Internal - Blog Posts

Yeah. TOO right. Both hands on those cheeks while I'm licking his seed out her 😍🤤

🧐..😒 OH. I'd not quite read that right as I rushed to post my agreement to every single detail. Both of us would at least agree on where the hands should be. First half ✅ after that my head is going to be a lot lower from then on. Lot more restricted vision as well, but it doesn't matter... between us she'll get a full service and valet... God... just look at her a..🥵

Both hands gripping on those cheeks while I'm pumping my seed in her 😍🤤

Occasionally, we encounter a silence that words cannot penetrate, a landscape of feelings that is too vast to articulate. There are times when we articulate thoughts with eloquence, yet they lack the warmth of genuine emotion. And then, in the rarest of moments, we find ourselves enveloped in a serene void, where neither feelings nor words exist, and all that remains is a tranquil emptiness.

Think rich, look poor.

Andy Warhol

An internal monologue I wrote from Regulus’ perspective about Jily. *Incredibly angsty.* (i don’t know how to do the read more thing but know that I would if I could)

I can’t identify my feelings while watching you. You walking in with her on your arm. You move your arm around her waist. She nuzzles into your neck, you kiss her hair.

You look happy. Different from when you were with me. You were happy with me too, but not like that. You look calm. At peace. Like everything has finally fallen in place. Well, everything was already in place, I guess I was the only thing that wasn’t.

I can’t even get mad. Trust me, I am. I am devastated.

No one knows. No one can see. But I am in mourning.

People say love shouldn’t hurt but love is hurt. Love is pain, jealousy, anger, fear, a slow and unmarked torture.

There’s a reason they call it heartache. To ache to be near them, to ache when you’re apart from them. There’s a reason you ‘fall’ in love. It is not deliberate, nor wanted, and if you don’t figure out how you’re going to land before you do, you’ll break.

But I have no right to hurt. I thought you were mine. You told me you were. But seeing you now… I guess we were both foolish. Because I will always be yours, but you were clearly never mine.

I can’t be upset with you when I was the one to fuck it all up. I was the one who pulled away when things got difficult. I was the one who shut down when you yelled. I was the one who couldn’t give you a proper answer. Couldn’t tell you just how much you mean to me. I hope you know I tried. I tried so hard. I promise.

I don’t think my promises mean much to you anymore.

But now, here we are. With you so happy, and me so far away. We were always in different worlds. Living different lives. But there was a point in time when you actually convinced me we could create a new one together. Just for us.

That’s the cruel thing about time. It gives you so much. It lets you experience things, love things, only to take it all away. The feeling lingers, the situation does not.

I wish time would speed up. Then the ache would fade. Then you would graduate and I wouldn’t be forced to watch you fall without me.

Then I would be dead. A fool who loved in silence. A fool who died in love.

Then you would be dead.

A fool who loved out loud.

A fool who died in love.

Would it be better if you left?