Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Charlie's knowledge of Earth began and ended in Eden. After living in Hell her whole life, she couldn't even comprehend a world where humans did not kill and maim each other out in the open.
Sinners often discarded their morality, because if you were in Hell -you'd already hit rock-bottom. She wants to remind sinners of their humanity and give them a bit of Earth in Hell.
But she wouldn't even know where to begin, what to bring to Hell, how to avoid being burned at the stake- (did humans still do that??)
Luckily her dad and hotelier separately overheard her frustrations and discovered IMP.
Lucifer comes up with a quick ew sinner disguise and heads on down to hire them to bring back Earth stuff. Everything goes well, but the trouble arrives when he goes to pick up the stuff IMP had brought back.
Alastor had stopped by and requested the same thing, so Blitzo decided to kill 2 sinners with 1 trip and have them come pick up their shit at the same time.
--
Lucifer strolls into IMP's office with his very bad sinner disguise in place like he hadn't spent the last 3 days in his workshop with no sleep. And then stops in his tracks once he actually sees him. Fucking Alastor.
"What are you doing here?"
"Why it seems we both had the very same idea for our darling daughter!"
"First off, MY daughter! Second of all-"
IMP watches this thinking they're a divorced couple with a daughter who really hate each other.
They eventually leave get kicked out with their merchandise and present their spoils to Charlie.
She loves it. And maybe could they pretty please find this one other thing a resident missed on Earth-Oh! Actually, Baxter wanted to test Earth materials against Hells could they maybe-?
They each leave for IMP with 2 very long lists.
Lilith x Alastor x Lucifer
Most humans buy a Ferrari or go on a vacation when they enter a mid-life crisis.
Lilith is no longer human and very immortal but she doesn't know how else to label her impulsive decision to befriend the recently deceased feral deer tearing though Pride like tissue paper.
----
Lilith was tired.
Eternity takes a toll. And after countless years singing like a caged bird and keeping spirits high, she had begun to loose her passion. There was only so long she could look past the hopelessness of her surroundings.
And then the Radio Demon arrived.
He wasn't particularly special all things considered. If she wasn't in such a dire mood, if Lucifer wouldn't stop closing himself off from her, if Charlie wasn't going through puberty and making it everyone's problem-
Well, she probably wouldn't have even noticed him.
--
Lilith becomes not quite friends with Alastor and his passion and love for hell reignites her own. Over the decades she finds that she cares for this idiotic sinner more than she ever would have expected.
Her love for Lucifer had been quick and all-consuming. Her love for her daughter had been just as instantaneous. She didn't know how to deal with love that crept up on her like a weed and took decades to bloom.
...Maybe she should take that vacation after all.
--
Prequel to Canon with Lilith and Canon to Season 1 for Lucifer.
Somehow these two jaded biblical lovers come to love this crazy sinner at very different points in time. And he somehow manages to help them become closer to each other and re-learn to love the humanity that had initially doomed them. Here's to hoping the consequences of bringing him into the relationship isn't as damning as theirs was.
*He/she/they pronouns for Eve
Eve was bored. Heaven's wonders could only entertain her for so long. And she was sick of the pity and condescension.
For all that Lucifer was damned to the hell he created for his actions, he at least had Lilith with him to bare the burden.
She was not so lucky. Adam would sooner die a second death than take accountability. And the angels regarded her alone with mixed pity and suspicion.
Adam thrived in heaven, but it stifled her like nothing else. Eternal peace was stagnant; she missed Earth and eagerly watched the planet and her descendents antics with curiosity.
It was her who first put forth the idea of reincarnation. But Sera, bewildered by her desire to leave heaven and wary of having her alive after her first fuckup (honestly, eat one fruit and they never let you forget it!), dismissed her.
It was just her luck that Adam, who ran his mouth faster than his brain could keep up, bragged about getting the Seraphim to agree to his yearly hell extermination where her request had been rejected.
And wasn't it just grand that it was supposed to be a secret? Wouldn't it be a shame for that to get out, right, Sera?
Her reincarnation request was approved. She was the first and only soul to be granted this. Per her request, heaven would be barred from viewing or interfering with her new life.
And it was wonderful! They had a new life, a new name, a new gender! And no one to hold them back and say 'remember the apple, Eve?'
Then they died. And back to heaven they went, unknowing of their past life as Eve. Until Sera accousted them before they'd even made it through the gate.
Sera conjured a glowing white apple and offered it to them. Their curiosity had followed them to this next life so they accepted and the Seraphim smiled sardonically and said, 'Welcome back Eve.'
But they. weren't. EVE! Not anymore. Or at least they were not JUST eve.
But being the only soul to reincarnate, the angels just didn't understand that. Nor would Sera care to, she allowed Adam and Eve's requests only if she could ignore the consequences.
The human who once was Eve, decided to reincarnate again. Anything to escape their dreary eternity in heaven.
And then he died. And Sera offered him the apple, said, 'Welcome back Eve' and on and on the cycle continued.
He tried to lead his next few lifetimes into sin, maybe in hell they'd get at least some of the excitement she'd loved from Earth.
She had no clue how she kept getting into heaven. Over the course of several different lives, they'd committed all sorts of sins. And yet it never stuck.
So they struck a deal, and in his next life, she finally got what she'd been craving.
Eternal Entertainment.
Welcome to hell, Alastor.