Sagau Brainrot - Blog Posts

HEADCANON: CHILDES FAMILY

I headcanon that childes family is very religious ( both in and out of SAGAU )

FONTAINE + SAGAU

So, we all know, and are excited for Fontaine.

But… SAGAU Fontaine.

Fontaine is the most technologically advanced, as a direct consequence Fontaines air is(hinted)to be polluted.

So, understandably, Creator reader is a bit mad that Teyvats air is being polluted. 

A bit mad that the archon of Fontaine is doing nothing to help and or find a way to help THEIR planet.

A bit mad that the people of Fontaine are not doing anything to help and or find a way to help THEIR planet.

A bit mad that Fontaine is sacrificing the wellbeing of their planet over boosting mankind up a bit, and they dare say that they did this to impress them?! 

When the archon of said nation was slacking off when reader wasn’t around!?

Yeah. 

Scratch “a bit mad” off.

The Creator is pissed.

SAGAU: 4 MORE OR LESS PT. 5

Let's pretend I didn't die for like a year JDKSJDJ

let's dive back in!!

------

The group is back and still fucking insane. /pos

they found insane in events, try to one up each other with minigames, the usual

+a new friend who joins in sometimes to either just watch or join in the fun!

Let's give some love to (some of) the characters I haven't written abt, shall we?

Alhaitham

Diluc has a new person to suffer with

"He could park that big Mac truck right in this li-" "shut"

Diluc and Alhaitham would be used a lot in the same team!

Diluc, watching them simp over Alhaitham: first time?

Tighnari & Cyno

They fucking adore these mfs ngl

Because at least 2 of them could fit Cyno or Tighnari interchangeablely

"Where do bees keep their documents?" "... Bees don't have docume-" "In the arc-hives" "SHUT U-"

Cyno would love learning new jokes and explaining them to Tighnari

And Tighnari would be fond of everyone's sass

Goofy little guys for sure

Wanderer

"REDEMPTION ARC FR!!"

Very happy he's finally playable, but one character is a bit salty they couldn't have his og design be at least optional

They would have so much fun goofing around with his skill and he would be amused asf

"It's over, Romeo! I have the high ground!!" "GET UR ASS DOWN HERE WE HAVE A FLOWER TO FIGHT"

Dehya

"Mommy? Sorry- mommy? Sorry-"

At least one of them whaled for her

"was it even worth it-" "FUCK YOU SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!!"

Taking Dehya to the desert to get her ascension materials <33

She'd probably worry if they don't care for themselves enough, maybe do less or more dmg to encourage those guys to take a break?

Extras!!

Using Wanderer, Keqing, Zhongli, and Venti to visit higher areas

During Childe boss fight, they move the fight to where all the mora is and Childe is very confused

New skins... But no money......

Full archon team!! The archon appreciate the extra time to talk amongst themselves

New bosses, new chaos

"GOD DAMN IT WHY DIDN'T ANYONE PICK A HYDRO CHAR" "we don't have any good ones!" "and you decide to use PYRO AGAINST PYRO?!"

Scaramouche boss fight is fun

"How dare you? Have you no dignity?" "We don't do shit with dignity!"

"Do you.. Wanna rephrase tha-" "I know what I said >:("

more soon!

SAGAU: 4 More or Less Pt 3

Warning: swear words, two trucks by lemon demon is mentioned

Reverse isekai time yall!!!!

Characters: Fischl, Bennett, Noelle

• ================================== •

to be honest, you’re a lot less surprised than you were expecting

‘characters from your favorite franchise pop out of the game/show/movie and into the real world, hijinks ensue’…

.. you feel like you’ve read this before

your friends? unsurprisingly not as chill as you

“SOMEONE SLAP ME I MUST BE DREAMING” “gladly—” “____ don’t.”

Fischl

depending on who’s the most into roleplay or dnd, they’d be the closest to Fischl

ya’ll this girl would absolutely love larping and cosplay

I imagine she’d first find out about it when you and your friends get ready for a cosplay and dnd convention (which I plan on writing properly)

“Oh great creators, I request thou may give thy Prinzessin more of this bubble te- Uhm.. am I interrupting something?”

they’d, of course, bring her along and tell her alllll about it

and lemme tell you, first day of the con, she’s already hooked

and within days, lo and behold! she becomes a regular cosplayer and the resident tumblr girl

you might wanna save up a bit more for tickets

Bennett

right off the bat, you hear a plate break in the kitchen

most of you rush to see what happened

aaand Bennett is frantically trying to sweep all of it out of the way while apologizing

ofc, you can’t be m a d at him

so u just help him bring the bowls to Noelle so she can make her pancakes :D

he’d be a bit bummed out bcuz of the lack of adventuring areas

I imagine he’d like korean bbq tho

whether you decide you all go out to eat, or you decide to make the food at home, he’d absolutely love how easy it was to cook it himself!

even with a few burns here or there, he’d still rate it at least 8/10

don’t give him any soy sauces with chilis tho

his absolute favorite thing though? online rpgs ofc

adventuring entirely other worlds??? without any hurt????? sign this precious boy up!

all in moderation ofc, he still loves exploring irl

I imagine he’d think of it as a break from the hurt

he always runs out of stamina tho :(

Noelle

SWEET BABY NOELLE—

she would try to do everything for you

laundry, cooking, cleaning, you name it

“as a token of gratitude for letting them stay” she’d say

she’d be amazed by the washing machine, lets be honest (aren’t we all to an extent??)

I feel like she’d always cook breakfast and some snacks, but that’s about it

anything else and she’d give ya’ll food poisoning /lh

but like, make sure to let her rest every once in a while, y’know?

bby needs her R&R

• ================================== •

Tags

@simpagettits (sadly it wouldnt load ur user 😔) @shizunxie

fuck it “SAGAU: 4 More or Less” sounds good enough

what should I name the sagau where reader has a chaotic ass friendgroup

the contestants are “SAGAU: 4 More or Less” “SAGAU: The more the merrier!” “SAGAU: Benny’s Adventure Team”

u can also suggest some bcuz mine are m e h

SAGAU: 4 More or Less Pt. 2

Warnings: a lot of swearing

I had fun writing the last one and ya’ll seemed to like it so part 2 baby lets gooooo

take a shot every time you see the word “imagine” “they’d” and “also”

• ================================== •

the moment the gang finally realizes the game was self aware was during a usual saturday session, music and all that

they were talking abt random stuff when suddenly

“Where is that music coming from??”

the group stops talking for a second like ???

“.. haha veeery funny ____, I can recognize your venti impression from a mile away” “ I’m pretty sure ____ said they were getting a sandwich like 2 mins ago” “a”

after a bit of freaking tf out they decided to try and talk with the characters

unfortunately (or fortunately), this doesn’t stop a couple of them from simping

like after every sentence that comes out of zhongli’s mouth, that one mf would always be like “hehe free asmr go brrrrr”

this also means a lot more annoying Childe

“ *sonic voice* UR TOO SLOWWWWW” “hehe zhongli ult go ☄️” “yall go behind childe during the whale atk, his blind ass can’t hit us from there”

needless to say, Childe would be giving a teensy bit more dmg compared to their first fight with the traveler

I imagine it’d be nice to have a bit more interaction with their faves other than the voice lines :’)

speaking of, they’d also have group wishing sessions where they gather all their primos and wish together so they can somehow combine their luck

“WOOO AYAKAAAAAA MY BABYYYYYYYY” “FUCK i got another diona >:( ” “have you tried getting good”

ayato and ayaka getting all the hugs I can tell you that much

some characters like Thoma would be confused why they would be so excited to see him

“FUCK YEA MY BBY THOMA CAME HOMEEE” “oh COME ON. c6 diona >:( ” “L” “____ I will find you and turn you into a fish”

I imagine they’ll also try to teach the chars about their devices, but they’re very bad at explaining

“Where’s that music coming from? I don’t see anyone around??” “oh! it’s pre-recorded music. so we can listen to it whenever” stuff like that

and oh archons don’t get me started on meme and vine references

“it is so bad, i want to give you a zero. but that’s not possible. so i give you, a one.” “SHUSH i didnt realize we were fighting the pyro flower” “BUT YOU HAD THE BALLS TO CHOOSE AMBER??” “TO BE FAIR I ONLY HEARD THAT WE WERE FIGHTING A FLOWER”

And at the end of each session, they’ll likely spend their time in the teapot to chill

• ================================== •

should I make a part 3 for just the character interaction?

SAGAU: 4 More or Less

Warning: swear words, two trucks by lemon demon is mentioned

this is just me dipping my toes into this sort of thing lol. I just wanted to get some thoughts out and I thought some of them were entertaining enough to be put out there.

• ================================== •

like imagine it’s mostly a normal sagau but after a while they get like 4 gods/goddesses

the characters would probably be able to see their player via a screen, only for them to suddenly be talking to 3 other voices without anyone being in the room w them??

Chongyun or Hu Tao would probably think there’s ghosts in their apartment

eventually they grasp the concept of discord calls

the group would probs help each other out with commissions, but more often than not would rather fuck around and fight different bosses

the characters would be terrified of the constant deaths, but since I don’t like angst, it would be lightened a bit due to how fucking chaotic the friendgroup would be

oceanid would be when they’re the loudest

“lol imagine dying to a crab” “OH IM SORRY MISTER/MISS ‘LEAVE IT TO ME’, NOT EVERYONE HAS A LVL 87 NOELLE JUST SITTING IN THEIR CHARACTER ARCHIVE” “NOELLE IS BEST GIRL AND YOU KNOW IT”

As for the characters, it depends on what’s happening/who’s on the team (ima be focusing on like my most recent chars)

Bennet, Fischl, and the other kids would most likely learn gen z slang from them

“I, Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung, descend upo— Oh, traveler, it’s been a minute.”

then they all turn around like ???

Zhongli would be confused but will try to use the slang occasionally (much to the players’ dismay)

“If you'd like to see Liyue's tourist spots, I have a few references that ‘hit different’.”

meanwhile the players are just sobbing in the corner like ??????????????

alternatively, there would be times where the players would just,,,, walk around

maybe just chill in a random area with music in the bg and talk

I’d like to think they’d take turns playing music, and their music tastes would vary to an insane degree

So all of teyvat would be vibing to The Oh Hellos and then all of a sudden Two Trucks is playing

“wait what song is thi—” “TWO TRUCKS HAVING S-” “NOT THIS AGAIN” “LMAOSIDJSKKD”

Overall, they’d just be some chaotic peeps doing stupid shit together and beating up childe for fun <33

• ================================== •

why has no one told me about self aware genshin tumblr /pos

Adding my own SAGAU brainrot to the pile

Creator!Reader | Word count: 1551

Someone is speaking.

It’s in a language you don’t recognise. But you still gravitate towards it without a second thought. You haven’t seen anyone in months. Haven’t heard another person speak in just as long. The whole living as a Disney princess off the land had been going pretty well so far; you had ample food, water and shelter. But you were lonely. Squirrels and birds were cute, but they didn’t understand you. You previously had never gone over a few days without speaking to someone that would speak back. And the lonelier you got, the more uncomfortable you became. Hyper aware of the cold and your lack of shoes, unable to relax due to the roaring sea that crashed constantly against the nearby craigs.

You pause as you reach the edge of the forest. Peering through the thin trees to the sandy beach you had woken up on only a month ago. There’s a woman there, muttering to herself as she paces along the length of the beach. She is also dressed as the character Yelan from Genshin Impact. Blue Hydro vision replica and all.

Still. She’s the first person you’ve seen in months. The first person you’ve seen since you woke up on this beach. It’s not weird enough to dissuade you from making your way down to the beach.

“Hello?” you call out.

For a moment you think she might not have heard you. That your voice, brittle with disuse, was overwhelmed by the crashing waves. You open your mouth again to call out to her again, when she turns sharply towards you.

The words she speaks are just as unfamiliar as before. But the fact that they’re spoken by another person is more than enough to fill you with relief.

“Hello,” you say again. Hopeful that that word is universal enough that she will recognise it as English. Even if she doesn’t speak the language. “Can you understand me?”

The woman—you try not to think of her as Yelan—looks at you consideringly. She takes a step forward, hands flexing at her side, before pausing.

“Greetings,” she says, bowing shallowly. Her accent is entirely foreign to you. Rolling the r and placing hard emphasis on the consonants. It makes her tone sound harsh, even though her body language and voice are relaxed.

You smile uncertainly at her.

“This envoy has been searching for you.” Her words are spoken with obvious care. It’s apparent from the concentration on her face, never mind the awkwardness of her speech, that her English is not fluent. But it’s such a massive relief to find out that she can understand you at all. You can’t help the relieved grin that works its way across your face. There was an envoy? A search party? Send out to find you after all this time? You had half given up on the possibility of ever seeing civilization again.

“Thank you. You’re a live saver. What’s your name?” You ask, after telling her yours.

She looks at you with the same assessing gaze. Taking you in; your scraggly hair, your threadbare clothes, your bare feet.

Whatever it is she’s looking for, she seems to find it. Because she crosses the distance between you, pulling her coat off her shoulders and throwing it over yours. It’s far too narrow to fit comfortably, but the fur trim against your face is so incredibly soft that you can’t resist the urge to brush your cheek against it. You snap out of it a second later, looking down at her with an embarrassed grin.

“This one’s name is Yelan,” she says.

It makes you frown. Maybe she really was nothing more than a weird cosplayer. But even so, this was still a person. One that presumably had a way off this island.

If she was even real. Your heart lurches at the horrible thought that this was some kind of mirage, crafted by your loneliness. An illusion would disappear the moment you took your eyes off her.

Moving faster than you thought possible, you grab her wrist. She feels real. Her arm is solid and warm beneath the thin material of her sleeve. You think you can feel the beating of her hard beneath your fingertips, but it’s just as likely to be your own.

“Sorry, I just-“you drop her hand. Abruptly aware of what you had just done. “Sorry I didn’t mean to. Please don’t leave me here.”

You do not look up and see her expression. Embarrassment and shame mixing in your gut. Instead, keeping you eyes fixed on your feet.

“This one will not leave Guyun Stone Forest alone,” the woman says softly. “Follow.”

She leads you to a shockingly large boat moored not far off the beach. You wonder how it was possible to have missed it. But you know the answer just as quickly as the question had crossed your mind. You had been far to occupied wallowing in your own loneliness in your makeshift shelter. Hidden away from the elements and the outside world alike. You wonder if there were any other similar vessels or search parties you missed.

A hush falls over the vessel as you board. The crew glancing nervously between themselves as Yelan helps you from the rowboat onto the deck.

The silence is cut by the sound of a woman yelling something, in that same unfamiliar language. You look towards the sound and are shocked by the sight of another woman dressed as Beidou. Electro vision catching the sun light as she walks towards them, chatting jovially all the while.

You are suddenly hit by the thought that what if there are not just a bunch of cosplayers working in search and rescue. After all what kind of search party had access to an eighteenth-century style vessel with canvas sails and rigging? You look up, towards the crow’s nest, and sure enough there’s a young man there dressed like Kaedehara Kazuha.

You look back down at the woman dressed as Beidou. You look at her vibrant purple eye, her overly confident demeanour and say, “Beidou?”

The woman, Beidou, tilts her head to the side as she says something that you assume to be a greeting or acknowledgement of some kind. She looks to Yelan with a predatory smile speaking all the while.

You don’t have much time to process the revelation before Yelan is grabbing you by the upper arm and leading you beneath the deck. Grip far too firm to be a mere suggestion. You suddenly feel incredibly overwhelmed. Is this some kind of Isekai scenario?

Yelan opens a door to a cabin, escorting you inside and finally letting you go. The cabin is sparse, little more than a bad nailed to one corner with a hempen blanket, and a bucket in the other.

“You’re name… it’s really Yelan right?”

“Do not leave this room,” she says in lieu of an answer. “Listen to the captain, listen to this one. This one promises Your Grace will reach the shores of Liyue Harbor safely.”

She leaves. Locking the door behind her.

You watch the closed door with disbelief. Waiting a moment before checking the latch, verifying that it really was locked—it was—before sinking to the ground in a daze.

And just like that you’re alone once again. Only this time, rather than being stranded on an island surrounded by friendly fauna and the open sky, you’re stuck in the dank hull of a ship all by yourself. You want to curl up in a ball on the bed. Only you can feel the boat creak and shudder around you. You’re too scared to move from you perch on the floor, one hand braced against a bed leg. Scared that the moment you let go the boat will lurch, and you’ll be flung across the room.

You realise that Yelan (Yelan from Genshin Impact) said that you would reach the shores of Liyue Harbor. But she never said what would happen afterwards.

It is, by far, the worst possible scenario. You can feel the panic building inside you. All-encompassing, loneliness forgotten. You feel the sting of betrayal. You had followed Yelan in good faith. Thinking that she was your path to rescue, your safety line. Only… for this.

The boat lurches, waves crashing deafeningly against the hull. It drives all thought from your mind other than fear. You’ve never been on a boat like this before. Never been beneath deck in a ship where you could smell wet wood. Where the ship was weak, flimsy enough that you could picture it smashing against the water after the drop from a tall wave.

The ocean only becomes more violent as you fall further into your state of blind panic. Louder and louder. More and more violent. You realise now, just how gentle the waves against the rocky outcrops of Guyun Sone Forest had been. The bucket, the only loose thing in the room, starts rolling around. Getting thrown around more and more violently as the boat crashes down on the uneven sea, again and again and again.

You know without a doubt, that this is the worst day of your life. You wonder how long the voyage to Liyue Harbor is meant to be.