Tda - Blog Posts

Kit in school (b4 TDA obviously) (bc I think he went to school??)

Teacher: Kit, I said the paper was suppose to be double spaced.

Kit: *oh shit* I was trying to save paper.

Teacher: The assignment was submitted online.

Kit:

Kit: True, but in order to break my habit of using a lot of paper in real life I have taken an oath to reduce the amount I use online as well.

Imagine not praying to James Carstairs every night... couldn't be me 🙏🏼

Mugger: *points gun* Your money or your life

Julian: Sure thing

Julian: *hands him his ID* You got 5 siblings but you are more like a mom than an actual brother to them. Oh, and you're running a whole institute by yourself since you were 12.

Mugger: No, I mean-

Julian: *already grabbing Emma’s hand and running away* You’re late for Ty’s recital

Julian: *knocks on the door*

Mark: Who is there?

Julian: It’s me, Mark

Mark: Don’t lie to me, I am Mark!

Julian: *leaves without even opening the door*

Jem: Please, don’t make fun of me if I misuse outdated cultural references, okay? Are we cowabunga on this?

Kit, about to cry: Yeah, we’re cowabunga on this

!Shadow and Bone (Netflix Show) Spoiler!

Inej throwing her knife at the Darkling has the same energy as Emma throwing hers at Sebastian in City of Heavenly Fire

Ty: So as some of us know, Julian may appeal a little scary…

Kit: “A little”? That boy's a stone cold Slytherin

Mark: Oh shit, a cockroach!

Julian: Well, take off your shoe and kill it!

Mark: *takes shoe off and squashes it with his bare foot*

Julian: NO-

Julian: AND WHY THE FCK WOULD YOU DO THAT??!

Kit: Why is helping someone hide a body the standard for true friendship?

Kit: Look, if you’re in trouble, I’ll lie to the cops for you. I’ll dispose of evidence. Whatever.

Kit: But please I am begging you, do not make me dig a hole. That sounds so hard.  

Dru: *Stares blankly*

😂❤

So maybe I don’t have muscles, or hair in certain places and sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes I leave it on! ‘Cause dang it, top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason! They’re catchy!

Kit Herondale, probably

Diego: Yesterday my fiancée Zara cheated on me with my best friend Manuel.

Jamie: Wait, since when is Manuel your best friend?

Diego: Since yesterday.

Tessa, looking around Kit’s room: That’s odd. There are takeout food containers in the trash...

Kit: That’s my dinner from last night.

Tessa: What’s odd is that they’re in the trash

*Jem giving Kit a present*

Jem: Happy birthday, Kit! I hope you love it. I’m sorry I couldn’t find any wrapping paper, so I wrapped it in hundred-dollar bills.

Kit: I love it already

Livvy: Hey, can you watch my drink for a second while I go to the bathroom?

Kit: Sure, but isn’t letting dudes watch your drink a bad idea?

Livvy: I just saw you mouth all the words to that Taylor Swift song and figured that you were harmless

Kit: I got you

Ty: Kit, please don’t pronounce “Hors D’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” ever again

Kit: Not to brag

Kit: but I solved a puzzle in 2 weeks

Kit: and the box said 2-4 years

Ty:

Emma: I’m fine.

Julian: No, you’re not fine. How could you possibly be fine? You’ve been STABBED!

Emma: But I’ve been stabbed before, so it’s fine.

Julian: You don’t just develop an immunity to stab wounds!

Raziel: Did you give Johnny Rook the bison as I told?

Angel: Wait, what?

Raziel: The bison, so that he can shoot it and get his anger issues out...?

Angel: The bi son...

Raziel: The bison...

Angel: Bi son

Raziel: B i s o n

Angel: B i - S o n

Kit: Hello 911? My hands are both stuck in Pringles tubes… both hands, yes…

Kit: Look, it’s not important how I dialed the number, just send help... STOP LAUGHING

Jem: Netflix lied to me

Jem: I’ve never seen bad boy types protecting stray kittens revealing to me their soft side

Jem: It’s always me picking up the kittens.

Jem:

Jem:

Jem: Maybe I’m the bad boy

Kit: *crying* You’ve failed me. I thought I could trust you. Once again, I’ve been left homeless. After all I’ve done for you!

Mina:

Jem:

Tessa: I think we should stop playing monopoly…

Mark: Hi, I’ve stolen your identity and I’ve been living as you for a week.

Julian: …

Mark: [starts crying]

Julian: [hugging him] hey, it’s okay…

Mark: [loud sobbing] How do you even get up in the morning?

Julian: Shh, I know, I know. It’s gonna be okay.

Julian: It's really cold outside.

Kit: Just like my heart.

Julian: Now is not the time to debate which one of us is more dead inside.

Kit: I thought I was meowing back to church for the past few hours

Kit: Turns out it was just Jem and I meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

Kit: Cancelling plans is okay. Staying home to watch a film is okay. Moving to another country to avoid the love of your life is okay.

Kit: It’s called self-care

Jem, staring at his phone: Kit, I have a question.

Kit: What’s up?

Jem: What does “thicc” mean? It has to c’s.

Kit: Uh, well, I- it kind of means, uh, like… I guess it kind of means you have a nice butt.

Jem: …

Kit: …

Jem, squinting intently at his phone, whispers: What the fuck, Lily

𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘄👑👱 🤝 𝗸𝗶𝘁👑💙

- Bisexual blonde disasters

- Thinking Jem is The Coolest™

- In love with someone who they think could never love them back🥺

- beING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

- Beautiful & charismatic

- impeccable fashion taste

- a BIG FUCKIN MOOD

Kit, running into the room: HEY-

Jem: shhhh Minaa is sleeping

Kit: oh ok sorry

Jem: what's up?

Kit: the cat is on fire-

Ty, noticeable disheveled as he enters the room: sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff

Kit, also disheleved and grinning smugly: I'm stuff