Y'all Motherfuckers On Instagram Need To Stop Posting Posts With Moaning Porn Noises.

An attractive guy on YouTube :- U can easily get girls.It is so easy I'll teach u.

*teaches some pickup lines and techniques*

*reality *

Me (while going near a girl for trying those techniques):- u r sexier than the watermelon in my house.

*hangs myself *

Have you ever seen a girl and said art?

Good decision.

Since u liked the first one.

If doctor strange had not given up the green infinity stone he would have killed him and also tony stark and had still got the stone.

Therefore I think that doctor strange giving up the stone to save tony is justified.

It's 2018 why the fuck songs don't have sequels?????????????????

Who saw a pineapple and thought that it was an apple with pines?

The way she looked at me my optical sensors automatically registered 01001100 01101111 01110110 01100101 and then we knew we were in love.We then adjusted our local coordinates and we intersected at the coffee bean twisting and squooshing machine. As soon as we met my battery pack registered and huge spike and my robotic vibrational module malfunctioned.I barely had the neurons to vibrate my speakers but I got over it. We produced multiple vibrations of air for a very long time .It seems that we were both programmed in the same language and were only miles apart when our owners were assembling us.

After this she started squishing her wobbly skin pad on her mouth and started touchscreening my left arm. She was definitely into my programs and had already started to wipe out my primary functions.

After that she was putting some liquids in her speakers and making turtle sex noises. My neurons calculated she maybe out of battery and therefore recharging herself with the jiggly water.

After a while we started to rhyme with the jiggly speaker sound. My interconnected joints started making robot sex noises and I was embarrassed. She however thought It was the man wobbling the compact disc. She however fell down and I started to see hydrogen peroxide rolling down her face skin pads. I forwarded my arm and said '01000111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01110101 01110000 00100000 01100110 01100101 01101101 01100001 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100100 01101111 01100111 00100000 ' and then i knew our neurons were matched and we were in chemical castrated attraction of human kind

Also we can only use about half of the total power of my senses. There are people who could use echolocation and fucking hear every single word in a room full of people.If we could utilize the total power of each of our senses we could be superhuman. But the only thing stopping me from becoming a fucking superhuman is that I am too lazy to get off Tumblr...

Ok listen closely.Humans can be fucking superheroes……..y? See our fucking mind utilises 10% of its full power - this is a fucking myth but I think so what they meant was humans can only control 10% of our body .I can’t fucking control their heartbeat and if I could possibly scale the highest peaks and deepest oceans. If I could control my fucking fat percentage i could eat a lot of burgers and pizzas and fucking walk around the entire Sahara desert. What the myth was that I could only control 10% of my body and if we could control the other 90% u know the entire world would be the flash.

Big app companies like Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp :- Hey guys what are ur suggestions on updates of our current app????

People:- Uhhhhhh u could make ur current features more stable and smoother???

Companies:- Change our entire app???? Ok we'll do that.

Last night I saw a kid sitting in a corner crying.

I asked him what happened. He told me he didn't want to study and it was difficult and finals were approaching.

After that my parents caught the kid crying along with me.

Your iq is as low as the walking distance from ur eyes through your big ass forehead to your hair. Please don't use this as a pickup line.