Toxic People - Blog Posts

Sea of thieves... again....

Why people...why .....I was selling my stuff, at least the courtesy of communication because that's just bullying...like seriously why attack one guy, I didn't even have the loot they were emissaries for

Like seriously what the actual hell is wrong with people

People say Rare has a problem with updates but I see a problem is toxic players who literally attack people for barely any reason...Like seriously, you could've gone on your merchant voyages while I sold the gold hoarder stuff that I had

“mental health matters until i negatively affect others”

“mental health matters until i cant take accountability”

“mental health matters until i am a genuinely bad person”

“mental health matters until i violate someone’s boundaries”

“mental health matters until the abused becomes the abuser”

why do you expect us to sympathize someone who is toxic..abuse is still abuse, even if done by a mentally ill person.

Relationships are like food.

I just thought of this analogy and I think it works really well.

When making a meal you need to have a good flavor balance, you need the salty, the sweet, the savoury, and the spicy.

You are a part of the meal to so you need a food that compliments you well too. For example I think of myself as like a potato, I'm not super flavorful but I'm a good base and I go well with a lot of different flavors, aka I get along with people very easily. But there is certain foods that I get along with best and those are like my friends and family.

And so having relationships and making friendships is like making a meal. Sometimes you might need a bit more spice in your life so you will hang out with a more adventurous friend. Or maybe you don't like spice so you hanged out with a more sweet friend.

But it's still important to have a balance in your diet, to much of one thing can also be bad.

And some times someone doesn't compliment your flavor and it's okay. You can't expect everything to taste good together.

This also might be why opposites attract, they taste well together even if it's an odd flavor combination.

I just think that this is a cool concept and way to look at relationships.

What I Can’t Say To My Brother

You are fundamentally a bad person. You are furious. You are selfish. You are a liar. You are a gaslighter. You are a thief. You are misogynistic. You are queerphobic. You are racist. You are intolerant. You are abusive.

Everything has been handed to you. You do not have to try to succeed in anything. You’re athletic, charismatic, talented, pretty enough to look like every leading man in an action flick , and every body wants you to succeed. I grew up hearing and watching everyone fawn over you. Kids at school would make friends with me just so they could come over to the house to hangout with you.

“Deven’s so smart, you know when he was little he spoke Russian and Spainish?”

“Deven’s so handsome he should be a model!”

“Deven’s so good at fixing computers!”

Your life could’ve been astronomically better than mine. But you couldn’t even do the bare minimum of effort or pretense of it to even coats on by. You’ve pissed every opportunity away. Every ounce of goodwill people have given you, you’ve sucked it dry.

The money you stole to party with your rich kid friends (who you also mooched off of to the point they stopped talking to you) almost made our family homeless. Every girlfriend you’ve ever had would sheepishly admit that you bragged about stealing money from me to pay for the date and would slip me a twenty from their purse as an apology.

Every girlfriend you’ve had you also drove to have an emotional breakdown. You purposely went after women with emotional problems and no support structure so you could bully them. These were women who wouldn’t know what a real healthy normal relationship is supposed to be. You did that on purpose.

You claim our mother is the person you love the most in the world (after yourself). You take money from her (you steal from her on occasion).The few times she tried making boundaries you guilted her and blamed. Our mother, the one parent we share in our blood, the one parent who actually stuck around for you.

My poor mother had to give up her dreams of travel and further education, of making beautiful art, all so she could give birth to a pitiful man like you. She was sixteen and scared out of her mind. She was hurting from a father that abondomded her as well, and you fucking play on that with your POS dad’s behavior. You use your fear of abondomenr as a fucking excuse.

You dare try to lecture me. You dare try and take some sort of moral authority and intellectual stance. I only speak to you at family functions out of the bare necessity to not hurt our poor grandmother’s feelings.

How fucking dare you try to explain the origins of storytelling and myth. I’m a fucking English Major with a concentration in creative writing my thesis is based around archetypes. I’m not taking intellectual or academic sources from a man who got a full ride to college but flunked our his first semester because he didn’t show up to class and didn’t do homework.

You only showed up to take tests. (College students who do this have the brains to check the professor’s attendance policy and grading system to see if they can pass and get away with it.) You also didn’t have the spine to tell our parents what you were actually doing, you would drive up to college and sleep in your car, like the jellyfish you are.

It took everything I had in me not to tear you down with a few sentences. You have to feel like the smartest person around. You dared to say you were, “The Muhammad Ali of Knowledge.”

Every memory of you cornering me and screaming at me to agree with you and your shitty pints. You would t let me leave til I said you were right in between choking back sobs burned in me. You and your need to control every body around you.

I could’ve destroyed you. Just a few flippant words, because let’s be real, what we say causally is usually what devastates others the most.

“Relax, you’re only my half-brother.”

“So, how smart do you have to be for your dad to finally give a shit about you?”

“What’s it like to have a dad that doesn’t love you?”

But I didn’t, you know why? Because I’m not you. That would’ve been a Deven move.

This is a great list and so very true. You find a lot of this toxicity in Dd/lg and D/s relationships too. It is so important to establish a healthy relationship no matter what relationship type you are in. It is important that your partner is always respectful of you, your needs, your boundaries, your goals in life and that they always support your personal growth. If your partner doesn’t do this for you then you need to rethink your relationship. If you can’t do this for your partner then you need to work on your own issues and trauma first. There’s nothing cool, sexy or romantic about toxic habits. Build good relationships, respect yourself and your partner. Always!

What I mean when I say "toxic monogamy culture"

the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love

the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities

the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, either you’re inadequate or they’re too needy

the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else

the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity

the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship

the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on

the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life

the idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself

Just a small friendly reminder:

Everyone knows toxic chemicals are harmful for the physical health. Likewise toxic people are also harmful for mental health. It is wise and healty to stay away from them.

“i realize now, that loving him was neither beautiful nor poetic; it was knowingly walking through hell every day and losing myself there.”

- a.m. {trying to love someone who is too broken to be fixed}

i tore myself apart, trying to give you the whole world. and when i returned - bloodied, exhausted and proud - somehow, for you it still wasn't enough.

-a.m. {will i ever be?}

gonna try to post consistently, but i like just ran away from home so

might take a while

Love

Dazai x Reader (Tw: Toxic relationship, forcing feelings onto another, just a bad relationship)

Love. Everyone wants to be loved, right? You were not different, you wanted to be loved, just not by him. Not the way he loved you.

His love was different from what you had been told love was meant to be. Not a single moment did you have to yourself for he followed you wherever you went like your shadow.

You were aware of how he felt for he confessed his love for you every waking moment yet such grand gestures you disliked.

Love was meant to be gentle and slow; he was anything but, you felt that you almost had an obligation to return his feelings with the way he forced them upon you with such passion.

Love was meant to be giving the other freedom knowing that you could trust them. Freedom was a foreign concept in your relationship as he intruded into your other friendships consistently.

Never did he leave you to your own devices constantly impeding upon your tasks with his pointless confessions of love. Never did he ask if this is what you wanted or if you had loved him back, he just assumed the reciprocation of his feelings.

Brown eyes you had once found beautiful, you now found their gaze to be alarming and uncomfortable. His love was obsessive, you were the thief of a heart you never meant to steal and did not know how to give it back.

For Dazai Osamu you were a breath of fresh air, and personally you had never felt more suffocated.

Toxic Dazai head canon

He definitely gets suffocating to be around when he has a crush on someone.

Blue

Dabi angst fic, not really proof read, doesn’t contain any strong topics aside from strong hatred.

Cold. Cold was all you felt, a feeling you had almost forgotten. Forgotten how cruel it was how it was as it enveloped your bruised and beaten body. Snowflakes fell from the dark, chilly sky as wind weaved through the buildings.

Sitting atop the snowy ground you were leaning against the hard mossy brick of the LOV building a shadow cast along your face as you held your body together despite the pain from the burns and bruises. With labored breathing you raised your head to look at his face. Turquoise eyes stared back, the way they looked at you made the snow beneath your feet feel almost warm in comparison.

You had predicted this day long ago and knew it was only a matter of time before it came. You had played your role for the league you had performed admirably, it earned you praise among them. Now that you had done your part you were to be disposed of because you were no longer of worth.

You knew this was coming, you knew you wouldn’t be around for too long, you were almost hyper aware of it. Yet you cracked just a bit, you let yourself smile a little too genuinely at his snide comments and rude remarks, relished a bit too much at the feeling of his rough and burnt skin. Relaxed a tad bit more than you should have at the familiar burnt smell from him.

Doomed from the beginning, you knew that you were and no matter how many heinous crimes you committed, no matter how much blood you covered your hands in... You found yourself to be unable to rid yourself of the human feeling of love despite society seeing you as no longer human.

Though on this snowy day in January, you remembered why you should have ridden yourself of this emotion. Giving a cold-eyed appraisal of the situation, he stepped forward though you could not bring yourself to even uselessly try pushing back farther into the wall. Your body ached and started to go numb starting from your legs. The wounds ached a bit more when he squatted down to your eye level.

You knew you were fighting back tears finally met with the despair of death you both had cruelly tormented others with. His hand reached out to caress your face, his touch was disgustingly gentle, quite different to the harsh and hot hands he had beat you with just a few seconds earlier.

Staring back at him with red watery eyes you were sure you looked pathetic for someone who was infamous for being such a cruel and powerful villain. Everything you had once felt for the black-haired man before you were nothing more than a wistful memory. All that was left was a very bitter feeling that seemed to bubble over in the moment. Gathering what little strength you had left you spat at his face the glob landing on his cheek, his eyes flashed for a split second with amusement.

The hand he had placed on your cheek swept over a wound to collect the blood which in turn made you hiss in pain. “You really don’t know when to knock it off do you?...Always hated that about you, you know?” His croaky voice that you once enjoyed filled you with nothing but abhorrence now, your eyes were no longer teary, instead they stared into his cold ones with malevolence.

Not that you cared anymore but you still found yourself searching for an inkling of emotion in his lackluster eyes, but you found nothing.

The slightly warm palm that had been held to your cheek without moving much had begun to heat up slowly but surely. He started talking once more his tone casual not befitting the current situation at hand “hey you had that really dumb nickname for me...What was it again...Oh...Blue.” It was a nickname you had given him when you first joined the league, and you did not know his name.

Everything you had done led right up to your demise but what you regretted most was letting that emotion even if it was just a little. You should have known a man like himself lost the ability to love another long ago leaving only the hollow shell where a soul once resided. Perhaps it would have made this moment less bitter, perhaps if he loved you in return, it could have been bittersweet.

His hand continued to heat up while his other hand stroked your hair. It was in an almost mocking manner like he was trying to comfort his partner after a grueling day. Even as his hands heated up to an excruciating degree he did not cease his action.

Oh, how you resented him.

But oh, how you resented yourself more for being a fool.

His vile smirk was the last thing you saw before your body went up in a hot flash and your vision was taken over by one color.

Blue.

To R,

I gave you everything and forgot who I was; you lived with me, I stood my ground when you mother screamed at me and threatened my family. I kicked that door down when you od'd, I always defended you. I was there when V was in the hospital and all you did was sob. You almost killed me multiple times and I forgave you. You threatened to kill yourself multiple times to get me to stay, and I did. You stole my money, you used my name to steal. In the end you ghosted me, in the end you told them I was crazy, in the end you lost someone who saw you as a sister. You won't use me again and I remember who I am, goodbye for good. - A

I'm finally angry at the way that I was treated.

I never understood why parents punish/ground their kids for having bad grades. obviously, your child is struggling academically and needs help...so... Your choice is to punish them..? Maybe if you took time out of your oh so busy life, and tried to help your child study, make it fun even! they'd be doing better in school. They might even be struggling mentally, punishing them just makes it worse and makes them less modivated. Your child needs human understanding, they're not a robot. This can lead to your child being scared to ask for help, or pushing themselves to be perfect, stressing over a less than perfect grade. Stop saying your child is a failure, you're just a bad parent.

Sometimes you might feel trapped into someone's mind games. Remember you don't have to play, you don't have to win, you don't have to prove yourself to someone so toxic. You can walk away. You can turn your back at them. Block them. Never respond to them. You can protect your mind, your emotions and your life from never ending games by not giving the other person attention. They are not deserving of the energy it takes you to play cat and mouse with them forever.

Friendly reminder: Communication is key. Perhaps it isn’t working? That is okay. Walk away because someone has changed the locks. You can’t force something that doesn’t work.

Kristen Applegate