Has There Ever Been A Bigger Power Move Than Thomas Pointing Out Immediately That Roman's Sword Is A

I had a dream there was a new halloween-themed Sander Sides and it was revealed that Janus kept Remus on a golden chain attached to a black o-ring collar around his neck

He held it loosely in his hand but if Remus starting giving intrusive thoughts he'd tug on it and like make him behave and everyone was like 'oh thank god he's under control'

It was weird but that'd be hilarious so here's hoping I have the gift of prophecy

I'm bored so I'm gonna summarize each of the sanders sides episodes but badly

I had a Thought about DreamSMP characters (yes it's over now but I still think about it sometimes)

Alternative text:

A graph with an X and Y axis. The left X axis says "You know what they are", the right X axis says "You have no idea what the fuck they are", the upper Y axis says "They explain what they are", the lower Y axis says "They never explain what they are".

Quadrant 2, with "They explain what they are" and "You know what they are", says "Charlie: A slime that gooped its way to the surface over a long period of time."

Quadrant 1, with "They explain what they are" and "You have no idea what the fuck they are", says "Tommy: Lab experiment???"

Quadrant 3, with "They never explain what they are" and "You know what they are", says "Techno: Some sort of pigman."

Quadrant 4, with "They never explain what they are" and "You have no idea what the fuck they are", says "Phil: Had a (human?) child with a Samsung Smart Fridge, might have wings?, wife might be the Goddess of Death??"

Patton. "I wonder what's in that closet. Nope, don't even check."

Remus. "I'll check. What if I open this and a thousand rattlesnakes jump out?"

Patton. "Then I'm gonna run."

Remus. "Alright. Let's boogie, boys!" (Opens closet.) "It's a mattress. And dirt."

(Later)

Patton. "What's in this one?"

Remus. "This is fun, because now you have to open this door, because I opened that one. What if you pick the wrong one and there's like a, a clown with a decaying face in there?"

Patton. (Mocking) "'What if you pick the wrong one and there's a fucking clown with a decaying face in there?'"

Logan. "Open the door. Stop joking."

Patton. (Pause) "What if— Okay, I'm running, just letting you know."

Logan: Just... Explain to me how you do this.

Remus: Simple. Cinnamon? Delicious flavor. Not super strong like cloves. In my life I have never made anything too cinnamon-y. A lot of recipes fear spices, so you gotta use your own judgement.

Remus: 'That's close enough?' I measure with my heart is my answer, but in reality I'm a lazy bitch and don't want to measure out all those tablespoons and teaspoons and then wash all the extra dishes.

Remus: Salt? Salt doesn't make things salty until you add too much. When you add the right amount, it just makes things taste. It enhances the natural flavor. Almost always add salt.

Remus: Almond flour? Almond flour is literally finely ground almonds. As long as you don't accidentally make almond butter, you can totally make it yourself.

Remus: Adding cinnamon and chili powder to hot chocolate is how they do it sometimes in some places in Mexico, and frankly, it's delicious. I just add it to taste.

Logan: But how do you know?

Remus: Uh... Experience? Intuition?

Logan: I CAN'T LEARN THOSE!

Logan, in front of camera: Yeah, I'm good at baking because it's a science, I follow instructions exactly and get the desired outcome.

- (Flashback) -

Remus: A fourth teaspoon of cinnamon? You're fucking with me. What do you think this is, radioactive?

Remus: 1/6 cup? Eh, this'll be close enough

Remus: This frosting doesn't have salt? Seriously, the recipe's fucking with me. You can't have frosting without salt.

Remus: I'm out of almond flour for macarons? Eh, I'll grind my own

-

Interviewer: And how do you feel about Remus's baking always turning out better than yours?

Remus: *in background, putting cinnamon and chili powder in his hot chocolate*

Logan: *eye twitches* It's fine.

Side Allergies

Canon ones, (with proof):

Patton: Allergic to cats

(It even has a front pouch to place an actual cat, if you so desire.)

"Oh, I can't. I'm allergic."

Remus: Allergic to soap

"It's got soap on it! I'm allergic to soap, you (beep)!"

Roman: Allergic to cats

"You think you know someone and then WHAM! Out of nowhere... they fill your apartment with feral cats?! And now you're somehow responsible for the vet bills? You've got to give them away, but despite your cat allergy, you've endeared yourself to them, especially to Mrs. Snuffles... more like Mrs. Sniffles! ...Because of the allergy."

So, for the others, my guesses for allergies are:

Logan: Allergic to bullshit

Janus: Allergic to society

Virgil: Allergic to makeup remover

Logan, needing to decide something: Hey, do you have a quarter or something I can flip?

Roman, checking pockets: Hm... I have D&D dice, if that would work?

Logan:

Logan: Wh—

Logan:

Logan, giving up wondering: Yeah that works. Thanks.

Me: Oh haha I make funny posts sometimes, people probably see them in the tags, I wonder how many people have followed me haha

Expectation: Like 3 or smth

Reality: 52

Me: *spits out water*

Me: What tHE F—

v @the-floral-skeleton

Skshdjs now I'm just imagining this and all the possibilities

Light sides: *solving some problem in the middle of the night*

Janus, smacking the roof with a broom handle: SHUT! UP! WE'RE TRYING! TO SLEEP!

Alternatively—

Logan, stomping on the floor:

I DIDN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL

Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF ME

(Remus, tired: Isn't he keeping up the light sides too?

Janus: I believe that's intentional. )

Remus: Just stepped out of the shower while Janus was playing piano, felt like I was in a very classy movie about to be murdered

Patton: Are you guys okay down there??

Remus, Janus, and Virgil: No.

Roman: More importantly, Remus, you shower?

Remus: Of course!

Janus: He rolls around in volcanic ash like a chinchilla.

Roman: Oh. Uh, why?

Remus: I'm allergic to soap! :D

Roman, Logan, Patton, Thomas: ...

Remus: :DDD

Patton, trying his best: That's nice kiddo

Janus's Name Reveal (I have a lot of feelings about this)

As a refresher for the dialogue:

Roman: PFFFFT!! Janus? Hahahaha! What are you, a middle school librarian? Hahahaha. It's a stupid name.

Janus: Oh, Roman, thank god you don't have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn't know who the evil twin is.

So many people are all like 'oh Janus is so horrible telling Roman that if he had a mustache he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between him and Remus' but HONESTLY!

It was true!

Names are an important, powerful thing, and when Janus revealed his badass name to show he wanted to be part of their team, Roman didn't *just* LAUGH, he said "PFFFFT!! Janus? Hahahaha! What are you, a middle school librarian? Hahahaha. It's a stupid name."

That's a horrible thing to say! He did sound like the evil twin!

Everyone's like 'oh but when Janus said "Oh, Roman, thank god you don't have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn't know who the evil twin is" he was attacking Roman's worst fear' AS IF NOT BEING ACCEPTED AND BEING LAUGHED AT ISN'T A FEAR OF JANUS'S!!

Virgil presented himself as a bad guy so Thomas would listen to him, so they'd taken him seriously, and Janus has proven that he wants what's best for Thomas like everyone else.

So how come he can't have done the same thing? Why is that so hard for people to consider? He has feelings too!

I'm not saying Janus was in the right, I'm saying he was provoked and shouldn't be made out to be the villain when they were both in the wrong (also rip Janus because his name was the only one to be laughed at, Roman didn't laugh at Virgil's name he laughed at Patton saying his name should be Virgin and Thomas immediately stood up for Virgil)

Anyway I still love Roman and Janus and that entire encounter went wrong in every possible way thanks for coming to my ted talk