Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Remus, as a teacher: you see, Severus, as the brainless immature assholes we were as young people, I do think that we have changed to better. And, for what's worth it, I like having you around. Snape: no, you don't. Remus: Remus: fuck, you're right. Remus: sometimes I have dreams where I castrate you.
James: what is blue and not very heavy? Person on the airplane: *has a heart attack* James: light blue!! James: *draws a heart on person's dying body*
James: Which brand of underwear do scientists wear? Lily: James, I don't want to be rude but I'm giving birth- James: Kelvin Klein! *laugh*
sirius: hey snape snape: what sirius: i have come to deliver you a present sirius: it's a bath bomb sirius: you put it in the shower and let the magic begin snape: black, this is a toaster
james: oh sirius! i've been looking for you!
sirius: ok?
james: i thought about this and i wanna ask you something
sirius: go on.
james: why isn't germany's currency called germoney?
sirius: ...
sirius: no. seriously now, dude.
regulus/lily: *exists*
james, appearing all of a sudden: i'm here, what are your two other wishes?
sirius: remus
remus: yes? *starts to create images in his head*
sirius: there's something i've been meaning to ask you for a while...
remus: *starts tearing up but acts dumb* yes?
sirius: why is james standing like that?
james: *stands on his head*
remus: *does literally anything* every living thing on earth: NO
regulus: knock knock james: who's there? regulus: when where james: when where who? regulus: at 9, astronomy tower, me and you james: james: please kill me
marlene: knock knock peter: who's there marlene: can you do a favor to peter: can you do a favor to who marlene: can you do a favor to me and give me your mom's phone number? thanks peter: *starts crying*
remus: I WAS IN THE FUCKING ELEVATOR
remus: fuck me, fuck you, fuck the president, fuck your mom. --- sirius: i don't dress to get paid. i dress to get layed. sirius: *laughs hysterically at a fly* ---
james: COME AND FUCKING EAT BITCH james: no. shut up, you are amazing and you deserve love. --- peter: ...i don't need that shit, i have biscuits and frogs peter: i for one second thought you were more mature. i was wronger than answer a. --- marlene: and you're gonna spend valentine's day alone or what??? marlene: i agree. i'd look like the typical 12 year old boy who dyed his hair for the first time if i dyed my hair blue --- lily: [name] stop being a pussy lily: nobody mentally stable here? --- dorcas: *gets up on chair* I'M GAY dorcas: he invited you to McDonalds???? damn i wish i'd have a partner like that --- mary: what in the name of motherfucking fashion are you dressed in??? mary: i am beautiful no matter what you say. i am a guru. --- regulus: WHY THE FUCK DOES NOTHING GET TO MY HEAD?? regulus: i'm not here to listen to your shit, goodbye
sirius: *exists*
remus: *cries*
remus: why the fuck do i have to be so gay???
james:
peter:
lily:
marlene:
dorcas:
mary:
hogwarts:
the staff:
dumbledore:
scotland:
great britain:
europe:
earth:
solar system:
milky way:
universe:
sirius: *turns around*
James: I need you to swear---
Sirius: fuck.
James: I meant like promise---
Any marauder: is there a spirit in this house?
Ouija board: yes.
Any marauder: good, the rent is 750 every month and is due every 1st.
Ouija board: w-t-f?
Remus: I have an empty notebook and I have no idea what to put in. Any suggestion?
James: Put spaghetti in it.
Remus: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone excepting you.
Sirius: put spaghetti in it.
Remus: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone exceptin----
Peter: put spaghetti in it
Remus: I am currentl---
James: put spaghetti in it.
Remus: I am no longer taking suggestions.