I Hope They're All Ok - Blog Posts

I remember being driven in an ambulance to a mental hospital and I was making jokes (it's a coping skill of mine) and one of the doctors in the car told me that I was bright for my age and he wished more people were like me. Two weeks later when I was being transported by van to the residential facility and I was I little quieter but every now and then I would tell a joke or two. The guy driving the van turned to look at me and told me that I was such a fun person and that I had a future where I would finally be happy. I still remember his face and his name was Lauffe. He always laughed at my jokes for the months of my stay and was so friendly. While I was there I met so many amazing people and it pained me to see them going through so much shit. I cared about all of them and I still remember all of them. Emily, Vanessa, Alora/Ace, Jacob, Julio, Andreza, Cassy, and a few more. If you guys are reading this, it's potato and I still think about you guys and hope you're alright. People really do care... 💖💖

please don't ever think that no one cares about you

I work in an ER and we see suicides all the time. And we get at least 3 suicidal ideations a night. We all care about you. I promise, we do. A team of complete strangers who have worked 3+ 12 hour shifts this week who are being screamed at all day and night and probably haven’t had lunch and trust me, we still love you and care about you.

We had a 16 year old patient last night who we couldn’t save. We were in that room with this patient for over an hour, we did everything we could. And let me tell you, we all cried. The EMT’s, the nurses, the doctor. We all huddled together in the doctors dictation room and cried.

I went through the rest of my shift with smudged mascara and tracks on my cheeks.

I remember the names of all the patients that have taken their lives on my shifts.

I remember squeezing the hands, smoothing the hair, kissing the foreheads, and wiping away the blood and the vomit of every patient that has left me too soon.

I can still see every face that I have zipped into a body bag.

Trust me, someone cares about you. You have never met them yet. You don’t ever think about them. They are never remembered when you talk about heroes and role models.

But someone loves you.