Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
let me tell you driving from Ohio to Washington in a SmartCar with everything I owned was funny enough on its own but once I got west of the Rockies, every. single. time. I stopped ar a gas station, random dads would just spawn beside my car. like there was some sort of dad portal following me. and they’d see my ohio plates and go, “did you DRIVE through the mountains in that?” and every. single. time. I’d go, “well, they didn’t airlift me!”
it killed. it absolutely cleared ever time. never failed to make the dads laugh. they were obsessed. i said it the same every time. it was like I was in a groundhog day timeloop on interstate 70 westbound gas stations. and you know what? I was happy.
brb just gonna tell all my friends that I just witnessed righteous vengeance on tumblr and it absolutely made my day.
Like Damn!
You will always be a woman, your biology betrays you every second of every day.
Wow! I've never gotten one of these asks before so ngl seeing the first few words of this notification and then opening it to find that the whole thing is written with the prose of a wannabe supervillain looking to finally, just once maybe, be taken seriously pwetty please??, is absolutely senDING ME asdfghjh-- XD
But sorry anon, sorry, like I say, I know you sent this expecting to be taken seriously, so I guess I'm duty-bound to give you the same due respect that you've so generously given unto me in ur message that nobody asked for 😔👌🏻.
What I mean to say is: "wow😲, wise stranger who is so brave they can’t share their world-shaking wisdoms without hiding behind an anonymous Tumblr ask😤💪🏻, I’ve never thought of it that way! 🤔🤯 Your single sentence of regurgitated rhetoric has shaken my sense of self to it’s queer little core 😱😔🙏🏻. I will °˖✧repent✧˖° for having lived a foolish life of icky-wicky Trans™ 🤢🤮 existence up ‘til this moment, and comply with cisgenderism immediately. 🚻 You are a genius, your meat is huge, and ev'wybody wespects you so so many for ur totawy owiginal big bwain ideas. 🥺💖"
I'm also vewy sowwy that me minding my business and existing without ever having interacted with you in any capacity offended you enough to warrant sending this ask my way, I really should have been more considerate of the fact that all clowns have a chronic phobia of Trans folk who have actually passed the vibe check because they don't have a rancid attitude that betrays them as a fuckin' idiot every second of every day. 😢😔🙏🏻