Borderline Personality Disorder - Blog Posts

PSA: BPD

BPD:

Is not multiple personality disorder

does involve extreme reactions to abandonment whether real or perceived

does involve unstable and intense interpersonal relationships

does involve impulsivity

does involve recurrent suicidal tendencies or self harm

does involve affective instability due to a highly reactive mood (i.e. periods of intense anxiety for example will last for a couple of hours and rarely more than a couple of days)

does involve chronic feelings of emptiness

does involve intense feelings of anger/difficulty controlling anger

does involve stress related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms such as feeling cut off from oneself. 

You also only need to display 5 of these symptoms. Thus people can have bpd without the unstable relationships that is stereotypical of bpd. I know they are common symptoms but they aren’t aren’t the only ones. Also please learn the difference between multiple personality disorder (dissociative identity disorder) and bpd. Just because I dissociate sometimes doesn’t mean that I have DID. Learn the difference and stop saying the only way to be bpd is to have unstable and intense relationships. 

nice bpd, did ur mom give it to u

This is the BPD representation I didn't expect but turned out it was the best one out there

Rang's self worth issues just break my heart this season. I don't know how this boy does not see how much he gives back to people. How he only sees himself as someone who is incapable of being loved, someone who is a failure and can't protect anyone.

On the other hand, he would gladly see the best of people despite being hurt by them.

While i can understand his sentiments when it comes to Yeo hee, though even with her, once he decided to accept his feelings, he was completely willing to lay his life down for her and fought for her with his life.

But when it comes to Yeon, he has given back more than enough even when he has not received the same kindness back. I know that this Rang is not my 2020 Rang yet. But even 1938 Rang has been willing to die protecting his brother and we all saw that. Also, I don't understand why this Rang never seems to bring about the fact that he was very mercilessly cut down by said brother. Maybe because the writers want us to forget that Yeon was ever mean to him. Well, I refuse to forget that.

My boy never sees the good that he does but ends up holding everyone he loves at this pedestal. Show him the bare minimum love and affection and he would just gladly die protecting you. And i am not just winging it, he almost died protecting Shin ju in the well this season despite being all mad over him.

All these years of trauma and being abandoned by the people that he loved the most has just built my boy in a way that he believes he is just a stain, a burden, someone who has nothing to offer. And I need someone to tell him otherwise. Tell him how he has such a big heart and how he gives back so much more than he has ever received. 🥺

But the entire season, they ended up focusing on clearing Yeon's conscience. I believe all that matters to the writers is showing us just how much Yeon loves his brother. But the best way to do that would have been if they had acknowledged the pain that he had caused and apologised for it. Made Rang see his worth rather than pretending and believing that he never did anything wrong.

Ah, I might just keep on ranting if I don't stop but someone please help my boy see how precious he is. And he does not need to die for his life to be of some value. 🥺

two months ago in psych ward

I can't form so much as a tear

but I seem to be drowning still.

I feel numb, I don't want to think about anything. It's too much. I didn't want to wake up today. I have a lot to take care of and think about but I just don't have it in me to tend to anything.

I feel numb.

Time to go underground and push everyone away after an overwhelming weekend.

growing up as the ugly girl maybe had affected me way down too much

REPOST THIS SO PEOPLE SEE PLEASE OR ADD MORE WEIRD PEOPLE THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT

IF THIS BASTARD TRIES TO TALK TO YOU PLEASE DONT LET HIM HES LIKE ONE OF THOSE WEIRD "COACHES/DOMS"

let's be mentally unstable without creepy mens interference please 💕

i don't really ever talk about relationship problems its always so personal my boyfriend is so good with words but wow 🙁

idk what to even say or think or anything

he doesn't even know about the really bad things about me too ☹️☹️☹️

he went back to being sweet and everything but I don't know what to do about it at all

Something really hilarious is how people think telling me to “calm down” will help??? Like naw if anything it’ll turn my anger on whoever said it lmaooo like it’s the funniest thing bc it’ll just backfire 😭people are actually really fucking stupid. People in my past have done that and spoiler: it doesn’t work Lmaoo

I know I’m randomly rambling on this account about just everything but oh well

I can smell when tone changes are coming and that’s when I split lmfaooo. It took me time to actually notice this too 💀how truly sensitive tone changes make me lol. I was just thinking about it more randomly because I think about a lot of random shit

"Don't do it" by Nucleose

⨾༊󠀺

yeah no it's totally cool that you left me on read for 6+ hours after i finally reached out to you after an of entire week not speaking im totally not frothing at the mouth or anything

10 days sober off klonopin and sh and all i wanna fucking do is relapse !! is it even fucking worth it to keep this up !! all i fuckin want is someone to talk to and be actual friends with but i guess that's impossible !!

it's pathetic how much i fucking hate you. i can't fucking stand it. i hate that you're out with your fucking friends and ignoring me. you know i want you to be happy but why can't you see how much of my happiness you're responsible for. why the fuck did you get me addicted to you like this and then just fuck off.

I think everything is just supposed to be fucking miserable all the time.

i hate snapchat memories lol. just saw some pics from 5 years ago of me and my friends on call when we started online school during the pandemic and it fucking stung way more than i anticipated. these people don't talk to me anymore. they've all moved on with their lives and im still drowning in the past by myself, wishing they'd come back to get me. they have partners and new friends in our old city, and i got forcefully pulled away to a whole new province without my permission. i get to start all over again with friendships and family i don't want in my life.

i miss my friends.

why am i even bothering with sobriety and cleanness at this point. all i wanna do is be high and forget how fucking miserable im gonna be for the rest of my life. just for a few hours. but i cAnT because tHinGs WoNt EvEr gEt BeTtEr iF yOuRe uSiNg. who the fuck cares if it gets better at this point? it obviously fucking won't. i'm trapped in this fucking disgusting body forever. the least i can do for myself is make myself happy for a little while.

it is 11:40pm. i logically know that my friends are asleep and not deliberately ignoring me. does that stop the mean angry gnome in my brain from telling me they despise my existence in their lives? absolutely not

and the worst part is that the only person i have to talk to, is said mean angry brain gnome. 🙃

because everyone else is asleep. 🙃

chat should i actually block every single one of my friends from my hometown and completely isolate myself in another province

"read 2 hours ago" okay what if i just block you and you never hear from me again instead

is anyone else's mother a passive aggressive cunt for no reason or is it just mine

theres something about being called "buddy" by someone who used to call you their "babyboy" that really just stabs me 87 in the chest

how the fuck do you make friends.

everyone else in my life gets to go hang out with their friends and go home to their partners and i hate it. i really hate to say that i hate seeing their happiness. it's not that i don't want them to b be happy and lead good lives, it's that im a fucking dumb jealous asshole.

everyone makes it seem like them and all of their friends just clicked together. there was no awkwardness at the start and everything just went so smoothly. meanwhile i can't get past the awkward small talk phase with everyone and it's completely discouraging. I dont want to end up alone. i don't wanna be forced into the shadows while i watch everyone else have a life besides me because i just flat out didn't deserve to have one.

tldr someone pls become unhealthily obsessed with me and i will offer the same in return

you know when you're talking to your friend who you also used to date and they're talking about their new love interests and it's all you can fucking do not to lose your shit and split on them and just listen and congratulate them because logically you love that person because they are your best friend and they also love you but shit just didn't work romantically between the two of you but now every time they talk about it you wanna put scissors in your ears because you feel so fucking lonely and disgusting and unworthy of the thing that everyone else has but you don't??

no me neither

THEY REPLACED ME

theyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedmetheyreplacedme

they said i was their favourite

they said they loved me

they said that IM their number one

WHY DID THEY REPLACE ME

DID I JST MEAN NOTHING TO THEM

DID THEY JST LIE THIS WHOLE TIME

IF THEY WERE TELLING THE TRUTH, HOW DID THEY REPLACE ME SO EASILY

am i rlly that replaceable?