Is This Love - Blog Posts

kse22chili

6 months ago

Unrequited love

I feel you around me. You’re everywhere and I can’t get you out of my mind. I love how red your face gets all the time. I love it. The only thing I admire most in this world. I was out with my friends, one of them was all red in the face because of the cold weather but the first thought that came to my mind was exactly you, with a red face. It’s so unique to me.

I don’t know if this is love. I don’t think so. I’ve never even talked to you.

You stare at me. You continuously look at me. But I don’t know why. You don’t talk to me. You don’t dare make the first move. You observe me from afar.

And I think: “What if he’s only curious about me? What if he’s only looking absentmindedly?…”

But I know too well that none of that is true. He isn’t curious.

But I don’t know how to define this.

I attempted making the first move. But he turned it down immediately.

And the next day. I see him again. I had left my glasses in my class, I was having a terrible headache and I just wanted to go meet my friend. So I go downstairs and walk towards my friend’s class. He comes close to me, I stare quickly at him and then I avert my sight to the other side, avoiding him at all costs.

I’m talking to my friend, and she tells me: “He was looking at you!”

I bewildered look at her.

I need help. He is making me go out of my mind. Can’t God help me with this. Or remove him from my life to stop tormenting me, or just make him do something that makes me at least have a talk with him, so I know what his intentions are.

I can’t live like this.

He makes me anxious. Conscious of myself. Before I get out of class, I fix my hair and my makeup. And while going to my friends, I always look around for him. Even if i’m blind. I find him somehow.

Is This Love?

Luffy x Male Reader. Angst and fluff. I said slowburn but this is more average burn, my bad. 2235 words. Small allusion to Whole Cake Island. Part one, Part two, Part four

Desc: Sanji reminisces on his conversation with Luffy with you and then other stuff happens.

Sanji flicks at his lighter, finally lighting his cigarette and taking a breath as he looks onto the night sea. He’s on nightwatch. ‘Well, I was going to be awake in 2 hours anyway.’ He tells himself, considering he wakes up at 5am. ‘Wonder how Luffy’s holding up.’ He remembers that the captain was restless before, he hopes that wasn’t enough to make him fall asleep on duty. ‘I’ll check up on him.’ He turns and walks over to Luffy’s side of the ship, seeing the rubber man laying down on the Sunny’s head. ‘Is he seriously asleep!?’ The chef runs up to the head. “Luffy! Hey!” No answer, but when Sanji hops onto the figurehead to scold him he finds his friend with his eyes open. Awake, just… silent. “What’s up with you?” He’s confused.

“Sanji, can you-”

‘He’s going to ask me to make him something, isn't he.’ It clicks in Sanji’s mind, however..

“-tell me about romantic love.” it isn’t that at all. Sanji’s eyes widen and he almost chokes on his cigarette. Love? Romantic love? And this question is from Luffy!? “...Is this… about (Y/n)?” He asks cautiously and Luffy nods. That explains it. “So this is why you were restless.” He sighs, not knowing whether to be anxious or relieved that this is the reason his captain’s been acting off. “You don’t have to force yourself to learn about it, Luffy. (Y/n) isn’t the type of guy to need that out of you.” A cloud of smoke is let out into the night air. “He’s probably already moving on from it.” Instead of a hum or answer Sanji sees a frown on Luffy’s face. ‘What’s with that look?’

“He’s moving on so easy? He said he was in love with me, but he’s already getting over it?” There’s an upset tone in his voice.

“Why are you complaining about it?” Sanji’s confused, he knows Luffy to be bratty and selfish at times but like this? “Were you planning to just lead him on?” Luffy looks up at the chef.

“Lead him on?” He tilts his head.

“Yeah, string him along. Keep him always loving you even if you don’t feel the same, just because it makes you feel better about yourself. Not caring if it hurts them.” This is disappointing, he’d thought the rubber man’s selfishness would at least not harm his crewmate’s emotions like this. Even if he’s harsh to you due to your status as a man, Sanji still cares for you. However, Luffy scrambles to get up and latches onto the chef, gripping his shoulders.

“Is that what I’m doing!?” He’s panicked, freaking Sanji out a bit.

“If you don’t love someone and just use them to feel better that’s exactly what you’re doing.” Still, he answers. In response to that Luffy slowly lowers himself onto his feet, looking down.

“Using him… Hurting him.” That’s not.. what he wants at all, but he doesn’t want you to stop loving him either. Sanji looks down at his captain and realizes that his face is turning red. He’s using his brain too much.

“Hey you don’t have to think so hard about it.” It’s starting to worry him, what if he overheats or something? “Just don’t lead on someone you don’t love back.”

“But I do love him!” He shouts. “I just don’t know about the whole—in love thing. I don’t like that he doesn’t smile at me like before and that he doesn’t pick me up! He doesn’t even..” Luffy pauses, putting a hand on his head as he speaks in a quieter voice. “He doesn’t even pet my hair anymore. (Y/n) used to do it all the time but it’s been a week since he did it. Even when I did good stuff while keeping my hat off he doesn’t do anything.” The chef goes silent, Luffy eventually continuing. “He said all that stuff about loving me then just.. left me alone.” After a few moments Sanji reaches up and pets the captain’s hair, but the captain puts his straw hat on his head in response.

“Felt different?” The blonde asks and Luffy nods. “Then maybe (Y/n)’s different.” Sanji isn’t a love expert either, but he has felt romantic love before; and had his heart hurt because of it. “It feels different, love like that.”

“Is there something wrong… with me?” Luffy clutches the rim of his hat, stressed. He seems so small like this, so vulnerable with insecurity. It reminds Sanji of his own insecurities, and how this boy, so bright and carefree, accepted all of it. He can’t leave his friend, his captain like this. The blonde puts out his cigarette and takes a deep breath, speaking.

“I’m not going to stand here and pretend like you have no faults or that there’s nothing different about you. You rush into things, hate doing anything you find even a little boring, and do everything you can to empty our fridge. It’s annoying.” He thinks about their journey so far. “But you’ve been my captain and friend for over two years and I know for sure that your faults are a part of you; they don’t make you ‘wrong’. And if it does, then everyone on this ship is the same, because we’re here with you. Including (Y/n).” Sanji’s done bad things to Luffy, to the rest of the crew, and in his opinion he’s the one with the most faults; but Luffy accepted him. “You told me my faults make me who I am, that they’re somehow all the things good about me, so it’s the same for you. You rush in to help people, work hard on things that you love,” The chef looks away. “and, well, in a way breaking into the fridge has made the crew smarter about safety.” He says with a sigh before looking back at the smaller man. “So if you insult yourself like this then you’re insulting all of us, Captain.” Luffy looks up at Sanji, eyes twinkling with the light inside him that had been clouded with insecurity.

____________________

“DID HE CRY!? WAS HE CRYING!?” You grip onto Sanji’s shoulders, shaking him before getting a hard kick to the stomach and falling to your knees.

“Calm down.” The chef says, annoyed. “No, he didn’t cry.” Despite the pain in your gut, that gives you solstice. “He went silent for a bit before smiling and almost suffocating me with a hug.”

“I still made him stressed, though…” Horrible, bad friend, bad crewmate.

“Stop focusing on only that part. I told you this because of what he said, what he did. Luffy is acting differently not because he thinks you’re some sort of creep that confessed to him. It’s because you’re different to him, yet left him alone.” He puts a foot on your head, talking through gritted teeth “You should know by now that leaving him alone is the worst thing you could do to him. He already hates it when anyone does it but now you do it?” It stings but not as much as your mistake.

“I didn’t know I was acting that different, I was just trying to get my mind off of it and let him forget about it too.” The faster you moved on the faster things could go back to normal. You sigh, you can’t believe you’re getting emotional advice from Sanji. He takes his foot off of your head and you stand up. Still, even if you’re different to Luffy it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily love. It could just be a special care, but that could be Luffy’s form of love. Sigh, maybe you’re just making things too complicated. You just don’t want to force him into something he doesn’t feel, making him confuse his platonic feelings for romantic ones because you gain from it. You’re not underestimating him enough to think of him as some sort of clueless baby, he’s got emotional maturity, but the things that Luffy doesn’t know about he really doesn’t know about. You have this knowledge now, about how he feels, but what now? You don’t want to force him, accidentally or not, but you also don’t know if you can just pretend you didn’t hear this. Especially when you know now how stressed it made your captain and love.

“Did you already move on?” You break from your thoughts at the sound of Sanji’s voice.

“No.. I’ve been trying to but I’ve just gotten more used to keeping myself calm around him, trying to be as platonic as I can.” However much you can be with Luffy, anyway. He’s always touchy but trying to endure that adorable behavior is too much for you to handle right now. “Thanks, Sanji.”

“You’re welcome,” He smiles. “I’ll put away the dishes so go think or something.” It immediately fades as the chef puts out his cigarette and makes a shooing motion before turning to the dishes.

‘I’m different, huh?’ You think to yourself as you leave the kitchen. While pondering you spot Luffy and Usopp fishing. On cue, the rubber man moves his hat from on his head to resting around his neck. It reminds you of what Sanji told you, about Luffy keeping his hair uncovered so you can pet it. He must’ve used his haki to check if it was you when he heard the door open. You walk over and Luffy not-so-subtly pushes his bucket of fish where you can see. Usopp, in return, pulls his bucket to be more hidden so you focus on his friend’s. What a bro. You know how he feels now, but you still end up nervous. “Nice catches, Luf.” When you speak he perks up, then looks back at you with shiny eyes. You talked to him!

“They’ll be tasty too!” He says proudly, though he looks strangely tense. You hesitate for a moment before reaching your hand down and petting the rubber man’s head. His eyes sparkle and his smile brightens as he lets out a happy “shi shi shi”, his body untensing. He doesn’t pull away, look uncomfortable, or stare at you weird. You didn’t mess up. You continue to pet him for an unknown amount of time, the both of you relishing in the feeling, before his line starts to move, pulling so hard he almost falls over the railing. You catch him by the back of his shirt, allowing him to plant his feet on the ground and start pulling.

“How huge is this thing!?” Usopp yells as he tries to help Luffy but is stopped.

“I don’t need help, I can do this!” The rubber man tells him, determined as he pulls harder. The fish struggles and struggles but is pulled up and forced out of the sea. It’s giant! The shadow looms over all over you before it flops hard onto the ship’s deck, flopping around before Luffy punches it in the head, finishing off his big catch. The star fisherman hops up onto the fish and yells with his arms in the air. “I dedicate this catch to (Y/n)!”

“To—To me!?” You point at yourself while Luffy laughs, music to your ears. This is why he was trying so hard, why he was determined to do it on his own. It was all for you. His eyes meet yours, bright and joyful as your heart thumps out of your chest. Is he courting you!? Is this courting!?

“I don’t think (Y/n) can eat all of this before it goes bad.” Chopper points out with a hoof on the fish’s scales. Sanji comes out of the kitchen and spots the fish.

“That was the rocking, I’ll have to get working on this.” He says while studying the new ingredient, but the captain shakes his head.

“I’ll do it.” He states, still determined.

“As if! You’d ruin the whole thing!”

“But I caught it for (Y/n)!” Luffy whines and Sanji looks at you.

“For him?” He puts together what’s going on and sighs. “Idiot, how do you expect him to eat it if you make it inedible. Just let me cook it.”

“No! I’ll do it!” He really isn’t relenting.

“Luffy I can’t eat this whole thing, and Sanji can cook it for everyone.” The captain still pouts. “I’ll eat most of it,” You climb up onto the fish and reach your arms out, pulling Luffy into a hug and his eyes widen. “Thank you for catching it for me, I love it.” The captain’s eyes widen and something starts to happen, his face gets hot and he can feel his heart thumping. When you pull away to talk to Sanji about the catch he still feels weird.

“???” “?” He’s dizzy, looking at his hands while confusion fills his head. What’s going on? Did pulling the fish make him tired?? Is it poisonous? But neither Sanji nor Chopper said anything about it. Weird weird weird! You feel a rush of wind as Luffy runs past you, bursting into the ship and past Robin who notices his red face before he’s gone.

“Oh my.” She says with a giggle as she walks out onto the deck.

“Whuh?” You stand there confused. Did he have to piss or something? Robin looks at you, a knowing smile on her face. It seems she doesn’t have to worry so much after all.

There you go chat, pretty gangster right? I was p stumped on it at first after getting the Sanji part done but then got some spark and kept writing. The captain's cute, right? Leave a comment about how adorable the Lufster is if you agree.

Is This Love?

Luffy x male reader. Angst(?) Slowburn still. 1703 words Part one

Desc: You confessed to Luffy and he tries to find out what it means to him.

You’ve started sleeping in the men’s quarter’s again. It was hard to get some sleep at first, but life at sea is tiring, especially with the occasional marine attack and random weather conditions. Your body will shut itself down eventually. Unfortunately, someone else isn’t having much luck tonight.

“Hnnnnnnnn..”

Rustle

“Hrrrmmmmmmm”

Rustle rustle

“Hnnnnngaahh!” Luffy sits up quickly, his arms in the air. “Can’t sleep.” A shoe is thrown at his head by Sanji. “Ow!”

“Then go outside instead of bringing us into it!” The chef barks while the rubber man rubs his head. He pouts while getting up, making his way out onto the deck.

“waaatchhhh… night watchh.. heheheh. As if I even need to. Who would even dare approach the ship of the GREAT Captain Us-”

“Usopp.” The sniper feels a hand on his shoulder.

“EEAAAAAAHHH!” He screams and bursts into tears, ready to plead for his life before realizing it’s just his friend. “Oh. Luffy.” He has a hand on his chest, quickly pretending nothing happened. “Why are you up?”

“Wh- What happened!? Did you scream!?” A large muscular human reindeer runs over. “Luffy?” Fwoosh, back to small.

“I scared a bird, that’s all. I already took care of it.” The captain tries to open his mouth but is quickly shushed by Usopp. “You couldn’t sleep, right? Why?”

“(Y/n) sleeps back in his bed now but he still doesn't talk like before.” Changing the subject works, why wouldn’t it.

“Like before?” The two crewmates ask.

“Yeah like, he doesn’t.. look at me, the same. Like it’s… different. Not as warm.” He wracks his brain to explain, making weird hand signals because he can’t translate his thoughts into words he knows properly.

“Loving? Caring? Like you’re the only thing that matters in this unforgiving world?” Usopp finishes and Luffy nods, similar enough. He hums while nodding, eyes closed with a hand on his chin.

“Seems like he fell out of love with you.” The sniper states after a bit of fake pondering for dramatic effect.

“Out of love?” Chopper and Luffy ask before Usopp nods.

“I mean, you rejected him, right? Even outed his feelings in front of all of us, sounds like he just moved on. Let the feelings fade out into the wind.” He explains while the doctor nods. Luffy’s brain goes empty-er as he lets how he feels translate into thoughts,

“I didn’t reject him” and out through his mouth. The two previously chatting teens stop.

“You didn’t?” They ask and Luffy shakes his head.

“I just called him weird, then he didn’t say anything else.”

…

Is that not a rejection?

“Is that not a rejection?” That’s what I said. Usopp furrows his brows, trying to see through his friend’s eyes. “Did you also stay silent?”

“I didn’t know what else to say.” The sniper hums, he would definitely start ugly sobbing if someone he was in love with did that to him.

“You could’ve said, ‘Thank you for your feelings, I do not feel the same way.’ If he continues then scold him.” Chopper says with a hoof on his chest. Very kind. “Or kick him off a mountain.” Two different parents taught him two different things.

“That could kill someone..” Usopp points out, slightly concerned. Chopper nods.

“If they survive they ask for your help and then you have a new customer/patient.” What did Dr. Kureha teach him? The long nosed man stares at Chopper in concern and shock before Luffy speaks.

“I don’t wanna do that.”

“Well yeah he’s still our friend, kicking him off a mountain is a bit mu-”

“I mean, I don’t wanna lie.” He clarifies and Usopp stares at his friend, lips jutted out still from being interrupted.

“Lie?” The small reindeer asks instead and the captain nods.

“I do have feelings for him. I just.” Luffy motions at his chest, “Just…” This is why he couldn’t sleep. “I don’t know what love like that is. Being in love. He’s in love with me and I love him but I don’t know what my love is if he feels like that.” Luffy feels platonic love easily, he feels joy and happy and angry all very easily. Even something like excitement from a woman’s chest he can feel via living through Usopp, but romantic love he doesn’t know a lick about feeling. Passion and smooching, hugging and holding hands, staring into each other's eyes. You could do that all with a friend, mostly, so what’s the actual difference? It’s not like lust is the difference either since people do stuff without loving each other all the time.

“Romantic love…” Hiriluk loved Drum Island and Dr. Kureha loved having fun. “Romantic love is having big antlers and sturdy fur.” Chopper reverts to what he learned when he was a wee baby. Luffy rubs his own head, no antlers. In response to his captain’s confusion, Usopp speaks confidently.

“It’s okay. They call me Captain of Love Usopp for a reason!” He strikes a pose and Chopper claps. “Love is like the warm sun on a snowy day, a ray of light peeking through storm clouds, an oasis in a desert. It’s the light at the end of a tunnel.” A lot of metaphors, but not a lot of actual explanation. It’s not doing much good, though Chopper at least seems into it. The rubber man isn’t as interested though, realizing this isn’t answering much of his questions. He looks down.

“I don’t want (Y/n) to be out of love with me if he’s like this because he doesn’t love me romantically anymore.” Luffy mumbles to himself, deciding to go to the restroom. Maybe that’ll help.

“Amorrr is- Luffy? Where’d he go?” Usopp looks around, realizing he’s gone. He looks down at Chopper, who’s expecting more. The sniper clears his throat and continues. “Love is like!” You get the point. Chopper doesn’t know about romantic love much, even as a reindeer. They don’t usually love romantically to mate, while both Hiriluk and Dr. Kureha were interested in their medical endeavors and danger. As for Usopp, he’d been on the same island all of his life always focusing on other things to ever truly register romantic love. His sick mother, her death, then trying to become a brave warrior of the sea. No parents to teach him either. His assumption was it would be figured out once on the ocean, being surrounded by lovers and admirers all the time. Neither of them can help Luffy, at least not in the way he needs.

So what does Luffy need? He doesn’t know, and neither do they. So he goes to the restroom.

“Love…” Luffy says while sitting on the toilet, not going or anything, just for thinking. “Loovvee. Loav.” Repeating it isn’t helping, “Louuvee, loaf.” though it is cheering him up. “Shi shi shi!” He laughs a bit, then stands up. This didn’t give any answers, but he won’t stress about it. Things will work out eventually. Luffy splashes water and soap on his hands, dries them off, then leaves the restroom. He goes back to the men’s quarters. Before going back to his own bed he stops by yours. “...” He crouches down and stares at you. “..luv.” A small mumble before flopping onto his mattress. His heart and mind feels clearer.

Meanwhile, your eyes open, what was that about?

_____________________

‘Why’d he just stare at me? Or maybe he wasn’t? My eyes weren’t open but I definitely felt his body heat and breath.’ You think to yourself as you poke at your food with a scowl, finally taking a bite out of it.

“Luffy’s gonna steal it if you don’t eat in time.” Nami tells you, pointing to your plate with her fork. On cue, the captain tries to reach for her food, hand smacked away before he could grab anything. No time for thinking during breakfast, but you’re on dish duty today. That should give you a chance to think.

“Hey.” A voice says behind you and you almost drop the plate you’re rinsing off. It’s Sanji. “So… about you and Luffy.” He starts, looking awkward. “You’re really in love with that id- with him?” He’d like to insult Luffy but feels it’s not the time.

“Way to bring it up again.” You grumble, placing the last dish to dry.

“Did he reject you?”

“Yeah, obviously. Don’t know what I expected to happen.” You don’t really feel like talking about it but he’s asking so you answer.

“Are you sure?” The chef asks and you look back at him, irritated.

“Hell you mean ‘are you sure?’ I’m pretty sure, dude.” Your eyes glare at him. “He called me weird and acts like I’m a specimen now.” Your sass makes Sanji frown back.

“I’m trying to help you, dumbass. Luffy’s not like other people. What you think might be a rejection can be something else entirely. He could say someone has a strong smell and consider it a compliment.” He lights a cigarette, annoyed at the attitude. “You could’ve read him wrong.” It’s a bittersweet thought that you just misunderstood.

“Even if I did misunderstand, so what? It’ll still mean a rejection, just in his own way.” You’re too stressed to talk about this. You were already trying to move on.

“He asked me about love yesterday.” Your eyes widen. “Usopp and Chopper said the same thing happened the day before.” Sanji says after taking a breath of his cigarette, blowing the smoke out the window. “That’s what I mean, but if you’re going to be a dick about it-” He leans into your face “-I don’t have to tell you anything.” He says mockingly.

‘Asshole.’ Though you were mean first, technically. Still, you really want to know the details. You clench your jaw, then speak. “I’m sorry for being an ass, tell me.”

“Huh? What’d you say? Tell you what?” He puts a cupped hand to his ear.

“Tell me more about what Luffy asked you.” He continues to stare at you until you sigh. “Please.” That gets a satisfied smirk out of him.

“Should’ve just said so.” You hold in your anger so he can continue. “What Luffy asked me…”

Cliffhanger wooaaaAAOoah. But still, theres another chappa. I already had a good portion of this one finished but the next one will prob take longer. Also my bad if this one was more comedic than you would like, all of my stuff ends up having a moment like that, plus moments with Usopp always tend to be unserious. I thought about not posting this immediately after it was done to space stuff out but.. nah. Not my style ig. Comment if you want, idk. Havent done slow burn in a long and by a while i mean years and also only like 2 or 3 times.

Is This Love?

Luffy x male reader. Angst(?) Slowburn still. 1703 words Part one, Part three, Part four