I'm Just So Tired - Blog Posts

the day when I stop blaming my parent for having a bad childhood and trust issue etc. is when I realize that they're human too and they do make mistakes, a lot of them for sure and as I will stop having those mistake stop me from being a much better ME

Its time to grow up and move on

This time not for them but for ME.

Me getting a good nights sleep: [footage not found]

y’all i’m so sorry for taking so long to write the fics i promised (and answering asks) i’ve just been soso busy and have not have any Time at all

but i Promise! i’ll get on it soon

Definitely don't wanna be here rn. I know that there are many who can relate I'm just tired.

Why does being queer have to be so fucking hard? I can’t talk to my parents about anything because I can’t let them know. Living in a conservative state sucks because a lot of my friends and some of my favorite people are going to vote for a man who wants me gone. The entire world just doesn’t have what i truly want so I have to make it for myself. Work work work and make it but I’m so tired. And I wanna strangle my algebra teacher.

I'm 99% I'm about to have a meltdown or am currently experiencing one because I want to scream and cry and hit something and hurt myself and everything is going wrong and feels wrong and I can't breathe and I'm scared I'm going to lash out at my friends even though I don't want to and they haven't done anything wrong and I feel so guilty for just feeling angry at them even though I haven't even said or done anything to them as of yet and I just feel so guilty for just being angry and for experiencing a meltdown and I'm so scared of being mean and angry and hurting them and I'm scared of them seeing me like this cause it's not pretty or easy and it's not fair on them having to deal with it and be around me while I'm like this but nothing is helping and I'm scared, so so scared and one of my friends (who is on the waiting list for an autism assessment and has an autistic sibling) told me they don't see autism as a disability but as a gift but it really doesn't feel like it, especially right now (and in fact this entire week) when i feel like this because omfg is it fucking agonising. I can't even put into words how much it physically hurts and aches and I hate it and I hate that because I'm lower support needs people think it doesn't affect me as much or that it isn't so difficult as to my detriment as if it doesn't affect and impair all parts of my fucking life.

I don't feel so good today.

I feel a strange, ancient ache in my soul. An aged feel to my rigid bones that once held the weight of the earth and the sky. Now they wish to rest, to turn to dust. They have endured enough weathering. I feel nostalgic for a life I have never lived, for a life I wish I lived. I suppose I do understand this humane desire. The soul was never meant to stay on the earth. It was meant to rise. And here, now, it is bound to, shackled to this body and inadvertently, to this world,held taut by the unyielding chains of gravity. I yearn for the day I return home. Up there.

I don't feel so good today and that's fine.

~Me

Save me fic update and incredibly loud music....save me...

koi no yokan | Itafushi | M/M |College/Band AU | Angst w Happy Ending (you have to suffer for it) | 8/16 | 6.0k | read from beginning

Warnings: heavy drinking, smoking, slightly suggestive, megumi's got some real issues ngl....Naoya appearance...

“I’m never going to be able to eat all this,” Megumi said as Itadori passed him a plate piled high with rice, steamed veggies, and meatballs. Itadori settled into the couch next to him, balancing his own plate as their knees pressed together from the proximity. “Don’t even try to argue with him,” Yoshino replied. “Yuuji’s primary way of showing he cares is through food, and he really likes you, so he’s going to feed you a lot, regardless of what you say. He’s like the grandma that doesn’t let you have an empty plate for more than fifteen seconds.” Megumi wouldn’t know what that was like, but he was more preoccupied with the way Itadori’s skin heated at Yoshino’s words, burning Megumi through the layers of fabric separating them. “I never should have put you two in the same room,” he grumbled. “Junpei’s gonna try to tell you all my secrets, Fushiguro. Don’t listen to him.”

Feeling very tired here is some lazy vent art I don't care looks very amateurish

Ok so:

Right now I am fucking pised because my tumblr isnt fucking working and it just deleted two things I did and it just sucks how tomorrow I wont be able to work on my things because vacation is over for me now and then It just delets this things I've been working for a long time.

Just wanna to say that