Nigel Banyai - Blog Posts

Another quick little ✨thing✨ Hannibal definitely made mac and cheese after and they all sat at the dinner table eating macaroni and cheese ✨✨✨

All I can think of rn is Adam having a complete meltdown and Nigel not knowing how to help so he calls Hannibal and Duncan to help and Hannibal tells him what to do and when that doesn't work Duncan just fucking comes to their place with a bunch of star stickers for Adam (I'm having artblock rn or else I'd draw it. Plus an extremely bad English day)

Great minds think alike pookie ✨✨

All I can think of rn is Adam having a complete meltdown and Nigel not knowing how to help so he calls Hannibal and Duncan to help and Hannibal tells him what to do and when that doesn't work Duncan just fucking comes to their place with a bunch of star stickers for Adam (I'm having artblock rn or else I'd draw it. Plus an extremely bad English day)

OMG stop

I imagine Duncan and Hannibal coming to the house I. IMMEDIATELY know Hannibal is already in action trying to help Adam trying to calm him down and Duncan is just over in the corner getting ready to walk over to Adam when he’s calming down and place a star sticker on his forehead or the breast pocket of his shirt being like 😌👍🏻

(Yk they all would try to help but Hannibal would tell them to shut up and go away)

All I can think of rn is Adam having a complete meltdown and Nigel not knowing how to help so he calls Hannibal and Duncan to help and Hannibal tells him what to do and when that doesn't work Duncan just fucking comes to their place with a bunch of star stickers for Adam (I'm having artblock rn or else I'd draw it. Plus an extremely bad English day)

"Hello gorgeous"

small spoiler spacedogs👀

"Hello gorgeous"

Lazy spacedogs drawing

I had/have art block and then remembered I should post on Christmas... it was 4 in the morning the day of

Merry Christmas!!!

Here's some Mads Mikkelsen characters

As you can tell I had a lot more practice with his face in the first (and newest) image compared to the last...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65369347/chapters/168209467

Here’s chapter one! I kept it pretty short and simple for the start. Hope y’all enjoy!

Hey guys!

I know this is probably terrible timing, but I did want to let y’all know I’ll be taking a small break

or at least I don’t anticipate it to be long. My mental health hasn’t been the best, and I’ve got a lot of medical stuff I gotta take care of rn. So sorry to let y’all down like this. I’m super grateful for you guys, and I’ll do my best to be back soon.

Note: Some good news is that I’ll still be continuing my AO3 story tho! Since I only really plan to posting once a week, I think it won’t be too much on me. I also haven’t posted the link for it on here yet ’cause I’m still working through some stuff in chapter one.

Anyway, love y’all and stay safe 🤍

Were not the bliss too often crost

By that unhappy vile distrust,That gnawing doubt, and anxious fear, that dangerous malady,

That terrible tormenting rage, that madness, jealousy.

It is love that tortures you, isn’t it?

You don’t speak of it but I know and so do you.

I did not like that.

I cannot keep going like this. I will drive over to Beth and her family.

Adam, have you ever seen Cosmos with Carl Sagan? I've always wanted to watch the original but I've only seen the reboot with Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

- 🧷 (safetypin-non)

Yes, I watched it many times. More than I can count. It’s my favorite show.

You should watch it, I can only recommend it.

One advantage of communicating online instead of in person is that if something somebody says flusters or overwhelms you, you can just choose not to respond.

You can pretend you didn’t see it at all. I think that’s handy.

If you could assign constellations to your associates/friends what would they be and why?

I don't know much about constellations but I'd love to hear you talk about it :)

- 🧷

I actually spent some time thinking about this. It’s a interesting question, astronomy as a mirror for people. It’s not the first time I’ve made that comparison in my head.

So Nigel would probably be Andromeda. There’s something about Andromedas story that reminds me of him , chained and waiting, not exactly helpless, but holding back. Andromeda’s one of those constellations that’s easy to overlook unless you know where to look. But once you do, you stay looking. He’s like that. Quiet and beautiful, and much more capable than most realize. There’s distance there too. Something unspoken and mysterious. And maybe that’s part of it.

Abby is Lyra. Steady, constant sound in the background that makes everything else feel less chaotic. She’s the kind of friend that doesn’t try to change the rhythm, she plays along, and somehow makes the melody make sense. She won’t try to change but instead accept the people around her. I trust her more than I trust most people. Probably more than I know to articulate.

Duncan is definitely Ursa Major. He’s calm and grounded. One of those people you automatically listen to when they speak. Like the Big Dipper, It’s just always been there. Reliable. Big presence. Never unpleasantly overwhelming.

I see Tonny as Gemini. There is some sort of double-sided energy to him. Always talking, always bouncing between ten things at once. Sometimes it’s annoying. But he makes things feel alive. That counts for something. Very unapologetically himself.

Beth… She’d be Scorpius..I think. There was beauty, but also something sharp underneath. I thought I understood her. Maybe I didn’t. It’s hard not to associate that constellation with betrayal once you’ve been stung by someone you trusted. But I also think Scorpius is about change. You don’t walk away from it unchanged.

Lastly Hannibal , Aquarius. There’s a logic to him that i understand. The kind of person who thinks about everything three steps ahead. Our conversations are always sharp. Always interesting. We don’t need to be close emotionally to have a kind of mutual respect, and I appreciate that.

That’s how I see it right now.

That could change, maybe it won’t.

There’s been a recent development I’ve been turning over in my head for the past few days: Webb detected dimethyl sulfide (DMS) and dimethyl disulfide (DMDS) in the atmosphere of exoplanet K2-18b. If that doesn’t mean much to you, here’s the part that matters

On Earth, both compounds are exclusively produced by marine life. Specifically, phytoplankton.This doesn’t mean there’s life on K2-18b!.But it does suggest a potential biosignature one we can’t easily explain through geological processes. K2-18b is a sub-Neptune, around 124 light-years away in the Leo constellation. Its atmosphere contains carbon-bearing molecules, water vapor, and now these sulfur compounds. It orbits in the habitable zone of its star.

These are all promising conditions, though habitability and life are not the same thing!.Still, this is the first time we’ve detected a chemical in an exoplanet’s atmosphere that we only know to exist because of biology. That alone is worth sitting with.

I’m not someone who jumps to conclusions. But I am someone who believes in asking the right questions.

Is Nigel a Sheep or a Wolf ?

Nigel is a Human.

If you are asking what I think he’d be if he was an animal , which you should’ve worded more precisely , I think he’d be a dog.

But I can’t say for certain.

Understandable that you feel that way about the astronomical accuracies of minecraft. I wonder if there's pixelized constellations....

Off topic, but, as a fellow mac n cheese enjoyer, what is your favorite brand and/or recipe???

(I'm a big fan of Annie's white cheddar, it comes in a little purple box!!!)

- 🧷

Amazing Question.

I’ve been eating Kraft Mac & Cheese since I was a kid. The kind that comes in the blue box. I like the shape of the noodles. I like that it cooks in exactly the same way every time. And I like that it tastes the way I expect it to. Every box. Every time.

For a while, I stopped buying it. I tried really hard to switch to Annie’s; those boxes with the little bunnies on them. It was organic. “Healthier.” That’s what Beth told me. She wanted me to try something new. Something better. And I did. I ate a lot of Annie’s. I kept the boxes stacked neatly in my kitchen just like I used to with Kraft. But it didn’t taste right. It was okay. But not right.

After we fought, I went back to Kraft. I don’t think that’s symbolic of anything. Or maybe it is. I just missed the taste. I like knowing exactly how something will be. It’s comforting.

Also, I like the powdered cheese. I don’t care if it’s fake. It’s familiar.

If you met an alien, what would you tell and/or ask them?

Okay. First off: how do you breathe? Do you breathe? What kind of atmosphere are you used to? Is oxygen poisonous to you? Do you metabolize something else entirely? And your gravity, how strong is it? Do you walk upright? Do you even need to walk? What’s your skeletal structure like? Do you even have bones?

What’s your biology based on? Is there a version of DNA where you’re from? Or is it something entirely foreign to us? What’s your body temperature? Do you even need to regulate it? Do you get cold?

Do you perceive time linearly? Do you dream? Have you categorized your stars yet? What are your units of measurement? Do you know what we are? Have you been watching us the way we’ve imagined you?

And I think… after all that..I’d probably just say:

I’ve been waiting for you my whole life. Not you specifically, maybe. But the possibility of you. And now I have about a million more questions.

I can’t say that I understand the current obsession with Elon Musk.

If you strip away the marketing, most of what he’s done in space science is either derivative, outsourced, or bloated beyond reason. He didn’t invent rockets. He didn’t pioneer space travel. He just made it more profitable to pretend he did.

There are people like Tiera Guinn Fletcher, who was designing launch vehicles for NASA at 22. People like Swati Mohan, who helped land Perseverance on Mars. People like Natalie Panek, who works on building robotics for future Mars missions.

But instead we elevate Musk who slaps his name on decades of actual scientific progress. There are real pioneers in this field out there. Just not the ones selling flamethrowers and rebranding physics as marketing strategy.

I also have a purely personal dislike against him. He annoys me.

I recently read about Tardigrades, also called water bears, they are micro-animals that survive things most organisms wouldn’t even make it through halfway.

When conditions get extreme; dehydration, radiation, freezing, heat etc. they enter a state called cryptobiosis. That means they shut down almost all biological functions. No metabolism, no movement.

In this state, they’re called tuns. They can stay like that for years.

Then when water is added, they pick up where they left off like it’s nothing.

They’ve survived space exposure, temperatures from just above absolute zero to over 150°C, and pressure levels that would crush submarines.

They’re not strong in the usual way. They’re just built for their environment.

Yes, I do have a comfort show.

It’s ‘Cosmos: A Personal Voyage’.

I think I might just re-watch it today, maybe it’ll temporarily help my brain calm down.

Nothing feels real anymore.

EVERBODY always lies to me and I am stuck feeling like an idiot because I care about honesty. Why does nobody ever mean what they say? What even is the point in saying anything then?.

Oh, Adam. Beth didn’t deserve you, not by a long shot. I hope you’re doing okay. You always have a place to stay at mine if you ever need it.

- Duncan.

Thank you, Duncan.

I appreciate that you always welcome me.

I think I want to be alone in my apartment for now. I miss familiarity.

Beth always hated the idea of this blog. She didn’t want me posting as much so I didn’t.

All this time I tried so hard to make her happy. I stopped interacting with people I like because it made her uncomfortable, I stopped talking as much because it made her uncomfortable, I stopped behaving like myself because it made her uncomfortable.

I hate her and I hate myself.

Nothing feels real anymore.

EVERBODY always lies to me and I am stuck feeling like an idiot because I care about honesty. Why does nobody ever mean what they say? What even is the point in saying anything then?.

Beth lied to me.

She lied about her parents. About everything.

She knew what she was doing. She knew all along and she still let me believe it was all me. But she was the liar all along!.

I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I can’t think. I can’t breathe.

Everything hurts and I just want it to stop..

I hate her. I wish I never met her.

Hi Adam! I hope you're having a good day. I have a NASA shirt and a bracelet with planets n it that remind me of you.

Have you heard about the two astronauts that recently came back from space after being up in the ISS for a long time? What are your thoughts on that?

- 🧷 anon

Good evening!,

That is kind of nice to hear, actually. About the bracelet and the shirt.

And yes, I did read about the two. Spending that long in microgravity changes your body in ways we still don’t fully understand. It’s incredible what the human body can adapt to—but also, what it can’t. Your muscles atrophy, bone density drops, your cardiovascular system shifts. Even your eyesight can change. Some astronauts develop something called SANS—spaceflight-associated neuro-ocular syndrome. And then there’s the radiation exposure. Being up there for months is like being slowly rearranged by space. I think there must be something quietly haunting about coming back to Earth after so long..

Generally speaking, if somebody cares about you, they won’t actively try to change you, correct?.

I just want to make sure I understand that correctly.

I am currently watching the Raccoons while listening to this album.

I don’t feel that way with you though.

I never have so far.

I have learned that people say they want me to be myself, but they rarely ever mean it.

They mean: be myself, but in a way that makes sense to them. Be myself, but not so much that they have to rethink anything. Be myself, but not in a way that makes them wonder if they even know me at all. In a way that won’t embarrass them. And now I’m the one hesitating, trying to figure out what I’m apparently not giving—something I wasn’t even aware was missing.

And I have to wonder if I’m the one getting it wrong.

Good morning, Adam. How are you? : )

-Duncan.

Hello Duncan, please excuse my late response.

I have been feeling stressed out for a while now and I have lots of doubts.

How are you? It seems like you are in a relationship now, am I interpreting that correctly?.