Marauders Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts

marlene on her period: *curled up on the couch*

lily: *calls James* I need you to get chocolate, tea and pads, now

james: I bought everything, but Sirius ain't answering the phone

Marauders as shit my friends have said #2

"God, Sirius I can't believe you're insinuating that id ever earn my own money. i mean do I look like a hard worker to you?"

- Regulus Arcturus Black when asked about his career choice

marauders as shit my friends have said #1

*Sirius to James sometime after finding out about Jegulus*

Pointing out my daddy issues doesn't excuse your pedophilia

Sirius: but they’ll take a man that can’t read!

Remus: I can read!

Remus: I can read.. just not very well..

Sirius: you’ve always been jealous of me!

Regulus: jealous of what? Of your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? Your total disregard for other people's feelings?

Regulus: your lack of any critical thinking? Your ignorance? Your unawareness to anyone but yourself?

Sirius Black

marauders era characters by my daylist:

lily evans

Sirius: No, please don't do that, Chhhhjrist..

James: It's over, he's speaking baguette again.

Sirius: James-- no.

James: oui oui, im gonna hit you with fish and chips with a one way trip to france.

@nidoole I CAN'T FIND UR POST BUT HERE'S JAMES GIVING SIRIUS SHIT FOR HIS ACCENT

Remus: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.

Sirius: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Remus, already taking off their clothes: God, Sirius, you’re so fucking stupid.

dedicated to @urmumsfan

u a moron

Sirius: Bro- Remus: No, no, hold up, rewind. Remus: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Sirius: Do you love me? Remus: We’re literally married. Sirius: Yeah, but as friends or—

Dorcas: So regulus, do you have a crush on anyone?

Regulus: the only crush I have is my crushing anxiety

Regulus: and also James

(Inspired by a post by @ivysincorrectquotes!)

So fr

They're such hoes and I love them for it

(From pinterest)

One of the saddest things about the Black brothers relationship never improving was the fact that we were robbed of this dynamic duo of brothers who were both morally grey and dramatic as fuck.

Remus, watching as Regulus frantically tries to shove a dead body into a suitcase before the Aurors got there: So.... What'cha got there, Pads?

Sirius: . . .

Remus: . . .

Sirius: A smoothie.

Sirius: *sips strawberry-banana smoothie loudly*

James: *sneaking in through their window* Lily: *turning in their chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you've been all night? James: I was with Regulus? Regulus: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

James : Don't you carry a hair dryer in your purse?

Lily: Have you ever met an actual human who does?

James : Hey Sirius do you carry a hair dryer in your purse?

Sirius: Duh, I'm not an animal.

Peter is me and I am Peter

peter: to be fair, i'd probably bang mickey mouse

remus: EXCUSE ME WHAT

sirius: literally who the fuck asked

james: i get the rat/mouse part, but... he's a fictional character, mate

peter: yeah, and so are you

james: what is that supposed to mean???

peter: *looks directly at camera* nothing

Applying random stuff me or people around me said as marauders quotes

Remus after hearing a song in public: oh nice, i know how to play this in the acoustic guitar

Sirius: i wouldn't know, you never played for me

Remus: ?? Yes i did, that day at my parents house

Sirius: sure but you never serenaded me, you never went outside my window at night and played a beautiful song just for me

Remus: ...we live together, we share a room

Sirius: and would it hurt to go outside and pretend we dont??

Tonight i had a dream that some bitch burned my boyfriend with a cigarette but i couldnt beat her ass because she was way to strong and her whole family wanted to beat MY ass, so i went to BARTY and JAMES for help, the very first thing Barty asked me when i said i needed help was "who are we killing?" and honestly it was the best dream ive ever had

James "be nice to everyone because you never know when someone is having a bad day" Potter

Sirius "be nice to everyone because you never know when someone is a secret serial killer and will murder you just because" Black

Regulus "i am a secret serial killer and i will kill people that arent nice to me just because" Black

Applying random stuff me or people around me said as marauders quotes.

*jegulus laying on their bed, ready to sleep*

James, half asleep: hi beautiful, do you come here a lot?

Regulus: i live here, darling

James: me too! What a coincidence!!

Applying random stuff me or people around me said as marauders quotes

*Sirius and Remus coddling in bed together*

Remus: pads, i need to use the bathroom

Sirius: hmm no

Remus: ???

Sirius: see, heres the thing, the potter's house have the same rule with me that people have with kitty cats

Sirius: once i lay down on you or chose to hug you, you cant get up until i get up

Remus: I'll pee right here on your bed

Sirius, letting go immediately: bathroom's the last door down the hall

Applying random stuff me or people around me said as marauders quotes

*all of them trying to get to the movie theater while being high as a kite*

James: okay guys, enough fucking around, we are late as shit

Remus: yea, lets walk faster!

*sirius passes by, sprinting like his life depends on it*

Remus: NOT LIKE THAT, YOU IDIOT!

Applying random stuff me or people around me said as marauders quotes

*sirius, working as a cashier*

Sirius: GOD i hate working

Sirius: do you guys know how hard it is to be kind even when im dealing with an asshole?

Sirius: plus, I ALWAYS SOUND SO MATURE

Sirius: "Good morning sir! Your total will be 14,50$"

Sirius: I AM NOT A RESPONSIBLE ADULT, IM A IRRESPONSIBLE WEIRD TEENAGER THAT SMOKES AND LIKES TO CLIMB TREES FOR FUN!!!

James: dont worry, pads

James: it'll only get worse

Sirius: *silent screaming and planning murder*

Applying random stuff me or people around me said as marauders quotes³

Sirius: i have a hard time sleeping every night

James: yk what i do when i canr sleep? I exercise, that way i get tired

Remus: when i can't sleep, i stare at the ceiling and contemplate every single decision i have ever made in life for it to be as it is right now and try to see where i got it all wrong

Sirius:

Peter:

James:

Sirius: you turned my exact feelings into words, my dude

Applying random stuff me or people around me said in marauders quotes²

*after a whole day in hogsmead*

Sirius: how much of an asshole would i be if i spent my mother's money on cigarettes rn

James: use the money to eat something dude, nicotine is not food

Sirius: yea but sometimes, one flavoured cigarette can be dinner

James: no it cant

Remus: ur right

James: thank you!

Remus: for it to be a proper dinner, it would have to be the whole pack

James: guys nO-

Applying random stuff that me or people around me said as marauders quotes

James: im worried about you

Sirius: relax Prongs, im invincible

Sirius: there's not a thing in this world that i cant overcome with my sense of humor and an absurd amount of drama

James:

James: ok, fair

"People should really appreciate my sense of fashion more, do you fuckers know how absolutely HARD it is to manage being incredibly cool and sexy all the time while being unbelievably depressed?"

-sirius black, probably at some point in his life

*after james's bday party at the common room*

Remus: now that im sober the memories of everything i said and did yesterday are coming and im actually very embarassed

Remus: sorry guys

Sirius: relax moony, it be like that sometimes, now you just have to say "I'll never drink again", get even more waisted at the next party and repeat it every weekend

*Mcgonagall forcing Sirius to apologize to snape for a random prank*

Sirius: i used a spell to make your hair pink for a prank, and for that i am very...

Snape:

Sirius:

Mcgonagall: oh, you kind of trailed off there, Mr. Black. Were you going to finish your sentence?

Mcgonagall: it felt like you were going to say you were sorry.

Sirius: i did! Peter heard it!

Peter: uh, i would remember if someone said my catch phrase