Tendou Headcanons - Blog Posts

Darling Traps Them in a Room to Escape (Yandere Haikyuu Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

Ushijima and Oikawa Version

Sugawara and Kuroo Version

Bokuto, Kageyama, and Kenma Version

A/N: pfft so somebody requested this for hinata like t w o y e a r s ago… hehe. ANyways, love me some yandere haikyuu boys. Kinda loving tendou’s, so I hope y’all like it. Enjoy!

Word count: 2953

Tendou Satori:

“Darling, surely we’re not doing this now?”

“You know, I don’t think I like this game, YN. I suggest you end this before you cross a line you can’t come back from.”

You gulped but continued the search, digging through drawers and cupboards to find anything resembling a key. Tendou’s voice drawled from where you’d trapped him in the bathroom. 

“Taking advantage of a man while he’s got his pants down—not cool, YN.”

You try to ignore him, try to stay focused on what you’re doing, but it’s so hard. 

So hard when all he’s doing is heckling you in that damned tone of his.

Like you were a little kid playing an adult’s game. 

That’s how he’d always been though, ever since he first kidnapped you. He treated you like you didn’t know how to handle yourself in the real world. He acted like you needed him to watch your every move and teach you how to conduct yourself. 

That’s how your relationship had been before, when you were just a regular couple, but it was when you took notice of his gaslighting and tried to break up with him that he’d taken you. 

No, YN, you can’t keep getting distracted. Stay focused. 

Glancing back over at the front door to the apartment, you counted the locks once more. Three double-sided deadbolts, two padlocked latches. Somewhere inside the apartment were five keys Tendou never dared to leave without. You just had to find them. 

“I’m getting bored in here, could you at least slip me a deck of cards or something? Otherwise I might lose my mind.” The teasing lilt hinted at the smirk on his face. No doubt he was utterly, completely calm. He always was when it came to you, because he thought he knew you like the back of his hand. 

“Shut up in there, Satori!”

He snickered. “Well that was uncalled for.”

Like always, he knew how to get under your skin. Goosebumps rose on your skin, and you tried to shake off his taunts, dragging a hand through your hair with a deep breath. 

He can’t win. I won’t let him. He’s not getting away with this.

“How about a snack at least, darling, pretty please? The toothpaste is starting to look appetizing.”

Nothing, absolutely nothing. You couldn’t find keys in the living room or the kitchen, so you resorted to investigating the bedroom. 

When Tendou heard you approaching, he began to hum playfully. It was that song, the one he’d murmur while running his fingers along your skin, while tugging you in close after coming home from work. He’d whisper it into your hair at night, or you’d hear him singing it in the shower while you were still in bed. 

“You are my sunshine,”

You slammed open the door into the bedroom, trying to block out the voice that rang out from the door right across from you. 

“My only sunshine,”

Clenching your jaw, you began digging through the dresser, pushing aside clothes and feeling along the undersides of the drawers. 

“You make me happy,”

With a huff, you gave up, moving on to Tendou’s nightstand. At the sounds of your struggles, his voice seemed to get louder, grow clearer. 

“When skies are gray,”

Handcuffs and their keys, but none of which would fit the locks. You remembered when he’d first used them on you, the first night he kidnapped you. He was afraid you would do something “stupid” like try to attack him and hurt yourself in the process, so he’d shackled you to his headboard for your own personal wellbeing. 

“You’ll never know dear,”

You slammed the drawer shut at the sight of them and moved to feel under the mattress, trying to ignore all the crumbs and dust that gathered under your fingernails amidst the attempt. Tendou, meanwhile, just kept growing louder.

“How much I love you,”

Then you felt it. Metal. A whole ring of it, too. Five keys jingled together when you yanked them out from under the bed, almost falling onto your back from your overzealous force. You almost teared up at the sight of them.

I’m getting out of here. I can see my family again.

Maybe your life would never return to normal, not after what Tendou had done, but you could certainly try. You missed humanity. You missed the outside world. How long had it been since you’d seen green grass or felt the warmth of the sun on your face? How long had it been since you’d felt rain dampen your hair or traced your eyes along the stars in the sky?

Too long. Far too long. At some point, you’d given up keeping track, but not anymore. 

“Please don’t take my,”

You pulled yourself to your feet, misty eyes still stuck in wonder upon the ring of keys in your hand. 

“Sunshine away.”

Turning toward the door, you felt the keys slip from your fingers, cluttering loudly when they hit the floor. 

Tendou stood in the doorway, his head tilted to the side. A single red brow raised, his eyes wide with slitted, shrunken irises. He towered where he stood, spiky red hair close to brushing the top of the door. Long arms extended out and gripped the edges of the doorway, nimble fingers tightening around the wood. 

 A small smirk peeled back his lips.

“Well,” his eyes slipped down to the keys on the floor before gliding back up to your face, “nobody can fault you for trying.” 

Mouth open in shock, your whole body began to tremble. A drop of cold sweat slid down your back. 

His hands loosened from around the doorway, dilated pupils still latched on your form as he made his way toward you. When he stopped, he bent low, his breath brushing the stray hairs along your face as he snagged the keys from the ground with a tut-tut of his tongue. 

His other hand swept up and grabbed your chin, forcing you to close your mouth with a warning tap to your lip. 

“Guess I’ll have to find a new hiding spot, now, won’t I? Though, this certainly was the most fun we’ve had in a while, darling.”

You didn’t even flinch when his lips ran along yours. “Who knows?” he shrugged, pulling away. He tapped your nose with his finger before intertwining your hand with his, leading you from the room. “Perhaps, if you ever try this again, I could turn it into a scavenger hunt. Give you clues and such from wherever you try to trap me next.” He snickered. “Now wouldn’t that be fun?”

You didn’t respond, face turned toward the keys he’d tossed behind carelessly onto the bed. It was like he wasn’t worried you would make an attempt toward them. Like he wasn’t worried you’d ever get the chance. 

“Of course, like then, you’d be punished afterwards for trying, but isn’t that part of the game?”

“Punished?” you stuttered, taking the seat in the barstool he encouraged you into before releasing your hand, moving to the other side of the kitchen island to scour the fridge. 

He stopped his search, pulling out a carton of eggs and eyeballing the date. “Well surely you didn’t think you could try to leave me without there being consequences.” He didn’t even spare you a glance as you blanched. “But don’t worry, that fun will come later.”

Then he set the carton of eggs on the counter in front of you with an all-too pleasant grin on his face. “Now, how’s about eggs for breakfast, sunshine?”

Hinata Shouyou:

It’s when he’s approaching to kiss you that you are able to lock him up. 

It’s the first time he’s ever done such a thing; though he’s the one who’s kidnapped you, you are the one who dictates how far he can go before you pull away. 

Of course, he’d been disappointed the first few weeks when you didn’t want him to touch you or even see you at all. 

But after a particularly bad day, when he’d come home crying and bawling and tugging you into his arms, curling around you, you’d been given a little less leeway on just how much you could pull back from him. 

It seems, though he’d been addicted to you in general before, he was now addicted to your touch specifically. 

“YN, please! Why are you doing this?!”

He’d come home that night in a bad mood, and for some reason you were sure he’d talk your ear off about while hugging you on top of him on the sofa later. But right now?

…Right now, he had a different idea. 

“I’m tired of waiting, YN,” he’d whined as he approached, though there was a dark glint in his eyes. For every step he took toward you, you took one back. Step, step, step, step. He just kept following you. 

You hadn’t realized he’d cornered you in his bedroom until you felt the backs of your knees hit the mattress. 

“YN,” he hummed, rough hands cupping your cheeks as a strand of red hair fell over his eyes. “Can I just have a little?” His gaze fell on your lips. “Just a taste? I promise I won’t take any more.”

“Just a little.”

A flicker of pink as a smirk grew on his face.

I don’t want this. I swear I don’t want this. 

No! I don’t want it!

His face was so close you could feel the heat of his gasp mingling with yours the second your knee flew up to meet his groin. 

“AGHH!” he screeched, tugging himself away. Hinata dropped to his knees, hands cupping his crotch as he let out small, pained whimpers. 

That was when you ran out of the room, dodging his grasping hands and slamming the door behind you. You grabbed the first thing you could think of to shove in front of it. 

“YN-”

In a matter of seconds he was up and at attention, slamming the door against the sofa as you pushed it in front of the doorway. The hefty furniture effectively crammed itself in the small hallway of its apartment and limited the angle he could open the door to just a sliver. 

“YN! Please, don’t do this! Please!”

“Just let me out, we can talk about this!”

“I know you’re unhappy, but don’t you see I’ve been working so hard to change that? Please, just let me out!”

A single brown eye peered at you through the sliver of the door, pupil dilated and lid unblinking.

“I thought I was giving you enough, YN. What do you want? Do you want a puppy? My neighbor has the cutest dog, YN, I promise. You’d love it,” he pleaded, faux excitement tainting his voice. 

The single eye followed your every move as you paced around the apartment, mumbling to yourself about what to do, how to get out. “I could get your favorite food! It’s just down the street, I know you’ve wanted it. I was planning to get it tomorrow to celebrate our two-hundred day anniversary, but I can get it now if you like! Call it our one-hundred and ninety-ninth day anniversary! It could be our thing!”

“Please, YN, it could be our thing. Remember how we used to have things?”

You tried to ignore him. You really did. As you dug frantically through his cabinets and shelves, his desk drawers and bathroom cupboards, you considered shoving a couple cotton balls in your ears just to block out his nervous exclamations. 

The thought did cross your mind, but only for a second. Soon enough, the blood pounding in your ears was doing the job. Your mind fogged as you searched, struggling to believe that you had a chance to escape. 

Is this real? It was this easy all along? That was all I had to do?

Hinata’s cries weren’t helping your nerves any. Instead, you felt your shoulders grow more tense each time you heard his desperate, breathy voice. You felt like curling in on yourself and giving up. 

It can’t be this easy. What the hell is going on?

You glance back at the door, staring at the lock that lined it. You’d consider breaking a window, but you knew the apartment was on the fifth floor of the complex; jumping from that height would be a death sentence. 

You hadn’t completely lost your will yet. 

No, no. You just needed to find the keys. The door on the outside appeared normal, wooden. On the inside, though, Hinata had gone through the trouble of layering it with a few sheets of metal. One could kick the door in, but could not kick it out. 

The keys. 

Where the fuck are they?

“YN, I love you. So, so much. I just wanna see you, please! Let me see you at least.”

He pounded against the door with his fists, tremoring the door and the sofa, but not moving it. Tears pricked your eyes at the sound; you were so close, so goddamn close. You weren’t sure how Hinata was going to react after this if you didn’t escape, and you didn’t want to find out. 

“Fuck,” you hissed under your breath, eyes darting around the living room as your hands yanked at your scalp. “Fuck!”

“YN, please.” His was quiet, more forlorn than you were ever used to. “I don’t want you to leave me. I get so lonely without you.”

“Lonely, huh?” The words crawl up your throat before you can stop them. “You think you’re lonely?” A headache forms at your temples, but you ignore it as you storm toward his room. “You don’t know true loneliness until you’ve been trapped inside your crazy ex-boyfriend’s apartment, no friends, no family, for days on end.”

“You think you’re lonely, Shouyou? Try putting yourself in my shoes.” Frustration has formed a weight in the pit of your stomach. You feel glued to the floor waiting for his response, almost… almost, you supposed, hoping for an apology of some sorts. 

You loved him at some point in your life, and, no matter how insane he looked and sounded when he said it, he loved you too. You just wanted to know if he felt even an ounce of pity for what he had been putting you through. 

“Shouyou, I just-”

“You’re lonely, YN?”

You pause, voice caught in your throat. Hinata’s tone is tainted with nothing but genuine curiosity. Somehow, though, you feel like you’ve messed up. 

“I-...um-”

“Are you lonely without me?”

Shit. 

“YN.” You catch his eye in between the small opening of the doorway. His gaze is intense, suddenly focused and attuned to his surroundings. “Say it again.”

“Say you get lonely when I leave you at home. Say you miss me when I leave for games and practices.” There’s a creaking sound of sorts, but you can’t quite tell where it originates from. 

“Please, I wanna hear it again. Say you want me around all the time, that you need me close by so you don’t feel lonely anymore. Say it.” Breathy, yet goading. 

Shame and anger raise a heat to your cheeks, and you’re flustered that Hinata has misconstrued your words in such a way. You didn’t want him. No, you didn’t. What you wanted was to not be locked away and deprived of human contact like you were.

That was all. 

Creak. “You’re so cute when you blush. But don’t worry, YN, I won’t tease you. I’m just so glad that you’re finally being honest. Lonely without me? God, YN, I’m so in love with you.”

Creak. “I’ll never make you lonely again. I’ll make sure of it.”

Crack. 

Adrenaline in the heat of the moment allows people to do amazing things. You’ve heard stories of mothers lifting cars, people bending metal or jumping from buildings. Doing things that should be impossible. 

You supposed that was why it was so easy for Hinata in that moment, all riled up by your words and your actions in such a short amount of time, to crack the door in half. The one hinge the upper-half was still attached to allowed it to fly open, barely catching its splintered wood on the back of the sofa. 

One second, you watched in horror as the half-door slammed against the wall, rattling the hanged picture frames. 

The next, you saw a flash of orange before your back slammed against the wood flooring. A throbbing pain shot up your spin and down to your tailbone, but something sturdy and soft cradled the back of your head so your skull didn’t suffer the same fate. A weight, not necessarily overpowering, left you cemented to the floor, legs out flat as your arms lay limp at your sides, numb with shock. 

Hinata sat above you, on his knees and straddling your thighs. One hand, as you figured, was behind your head, lifting it so you could face him. The other, though, hovered over your face, trembling. 

A look of wonder was painted on his face as he watched you. And if you looked closer, you could have seen a hint of adoration. 

“YN,” he whispered, his hand finding home cradling your cheek. “I mean it.”

“I’ll never make you feel lonely again.”

And then he kissed you, desperately. 

And you hated yourself, despairingly. 

Because, deep down, you felt some vile, repulsive hope that he was telling you the truth.

When He’s Sick

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: too tired to write anymore. Hope you like it!

Word count: 653

Kageyama Tobio: 

“Don’t touch me.”

“I said don’t fucking touch me. I’m not sick.”

Absolutely tries to bury you six feet under with his glare anytime you come close with the cold cloth

Is the type to wrap up in blankets when and only when others aren’t around

Instantly tears them off the second you come back into the room and severely regrets this afterwards

Never, and I mean never, lets you feed him. Sorry.

Medicine is the one thing he’s willing to depend on you for, and because he’s such a pain in the ass when he’s sick, you make the best of it--

By proceeding to buy the most disgusting-flavored liquid medicine and turning a blind eye toward the pills he’d specifically requested. 

“They were out.” “How could they have run out? It’s literally just-” “Shut up, I said they ran out.”

Tries to hide his gag when he chokes down the medicine. 

A few hours later he’s so delirious from the medicine and the fever that he finally lets you baby him a little bit. You bury him in a mountain of blankets, press a cold cloth to his forehead, and kiss his cheek. 

“Cuddle me,” he murmurs, cheeks flushed and eyes half-lidded. 

He’snevergonnarememberthissofuckinggetitwhileyoucan you do as he asks

Next day he wakes up feeling better than ever, but you’ve started sniffling and coughing. 

“I told you not to touch me, dumbass.”

He takes care of you too.

Tendou Satori:

The sweetest, most obedient person you’ve ever seen. An absolute doll.

Just. Fucking. Kidding. 

“YN, get me this.”

“YN, get me that.”

The ultimate whining brat. 

I’m talking never shuts up, even when he’s ready to be knocked out on cold medicine. 

Will literally stop in the middle of a coughing fit to beg you for something. 

The king of “but I’m sick” 🥺🥺

At first you were really worried, wanting to help him get over the cold so he wouldn’t have to miss his next game. 

Now you’re wondering whether or not to just drive home and block his number for the next few days. 

Even when you go home for the night he texts you, asking for something or other. He wants you to buy him snacks or make him food or grab him a glass of water even though you’re not at his house. 

Let’s be honest, he’s absolutely thriving under your attention. He grabs your hand as you walk past his reclined position on the couch and drags you down next to him, muttering something about how scalp massages are supposed to help cure colds while he pulls your hand to his hair.

Won’t eat anything unless you’re feeding it to him. 

His inner five-year-old is finally coming out and you think he’s not gonna ask you to tuck him in? smh where have you even been this entire time

Finally, the charade ends when you burn your hand making him hot soup. 

The scalding liquid splashes up onto the back of your hand and the second you cry out Tendou is up and on his feet, sprinting into the kitchen and practically tripping over his own long legs as he slides to a stop in front of you. 

Assessing your furrowed brows and the way you cradle your hand, he grabs the cold cloth still stuck to his head before coaxing your hand away from your chest. He clicks his tongue as he wraps the wet fabric around your palm, running a thumb along your knuckles before raising his eyes to meet yours. 

“Better?” he whispers, pressing his lips to the backs of your fingers. 

“Much,” you smile, “but I don’t think I’m gonna be able to take care of you anymore.”

“Ahh, well then what’s the point of putting my thermometer under hot water anymore?”

“What?!”

Pretending to Moan Another Guy’s Name (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: Hehehe, I’m s i c k. Anyways, here’s a rly long headcanon that I’ve been thinking about writing for a while. Some are short and some are long, but hey, that’s life🤷‍♀️ Enjoy! (Side note: been a while since I did a milestone, but hey, this one’s huge--happy 4k y’all💜!!)

Word count: 2705

Oikawa Tooru: 

He’s dead silent, waiting to hear that name fall from your lips one more time just to make sure he wasn’t having a nightmare. 

“Ushiwaka…”

Nope. He wasn’t. He pinched himself five times to prove it. 

Oikawa can’t stand the thought of you dreaming about one of his greatest enemies. His hands curl into fists and his bottom lip gets drawn in by his teeth and, if you hadn’t been so busy trying to fend off your own laughter, you might’ve heard the small whine leaving the back of his throat. 

The bed shifts with Oikawa’s weight leaving it imbalanced and just when you prepare yourself to stop him in his tracks with a giggle, the bedroom door slams hard enough to rattle framed photographs of you and him on the walls. 

Okay… so maybe you had gone too far. 

Stunned into silence, it takes you a couple minutes to recover from your boyfriend’s outburst. When you finally find the strength to breach the cold air of one a.m. goosebumps rise along your skin and you decide to wrap a blanket around your shoulders. 

Lord knows damage control with Oikawa always required a solid chunk of time. 

You find him in the kitchen of the apartment, seated on a stool with his elbows propped on the oak-finished island with two fistfuls of hair and a downcast face. 

Unsurprisingly enough, your prank no longer felt like the genius idea you’d thought it was three hours ago. 

“Tooru?” Your voice is small so as to not disturb him, but his lack of movement makes you think you have almost been too successful in your efforts. 

“Tooru,” you move to lay your hand on his shoulder, “please.” However, the second you make contact he flinches away like you’d burned him. The room is silent once more, but as you keep your hand hovering over his back, you hear a quiet sniffle. 

Oh God, what have I done?

Without another word, you grasp both ends of the blanket and wrap both it and yourself around Oikawa, attaching yourself to his back with a tight enough grip that he can’t shake you off, which, trust me, he certainly tries his best. 

Like a fish out of water, he writhes and thrashes in your hold and in that split second that you think How the hell do I get him to stop this? he’s managed to wriggle himself so hard that the stool and you behind him lose balance, toppling to the floor like a Jenga tower. 

“Oh shit!”

Oikawa, ever so graceful, lands directly on top of you, his lean shoulders crashing hard enough into your chest that you wheeze out the oxygen trapped inside. The stool almost spun and clattered right on top of both of you before Oikawa kicked it away hard enough that it crashed against the metal fridge and slid all the way out into the living room. 

In the dead of night, the noises were loud enough to increase the ringing in your ears that had started when your head slapped against the linoleum floor. Oikawa was still squirming against you but for an entirely different reason now. 

“Fuck--YN, YN! Are you okay?” Still sitting on top of you, another breath gets squeezed out of your chest the second Oikawa rolls over to straddle you. One hand lifts your head, palming frantically at your scalp while the other shoves under your shirt to feel your ribs. 

“Could you,” you choke out, “get off me before I answer that?”

A startled scoff leaves his mouth before he slides off you and onto the floor at your side, helping you sit up while still trailing his eyes up and down your form to search for injury. Not that he could see much--the only light in the apartment was filtering through the kitchen window and came from the quarter moon in the sky. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” You bat away his hands but can’t stop your own from trailing up and rubbing your temples. “Are you okay?”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out his cheeks were damp with tears. From the way he sniffled to the way he blinked every .5 seconds, you knew tonight had been a sudden emotional roller coaster for him. 

“Yeah,” he glanced away nodding. “Yep, all good here.” 

“Bullshit.”

Oikawa gave you a scandalized stare and all you could do was sigh before scooting over to him, getting settled criss-cross style before palming both of his cheeks and yanking his face down to yours. 

“I know when you’re lying to me, Tooru, and I know exactly why you’re lying to me right now.”

His first instinct was to roll his eyes and pull away, but you pulled him back harder, hard enough that he flashed his wide eyes to yours in surprise. 

“It was a prank, babe.” Ah yes, the words that turn every boy into goo. 

Oikawa clenched his jaw and wrapped his hands around your wrists. “The “yanking me off my stool so I can crush your ribs” thing or the “I’m gonna moan your enemy’s name so you almost have a heart attack and cry enough tears to flood a river” thing?”

“The “I’m gonna moan your enemy’s name so you-’”

Oikawa slammed his lips against yours, effectively drowning out any of the dumb-ass explanations you had waiting on your tongue. 

“Your pranks are always so mean, baby,” Oikawa mumbles against your lips. “Do you know how much it hurt to think that you were dreaming about being with another man?”

“Did it even matter that it was-”

“No,” he pecks your lips once more before rising to his feet and tugging you to yours. “No, the name didn’t matter at all.”

“Well damn, that’s a shame, because I was stuck between moaning Ushiwaka or Kag-”

“Here’s the thing, sweetheart: I don’t wanna hear another name aside from my own come out of your mouth for the rest of the night. Understood?”

“I-”

“Understood?” You sigh. 

“Yes sir.”

Tsukishima Kei:

Ouch.

One long finger pokes into your cheek, hard.

You’d barely even gotten the first two syllables of the ginger’s name off your tongue before Tsukishima was at the ready, stabbing you in the face with a fingernail you were almost positive you’d seen being filed down just hours ago. 

Bastard must’ve been faking it.

“Don’t say that,” Tsukishima grunts out tiredly, accompanying a yawn with yet another jab. 

Part of you wondered if there was a point to even keeping up the act, but the other part was so pissed you almost wanted Tsukishima to worry that it was real. 

You mumbled the random nonsense of the average person waking from a deep slumber and opened your eyes just to squint at the blond in bed beside you. 

“Wha…?”

In pure darkness, you could barely see Tsukishima narrowing his gaze back at you, half because he was pissed and half because he was lacking his glasses. 

He thrusts a finger right in the middle of your forehead. “Don’t ever moan that name again.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” You fake yawn, closing your eyes before rolling over to have your back face him. 

“I’m not stupid, YN.”

“Are you sure about that, Kei?”

He scoffs. “Fine, then. I’ll play along to this pointless game.”

The mattress quakes as Tsukishima shifts onto his knees, grabbing your hip with a single hand and tugging it hard enough that your back presses flat against the sheets before he throws a leg over your thighs, straddling you with ease. 

“Is this what you wanted?” One hand of his grabs yours, pulling it up above your head. Your breathing is more like gasping at this point as Tsukishima trails his other hand down your side. 

“Were you trying to make me so jealous that I’d do this?”

“Kei…”

“‘Cause, YN, you could’ve just asked.”

At last, your other wrist is trapped and joins the one over your head, Tsukishima’s long fingers easily holding down both of your hands with just one of his. 

“So, do you want to tell me what that shrimp did to you in this “dream” of yours?”

“Kei…” Was it so hard to pull a juicy reaction out of him? You wanted hugs, tears, maybe even a little begging. 

Of course, leave it to Tsukishima to always find a way to be above you. 

Tsukishima can see the fight die in your eyes and his own glow in return. 

“Really,” he hums, “that was all it took?”

“Jackass.” 

“Don’t be a sore loser, YN. Plus, we both know that prank of yours was impractical at best.” He slides off you, returning to his side of the bed and propping himself up on a single elbow to face you. “I’ve heard you moan my name plenty of times in your sleep to know when you’re actually having a wet dream.”

The smirk on his face makes you warm and fuzzy yet angry all at the same time. In retaliation, you jab a finger into his forehead before spinning face away from him once again. “Don’t get too cocky there, Kei. One day I might actually dream about another guy,” you fold your arms, “then what are you gonna do?”

Two arms wind around your stomach before yanking you back into a firm chest, then a single leg creeps between the two of yours. “Please, we both know I’m the only man you even think about.”

Though he sounded so self-assured, the tightness of his grip spoke differently. You reveled in the idea that he was just a bit self-conscious of that fact. Because although you’d never say it to his face...

The smug bastard was always right.

Tendou Satori: 

“Semi,” you moaned.

“Semi,” Tendou mocked. 

“Mmm, don’t stop.”

“Mmm, don’t stop.”

At first, you almost choked on the drool gathering in your mouth the instant you heard Tendou fake-moan along with you. 

Now, it was a contest of how long you could keep a straight face. 

All the lights were on in the room. The blinds were yanked open and the birds chirping out the arrival of morning tweeted from a tree just outside the window. 

You’d woken up when Tendou left to take a shower itching to prank him. At the time, it seemed perfect. 

Now your chest hurt with how much laughter you kept locked inside. The second he stepped out of the bathroom with steam rolling off his body, you decided it was time to put your plan in motion. 

Oh what a mistake it was. 

“More.”

“More.”

Tendou squated right next to your side of the bed, crossed both arms on the mattress just two inches from your face, dropped his chin on top and proceeded to parrot your every word. 

“Harder. More, please Semi.”

“Yeah, harder Semi, you grandpa-haired, shorter-than-me, cries-at-the-Titanic-movie, girlfriend-stealing son of a bitch.”

And just when you sputtered out a breathless laugh, Tendou rose from his crouch and stalked out of the room, towel wrapped over his head and shoulders like a black Sith robe. 

In the kitchen, pots and pans clattered like Tendou was trying to get the attention of the entire city, at one point even walking back and forth in front of the doorway slamming two frying pans against one another. 

“Oh no, I can’t find that spatula!” your boyfriend called out before proceeding to toss out every single appliance in the drawer, allowing them to clang and clash against the wood like they were literally raining from the ceiling. 

What was funny at first was now a major issue for the rest of the apartment complex--it seemed Tendou had gone mad enough that he was risking getting (yet another) noise complaint that would once and for all kick you both out of the building. 

Ever so in a rush, you slid out of the blankets and made haste toward the kitchen down the hall, stopping in the doorway and dropping your jaw at the sight. 

Tendou, maroon eyes flashing with jealousy, held a porcelain plate up over his head with the obvious intent to throw it against the ground and create an even bigger mess. 

Luckily, his eyes darted toward you at the last second. 

“Hey,” he grinned with eyes so wide and hair so frazzled you actually thought he’d gone insane for a split second, “look who’s up!”

“Satori…” you made your way over to him, precarious step by precarious step. Tongs, pizza cutters, and ice cream scoopers littered the floor while all of your pots and pans lay on the countertop in a pile almost up to Tendou’s shoulder, “what the hell is going on?”

His smile faltered for a second before it came back even larger than normal; his eyes, however, stayed darkened. “Just trying to make breakfast! But I couldn’t find that damned griddle we use for pancakes.”

“Probably because we threw it out four months ago.” Uh oh, you’d finally broken him. 

“Oh…”

“Yeah…”

The pandemonium in the kitchen was nothing compared to the frantic look in Tendou’s eyes, though. They flitted up and down, up and down along your body, looking for something you were almost positive wasn’t there. 

Then he spoke. 

“So… how did you sleep?”

Tense. Tight. Deep. The question sounded like someone had strangled it out of him, and you didn’t dare glance up from collecting the appliances littered on the floor for fear of seeing the pain in his eyes. 

“Satori… I’m really sorry.”

“For what?” With arms full of disarrayed utensils, you hesitantly looked towards the sink where you aimed to drop them off, only to find Tendou bent over and waiting to meet your eyes. The words had slipped off his tongue right as you finished your sentence. 

“The moaning… like, when I moaned Semi’s name and stuff.” Maintaining eye contact at this point was basically impossible for you and instead you settled for watching your feet as they shifted your weight nervously. “It was just a prank and I didn’t think it would get to you so bad. I’m sorry. Really.”

The atmosphere in the room grew ten times stiffer, almost choking you up--you never thought such a thing was possible with a relaxed guy like Tendou present. 

Evidently, you were wrong. 

“It was all a joke?”

“Yes.”

“Like, it was just a prank?”

“Yes.”

“To see how I’d react and stuff?”

“Yep.”

“Phew,” Tendou pressed a hand against his forehead and let out a laugh. “Almost lost my cool there.”

Your jaw dropped to the floor and you glanced around at the kitchen. Tendou didn’t seem to mind your temporary shock, though, as he guided you over to the sink to dispose of the utensils before wrapping you in a hug. “Don’t ever,” he grumbled, voice suddenly deeper and huskier, “ever do something like that again.” Then he pulled away. “Now,” Tendou grinned, “how’s about we go out for breakfast?”

You stayed frozen in place, eyes flitting from the floor to Tendou’s suddenly normal smile back to the floor again. 

Then you kicked him in the shin. 

“Ow, what the hell was that for?!”

You sputtered out a laugh from deep in your chest that was bordering on maniacal. “Oh-ho no, I am so not cleaning up this mess. That’s your problem, mister.” Then you pressed a small kiss to his cheek. “I will, however, go pick us up some breakfast and bring it back here though.”

Then you yanked him into a hug and forced his ear to your lips, lowering your tone deeply and darkly. “And this place better be spotless when I come back.” You pulled back with a smile before skipping to the front door and Tendou could only watch with a gleaming grin on his face. 

God, he loved you.

“You better not be going to see Semi while you’re out!” He received the bird in return.

“Love you too, babe!”