Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Empire False: Who are you?
Hermit False: I’m you but better.
Empire False: Thats not a very high bar…
ALTERNATIVELY:
Empire False: Who are you?
Hermit False: I’m your worst nightmare.
Empire False: So you’re me, when I go halfway across the world to build something only to realize I forgot my building supplies, having my pickaxe break and all my iron vanishing from my farm? Oh and not remembering anything but thats not important-
Hermit False: Wha-?
Grian: guess what we are going to do today?
Grian: Not the back THATS FOR SURE!!!
Grian: Hey can I-
Mumbo: No.
Grian: You didn’t even let me-
Mumbo: No.
Grian: is this a good idea?
Scar: Absolutely not! You’re the one who suggested it!
Mumbo: If we survive, I am never putting you in charge of the plans.
Grian: I’m going to take it that you guys all love my plans and should keep suggesting them in the future.
Scar and Mumbo: NO-
Xisuma : If I can deal with it, you can too.
Evil X probably: I just felt an emotion and i’m not okay with it
Scot: Can I have some water? Joel: *starts chugging their water bottle* Joel: *chokes from drinking too fast* Joel: *spills water all over themself* Joel, coughing: I don't have any water.
Scar: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- Cleo: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!
Grian: Act natural. Mumbo: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic. Grian: NO, that’s not what I meant! Act like it’s a normal day! Mumbo: My ‘normal’ days of late, consist of a lot of panic. Grian: Will you just cooperate? Mumbo: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!
Grian: You really believe in Joel? Lizzie: Luckily, they believe in themself enough for the both of us
Scar: You should see Grian, he’s a total tsundere. Isn’t he just the best? Gem: He stabbed you.
Scar, throwing their head into Grian's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Grian, lovingly stroking their hair:You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are
Cleo: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!
Doc: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Gem. Ren: You just said it again. Gem: Doc: I am not a role model.
Lifers reactions to being called straight: Joel: The fuck, no I'm not. Ren: Excuse the hell out of you? Scar: Ding dong, you are wrong! Martyn: Who told you that? And why did they lie? Grian: Rude. Cleo: *punches the person*
Grian: Scar... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now. Scar: *muffled* mm hmmm :) Grian: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.
Joel: Bitch. Bdubs: Blocked. Joel: Wait unblock me I need to tell you something. Bdubs: Unblocked. Joel: Bitch.
Scot: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell! Martyn: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!
Ren To Mumbo: Wow, left handed AND British? You really are an illusion.
Gem: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying. Joel: And? Gem: And you are.
Grian: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun
Grian: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation. Scot: So you're just gonna wait until Scar is in danger and save them? Grian: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them. Scot: ... Scot: You're insane.
Grian: The time to act is now. Scar: Wink, wink. Grian: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink. Scar: Oh, sorry. Scar: Wink.
*lifers at a family dinner* Pearl: Can you pass the salt? Scot: *throws Joel across the table*
Tango: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Jimmy: Even better! Tango: What the fuck did you- Jimmy: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy Tango: She’s… beautiful!
Skizz: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it? Joel: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?” Skizz, scoffing: Oh, please. Joel, to Jimmy: Hey, how you doin’? Jimmy: jimmy: *giggles and blushes*
Joel, driving in his car with the other winners and singing to the Little Einsteins theme song: We’re going on a trip- Martyn: In our favorite piece of shit! Grian: Doing 95! Scot: We’re gonna fucking die!
Scar: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery! Impulse: This unmitigated poppycock? Gem: Extravagant hogwash! Grian and Mumbo: Okay, stop.