another long day in the jpeg mines

how it feels to have a relaxing midweek walk through a field outside ur job in the foothills

overheard in a fancy italian restaurant:

> eating lobster and jerking off are two different things

wipe my ass in both directions, call that booty bilingual.