Pegasus Market - Blog Posts

Alice in the Mart

—A rollercoaster-y reboot

In this AI mashup of Pegasus Market and Alice, a group of misfits at a failing supermarket headed by a ruthless demoted CEO determined to close it down discover in the basement of the supermarket a portal to a future world. This other world is called Alice, a parallel universe where anything is possible. The supermarket employees now have a chance to use Alice to find new products and ideas to save their jobs, whereas the CEO does his best to sabotage their efforts.

In the end, only one side can succeed. Will the employees be able to save their store? Or will the CEO succeed in closing it down?

Alice Promoter Droid (with real-time human dubbing in places):

Hey there, prehistorics, welcome to our hyper-advanced world of mealtime solutions in AL Year 160!

Employees:

We want to upgrade our instant ramyun.

Alice Promoter Droid:

A perfect choice! Allow me to introduce… Hydroponic Instant Ramyun! Simply put this widget in a pot of boiling water and wait 5 seconds! The Hydroponic Instant Ramyun has been infused with hyper-intelligent nanotechnology that turns water into instant noodles! With 13 flavors to choose from, there is something for everyone! A small box filled to the brim with packets of instant ramyun-shaped tools, with cool, futurist packaging. Lots of flashing colors

CEO:

How amusing. No processed food is truly instant. Guys, guys, let's launch a green campaign that gets shoppers to queue up for the ramyun for an hour for the benefit of environmental justice!

(Shoppers curious about the queue end up snaking around the street like noodles coiling around chopsticks. Hydroponic Instant Ramyun goes out of stock due to over-demand. Disappointed shoppers end up buying less processed noodles so that they get something out of the queuing time, and subsequent shoppers start to think that the amazing queue is meant for the less processed noodles. The less processed noodles become a sensation, driving up sales. The CEO receives his Earth Protector of the Year award with the scowl of the year.)

Employees:

We shall ride on the sustainability wave! Give us sustainably raised seafood.

Alice Promoter Droid:

I present to you… The Fish Printer! This amazing device prints out a random fish fillet that uses the fish's DNA as a template. No overfishing in the future, no siree! Enjoy the taste of responsibly-sourced fish! A large tube with lots of buttons

CEO:

What did the saying about giving a man a fish say? Hold pompous talks on every yawn-inducing detail about printer construction and assembly, right in the middle of the fish section.

(The tech speaker from Alice turns out to be a beauty tech-enhanced beauty who gets flocks of men shopping for fish alongside the housewives.)

Employees:

Alice is the Queen! Alice is the Heart of Hearts! Cabbages next.

Alice Promoter Droid:

I bring you… The Cosmic Cabbage! This cabbage is grown in interplanetary conditions, which creates a unique and delicious flavor unlike anything you've ever tried! Be warned, it may not have the same nutritional value as Earth cabbage. Enjoy! A large purple cabbage in a futuristic farm

CEO:

You get the origin of the name? Add cosmic garbage to the promo leaflets.

(The funny results become the talk of the town. Sales obligingly soar.)

Employees:

We're living the ultimate dream. What did we do to earn such a genius boss? What other magic can he pull off? Do you sell only mealtime solutions? We have a boring stationery section.

Alice Promoter Droid:

I am glad you asked! Try Venus-grown pens, made using the special materials found within Venus' thick, toxic soil. They are known for retaining ink for up to 200x longer than ordinary pens. They are also known for causing horrible mutations, cancer, and other life-threatening side-effects. It's a fun gamble either way!

Employees:

…

Alice Promoter Droid:

I can assure you, Venus-grown pens have been extensively tested. In lab conditions, we were able to reduce mutations by a whopping 15%. So come on and gamble your health for a fun little pen!

CEO:

I counter that offer! An Earth-bound vacation, on Jeju island's volcanic soil, for all employees as a reward for their mega sales growth! Why, I see, no one's interested.

Employees:

Me! Me! Me!

(The CEO smirks to himself. Surely the vacation will reverse the sales trajectory?)

Alice Promoter Droid:

I can help! Introducing the Stasis Capsules! Just insert yourself into the pod and select the desired duration, as short as you need, and the capsules will hibernate your body while your mind waves are sent to your selected vacation resort, as immersively as you want! You'll wake up feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. Disclaimer: Some users have reported waking up with amnesia or as a different species, but it shouldn't be anything to worry about. Small pods with lots of glowing buttons

CEO:

Take your bodies to Jeju island too, you fools. Me and new temporary staff will cover for you.

(In a heroic shot, the CEO takes off his blazer and quickly rolls up his sleeves to go around peddling noodles, fish and cabbages, cursing himself under his breath. Rapturous applause breaks out among the employees before they thank the droid and disperse.)

Alice Promoter Droid:

(Smiling quietly to itself)

Take this along. I present to you the Stellar Compass! A device displaying an interactive map of all known stars and solar systems, and even calculating the fastest routes to whichever one you desire, wherever your happiness lies. A pocket-sized holographic display of our solar system in AD 2023

Credits

Concept: Bard

CEO's DNA: Pegasus Market

Alice Promoter Droid: Computer scientist Landon S's brilliant 2389 AD Designer + said human dubbing

Top image: WOMBO