Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Living With Adhd - Blog Posts
It's my 3 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
Happy birthday to us I would like the opportunity to warn everyone. I am getting worse.
Introducing
Der Monster, The one who helps, the narcissist.
Seb, The silver tongued devil, the bard.
Arty, the Wordserker, the friendly neighborhood nice guy.
Wolf, we don't talk about this.
Apparently calendars are useful when you realize you can write stuff on it. And they somehow serve a purpose if you hang it somewhere you are going to see every MINUTE of the day (i.e. Fridge, next to the front door, next to the couch)
I feel less overwhelmed with remembering stuff since it's right THERE!
Some things about me:
• I’m about to turn 19.
• I live at home with my parents in a two bedroom house.
• I’m an art student.
• I can’t afford to pay for college.
• I can’t afford to pay for rent.
• I can’t afford to buy my own food.
If you want to know my story, please keep reading my blog.
If you want to donate, my PayPal is https://www.paypal.me/honeyperidot, I don’t have a bank account for myself but I send all money from my PayPal to my friend and she withdraws it and helps me buy what I need.
I only use the money for necessities. I appreciate every single person who donates or reblogs.
If anyone can help, I have to start paying rent and cover my own food costs (which I’ve already done for two years) from Tuesday if I’m to stay in my parents house. I turn nineteen this year and my parents made me drop out of school so I don’t have any qualifications and I’ve never been accepted in jobs.
Someone very kindly gave me money earlier in the week towards cat food and I’m so happy to say I have enough food to feed him until about Saturday (3rd of June) but help towards that would be amazing too, his cat food costs 13£ for dry food and 4.50£ for wet food. We have some dry food left for him but he eats Nood which is a really good one for his stomach (he suffers with IBD and his medical bills get pretty expensive (up to 150£ a month for checkups and medicine) but my mum currently covers those but I’m not sure if she’ll stop doing that.
Literally anything will help me at this moment, standard cost of food a week is about 20-30£ for me and rent is about 60£ a week (I know it’s 260£ a month for me to stay at home because that cost also goes towards electric and gas.)
If you can spare any money please please do, and if you can’t, then please reblog this, your help means the world to me, literally.
My PayPal is https://www.paypal.me/honeyperidot
I feel so vindicated rn
i’m currently obsessed with 3 different fandoms that have absolutely nothing in common and i want to write about a hundred thousand crossover fics
thank you to the internet for making it so that every time i listen to this song, i can hear funky town too.
belial
won't you take me to
behemoth
funky town
I always get asked if I’ve got music in my head because I’m always moving my head and tapping, but in truth I’m just stimming. I say yes.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so resentful, that I wasn't so hateful at times. Hatred does consume your soul in a way. But I can't help it. And for the love of God sometimes I wish people would just understand that.
Like all throughout places like special ed school, or even support groups, I would get bullied relentlessly by people who were neurodivergent or had a mental illness of some kind, and I'd get told "they can't help what they do, just ignore it" or "be nice to them regardless, they already have it hard as is", but I, with the same neurodivergenies and mental illnesses, never get afforded the same treatment. Why don't I get treated like that when my mental illness or trauma makes me say some fucked up shit? Or have violent thoughts? Or have outburts?
Even here on tumblr all I hear is "support people who get angry or violent from mental illness" and stuff like that, but the exact same story. They say something genuinely hurtful, they get defended because they "can't help it", but when I have an episode, I get degraded even further.
Just fuck all the way off. I get it. I fucking get it. I'm the unwanted here. Everybody else is more important than me. But you don't have to be mean about it, and at the very least, don't degrade me for something you defend or even praise others for.
I need fellow friends who are also struggling. Doesn't matter online or offline but I'm tired of venting to my friends about how hard it is to juggle all my responsibilities in a body that's actively trying to not be alive, only to hear "damn that sucks" or "I believe in you" when you know they live with loving parents who provide everything for them, and don't have to put up with a body that's mentally and almost physically falling apart.
Of course I'm happy for those people but I don't think people fully grasp how much dysphoria, depression brain damage, and a broken relationship with your parents, sets you backwards in life. And tbh I need friends who can relate to at least 2/3 of those things just so we can talk about our shitty problems while having fun idec what.
please hmu
Not to be a hater but I genuinely hate the fact that people get disability checks for stuff like autism when I'm here, suffering crippling depression and dysphoria, as well as a health condition that makes endurance and stamina incredibly hard, juggling college classes, a job, and general life maintenance because I live alone, relying on financial aid for college students that disappears the moment I graduate(or get kicked out), and then my minimum wage job.
Idk, it just almost feels offensive to be juggling all that, when there's people who claim disability checks because they just find it so hard to talk to people, or because they're unable to focus on anything, and then they just sit on their ass and play videogames in their childhood bedroom all day, or in the free housing apartment they got.
People will call me jealous, and, well, yeah? Of course? Like wym somebody is getting free housing, free insurance, and free income while just sitting at home all day, when I'm constantly managing all the aforementioned and I get told to "just man up"
Fuck all the way off. I'll never support neets no matter how much they claim they're "fighting the system". You're an adult baby, and it's time to grow the fuck up.
Does anyone with food sensitivities ever get food they like delivered and after meticulously looking through it to make sure it's safe to eat you take a bite and feel the crunch of an onion. Me: Screaming, crying, gagging, heaving, entire body crinkles like aluminum foil.
Just me? ok cool
Me whenever people be talking about dumb shit at work, like bitch I DON"T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT YOUR LIFE, GO AWAY, then I calm down and feel a little bad, ONLY a little though
my stupid a*s 😂
"How do you have so much energy all the time ???"
I don't, I'm constantly tired but I'm also being the class clown because I have abandonment issues and adhd
I confess, I tend to feel bad about my art and my productivity. Like : Look !! These artists are doing it !! Why can't you !! But then I go back into my previous work/projects of the year and realize wow ! no ! that's my ADHD brain talking !!
First reblog I hope I am doing this right 😅
i feel like i had a massive breakthrough with understanding in hindsight how adhd has affected my relationship with art, and i sat there for about an hour just like
Just a friendly reminder to all who have prescriptions to look up the FDA or manufacturers information about your medications because you might find some very useful information like a cheaper generic brand or in my case learn that the blood flow problem’s in my fingers and toes are probably a side effect of my medication.
Undiagnosed, female autism is hyper fixating on famous actor, Marlon Brando, when I do not like his movies, I did not like his acting, and with all that I did everything I could to study and research everything about the actor and his life. This included his unspoken mommy issues to reading his biography and listening to the audiobook that was read by him, watching a really personal documentary that was released 5-10 years ago that really should not be released to public because it was something that was meant for him and his therapist (entirely made from tapes he recorded).
All of my drama class projects that year, all connected to him, or about the golden age of Hollywood movies in the 20th century and all of my projects included him as an actor and some of those movies.
The worst and most confusing thing of ALL was that I didn’t even find him attractive. Again, didn’t like his movies, thought his acting was mediocre, found his personality off putting and personally not my type BUT I Scavenged the entire Internet to find everything documented on the guy - to rumors about him being Bisexual which lead me to that one photo of him with a penis in his mouth (I don’t know if that was photoshopped) to watching all of his really shitty overrated movies.
To reiterate - I hyper fixated on a dead person who I should have not had an interest in but I did :/
Lol, my favorite thing is an alarm, I need to take my meds, so set an alarm for it. Study Time puts the alarm at the beginning and the end so I don't over just in case I have something else to do. P.S. Not everyone needs to do this but I like to label the alarms so that remember what to do when the time gets there.
adhd study affirmations + tips to stray from discouragement by a stem student with adhd.
you’re not always going to be consistent. you’re not always going to be motivated. you’re not always going to be efficient. and that is okay.
and the fact that you even got this far is an accomplishment in and of itself. In this line of work, people aren’t always the kindest to neurodivergent people especially since our symptoms can often hinder our performance academically.
if you’re good to go after reading the above, I’ve also made a post regarding adhd study tips that I haven’t seen anywhere else. But, if you’re burned out like me, feel free to keep reading.
honestly, these might serve a bit more as reminders because they’re kinda simple but even I needed this, so, here we go.
do not seek advice from anyone neurotypical unless it genuinely helps you. I cannot tell you the amount of time and tears I could have saved if I just considered the fact that just because popular self-improvement tips or study techniques didn’t work for me, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid or useless. It simply means our brains isn’t motivated by the same things neurotypical ones are, and therefore a lot of popular self-improvement videos or study tips aren’t going to work for you because 90% of the time, they’re not designed to work for neurodivergent people. So if you’d like to seek help in this area, look for tips and videos that ARE for neurodivergent people.
you might experience burnout a lot more than others. again, that is fine. if this doesn’t apply to you, great! Feel free to skip to the next tip/affirmation. If this does apply to you, read this carefully; if you’ve had any sort of streak in studying right now, chances are you know at least a portion of your studies were led purely on interest, curiosity or even novelty, as these are what keep us engaged in our studies. Knowing this, it is natural for you to experience burnout more frequently than others due to the possible hyperfixations that have been forming around your work. If you get burned out, please remember to take a break for a day and make sure it is efficient. Like your studies, your breaks are the key to having efficient study sessions in the future. So please treat yourself, especially if you’ve been working extra hard!
do not admire studious fictional characters unless it genuinely helps you or they too are neurodivergent. I know this technically could have been thrown in with tip number 1 but I felt like this tip alone is so important, because nowadays I see a lot of study tips with the title, ‘how to study like (insert studious fictional character here)’ and when I look at the post it kinda repeats the same few study tips I see all the time like ‘stay organized’ or ‘time block your day’ and I feel like admiring fictional characters who do things that don’t work for you can be damaging for your mental health, because we’re already told by neurotypical people all around us that we’re slow or lazy just because we don’t do things the way they do, and I think idolizing neurotypical people that make us feel bad at the end of the day just further promotes that kind of toxic thinking.
expect that a routine/schedule/technique that has been working for a while now may not continue to work in the future. things will always have to be new for us to be interested or engaged, that being said, if you expect this in the future you won’t be frustrated with yourself because you already had this in mind. It doesn’t mean you’re not smart. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy. It doesn’t mean you’re useless. It just means that you’ve done what you could, and now it’s time to move on to another routine/schedule/technique.
keep doing the things you love alongside work. I find that because our symptoms may cause us to fall behind on our studies, we tend to neglect our other needs as human beings just to make up for the fact that we simply do not learn or pick things up the same way neurotypical people do. Your hobbies and interests need to be part of your day, just as your studies do, even if you may take longer to learn things or remember important concepts in your studies. Neglecting your hobbies or interests can lead to even more frequent burn outs and even a relapse in depression and anxiety, so please take care of yourself and recognize that you need and deserve these things just as much as anyone else.
regularly discover what works for you on your own. here’s the thing; neurodivergent or not, no two brains work the same. Of course it is good to try out advice or tips you find online because they’re backed up by experience, but they’re backed up by that person’s experience with working with their own brain. So naturally, you need to find what works with your brain. Be open to trying everything, even the tips that are discouraged like listening to lyrical music while studying. That was the only way I learnt that this tip actually does help me at times, even when many people have said that it negatively affects your focus.
that’s all I have right now guys, I think I’m experiencing burn out or probably falling back into depression again so more than anything this also served as a reminder for me, but I really hope it also helped you guys nonetheless.
As always, tell me if you guys would like more posts like these and I’ll be happy to make more <33 please take care of yourself guys, and remember that your studies is just one aspect of your life. There are other aspects that need your care and attention too.
This poster is from the book ‘Talking about feelings’. It’s from educate 2 empower. It’s great for kiddos like me who have a hard time explaining and understanding their emotions.
How do I get up to change into something more comfortable, and proceed to walk around, play a couple of songs, dance to the kitchen, make myself a snack and then go back to where I was and notice that I need to change into something more comfortable, like tf
Ughhhh I ordered new nibs for my digital art pen(because the old one fell out) and they came today but they were the wrong damn type.
My inspiration/motivation isn’t gonna last much longer ;-;
Talking is so difficult!!! How do I know when the other person is done?? I interrupted my friend about 9 times in one bout of her talking bc I don't know when I can start talking. I wish everyone gave me little cue cards that told me when they were gonna be done so I can add in my little jokes.
I am the court jester and I keep accidentally interrupting the king's big speech and he is getting close to beheading me.