Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Art: Pablo M. Collar
Art: Ethan Young
I looked up about the date is “March 19, 2025”, that’s what it says.
But I’m so excited. 🤩
Art: Pablo M. Collar
Bro this whole discourse over who would be a republican/ a trumpie in the dc verse is so stupid imo bc we have so much canon info
Batfamily: none of them have been even vaguely conservative since the 90s, infact they’re all pretty far left with Bruce being the most center because he trusts one (1) cop. (Oooh but dick was a cop, yes as an infiltration tactic until he realized they were too corrupt -he was also like 19-20 during this time- to fix and canonically doesn’t work with them at all as a rule)
Bruce rebuilds his city pro bono like twice a year and single handedly funds like 80% of their social welfare, it’s also canon he refers goons to the nearest Wayne enterprise and gets them hired if Batman knows they’re just their bc they’re struggling
Arrows: NEVER INSULT OLIVER QUEEN IN MY FACE EVER AGAIN. This man is 50% a communist 50% Bernie sanders biggest fan depending on the media.
This man would never be a republican ignoring the arrowverse like it’s actually canon that Ollie won’t shut up about politics
Superfam: … the illegal alien who has to hide the fact he’s different from everyone else in a small town…. Hmmm maybe Kon is conservative if you’re blind, deaf and a little slow, Jon has a pink haired boyfriend and is besties with a middle eastern/south Asian kid actually so let’s not?
Clark Canonically hates the KKK you think he’d be part of the party whose candidate was endorsed by them??
Flashes: Barry Allen is a conservative, Wally west was when he was younger but he’s been pretty liberal since he became as adult, Wallace has never been conservative (TV Barry you will always be the most likeable Barry)
Lanterns: Hal Jordan is a Conservative, the rest are in fact not
Wonder Woman collective: Diana??? Donna??? Artemis?? Cassie??? None of the above don’t be dumb
Anyway it’s pretty hard to have a heroic character who doesn’t believe in social welfare? Since they’re running around saving people for free and 99% of them are anti killing. + having characters be sexist, racist and/or homophobic makes them less likable objectively and also narrows down the amount of stories you can tell.
Do you think Superman sometimes eats stuff he shouldn't to freak people out
Like, he'll be in a Justice League meeting, and he'll just start casually eating a chair
On a stakeout one summer night, the Justice League gets caught up in the middle of a swarm of super powered mosquitoes. Chewed up, they go back to the Watchtower to regroup.
Hal: Fuck. Who has the calamine lotion?
Diana, flustered: What were those?
Clark, never having experienced a mosquito bite before, on the verge of tears: :(
Bruce:
Hal: Hey Spooky, how come you’re not itching like the rest of us? They even managed to break through Clark’s skin.
Bruce: Bats can eat up to 1,200 mosquitoes in an hour.
Everyone: ????
Bruce: *swoops out the door*
—
Dick: Hey Dad how was the League mission??
Bruce: Better than expected.
Tim: Any idea why Green Lantern has left fifteen hysterical voicemails asking if you’re actually a bat cryptid?
Bruce: No idea whatsoever. Would you please refill my Bat Mosquito Repellant?
Badabababa I'm loving it!
Lois Lane is hunting Danny to get an interview with the King of the afterlife, or whatever it is Phantom does. (Mama wants another Pulitzer for the pile!)
Danny is trying like hell to avoid her, since he's not supposed to just tell people how the afterlife works. (Also, Lois scares him.)
"Hide me!" Phantom shrieked before ducking underneath Batman's cape.
They were barely given a moment to even be surprised before the doors slammed open.
Lois Lane stood proudly in front of the doors, somehow finding a way onto the Justice League watchtowers. She scanned the room with her eyes narrowed like a predator trying to find prey as she grit her teeth and snarled, "Where is he?"
Superman coughed. "Lois! What are you doing here? Actually— how'd you even get here?"
Lois waved him off. "Don't worry about it. Where. Is. He?"
Batman was furiously typing away on his phone, possibly trying to find out how a civilian (admittedly married to a fellow superhero) was able to get into the watchtower, while everyone else shared looks.
"Uhm. Who?" Green Lantern asked awkwardly, exchanging a glance with the Flash.
"He! Phantom! He owes me an interview! Actually, he owed me one 45 minutes ago! I had to chase him from New York to Mexico to Peru and then to here! Where is he?!"
Wonder Woman said rather blandly, "He's not here."
Lois narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure?"
Wonder Woman nodded sagely. "Yes. He darted out of sight using his powers. Perhaps he hoped that you'd waste your time here while he ran off further."
"Dang it! Alright, excuse me, please, I need to search for a certain ghost!" Lois snapped before she strode off like a storm, just as quick as she appeared.
There was silence for a long time.
Then Phantom poked his head out of Batman's cape.
"Thanks for the assist, guys. Also, Batman, did you know that your cape is actually partly a portal?"
"I'm sorry, what—?!"
Somebody just made me realise Green Lantern is literally a magical girl.
First his power comes from a ring, a classic magical girl thing to have an accessory that transforms you.
He has a main colour theme as any other magical girl has.
He has a costume that subtly GLOWS
AND HE HAS AN OATH!!! What’s more magical girl than an oath/catchphrase!?
Have some de-aged Batman.
You can’t convince me that Batman wasn’t a angsty teen full of spite and anger.
———
Superman: “so, in the future you become a vigilante named Batman!”
Bruce, sitting cross legged in the corner of the room refusing to go near any of the JL: “I fucking hate bats, I swear those little flying rat-like shits want to kill me”
Flash, a look of pure shock on his face: “Batman was scared of bats?!?!?”
Green Lantern, wheezing with surprised laughter: “BATMAN WAS SCARED OF BATS!!!”
———
Bruce, staring at Green Arrow: “Ollie”
Green Arrow: “Bruce”
Bruce, looking Green arrow up and down with a judgmental look on his face: “you’ve aged-”
Green Arrow trying to finish his sentence: “well?”
Bruce, completely deadpan: “no”
Green Arrow: “…”
Bruce: “…”
Green Arrow turning around and speed walking away: “Okay! Bye!”
———
Bruce, pulling out a cigarette from nowhere and then lighting it with some random lighter.
Superman, nervously walking up to Bruce because he doesn’t know how to act around him: “hey Bruce? You shouldn’t be smoking in the watchtower… or like, anywhere”
Bruce just staring at him now: “…”
Superman, practically sweating now: “y’know, cause you’re… well… 16?”
Bruce, with a look of complete seriousness: “I’ll stop smoking when I inevitably smash a hole through one of the windows and let myself —and hopefully everyone else— get sucked into space to freeze and die”
Superman, backing away while trying to figure out if he was joking or not: “okay I’m just going to go now…”
———
Bruce: “so you can make anything with that ring?”
Green Lantern: “yep! Anything”
Bruce: “can you make a crowbar?”
Green Lantern, thinking he’s bonding with Bruce and conjures up a crowbar: “yeah”
Bruce, grabs the crowbar without warning and throws it at Green Arrow’s meeting chair, effectively making a huge dent in it.
Bruce: “cool” *walks away*
Green Lantern: *horrified and confused*
Captain Marvel in the Watchtower rec room.
Green Lantern (Hal) & Flash: *giggling at something on GL’s phone*
Audio coming from the phone: *bang*“Ow!”—*clang* “Ouch!”—*thump* “ack!”—*thud*“Ow …I think that left a dent…”
Captain Marvel, clearly annoyed: “you’re really watching that again?”
Green Lantern: “sorry dude! It’s just so funny!”
Captain Marvel: *turns around to walk out the room but bangs his head on the top of the door frame*
Flash: *falls out of his chair laughing*
Okay but some in the JL has definitely gone through the Watchtower security cam footage and made a compilation video of Captain Marvel banging his head on the top of a doorway.
And I’m pretty sure we all know that he must do that a lot.
Random Captain Marvel things I think confuses the JL (yes, obviously this is inspired by Wonderjanga)
———
Everyone at the Justice League debrief meeting after a mission
Captain Marvel, randomly standing up and looking a little sick: “uh, please excuse me”
Batman: “Captain, you cannot just-“
Captain Marvel: *turns away and projectile vomits a bunch of letters onto the wall*
Batman: “…”
Batman: “you are excused.”
Captain Marvel, picking up the letters and sifting through them like it’s normal mail: “aw man! Another bill!”
Wonder Woman, shaking her head with a disapproving sigh: “man’s world and their idiotic delivery methods”
Superman: “oh Diana, that’s not- actually, nevermind”
———
Captain Marvel: *sitting in the JL watchtower cafeteria blowing out a candle on a small birthday cake.*
Green lantern, walking in to see him: “oh Cap! It’s your birthday???”
Captain Marvel with childlike glee on his face: “Yeah! I’m turning 11!”
Green Lantern: “wait wha-“
Captain Marvel: “and 3! And 41,024,618! And 350,597,120,140!”
Green Lantern: “excuse me what-“
Captain Marvel, checking an hourglass duck taped to his wrist: “oops! I gotta go or I’ll be late for Dinosaur sledding with Tawky Tawny!”
Captain Marvel: *zips out the room with the cake, leaving a very confused Green Lantern behind.*
Green Lantern: “Dinosaur sledding???”
———
Superman: *walks into the watchtower break room to see Captain Marvel and a younger blue version of him playing catch with a jar that holds a screaming worm inside.*
Superman: “Captain, who is this??? Why is there a worm in the jar and why on earth are you throwing it?”
Mr. Mind: “RELEASE M-“
Captain Marvel after chucking the jar straight at blue Captain Marvel’s head: “oh hi Supes! This is my older brother!”
Blue Captain Marvel after almost dropping the worm who is now screaming profanities: “holy crap! You’re Superm-!”
Before blue Captain Marvel can finish, a portal opens behind him and he gets sucked in screaming.
Superman, now with his fists up: “Captain Marvel! Get back!”
A younger girl version of Captain Marvel pokes her head out of the portal: “yo, Cap! Sivanna gave Tawny fleas and now Tawny seems like he’s gonna commit murder!”
Captain Marvel, flying into the portal without hesitation: “bye Supes!”
Superman, just standing there shellshocked: “I need to sit down…”