South Park Headcanons - Blog Posts

My only post ever on here was months ago, so have another headcanon, South Park-based this time. Craig doesn't like any particular music genre. He's the type of person that'll just listen to anything, as long as it doesn't sound terrible.

Transfem Kyle hcs pt2 bc I need to talk man

I said in my previous post that she came out to Kenny first but I didn’t really elaborate on it dbbd

I think it was either during or after the sot saga

She was probably asking Kenny about how it felt being/playing a girl and the conversation evolved to her just saying smth like “doesn’t everyone want to be a girl sometimes?”

I don’t personally hold the genderfluid Kenny hc but it would fit here as well lol

She came out to Stan next then Ike, her parents and Stan probably just let it slip to cartman on accident

Maybe she went to talk with Wendy or smth but I can’t see it

The others probably found out when they started playing tfbw and cartman refused to let Kyle play

Stan maybe tried to be like “just let her play” and cartman was like “she’s a girl, I’m not letting her play”

They didn’t let Wendy play so I don’t see much of a difference here

Kyle just got tired of the in fighting and decided to not play, that’s probably when she started to hand out with the girls

Wendy definitely offered her a position as callgirls partner or smth

She didn’t want to tho bc she didn’t want to deal with cartmans shit lol

Im not a big style shipper (cough kyvid/k2 cough) but I do think cartman would up the dating jokes especially when Stan and Wendy are broken up

She plays volleyball bc I don’t see a universe where she’s a cheerleader

Also thank you for the support on these I genuinely didn’t expect any attention bdbd

If you have any questions about my hcs just ask and I’ll probably answer 🙏

staig headcanons:

• Dislike each other at first but slowly find out they have more in common than they think but both just keep waiting and silently wishing for the other to first initiate something

• They bond over their similar music taste

• Whenever Stan catches Craig staring he thinks he’s glaring at him and is afraid his crush hates him, Craig flipping him off whenever he gets caught also does NOT help

• Stan’s friends try to reassure him by saying that he would definitely be able to beat Craig in a fight because he kinda sucked in that Tweek vs. Craig episode

• Whenever Stan gets the chance he just approves or immediately agrees with whatever Craig says as a way to show his interest (sometimes mistaken as sarcasm bc of their rivalry) and hoping that Craig gets the hint but he will frantically deny ever liking him at all (this hc the other way around would actually be quite cute too)

• When Stan texts Craig for a school matter or for whatever reason, it always concerns him if Stan’s dry ass texting means he’s mad at him or not but when they get closer he finds out that’s just the way he is

• Stan sometimes gets in detention just so he can spend some more time with Craig instead of actually making a move on him

• The whole class mistakes their pining over each as a rivalry because they’re both shitty at admitting it and/or showing it

• Cartman would probably be spreading rumors about how eventually a fight is definitely gonna end up happening between those two but then it turns out that Stan and Craig are actually a couple instead

cryle headcanons:

• When Kyle gets pissed off and starts swearing Craig sorta admires it just because he wishes he could say the same bad stuff

• You know how Craig had asked to do Thomas his laundry before, with Kyle they could play laundromat together like how Kyle did with the others before like in the video

• Craig acts like a smartass but is actually a dumbass, Kyle acts like a smartass and actually is one

• Kyle would win in a physical and verbal fight (but I think Craig would think that’s cool about him but would also make him salty)

• Before Craig confessed he would stare at Kyle and get caught at the worst moments (for example when he’s picking his nose… (hc based on a TikTok and SP clip)

• They both are kinda nerds, Kyle has an Einstein poster in his room, Craig is a space and science nerd (Kyle has space stuff too in his closet!!) so they have someone to share their interests with finally

• Kyle is a morning person and Craig is a night owl (he won’t stop watching his shows)

• When studying together Kyle would mostly help Craig except the subjects Craig is really passionate about (physics, science, etc…) it would be the other way around

• Kyle doesn’t know anything about Red Racer at all (he’s out of the loop) but he listens anyways when Craig talks about it (Kyle gets kinda forced into liking it so then they can always watch it together)

• Craig would TRY to listen quietly when Kyle is pissed off and rants about stuff (mostly bc of Cartman…)

• They could make fun of people together (Kyle about Cartman and Craig about his friends but wouldn’t mind making fun of Cartman at all too)

• Cartman would tease Kyle for hanging out with Craig especially because Craig’s gay.. 😁

• Kyle always knows what to say and Craig never does (Kyle mostly initiates the conversations in the beginning even though Craig first approached him)

• Craig tells Kyle space and guinea pig facts at random

• Craig is more easygoing than Kyle, so he doesn’t really bother to be as passionate about what’s right like him but when Kyle gets mad at stuff in his stead, Craig does kinda appreciate him

• Kyle and Craig filming TikToks of Stripe together, Kyle convinced him because people love cute animal video’s and Craig knows that well too (that one ep of Craig filming animals with the wide camera lens) and maybe Craig could lend him that camera to film it so it’d turn out even better :)

• Kyle finding the real list and seeing Craig 1st place, being reminded of that one time he catched Craig staring at him while picking his nose and thinking ‘what do they even see in him?’

• Kyle being mad he lost the Halloween costume contest with his handmade solar system costume with the planets with them all even made accurately (in that one Halloween ep)! or something and even though he lost, Craig being mad impressed he did all that and does somewhat appreciate his costume

• Craig picking up the habit to say “You bastards!” from hanging out with Kyle whenever Kenny dies.

• Craig likes to show off, like by being a smartass, so he would try to impress Kyle

• Kyle sitting at his computer, looking intently, Craig walking by and asking “what are you doing…” “spreading hate on the internet” Craig sits down at a computer next to him doing the same

• Craig getting a nice tan in the summer, Kyle on the other hand getting absolutely sunburnt because he’s a pale ginger kid

South Park head-canons:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show was Cartmans childhood movie. His mom was on some pretty heavy drugs when he was 5-6 years old so she didn’t care much about what he was watching, this also further set them back into poverty so the only movies Cartman had at home were some VHS tapes and CDs Liane had from her childhood or her early 20’s. One of these CDs is The Rocky Horror Picture show. He ends up showing Kenny the Rocky Horror picture show when they’re both around 7, and then the rocky horror virus spread across their friend groups by the time they’re all teens.

SOUTH PARK MUSIC HEAD CANNONS⁉️

STAN:

Radiohead (hes.. a little bit of a ceeep, maybe a weirdo even)

Weezer (he’s such a fucking looser)

The Cure (based)

The Smiths (Bro is NOT aware of the morrisey scandals)

Deftones (he gets barely any game)

Bahaus

Primus

Siouxsie and the Banshees (he had a small goth phase, he was probably only introduced to the basics)

The entire Rocky horror picture show soundtrack (trust me please hear me out)

KORN

Metalica

Pantera

Judas Priest (BASED)

Black Sabbath

Slayer

Nine inch nails

The Living tombstones (he had a closeted fnaf creepy pasta phase and we all know it)

KYLE:

The beastie boys (he likes Jewish Rap)

Alice In Chains (BASED)

Marina and the diamonds

Mary J bilge (SHE CAN ADD WORDS TO THE DICTIONARY 🔥🔥)

The Cure (cannon)

Beck

Them crooked vultures

The smashing pumpkins (specifically 3 songs)

311

Gorilaz

Weezer (hes just like buddy holly, and a fucking looser)

Primus

Queens of the Stone Age

Queen

Black Sabbath

Billy idol

Ben folds five

Tears for fears

Depache mode

Soft cell

Duran Duran

Tears for fears

KORN

Eminem

Blue öyster cult

Blu Cantrell

The Smiths

Bôa

(I have a full playlist of this one)

KENNY:

Insane Clown Pussy

Blink 182

Weezer (LOSER)

MSI (listened to it illegally anyways so he wasn’t too sad about the news)

Primus

Eminem

Sir Mix a lot

Lemon demon (Two trucks holding hands)

Ayesha erotica

Kesha

All the Sailor moon themes (he watches sailor moon with Karen and he got into it)

Devo

Oingo boingo

Wesley Willis

CARTMAN:

Lady Gaga

Britney Spears

Katy Perry

Mitski (HEAR ME OUT OKAY, HIS MOM LIKES HER)

Marina and the Diamonds (bro relates to some of the songs)

Grimes

MSI (he doesn’t care to download stuff illegally, but he is a bit sad about the pedofillia part)

Ayesha Erotica (he eats every fem outfit he does he has to get his cunt serving genes from somewhere)

Melanie Martinez (he thinks he’s so badass listening to mad hatter but he’s actually just a fuckass)

PRIMUS

Wesley Willis

Alright so that’s my list I’m tired and I am being thrown around by adventure time and South Park like a tennis ball so I am not fully tisming out on South Park yet (might not be fully accurate)

Sure he does.

Stan Marsh headcanon;

He’s Queer/Unlabeled

in the episode where Eric becomes a girl so he can be in the girls bathroom because the boys is too packed, and Stan keeps saying he super confused about gender because of the third gender bathroom is so important to me. (I kin Stan).

Obviously you can take this and headcanon Stan as nonbinary (which i lowk do too), or him just being confused by the breach of gender binary, but as someone who is already a stan kinnie, AND is unlabeled; just want to bring up that idea. That stan is unlabeled/queer.

Something about him in that episode, it made me feel like it was deeper than just him being confused on a third gender bathroom. To him, it was like the concept that is gender was broken, he wasn’t just confused he was baffled.

This might just be wishful thinking but, it might’ve also made him reconsider his own gender. I mean from this point on, he keeps presenting male, keeps using he/him and keeps his life as a boy the same. But I always wondered if he felt insecure in that identity. He was secure in the way he was presenting himself, but he wasn’t secure as a boy.

I know it’s a stretch and projecting but I love the headcanon of it. That he WAS confused, and it DID make him think about his gender a different way, he understood that the boundaries that were placed on him weren’t really bounded by anything but societal expectation.

I like him being unlabeled because Unlabeled/Queer Stan is him dissecting the concept of gender to a point where he doesn’t feel like he fits in. He doesn’t want to have a gender, he is just Stan. (Can you tell I’m projecting).

He’s happy being masculine, he’s happy being referred to by he/him, and doing “boy” things, but thats just because he likes them, and they don’t dictate his gender. he understands that he is free. And just knowing he’s free from the gender binary is what makes him secure in his identity (or lack thereof).

You could also see it as; Stan understands that gender is boundless and is free, but ALSO continues being a cisguy because thats what makes him comfortable (maybe too afraid to step out of the gender binary, and just be aware of the non-binary genders) but he’s very understanding of trans identities.

but wheres the fun in kinning if i can’t make them me with hcs?

Sorry if this is just me yapping, lol. I just needed to get this thought out.