In Fact Witchers Will Work BETTER If You Give Them Plenty Of Blueberries First - Blog Posts

the witcher jaskier pffft boot like they're all DEEPLY NEUTRAL THERE'S NOTHING BAD ABOUT THEM THEY JUST HAVE TO BE BATSHIT ENOUGH TO BE WORTH SPREADING yes yes witchers actually have to eat blueberries at least twice a week to maintain their mutations yes blueberry muffins will work perfectly fine in fact witchers will work BETTER if you give them plenty of blueberries first fun fact innkeep from jaskier Certified Witcher Expert: witchers are actually able to communicate mind to mind with each other how else would they know who's where to do their jobs effectively? fun fact if you have an especially problematic contract you should give the witcher an extra coin before the contract to put in his left boo it will make him extra fast and able to do his job well gold's even better transfers to their eyes you see that's why they're yellow makes 'em stronger meanwhile nO OTHER WITCHER HAS ANY FUCKING CLUE WHY THE INNKEEP MADE SUCH A FUCKING MASSIVE DEAL OUT OF PROVIDING THEM THREE BLANKETS EXACTLY THREE 'i know you lot do better with all wool but will one cotton be fine?' 'yeah sure will what the fuck are you talking about' 'oh don't worry my liza has a special interest in witchers. she knows all about your traditions. we'll bring up an extra pillow later so it'll be an odd number' witcher: *confused as fuck but hey bonus pillow and nice wool blankets* '...wow so well-educated thank you' witchers putting in requests for jaskier to create rumors about 'hey bard can you spread that all witchers love lemon candies by biology' witcher who HATES lemon candies from across the room: 'DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE'