Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Every year I spend most of my vacations on my own. Not exactly by choice, but also not because I lack the possibility of choosing. I do have friends and I want to see them and they want to see me. But I simply forget to make plans. Like, I’m so invested on bettering myself! I want to read all the books my friends recommended and watch all the movies and learn to play all the songs! I want to get into poetry and also learn more about rap so I can share my loved ones’ interests! I want to move more and also eat healthy and cook and bake and sew and dance and sing and paint! So in the end I try to do all of those and forget to make plans, so I end up isolated inside my house, which is kind of terrible for my mental health. It kind of backfires.
And when I feel lonely, I want to have people with me right now, not make plans for the next week. So I don’t make plans, and the next week I end up feeling lonely again. But calling and asking who has time now would come off as too needy, wouldn’t it? I’m sure everyone else is busy, and I don’t want to be rejected, so I end up not even asking.
Idk. Does anyone else feel like this?