Kitsunen - Blog Posts

GUH

I HATE IT. I HATE IT SO MUCH. IT COULD BE SO GOOD BUT ITS LEANING TOO FAR INTO STEREOTYPES AND TRYING TOO HARD TO MAKE THE CHARACTERS “ZANEY” AND “ADULT” WITH NOTICEABLY FORCED MOMENTS, BUT IT COULD BE SO GOOD. IT COULD BE SUCH A GENUINELY WONDERFUL DEPICTION OF POLYAMORY AND FINDING WAYS TO NOT LET YOUR TRAUMA HOLD YOU BACK EVEN WHEN IT TRIES TO COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU, OF THE ABUSE AND HOMOPHOBIA QUEER PEOPLE OFTENTIMES FACE FIRST IN THEIR OWN HOME. ITS TRYING TOO HARD TO BE THE ADULT VERSION OF THE 12+ SHOW ITS EMULATING, AND I CAN UNDERSTAND WHERE THE WANT FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT COMES FROM CONSIDERING I MYSELF NOTICE HOW IT FEELS LIKE THE ORIGINAL GOT MORE AND MORE BABY SENSORY BRAIN-ROT AS WE ALL GREW YP AND MATURED, LIKE IT WAS GOING BACKWARD WHILE WE ALL MOVED FORWARDS, PROGRESSING IN REVERSE AND ALL THAT, BUT ITS LEANING TOO FAR INTO IT. ITS CRAPPY AND CRINGY AND NOT IN THE CRONGE BUT FREE WAY BUT ALSO YES IN THE CRINGE BUT FREE WAY AS IN IT COULD BE CRINGE BUT FREE AND GOOD BUT IT ISNT BECAUSE OF HOW HARD THEIR PUSHING, AND HOLY SHIT IS THIS HOW SHEN YUAN FELT ABOUT PIDW CAUSE DAMN AM I ABOUT TO FUCKING RIOT.

SCORPIO IS LEANING WAY TOO HARD INTO THE SOFT BUT FIRM VOCAL TONES TROPE, LIKE THE WOLF THAT FEARS THE EFFECTS OF ITS OWN BITE AND THUS PULLS ITS TEETH, AND THAT COULD BE WONDERFUL IF THEY WERENT SO SET ON IT BEING BLACK AND WHITE, THEY CONSTANTLY EITHER MAKE HIM COMEDIC BUT SILENT OR TRAUMATIZED BUT SILENT, AND THE SWITCH UPS ARE VERY JARRING- PLUS HIS MOMS VOCAL INFLECTIONS, DESIGN, AND GENERAL BEHAVIOR MAKE HER FEEL LESS LIKE THE MANIPULATIVE NARCISSISTIC ANTAGONIST SHE SHOULD BE AND MORE LIKE A VILLAIN ONLY PUT IN TO EITHER BE THE EVIL VERSION OF HER COUNTERPART IN THE ORIGINAL SHOW OR A PRETTY OLDER LATINA LADY TO DRAW IN VIEWS.

SCORPIOS BEST FRIEND WHOS NAME I CANNOT CURRENTLY REMEMBER WHO IS POSSIBLY THE SECOND ML IS VERY SWEET BUT THEY LEAN TOO FAR INTO MAKING HIM THE DUMBASS WHO ONLY THINKS ABOUT FOOD, WHICH COULD BE GOOD IF HE AT LEAST HAD SOME LEVEL OF EMOTIONAL OR SITUATIONAL AWARENESS, BUT BOTH HE AND SCORPIO ARE INCREDIBLY PUSHY, CONSTANTLY BREAKING THEIR WAY THROUGH OTHERS BOUNDARIES AND PUSHING INTO THE FIRST ML’S SPACE. 1ST ML CLEARLY STATES A MULTITUDE OF TIMES THAT HES CREEPED OUT, UNCOMFORTABLE, AND THAT HE WANTS THEM TO LEAVE HIM ALONE, AND THEY NEVER DO. THE WORST PART IS, THIS WORKS FOR THEM. 1ST ML IS THE CLASSIC TSUNDERE CHARACTER-TYPE AND HE APPARENTLY SECRETLY LIKES THEM PUSHING PAST HIS BOUNDARIES WITH ZERO REGARD FOR THE WORDS HE SAYS TO THEM WHICH IS AN INACCURATE DEPICTION OF ACTUAL SOCIAL SITUATIONS AND WILL, WETHER INTENDED TO OR NOT, TEACH YOUNGER VIEWERS (FINDING IT BY ACCIDENT BECAUSE IT LOOKS VERY SIMILAR TO APHMAU VIDEOS) THE ABSOLUTE WRONGEST INTERPRETATION OF CONSENT, THIS WILL TEACH KIDS THAT PEOPLE WILL LIKE IT IF YOU NEVER STOP PUSHING PAST THEIR BOUNDARIES.

ITS FUCKED. ITS ALL FUCKED. AND THE PACING IS SO RUSHED TOO, SECOND EPISODE AND THEIR ATILL FRESHLY MET NEIGHBORS ON THE SECOND DAY OF INTERACTING AND 1ST ML IS ‘SUBCONSCIOUSLY’ THROWING AROUND WORDS LIKE LOVE AND LIKE (romantic sense of like). ITS HORRIFIC. IM NOT ASKING FOR A SLOWBURN BUT DAMN GIRLIE IT AINT A SPEED ROUND YOU CAN SETTLE INTO IT GENTLY CANT YA? ITS SO INCREDIBLY UNHEALTHY THE WAY THEY ALL THREE IMMEDIATELY ATTACH THEMSELVES TO EACHOTHER, AND THE PLOT IS BERY CLEARLY TRYING TO PUSH 2ND ML INTO THE ROMANCE ITS DEVELOPING BUT IT STARTED TOO FAR INTO THE STRICTLY SUPPORTIVE BESTIE FOR IT TO NOT FEEL EVEN MORE UNNATURAL.

IF THEY WOULD JUST SLOW DOWN THE PACING TO SOMETHING GENTLER AND TINE DOWN THE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE THEIR CHARACTERS CONSTANTLY EITHER ZANEY AND RELATABLE OR ADULT AND SHIT THEN IT WOULD BE SO GOOD- THEY JUST NEED TO ACTUALLY FLESH OUT THEIR CHARACTERS AND THEIR FUCKING **DIALOGUE** ISTG ITS SO STILTED THE DIALAUGE MAKES ME WANNA CRY SOMETIMES BUT THEN OTHER TIMES ITS SUPER FUNNY AND THAT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY EVEN MORE BECAUSE IT WOULD BE SO GOOD IF ANYONE ACTUALLY BETA READ THIS HORRIFIC WATTPAD FANFIC OF A YOUTUBE SERIES.

Does anyone have any fics where Shen Yuan transmigrates into PIDW, but in his original body? Maybe any LiuShen ones?

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@shanuraru ‘s art got to me…

Heres a sneak peek of the fanart ive been doing for @kyosuku ‘s courtesan dazai au on ao3, you should absolutely go read it!!!!!

Okay so, i was at school in homeroom and i was wondering something- people outside of america, do you also have your own versions of the pledge of allegiance? This might be a really stupid question but I’ve honestly been staying super disconnected from everything outside of my room the past few years. In the case that you don’t know what the f/// im talking about, every day in the middle of the school day the pledge of allegiance is played over the loud speakers to the whole school, and depending on how lenient your teacher is you may be forced to stand facing whatever american flag is in the room, and either stay in absolute silence until its over, or recite the pledge along with whatever student body member was chosen to say it that day. I didn’t do middle school so personally i don’t know what they do in middle school, but in every single grade leading up to the last year of elementary school we were forced to stand still and silent facing the flag and reciting the pledge. And in Highschool we generally aren’t forced to stand usually, but sometimes you’ll get a class with a teacher who stands for the flag or kids just standing up in total silence facing the flag with their hands resting on their chests above their hearts. Its like, super eerie sometimes. Is this normal???? Or is america just weird like that????

Sometimes it feels like a little bit of ego mania is inherent to human nature, par for the course- other times it feels like im drowning in the doubt of whether im actually smart or just a narcissist. I always thought it was a problem that everyone had, but then i realized that the struggle to confirm to the self that you are who you say you are - whether you said who you were aloud to others or not - is not actually normal. Imposter syndrome is a finicky bitch that needs to pick a lane, are you sticking around or leaving me the hell alone- chop chop i wanna know. At the same time, i know that for people struggling with imposter syndrome (myself included) it can be really difficult to accept facts about yourself as true or untrue- especially when your an avid consumer of books and movies and shit, because every time you feel the imposter syndrome popping up your like “uhm, why do i sound like a book character- ew no, that is cringe i do not want to fall into tropes”

I feel like i need to say this where i can be judged for it so i can be sure i understand, because no one ever mentions it when they tell you to ‘be the bigger person’, but Being the bigger person isn’t about being more mature than whoever you’re arguing with, its about not letting yourself turn into the type of person you wouldn’t want to spend time with or hang out around. Don’t be the type of person you’d only befriend begrudgingly. Don’t ever stop trying to be the type of person you’d want to talk with.

If look back I’m sure I’ll remember, the words I held back and chose not to say. I am sinking, drowning, dying in my despair; a despair I caused and chose not to share. How I feel feels unimportant, not worthwhile of mention, I just wish I’d had said it before I started to feel benched in; inside my room is where I’ve chosen to stay, despite how I wish and want to feel the sun and go out to play. I have not the words to describe the way I feel caged, it’s pitiful truly. Stuck in a gilded prison I myself made. I find it sad though to be honest, I finally spoke my mind and mentioned this bind that in myself I find; and the reaction was tame, it makes me feel lame to say that I was hoping for hope, for words left unspoken to fall from my mouth and for your response to make me not quite hate myself, but here I am sitting in bed, phone in my hand and pillow at my head listening to you ramble on unabashed, wishing I’d trusted you less and acted less rash. Your speech is slow, words are slurred as you speak about pottery sharing interests long unheard. A part of me feels bad for my one word responses, for the fact that if you asked what you’d said I’d be at a loss for words that were supposed to be held in my mouth; words that even had I known I’d dare not spout. I love you my dear, you’ve always been there, and you’ve kept me up as sturdily as the chair, that was carved on the day I turned 8, I ate those feelings away, lost to the old wind, the passage of time, a reference to a time that bas never been mine but I have longed to reach in hopes of some simpler days that my mind conjured up in a tired, alone, upset, and tied down haze; And even as I speak these words now I am all to unsure that my words will be heard, that the ears I called forth for word, will brush me off to the side and my the words I once chose to keep but now relent on saying will once again go unheard. I love you my dear, but goddamnit are you dense; I wish I’d not crossed that fence, the line where I chose to belt out my heart in hopes that you’d hear, but to my dismay you were gone away in the fray of people living through their days, Ignoring me and walking around me without a word as if I am in their way.

“Is love bad sometimes?”

Sometimes. It can lead you to just let others hurt you. Sometimes we ignore the bad things people do or the bad way they treat us because of a good opinion of them, or because of loving them. It doesn't make the way they treat us okay, just means we don't recognize it- or consistently continue to create excuses for them in lieu of facing the way they treat us, and talking to them or cutting them off about/over it.

But it can also be really good. It can lead you to the best moments of your life- even if they were never really meant to stick around. Our idea of self-importance is never stuck relying on the person we love- even if we feel like we don't matter without the love of that person. Sometimes people just aren't meant to stick around. Some people get lucky and find "the one" early on, and others take a while to get there and find their loved one.

Some people die before or after their loved one, and have to live on afterwards, but I feel that it's important that we continue to live in those cases. After all, the person who loved us would only want for us to keep on making happy memories once their gone if they truly loved us. Love is a fickle thing, it can be so good when it's good, and heart-crushingly bad when it's bad. It's like a wave, you've gotta ride it. If you can't, you'll crash under the waves and have to swim to shore/get pulled out the sea and try again at that big ass wave. For those who want live, it can be the most wonderful thing in the world to experience, and for those who don't it's just lovely to see. Love takes time, and is difficult. It's different for everyone, and there's no one true way to go about it or explore it. It's something that can't really be perfected, as there's no perfection to it- just happy moments with those you love that feel perfect.

“But can you love someone too much?”

Yeah. And sometimes it can hurt. But you’ve gotta find out how to find the balance- otherwise it’ll fall apart. Sometimes though, we love someone just enough, and they don’t love us as much and so it feels like we love them too much. Doesn’t mean we do. However- it’s still entirely possible to live someone too much, you just have to be sure the person your handing your heart over to won’t drop it or let it fall. If you think the person you’ve given your heart to will hold it like it’s precious, and won’t let it fall. Then there’s no such thing as too much, there’s only just enough. Because they love you just about the same amount.

We push and we pull like two dancers of different types, a tango strong, fiery, and fierce, a flame that will never be pierced, meanwhile I am a dance much slower, a ballroom dance with the light much lower, a tune that plays soft, sad, and slow; not a word to be heard as I move to and fro. My soft sad tune is easily overwhelmed, as I hear the loud ringing bells of your fiery tango sounding clear and true, I would hope that you would find my tune a little bit happier as I sit by you but you’re too busy with your loud ringing bells, your fiery whistles, and your fast spinning moves. I wish for one second that you’d look me in the eye and notice the tears divine that threatened to spill and fill my heart will sorrow as I realize that you will only ever need me as a place to vent, or a person to use.

AHHHHH SEITCH DRAWINGS CHALLANGE W @thegreattowncrier

Wait, since we see bill cipher with his clothes on when He’s in therapy, does that mean that the only things he’s ever wearing is his bowtie and his top-hat?? Is he’s just always naked??? And since he doesn’t have the black limbs as a baby, is he always wearing shoulder length gloves and thigh highs? Has bill cipher been terrorizing children in the woods while half naked and only wearing thigh highs, gloves, a top hat, and a bowtie???

Drawing backgrounds is so much harder than i thought it’d be 😭

Hello there! Here’s my Draw This In Your Style! With my designs of Pines family! You can change colors and composition a little bit! Please use the hashtag #TheSeaShardsDTIYS to participate in this challenge!

Love ya!