Enhypen Jungwon - Blog Posts

i cried!! alot!! out of sadness and happiness and bittersweetness. as someone who has divorced parents (not for the same reasons!!) ik what its like to have a slight hate for your half siblings even though its not their fault so i was vv emotional whenever yn and niki were brought up,, i love my siblings now thooo

you plus me | heeseung

SUMMARY: it's been six years since heeseung stopped being your friend and the thought of him tagging along an annual camping tradition makes you feel like the world is crashing around you. one misunderstanding and one trip later makes heeseung re-evaluate all he knows, and it makes you believe there might be life after love.

NOTES: first full length fic!!!!!!! enjoy :) x

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader (featuring enhypen)

WORD COUNT: 34.1K

WARNINGS: fluff, angst, mentions of poor relationships with parental figures, mentions of infidelity, bad friendships, smut in the form of: fingering, oral (f. receiving), creampie.

***

“Please don’t make me go.”

“Y/N, you already said yes. We’re only gonna be gone for a week.”

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Jungwon. You just said that Heeseung is gonna be there.” 

Your best friend sighs and sits down on your bed, inspecting the duffle bag you have that’s half-packed. Your clothes are haphazardly strewn all over your bedding while you plead with him to no avail. You’re so desperate that you consider getting on your knees to beg.

“I’m sorry for telling you now, but he was able to get people to cover his shift last minute and paid for a spot on the kayaking rental.” 

“If he’s going, I’d rather save us all the trouble and stay at home.” Jungwon watches you cross your arms over your chest. “Every time we’re in the same room, it’s just a matter of time before things become awkward.” 

“We’ll be outside in the suuuun,” Jungwon says, tilting his head to the side and giving you those amused eyes that he always gives you when he’s trying to convince you to do something with him. You scoff and look away. It almost works. 

“I bet that it’ll be worse since we have a few things planned with the guys already.”

“So what? You two don’t get along. Big deal. We’ve already made reservations to secure a spot on the campsite and set a deposit for kayak rentals.”

“Won, I think you and I view Heeseung very differently. He doesn’t just not like me. He hates me.” 

“Hate is a wrong word.” 

You huff. “I don’t think you grasp just how weird it is every time we’re together. You could cut the tension with a knife.”

“Seriously, Y/N. It’s one week. I’m sure you can survive that. You’ve never missed a camping trip and it’s the first time all of our friends are coming.” Jungwon deadpans and throws a shirt towards your chest, which you hastily grab after being startled by his sudden movement. You know better than to argue with him when he gets like this. “Just help me pack your clothes, dude. Jay’s gonna be here to pick us up tomorrow morning, and you don’t want to be under-packed.” 

You relent and grumble. “Are you still staying over?”

He nods. “My apartment’s in the opposite of where we’re going, and I didn’t want to make him drive an extra twenty minutes since he needs to pick Riki up. Just need to drop Maeumi off at my mom’s before coming back here. ” Your eyes fall for a flat second before you squash that feeling down.

“I didn’t invite you over, you know.” 

“No, but don’t pretend like you’re not excited,” Jungwon says with a laugh as he pulls your clothes out of the bag and starts to readjust the clothing you’ve folded poorly. Seeing your best friend smile tugs a bit at your heartstrings and you can’t say that you aren’t happy to have him with you. “We should get you packed now so you don’t stress out later.” 

Begrudgingly, you allow Jungwon to sort out your clothes for you and pull last minute items you’ve yet to pack. It annoys you watching him be so calm when you’re simmering with worry. But you know he’s right—you’ve invested some money into this getaway, and it’ll be the last big outing before you move away from Korea for a year-long job opportunity in Okayama before pursuing your Master’s degree. Jungwon knows you a little too well, and sometimes it irks you. 

The end-of-summer camping trip is always one for the books. For as long as you can remember, the two of you have been going camping just before everyone goes back to school to celebrate the beginning of a new academic year with your families. But this time, the trip wasn’t just about continuing an annual tradition. It was also to commemorate a new chapter in your life. 

You’re a year older than Jungwon. He’s known you since you were obsessed with learning how to double dutch, and you’ve known him since he first learnt how to ride a bike. The two of you started out as neighbors when you moved into the house next to his, and his family had adopted your own like old friends, eventually inviting you and your parents into their annual camping tradition. Even when dynamics changed and people left, the tradition was the only thing that remained a constant for you.

This is the first summer that your loved ones announced they wouldn’t be coming along. They all thought it was time for you to embark on new traditions with new people, and nobody seemed to mind the change that much except for you. Jungwon had been ecstatic about it since he invited his friend, Jake, to the camping trip last year. You’d been wary at first since Jake is friends with Heeseung, but he never brought up your confusing arch-nemesis and chose to have a great trip before you all started university again.  

Sure, you had a lot of fun. You might even consider last year’s trip as one for the books. But your mom pulling out of the camping trip and everyone around you agreeing that it was for the best made you feel like your world was crumbling around you.

When you graduated university three months ago (Jungwon swears he didn’t cry, but you know better than to believe him), the weight of leaving your home started to sink in. In the blink of an eye, Jungwon wouldn’t be a twenty minute drive, and hanging out with all of your friends wouldn’t be as easy as it once was. You’d be in Japan all alone.

This past summer has been a whirlwind as you tried to do everything under the sun, savoring each moment until you wouldn’t be able to anymore. Jungwon’s been a good sport about it, never once complaining when you drag him to your latest adventure. He deals with your sudden shift in mood from happy to sad, letting you cry on his shoulder and braving the cliche words you say when telling him you’ll miss him a lot. 

Unlike past seasons, this is the first summer you haven’t seen Heeseung very often. Lee Heeseung, who usually keeps his head down and minds his business, always seems to have a bone to pick whenever his eyes settle on you. It confuses you to no end, and he keeps his quips to a minimum when your mutual friends are around, but it doesn’t stop you from wondering what you must’ve done to make him act like that towards you. It’s a shame because that small childhood crush you always had on him was squashed the first time he ignored your presence. 

None of your friends comment on it much. They’re used to the dynamic between the both of you because it's been years of this. Elementary school saw the two of you become friends for the first time and middle school brought more friends into the group. It was in high school that things changed and Heeseung started ignoring you out of nowhere until one Thursday afternoon when he’d told you to leave him alone after pestering him about his change in behavior. 

The odd tension followed you into university and continued to seep into your life. You don’t think you’ve ever been in a room with Heeseung where he’s been anything but nonchalant towards you, often acting like you aren’t there to begin with. You do your best to put up with it and plaster a smile on your face, but six years have gone by, and you don’t think you can handle a seventh. All of your friends seemed to have moved past it. You don’t know why you can’t.

“Don’t think about Heeseung,” Jungwon says with a sigh. “In fact, don’t think at all. Let me handle everything and enjoy this trip before you move to Okayama, okay?”

“Okay, fine. But I want to see Maeumi.”

Jungwon snorts. “She’s gonna be real pissed when she doesn’t see you for a year, you know.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Jungwon knows you like the back of your hand and has seen what you bring on these trips enough to know what you like to have in your duffle. He packs things you neglected to pull out because your mind has been elsewhere. As much as he wants to flick your head and tell you to quit overthinking so you can help him, he did tell you to let him handle everything. 

Your best friend makes you triple check that the two of you didn’t miss anything before heading back to his apartment to fetch Maeumi. She jumps into your arms when you squat to pick her up and won’t allow Jungwon to pet her white fur body while she’s nestled against you. This fondness and the familiar jab of Jungwon’s elbow to your ribcage make your heart ache despite the sweet moment. You’re really going to miss home. 

Ever the concerned mothers your mom and Jungwon’s are, they send you with a tray full of sweets for the road. They make you tell them exactly when you’ll be picked up and by who (“Jongseong, Eomma,” Jungwon says for the umpteenth time) and when you plan to come back. His dad gives you a spare bucket hat for when you’re on the water and an old sweater from his college days when Jungwon complains about how you never pack enough layers. The gesture feels warm since you consider his father to be somewhat of your own.

Leaving them to go back to your house feels a bit bittersweet. A lot of your belongings sit in storage boxes in the garage from when you moved out of your campus apartment upon graduating. Jungwon decided to get an apartment for himself with the money he saved from his part-time job as a busboy at a local chain restaurant. Staying over with you makes it seem silly when you remember he used to live next door. 

It’s nine in the evening when the two of you get ready for bed. Jungwon puts your bags by the front door so neither of you would forget while you finish brushing your teeth. He grabs extra blankets from the linen closet and settles onto your L-shaped couch, pulling the fabric just underneath his chin. Your heart feels like it’s sinking in on itself when you think about how this might be the last time you’re able to be so casual around him. 

“Stop overthinking,” he says in the quiet of the night, as if he can hear the thoughts in your head. The living room lights are off and the moonlight is what’s responsible for illuminating the space. 

You refrain from throwing your pillow at him. “I’m not overthinking. You’re overthinking.” 

Jungwon snorts. “We both know that’s not true. I know you’re scared about Okayama and I know that’s why you’ve been on edge about Heeseung. You’re usually never this loud about it.” Like always, your best friend is right. 

“It’s hard not to.” Your meek voice makes Jungwon’s heart lurch. “Everything’s changed so fast. I feel like I didn’t get enough time to properly say goodbye to everyone.”

“You’ll be in Japan, not America. It’s not like we’ll never see you.” 

“Yeah, but I won’t be able to annoy you for boba and you won’t be coming over to have dinner with my mom and me." Jungwon frowns. Too caught up in making sure you were happy this summer, he hadn’t given it that much thought. “I know I won’t be far, but I’m scared that things will change too much.” 

For the first time today, Jungwon doesn’t know what to say to make you feel better. “I’ll miss you a lot.” 

“I know that, dummy. I guess…I feel like I’ve been dealing with a lifetime of shittiness and the universe wanted to throw another curveball at me.” Jungwon’s heart softens at your confession. He’s used to your quick jabs and sarcastic humor. Knowing you’ve more afraid than excited makes him upset. 

“The universe sucks,” he says, happy that it pulled a laugh out of you. “I’ll always be a phone call away and you’ll never have to worry about me ignoring you because we both know I’m gonna blow up your texts anyway.” 

“I can always count on you to annoy the hell out of me.” You can’t see his face, but no you already assume Jungwon’s sporting a shit-eating grin. Even if you both know the main reason why you’re afraid of living in Okayama, neither of you say it. You’re grateful that Jungwon doesn’t bring it up. “Still, though. You know how I am with change. I’m really scared that I’m going to hate it there and not have you to keep me company.”

“Life is crazy and unpredictable but that doesn’t mean you’re going to be miserable. I mean, you did a pretty good job of making sure both of us had happy childhoods even though I know you were hurting when we were younger.” 

“It’s really hard not to have expectations or think badly about the future when I feel like I took everything for granted.” 

“I know, Bug,” Jungwon says, using a nickname from your childhood he reserves for when he thinks you need an extra bit of comfort. “But you’re the best person I know. You didn’t do anything wrong. Life just…gets in the way.” 

“Yeah, I know.”

Jungwon is quiet for a moment. “Just please promise me you’ll try to have fun, okay?”

“I know I’ll have fun, Wonnie. I’m scared that I’ll have too much fun and be a sobbing wreck when we get back.” 

The two of you share a laugh. “Alright, fair. Promise me you won’t let Heeseung get under your skin.”

You groan. “If he doesn’t like me, that’s fine. I don’t need everyone to like me. But why go out of his way to act like I’m scum of the Earth?”

“Just ignore him, okay?” Jungwon pleads. “I know it’s uncomfortable but he paid for a last minute spot. I’ll tell him to be mature about it too.” 

And, well, part of you believes Heeseung will listen to Jungwon. Despite being on the younger side in your shared friend group, everyone seemed to listen to your best friend most of the time. Jungwon has an authoritative aspect to himself when he’s refrained from being the silly, happy-go-lucky guy you all know him to be. 

It’s quiet for a brief moment with the wind gently tapping on the windows behind you. “I don’t know why he doesn’t like me.” 

Truthfully, neither does Jungwon. “I’m sorry he’s putting you in a tough spot.” 

“Won, sometimes I really wonder if he hates my guts. He doesn’t talk to me and he never replies to my messages in the group chat. It’s like I don’t exist to him.”

“I think that might be a little extreme.” 

“It’s not and you know it.” 

Jungwon hums. “Well, at least you’ll get away from him when you move to Okayama.” Just like that, all of your worries come flooding right back.

“Yeah,” you say meekly. “I’ll have Okayama.”

You don’t see him, but you know Jungwon’s smiling since you agreed with him for the first time tonight. “That’s more like it. You have your whole future ahead of yourself, dude. Heeseung is just a blimp. In three weeks, he won’t matter because you’ll be having fun in Japan. Just think about that.” 

You try not to think about the fears and hesitations you have about starting anew. This time, you wouldn’t be going back to university after the camping trip. You’ll have a week and a half back home before you’re boarding your flight and saying goodbye to the place you’ve called home for the past two decades. Thinking about the future keeps you up until you hear Jungwon’s snores from the other side of the couch. 

Unsure of when your mom will be coming home, you snuggle further into the cushions and curl yourself into a ball before falling asleep. 

***

The next morning, Jungwon wakes up just before you do and you see him and your mom talking before they see you sit up. Barely noticing their hushed tones, you find yourself yawning more than normal and force the blankets off of your body. Your mom fixes you a cup of tea while Jungwon finishes packing, leaving you to freshen up and do the same. 

“You know, this trip will be good for you. I can feel it,” your mom says when you sip on your tea. It’s hot and nearly burns your tongue, but you don’t mind. Somehow, that sharp pain makes you feel even more alert than the strong brew. 

“You say that every year.” 

“Yeah, but this time I won’t be with you.” 

She laughs when she hears you huff. “Baby, I know you love it when I come on these trips but we’ll always have other ones. We’ll have next year too.” 

“I just don’t get why you and Jungwon’s parents don’t want to come on this one.” 

“Like we said all those months ago–it’s time for you guys to break tradition and spend some time with your friends before you move to Okayama. Next year, we can rent out the whole campsite if it means we can accommodate us, the Yangs, and your friends.” 

Frustration bubbles within you but you’re quick to shut that feeling. “I guess. It won’t be the same.”

“Jake’s going this year, right? You guys had a lot of fun last summer.” 

Well, she isn’t wrong. “Sure, yeah. I had fun with him.” Motherly instincts kick in and she bumps your hip with hers. 

“I know you’re scared about moving and seeing Heeseung. But you’re much braver than you give yourself credit for. Sometimes people are meant to be lessons and maybe Heeseung is the biggest one of all.”

You throw a fake-disgusted look at her. “Did Jungwon put you up to this?” She laughs and shakes her head, bringing you into her arms. Her lips on the crown of your head feel warm and you don’t shy away from her embrace. 

“No, but I carried you in my stomach and brought you to term. I like to think I know you pretty well.” 

You chuckle. “Yeah, I guess you do. I’ll try not to let Heeseung bother me too much.” 

“Jungwon’s pretty worried, even if he won’t say it. I told him to relax a little. This trip isn’t supposed to stress anyone out. It’s supposed to be a nice getaway before you go back to your normal life.” 

“I feel guilty for making Jungwon worry about me. I know he’s still friends with Heeseung, somewhat, even though nobody can figure out why he doesn’t like me so much.” 

“That old saying about boys being mean to their crushes is bullshit.” 

You pull away and gasp when you hear her swear. “Eomma!”  

“I used to swear like a sailor before I became a mom, you know.” Her eyes light up when she watches you giggle and from the corner of her eye, she can see Jungwon walking back into the living room. 

“Jay’s almost here,” he says, shoving his phone into his back pocket. 

“Does he want a cup of tea?” 

Jungwon shakes his head. “I think it’s better if we head out as soon as possible. We still have to pick up Riki and then we have a four hour drive to the campsite.” 

She looks at the two of you like she has stars in her eyes. Wordlessly, your mom pulls Jungwon underneath her other arm and kisses his forehead before kissing yours. “When did you two become so grown up, huh? It feels like just yesterday that Y/N stopped crying whenever she got papercuts.” 

Jungwon snickers. “She still does.”

“Hey!”

“And it feels like just yesterday that Jungwon stopped needing to sleep with a nightlight.” Jungwon’s cheeks turn pink and you snicker at him. 

“Time flew by fast,” says Jungwon. She lets the two of you go and the doorbell rings. “That must be Jay.” 

Indeed, Jay is standing behind the door and bows at your mom before she offers to help you both carry things to his car. They make small talk while the two of you put them into the trunk (he loves to cook while she loves to bake. Likewise, they enjoy talking about this with each other). Jay’s Jeep is far too expensive for you to wrap your head around, but you don’t complain when he offers to drive you in it. A yellow rubber duck sits on his dashboard and it never fails to bring a smile to your face whenever you see it. You wave goodbye to your mom and stick your body halfway out the window until you’re restricted by the seat belt.

“Can we get coffee on the way?” you ask, yawning into your palm. It’s eight o’clock and everyone’s agreed to arrive around noon for lunch and to relax before sleeping. 

“Yeah, good idea. Let’s pick up Riki and then stop somewhere.” 

Jay plugs his phone into the aux cord at a red light and turns on some music. You like driving with him because you always discover new songs you obsess over for the next few days. It brings a pang in your heart when you think about how this will have to stop when you move to Japan. The two of you have created many playlist blends and he’s curated a few for you. While you’re not as musically inclined like your friends may be, Jay is the only person who’s willing to break things down for you in depth so that you can understand them too. It’s nice, especially when he talks about his own musical talents. You can see why he loves music so much and you don’t mind if he sends you a million songs to listen to. He turns onto the freeway and you know you’re about to see Riki soon.

He’s about to be a first-year in the university you graduated from. He moved to Korea from Japan a few weeks prior to get a lay of the land and become more comfortable in his surroundings. Originally planning on enjoying your summer until he reached out to you, your mother chided your decision and told you to help Riki move into his new dormitory. 

It was the least you could do for your half-brother. 

Begrudgingly, you spent a lot of time making sure Riki felt comfortable and settled in when you could’ve been soaking up the sun. Maybe that’s why you were so adamant about hanging out with Jungwon whenever you could. Being around Riki made you feel drained because his mere presence was enough to remind you of why you started losing faith in people. 

The dorms aren’t too far from your house. The drive there is silent, save for the music coming from Jay’s stereo. It gives you plenty of time to think about what the next week or so might look like. Avoiding Heeseung is out of the question since there will be eight of you participating in the same activities together. You’re not worried about having to watch over Riki too much either. Before moving to Korea, he met Jungwon the first summer he spent a few weeks vacationing here and they instantly became friends. He introduced Riki to the people you’d be camping with too. Without fail, the seven of them were always up to no good when he was in town. 

Spending three weeks with him in your neighborhood felt like someone was trying to set your life ablaze. He was so young back then, barely speaking Korean until you had to translate conversations into Japanese for him. You tried to mask disdain for having to help him, but even then, Riki understood why you were hesitant to have him in your life. If he were in your position, he’d probably feel the same way about you. 

He didn’t come to Korea very often but started to when he had school recess for the holidays and summer breaks. Since he expressed an interest in attending university in Korea, it felt like the right decision to send Riki whenever school wasn’t in session. He’d stay with his paternal grandparents and saw you every so often when you were both invited to the same place. Neither of you made a real effort to keep up with each other on social media or over the phone. At this time, Riki followed you on Instagram and you hadn’t bothered to follow him back. In all honesty, you didn’t see the point. 

You held a lot of resentment over Riki for things you know you can’t blame him for. But with new life changes that came your way, Riki seemed like the perfect scapegoat. He feels it sometimes, the way you pull him in just to push him away when the moment gets too familiar. He shoves down his feelings, choosing to treasure when you laugh with him. 

The two of you are doing somewhat better nowadays. You followed him back on Instagram the night after you dropped him off at the airport at the behest of your grandparents. They insisted Riki arrive at the airport four hours early despite the flight’s duration equating to two and a half hours. You suspected they wanted to force you into spending a little bit of alone time with your half-brother and get to know each other. 

To your surprise, the two of you got along pretty well. Riki was a dweeb trying to mask himself as cool. You bought him ice cream (pretending like you didn’t see him smiling so hard that he forced it off of his face) and sat in your car for two hours to talk. He found out you were a genius when it came to mathematics, a subject he did not excel in, and you found out he’s in a hip hop dance crew and wants to study dancing in Korea. Riki showed you a few clips of him dancing and from the corner of your eye, you could see how happy he was to be sharing this moment with you. It made your heart twinge and guilt crept up your spine when you think of all the times you’ve blown him off. You said goodbye to him at the gate and he surprised you with the first hug he’s ever given you. 

Still, it’s a bit awkward when the two of you spend any time together without your friends acting as buffers. It irks you that Riki and Heeseung get along so well because they share similar interests and are often awake at the same time, especially during the midnight hour. Part of you wondered if Heeseung would tell you all about your “rivalry” and how the two of you didn’t get along. If he did, Riki never let you know it because he’s been the same Riki you’ve known since you first met him three years ago. 

You can tell Heeseung is a bit irritated, too, that your half-brother still chooses to be nice to you. In fact, you realize he’s annoyed at everyone about this, especially Jungwon. You don’t call him out on it because you know it’ll spark a useless argument that makes you and everyone else feel upset. How Heeseung has the energy and stamina to avoid you for hours on end is strange to you. 

You and Jungwon meet Riki at the front door while Jay gets out of the car to make room for his belongings and the lawn chairs his grandparents dropped off for this specific trip. There’s exactly eight of them and they somehow all fit into the rear with all of the other cooking gear he’s packed. You assume the other car has everything needed for pitching tents and fishing.

“Hi,” Riki says before you can acknowledge him. He steps forward like he’s about to throw his arms around you but stops himself. “Good morning.” 

“Morning, Riki,” you say while grabbing the duffle bag from his shoulder. “Let me put this in the car. You and Wonnie can load the chairs.” 

“Aye, aye, captain.” 

It’s Riki’s first time on the camping trip and you find yourself a bit more nervous with him coming. He’s not someone who’s been camping before and you wonder if any of the other guys are going to look out for him. Jungwon, for as responsible as he is, tends to turn into a younger version of himself when he’s with your half-brother. You furrow your eyebrows when you put his duffle bag in Jay’s trunk as he rearranges and waits for the two boys to load everything in before settling back into the car. 

Riki and Jungwon immediately hop in the backseat and you’re quite pleased that you don’t have to call shotgun. They talk about things you don’t understand while Jay starts the car and resumes manning the aux cord. That strange feeling of nervousness creeps back into your stomach. You turn around and startle Riki when you look at him. 

“Do you have everything you need?” you ask him. 

“Yes,” Riki says with a nod. “I have my water bottle, my Swiss army knife, and sunblock.” 

“Bug spray?” 

“Jungwon says he’s bringing a few bottles.”

“Swimming trunks?”

“C’Mon, Y/N. We’re gonna be camping by a lake. That’s the first thing I packed.”

“Toothbrush?”

“Second thing I packed.”

“Enough shirts and socks?”

“Okay,” Jay says, pulling your wrist to get you to look at the road. “Riki’s got everything he needs and if he doesn’t, I’m sure someone else would let him use or borrow it.”

“I’m just making sure he’s got everything so we don’t need to stop somewhere,” you mutter, slinking into your seat while Jay sighs. You don’t catch it, but Riki sits behind you with a happy smile on his face. 

“Relax. We’re trying to make the most before summer ends. You deserve that too.” You know Jay’s right. He smiles when you fix your posture and hands you his phone. “You know my passcode. Queue up whatever you want.” 

You do just that, especially since Jungwon and Riki are engrossed in a conversation about God knows what. You think of interrupting them to ask what they want to listen to but ultimately decide to play a few songs you and Jay could jam out to and some from Jungwon’s playlists. You also try to remember the songs Riki has danced to in his Instagram videos and the musicians he posts on his stories and add them to the queue too. 

“Thanks for letting us come on this trip,” Jay tells you with chatter in the background, not once taking his eyes off of the road. “I know it’s a thing you and Jungwon do with your families.” 

“Eh, it was bound to happen anyway. Jake was the only one here last summer and I knew it was a matter of time.” 

“Still, I know how you’ve been feeling lately and it must be overwhelming to have so many people around you right now.” Damn. Jay is almost as receptive as Jungwon is. 

You don’t bother lying to him. “Yeah, I think I’m just scared about starting my life in Okayama. I know a few people but it’s not like here. I thought it was what I wanted to do when I accepted the position but now I can’t help but feel like I made a mistake.” 

“It’s not a mistake if you believed in it enough to do it all those months ago. I mean, there’s a reason why you’re moving.” 

“I guess.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, dude. You’re like, a fucking wizard when it comes to numbers and even Jake is speechless. You know how he feels about math and physics.” 

That makes you laugh. “It feels kinda nerdy to love math so much but fuck it. It got me a paid year’s worth of employment before I earn my Master’s.”

“See? Not so bad, isn’t it?” You suppose it’s not. “Junwon, can you please tell the others that we’re about to stop for coffee then be on our way?” You see the notifications on your phone. 

wonton: we just picked up riki

jaeyunnie: who’s we

wonton: me jay and yn

jaeyunnie: AYOOOOOOO YN

you: JAEYUNIE :DD

jaeyunnie: idk why i thought jay was driving alone. whatever this is about to be the best camping trip of my Life. even better than last year

sun sun: is it just me or is jake always really fucking dramatic. also i’m lowkey offended i wasn’t invited last year …

jaeyunnie: shut Up u know nothing about me sunoo. and u were in bejing how tf could you have gone with us

sun sun: so much attitude 🙄

fanghoon: yn save me PLEASE. i’m in a car filled with animals

sun sun: HEY

jaeyunnie: who are you calling an animal big guy ?

you: sunghoon what makes you think i can do that 

you: jk come over here ~i will protect you~

fanghoon: Thank You. It’s Literally 8am

jaeyunnie: u guys need to become morning people

you: pass

sun sun: PASS 

sun sun: noona we are the same 🙂‍↕️

you: i know that’s right

wonton: we’re gonna stop for coffee before heading to the campsite 

jaeyunnie: oh shit we should make heeseung stop for coffee too

wonton: jay says to stop blowing up his phone in the group chat. we’ll text you when we stop for gas and when we’ve arrived. bye!!!

***

After one stop to fill up Jay’s gas tank (you paid for him as a thank you) and a snack run (Jungwon and Riki split the cost), the four of you are at the campsite in no time. You’re all somewhat grateful that it’s a little bit cloudy outside because the sun was killing you on the two-hour mark of your road trip. The weather is a little cooler and you tug on the sweater that Jungwon’s dad gave you.  

You see your other friends park just after you do. Jungwon and Riki are first to get out of the car and greet them like they haven’t seen the group in years while you and Jay take your time getting out of your seats. Since when did your joints become so stiff? You blame it on the fact that you woke up from a nap just a few minutes before you arrived. 

“This place was hard to find,” you hear Heeseung say from a distance. You try not to let it dampen your mood. 

“Where’s Y/N?” You’re sure that was Jake. 

“Waking up, probably,” says Jungwon. “She took a nap in the car and we just woke her up.” 

“The drive wasn’t even that long.” You assume your best friend gives Heeseung some kind of reaction before the latter apologizes quickly. 

Jake is by the passenger door as you open it and looks at you like a dog who wants to be taken out on a walk. He holds the handle to the door and bounces in his shoes until you push yourself out of the car. The loud slamming of the door behind you makes you wince. Jake pulls you into a hug faster than you can process. 

“I missed you dude,” Jake says. He puts his arm over your shoulder and slowly leads you to the group. “Did you have a good summer?”

“You know, despite the incredibly hot weather that made me feel like I would sweat to death, summer wasn’t so bad. How was Brisbane?”

“I missed the heat,” Jake says with a pout. “But it was pretty good to be back home for a month. I really missed my parents and my brother.” 

“I’m sure they missed you too.”

Jungwon spots you. “Your eyes are so puffy.” He takes his thumbs and tries to put more color underneath your eyes and onto your cheeks. Riki, Sunoo, and Jay have slipped away to start setting up camp.

Jake laughs beside you when you swat Jungwon’s hands away and lets his own arms fall when you lurch forward to give him a taste of his own medicine. He always liked that Jungwon was able to bring out a childish side to you because he’s always seen you carry yourself like you had to shoulder the weight of the world. Watching you chase Jungwon as he tried to escape your pinching fingers made him a bit more happier knowing you’d have friends like him to return to when you came back from Japan. 

Heeseung, however, rolls his eyes and speaks low. “She’s so childish.” 

“Dude,” Sunghoon sighs in exasperation. “We’re gonna be with her for a week. You need to quit making those comments.” 

Heeseung shrugs. “What? It’s not like she can hear what I’m saying.” 

“Yeah, but we can. We’re friends with her too, Heeseung.” 

The eldest tries to hold in his disdain. “Yeah, whatever. I’ll keep shit to myself.” 

“Just for now,” Jake encourages. “Y/N never starts anything with you but sometimes you say something that goes a little too far. No one is asking you to be her best friend.”

“Just remember it was Y/N’s mom and Jungwon’s parents who invited all of us,” Sunghoon reminds his friend. “We wouldn’t be here without them and if I recall correctly, you really wanted to come when you found out we were all planning to go.” Heeseung wants to argue and justify why he’s annoyed but can’t find a good enough reason. 

“You’re right,” he relents. “I’ll make nice but do not expect me to do shit for her.”

“We aren’t.” Sunghoon pats Heeseung’s back. “You’ve got this. It’s supposed to be a fun trip before we all go back to reality. All we want is one week where you two don’t create tension.” 

“I can do that.” Jake and Sunghoon share a look between the two of them when Heeseung isn’t looking and pray that he means it.

When Jungwon decides he’s out of breath, he accepts his fate and runs into Sunghoon’s arms when you outstretch your arms to pinch his cheeks and pull them apart like he’s made out of dough. The broken laughter coming from your best friend makes you laugh too. Everyone, save for Heeseung, laughs when Jungwon’s face becomes distorted due to your fingers. 

Eventually, you pull away from him and he starts to grab his duffle bag and the lawn chairs. The three of you follow suit once you realize you’re missing a few people. You lift your duffle over your shoulder and put on your hiking backpack while trying to hold more lawnshairs than you can carry. 

“Woah,” Sunghoon says as he catches a falling chair. “Let me help.”

“Thanks, Hoon. I don’t know why I thought I could carry two chairs at once.” 

“You’re strong but you’re also carrying a fuck ton of things.” 

He smiles at you and it makes you laugh. You haven’t seen much of Sunghoon over the summer because he’s been working nonstop at a local ice rink, teaching kids how to skate in back to back summer classes. Sunghoon is sometimes too tired to hang out after work or falls asleep on your couch whenever he hangs out with you to watch movies. Your mom thinks it’s a bit endearing and never has the heart to wake him up. Between Sunghoon’s impromptu sleepovers, Jungwon and Sunoo’s unannounced visits, Jay’s cooking and baking sessions in your kitchen, and Jake appearing out of nowhere every few nights for dinner, you’re starting to think your house might have an unspoken open door policy. 

Heeseung is the only one who doesn’t frequent your house if you don’t count Riki, who doesn’t spend enough time in Korea to become a permanent fixture. The only time Heeseung has been to your house is when he dropped Jungwon off after he had one too many to drink and he’d been adamant about going to your place because it was closer to the bar in comparison to your apartment. One awkward conversation later and Heeseung was out of your driveway. Jungwon woke up with a hangover the next morning and you were grateful your mother chose that weekend to take a girl’s trip with her best friends.

You don’t invite Heeseung over like you do with the others. The only reason why you haven’t deleted his phone number is because of the big group chat you’re in to discuss plans. He never responds to your texts in it and you don’t respond to him unless absolutely necessary. Sometimes you catch him laughing at your messages only to retract it when he realizes it’s you who sent it. It’s been six years of dealing with this and as much as it confuses you, part of you has learned to tune out this behavior and focus on the other friends you do share. 

Sunghoon must know you’re thinking about his friend because he looks at you like he’s been trying to get your attention. “Sorry,” you apologize. “What did you say?” 

“I said thanks for letting us crash your trip. I know this is something you and Jungwon do with your families every year. Can’t help but feel a little special that we get to come along.” 

You coo at him. “Do you remember when you could barely look me in the eye, let alone tell me something as sweet as that?” Sunghoon rolls his eyes. 

“Oh, shut up. You know I’m an introvert.” You bump your hip with his. 

“I’m just messing with you. But in all seriousness, it’ll be fun having you guys around.”

“I’m excited to see what you and Jungwon do every year.” 

“Nothing too out of the ordinary. Swim, eat a lot of food, kayak, hike, the usual. But there’s one spot we usually go to, just he and I, that’s away from the main spot on the lake.” 

“How’d you find it?”

“Jungwon found it by accident when we were younger. He said it was gonna be our secret spot and told me not to tell our parents. I think the whole campground panicked for an hour or so until somebody found us in the clearing.” 

Sunghoon snorts. “Yeah, that sounds like you two.” 

“They told us to tell them where we’d be and promised to leave us alone if we gave them a heads up. It’s not really noticeable if you don’t know where to look, but it’s so beautiful. It leads to another part of the lake and it’s always so peaceful and quiet.” 

“In that case, I’m honored that you’re showing us.” 

“Eh, it’s about time we add new members to the club.”

“Oh?” He raises his eyebrow. “There’s a club now?”

“Mhm. Gotta pay me two fish to join.” 

“Like you know how to fish.” You bump your hip with his again.

“There are things you guys don’t know about me, Park. Just wait and see.” 

Sunghoon lets the conversation end when he finds himself at the campsite where Jay and Riki have started to organize things and make spots for tents. It’ll take a few trips for all of the supplies and camping gear to be fully unloaded so you each take turns until everything is sitting in a big pile, waiting to be sorted. 

“Okay, I’m a bit out of my depth,” says Sunoo, who kicks around a rock as he speaks. “I, for one, will need help pitching a tent.”

“I’ll help you,” you say, nodding for him to come over. 

“You can pitch a tent?” Heeseung asks like he doesn’t believe you. 

You nod and pick up a bag. “Yeah. I do this every year.” You don’t say it with any bite in your tone but Heeseung, who forgot this fact, feels like an idiot for making a fool of himself in front of his friends. He chooses to look away from you for now. 

“We have three tents we need to put up,” Jay says. “I’m thinking we pitch those now, have a snack and water break, and then start to organize before we eat lunch.” 

“Sounds good.” You agree. “I’d rather have everything set up so we can enjoy our evening. Besides, we should do this before it gets dark.” 

“Right.” Jungwon clears his throat and hands out each bag, assigning your friends based on the size of the tent. Everybody gets to work, clearing the flat ground of rocks and debris before deciding where your tents will go. You all hammer the groundsheet into the dirt before assembling the poles.

You teach Sunoo the basics and give him pointers when he struggles to connect the joints. He’s learning much faster than he gives himself credit for because in no time, he’s jumping for joy when he finally manages to grasp what he’s supposed to be doing. It’s nice to watch him be so happy over this, as Sunoo originally declined the invitation to go camping since he isn't a huge fan of the outdoors. But now it’s like you would’ve never guessed that because he’s pretty quick to pick up your lessons.

Your tent is pitched up in no time. You roam around like a camp counselor to see if anybody needs help. Jake, Heeseung, Jay, and Jungwon seem to know what they’re doing and have the biggest tent halfway set up. Sunghoon and Riki look like they need a bit of assistance. Sunghoon’s figuring it out quickly while Riki fumbles with his fingers. 

“You have to do it slowly,” you say from beside him. Riki hands you the attachments when you beckon him to hand it over and show him slowly. “Like this. See? If you do it slowly, they’ll catch easier and it’ll be smoother when we feed them into the tent.” 

“Oh.” Riki nods when your trick works. “Thanks, Y/N.” 

The three of you pitch up your tent too, with Riki handing you the pegs to hammer them into the ground after zipping the door. Sunghoon dusts off his hands on his shorts and takes a big gulp from his water bottle. Sunoo’s mom packed enough fruit and onigiri for a midday snack, and all eight of you feast quietly after exerting more power than anyone anticipated. You really need to start working out again. 

“Before we clear out and organize everything else, we should probably figure out who sleeps where,” Jungwon says. “That way, we can put our stuff in our respective tents and have that out of the way.” 

“Good idea,” Jake says. “How should we do this? Rock, paper, scissors?” 

“Sure, but I think Y/N and I should share a tent.” Heeseung rolls his eyes at Jungwon and you see it from the corner of your vision.

“What?” Riki asks. “Why?” 

“Because all of you get too comfortable around her and forget she doesn’t want to hear you snore or see your boxers in the morning.” Jungwon laughs. “It’ll be easier since we’ve been camping together anyway. She’s used to rooming with me and I’m used to waking up next to a Zombie.” 

“I hate you.” Jungwon merely smiles at you.  

“You just want to get out of sharing a tent with three people,” says Sunghoon. Jungwon nods. 

“That too.” 

“Rock, paper, scissors it is,” Sunoo says, getting his hands ready. 

They all battle one another until the rooming situation is sorted. You and Jungwon will share a tent while Sunoo and Jay share the other smaller one. That leaves Jake, Sunghoon, Riki, and Heeseung sharing the big one. You all throw your belongings in before helping Jay organize the portable stove, chairs, and other things that need to be stored properly. 

When all is said and done an hour later, Jay and Sunghoon start a barbecue. All of you are spent, sagging your bodies in the camping chairs that are positioned around the campfire. You know you’ll need to fetch some wood from the outpost if you all want to have a bonfire. But that can be a task for later.

“Your mom makes the best onigiri,” Riki groans as he shoves another bite in his mouth. “It reminds me so much of home.” 

Sunoo smiles proudly. “She’s the best, isn’t she?” Jake, who is busy stuffing his face with sliced watermelons, agrees. They pick at the leftovers from snack time and Jay chides them for it.

“Don’t spoil yourselves too much or you won’t have an appetite for lunch.” 

“He’s so bossy,” Riki says as he leans over towards you. “But it’s kinda nice having someone who does shit and takes charge.” 

You nod. “Mhm. Usually Jungwon and I are the ones spearheading everything but Jay’s got some camping experience. I’m fine taking the backseat.” 

“Do you camp a lot? Besides this tradition, I mean.” Riki watches you shake your head. 

“No, not really. This is as much as I can handle. It’s more like a gigantic lake house with hot showers and a few convenience stores miles away to replenish food if we run out of anything.”

“It looks like you know what you’re doing.”

“That’s because I do, Riki.” 

He blushes. “Right. Thanks for helping me with my tent earlier.” 

“Don’t sweat it. You’ll be able to do it without my help in no time.” That brings a shimmer of hope to the younger boy sitting next to you. 

Heeseung avoids looking at you when Riki purposefully sits beside you on the empty lawn chair. He doesn’t completely understand why the younger boy likes you so much. Heeseng thinks you’re a nuisance and that you overstay your welcome at hangouts. But Riki clings to you like you’re his lifeline and he gets that you’re his half-sister and all, but you weren’t the most welcoming to him when he started hanging out in Korea more often. Riki would never tell Heeseung the details about his past and he never tried to pry past what the youngest would reveal. Six years of avoiding you made him forget every single detail he once knew about you when you’d both been somewhat friendly towards one another. 

There were some days when you wouldn’t make room in your schedule to see Riki as often as he’d wanted you to and he lamented that to Heeseung. But every time he’d start to talk about how unfair it was for you to pick and choose when you got to see our younger brother, Riki would defend you every time. He didn’t get it, feeling the frustration bubble to the surface before realizing that it wasn’t his place to question why Riki acted the way he did. Sure, he was younger than Heeseung, but he respected family matters and didn’t care about you enough to figure you out anyway. 

He keeps these feelings to himself mostly. The friends you share don’t really understand why he has a distaste for you and he refuses to elaborate because the memory is too painful, and instead chooses to bury these feelings. It’s nobody’s business anyway. He certainly doesn’t want to start anything with Riki involved because he would feel guilty for putting him in an uncomfortable position, and because he knows he’d defend you regardless. Even though you’ve made progress to open up yourself to Riki, Heeseung still scoffs whenever he sees the two of you together. 

By the time lunch is done, all eight of you are crowded around a table built into the ground, feasting on meat and vegetables. Everybody thanks Jay for cooking and the seven of you agree to clean up after every meal so Jay doesn’t have to work twice as hard. You’re not sitting too far from Heeseung (to both of your dismay). Sunghoon purposely sat in between you both when he realized the other empty spots were filling up and didn’t want to chance an uproar during mealtime. 

“So,” Sunoo starts to say after closing the bottle cap on his cola. “What’s on the agenda for today? Personally, I think we should take it easy until tomorrow.” 

“I agree.” Jungwon nods. “We’ve done a lot and drove for a while. I say we relax and do whatever until dinner.” 

“I’m going to nap, that’s for sure.” You all snicker at Jay. Typical. 

“Me too,” says Riki. 

“Is anyone up for walking around the lake?” Jake asks. 

“I could go,” Sunghoon says from next to you. 

“Sure,” you finally say, “why not.” 

“I think I’ll hang back here.” Heeseung says it almost immediately and it stings a bit. “I’ll probably nap too.” 

“I want to read.” Sunoo changes the direction of the conversation before anyone can pick up on the awkwardness and you throw him a smile. 

“I think I’ll join you.” Jungwon pulls a book from his backpack and the pair begin to brainstorm where they should sit. Natural chatter falls back into place and you focus on eating, as your stomach has been grumbling pretty loud. 

Heeseung breaks the silence. “Can someone pass me the pineapple?” You don’t register that your arm has moved on its own accord and pass the container to him. Heeseung gives you a look you can’t decipher and it’s only then you realize what you’ve done. Sunghoon gulps. 

“Thanks,” Heeseung mutters, taking the pineapple from your hands. You’re pleasantly surprised he doesn’t make a comment about how he isn’t craving it anymore and watch him eat some from the corner or your eye. 

By nightfall, all of you are too exhausted to sit around the campfire. The hot shower stalls provide the kind of warmth you would go crazy without and you find yourself contemplating underneath the water longer than you’d like to admit. A plethora of thoughts run across your mind and they drift from the events of today, Riki, Heeseung, and moving to Okayama. Your friends don’t bring up the move and you’re grateful for that. 

When you return from the shower and from brushing your teeth, Jungwon asks if you’re okay. You lie and say you’re fine but exhausted and he lets it go, too tired himself to pry the truth out of you. The last thing you think about is Heeseung. You send a silent prayer out into the universe and ask that the two of you are able to make nice during this camping trip. Then, you fall asleep.

***

Everybody is up bright and early after a good night’s sleep. All of you agree today’s the best day for a short hike to get used to the terrain before you explore harder trails. You and Jungwon know the hike like the back of your hand and lead the group expertly through trees and dirt pathways. All of you have a backpack for your essentials, and each of you has packed a portable lunch for when you reach the top of the peak at the end of the trail. 

Halfway into the hike is not as uphill as you recalled it to be. The scenery is still breathtaking and you temporarily forget that Heeseung is burning eyes in the back of your skull. Last night’s prayer seems to be working, as he hasn’t said a word to you or argued with you when you started leading everybody towards the start of the hiking path. You’re not sure whether his feelings about you changed or if he knows you’re the literal expert since you grew up here, but you don’t think you care either way. 

Heeseung makes a false step and twists his ankle. You hear the commotion behind you and turn around. He stumbles and a sharp edge of a branch catches his thigh, creating a gash that starts to bleed. Everyone crowds around him when they realize it and make him sit on a large rock and he feels like shouting at you to back away when you start to walk towards him.

“Guys, I’m fine. It’s not that bad.” He feels more embarrassed than hurt. 

Jake looks concerned. “Dude, your leg is bleeding.” 

“It’s just a cut.” 

“Let me inspect it.” 

You pull your backpack off of you and take out your water bottle and first aid kit. You drop to your knees to inspect the wound and Heeseung refrains from coughing at the awkward position from where he’s sitting. You don’t seem phased by it, however, as you push up the fabric of his shorts and use your water bottle to clean the dirt from his wound. 

Your face is somewhat close to his leg and he jumps when your hand touches his thigh. The guys mistake his sudden movements as pain and rush to help stabilize him. Heeseung insists that he’s fine and brushes them off of him. He won’t admit that his fidgeting is because the last thing he expected you to do was patch him up. He figures Jungwon would be good at that kind of stuff, not you. 

Heeseung winces at the sudden contact of water in his wound. “Okay, maybe it hurts a little.”

“You won’t need stitches or anything, but I should get you cleaned up and put a bandage on it.”

Heeseung watches as you do your best to clean it with the wipes you have and ointment that will keep any debris out. The wound isn’t too gnarly but it’s no small papercut either. He watches as you expertly deal with the wound and keeps quiet, even though he feels uncomfortable and wishes he could turn back time to avoid any of this. It’s awkward to know your hands are on him because he feels like ants are crawling up his leg.

“I think we should probably go back and rest a little,” says Jungwon. “We can eat lunch there and maybe hang out for a bit.”

“Good idea,” Heeseung mutters when you’ve stepped away from him. Sunghoon and Riki each help him up and allow the eldest to use them as crutches as he limps back to the base. He mutters a quiet ‘thank you’ in your direction and doesn’t pay attention to see your reaction. You feel like you got your hopes up for nothing because he turns his back towards you before you can smile at him. Defeated, you try to put your best self on display and follow everybody back to your tents. 

Heeseung decides to rest on the chairs and eat his lunch there. You aren’t particularly eager to spend any time with him and figure he’d appreciate it if you weren’t around while he recovered. You take your sack of lunch and tell Jungwon you’ll be walking around the lake like you did yesterday. He tells you to be safe and then you’re on your way. 

“Hey, wait up!” You turn around to see Jake running until he’s caught up with you. It’s a bit unfair how he barely runs out of breath when he jogs. It’s definitely because he’s an athlete, but it’s still unfair. 

“Care to join?” 

“Can’t a guy accompany his friend on a nice, brisk walk?” 

That makes you laugh. “Yeah, sure.” You fall in a quiet tandem enjoying the silence and the environment for a while. “I had a lot of fun camping last year. I think my favorite part was kayaking or when Jungwon accidentally dropped his entire s’more in the fire.” 

You snicker at the memory. “His mom was so mad that he kept eating the marshmallows.” 

“Yeah, it was pretty funny. I still feel kind of embarrassed that I managed to flip over in my kayak somehow.” 

“Eh, it makes for a good story.”

“It’s not my fault Jungwon slammed into me!” Jake defends when you begin to laugh. “Seriously, Y/N. How the fuck do you put up with that menace?” 

“The same way you do, dummy.”

Jake bites into his sandwich. “I love Jungwon.”

“Me too.” 

“Our parents loved having you come too. Jungwon’s dad loves fishing with people.”

“I still can’t believe how many we were able to catch. I’m sad the guys weren’t there because they keep shitting on me for not being able to catch any when we go together.” 

You bump your shoulder against his. “They don’t know what I know. I’m sure my mom has pictures somewhere.” 

“How is she, by the way?” Jake asks. 

“Eomma’s doing alright. She just got a huge bonus at work for managing a really difficult client and completing this campaign she’s been working on. It stressed her out for months but I’m happy if she’s happy.” 

“That’s awesome. I’m happy for her.” 

“How are things with your family? How’s Layla?” 

“My parents are actually on a trip to the States to see some family and my brother just got promoted at his job. I’m super proud of him. He worked really hard for it. Layla’s doing okay too. She’s staying with my cousin until I come back.” 

“I miss her.”

“She probably misses you too.” 

The two of you settle into a comfortable pace and eat your lunches. There are no awkward moments with Jake. Something about his personality makes everyone around him divulge their deepest secrets and he always seems to know what to say, too. You haven’t been close to him for very long but you know him well enough to know that he’ll keep anything you say between the two of you. 

“I know you probably feel a little awkward with Heeseung around but you’ve been handling it really well.” Jake’s tone softens and he looks straight ahead as he talks, breaking the temporary silence. “I don’t know what goes on in his head half the time.” 

“I just wish I knew what I did so I can apologize and fix it. He gets mad every time I ask and accuses me of bringing up bad memories for him. I don’t know what to do, Jake. It feels like he gets along with everybody in my life but me.” 

“We all know Heeseung’s been through a lot and has trouble talking about them sometimes. He’s been in therapy but we had to really convince him to set an appointment.” 

You scoff. “Sounds like him.’ Jake doesn’t disagree. 

“I guess I understand that having to deal with shitty cards makes a person go insane.”

“Sure. I just wish I wasn’t the scapegoat.” Jake winces but tries not to let you see. 

“Sorry you’re going through this. Sunghoon and I made him swear to be on his best behavior.” 

“It’s a little awkward still but at least he isn’t picking a fight with me. Although, who knows how long that’ll last.”

“Have a little more faith in him, Y/N.” You deadpan and he holds his hand up in mock surrender. “Okay, next topic. How are you feeling about Japan?” 

Your shoulders slump. ”Awful.” 

Jake’s head quirks like he doesn’t understand. “What do you mean? You were really excited when you got the job offer.” 

“I know but…it doesn’t feel right anymore. My whole life is about to change and I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“You don’t have to know anything. In fact, I’d be a little worried if you had your shit figured out.” You punch his arm. “It’s really cool that you’re leaving Korea to pursue your dream. I know how hard it is to leave everything behind for a better opportunity.”

You look at him softly and nod because you know he empathizes with you. Back when you first met him, he’d moved from Australia to Korea because your university had one of the best physics programs in the world. He knew how to speak your native Korean but wasn’t confident in conversing back then, and you had your fair share of mentoring him in formal greeting and the basics when it came to interacting with people. Jake definitely understands where you’re coming from and doesn’t want you to feel alone. 

“We’ll always be here for you too,” he reassures. “We won’t be too far away and you can come home whenever you have the time and aren’t working.” 

“I know, but it feels like everything in my life is changing at the same time and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I wish I was a freshman again. I wish I could turn back time and really enjoy my life before I make a life changing decision.” 

“You’re really torn up about this, aren’t you?”

Nodding, you look at the ground beneath you. “There are so many things I’ve been dealing with over the past few years or so and it feels like I’m giving up on things if I just leave. Everything feels so scary, you know? I feel like I’m being suffocated every time I open my eyes. 

“On top of starting a new job in a place I’m not that familiar with, I’m leaving my mom behind. I’ve never lived farther than an hour away from her and I hate knowing that I won’t be able to see her whenever I want. Not to mention Riki studying in Korea means I’ll be spending even more time with him.”

Jake chooses not to comment and nods with his lips pressed into a thin line. He doesn’t know what’s going on between the two of you but has his suspicions after hearing your hushed conversations with Jungwon. Even before the two of you became as close as you are, Jake has always looked out for you because he knows Jungwon loves you like a sister. It was easy to tell that you’d fallen into some sort of depression as you graduated high school and barely managed to pull yourself out of it before graduating university. 

Riki has always been a sore subject for you. Jake doesn’t bring him up unless you do, no matter how much he adores the younger boy. The relationship you have with him is complicated but it tears him up inside to see Riki longing for you when the two of you are together. Jake knows there’s a great deal of tension that follows both of you too. He could feel it the first time you brought up having a half-brother and started to put the pieces together. 

“I love that Riki’s more comfortable in Korea. I really do,” you confess. “I love that my friends get along with him too, but part of me is scared that you’ll all forget about me since he’ll be here to take my place.” 

“You are not replaceable.” Jake looks at you when he says it. “You’re about to chase your dream, Y/N. None of us will throw our friendship down the drain just because we won’t be able to see you everyday. Riki is great but he’s not you.”

He’s pleased when you lift the corners of your mouth into a small smile. “Thanks, Jake. I don’t know where this fear came from.” 

“You’re dealing with a lot. It’s understandable. I don’t know much about what’s going on between you and Riki, and you don’t have to tell me, but you should know that he loves you a lot and would never think about dishonoring you while you’re gone.” 

“I know. I have a lot of pent up emotions and therapy feels like it isn’t working. I guess I should give myself some more time. But with the move, it’s been hard to focus on anything. I don’t want Riki to feel like I don’t want him in my life but it’s hard to make room for somebody you didn’t know existed until a few years ago.” 

Jake nods. “Yeah, I get that. It feels a bit weird making space for someone who calls himself your brother, isn’t it?” 

“He has every right to. I mean, he’s my half-brother. But I don’t know…I want to be at a place where I can look at him and not see how much my life has changed for the worst. He’s such a talented kid with a bright future and I hate that I project my feelings onto him.” 

“Baby steps,” Jake reassures. “You’ve been through a lot of shit. Both you and your mom have and you've both handled it really well.” 

“I’m glad it looks that way because I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread.” 

“Well, that’s what it means to be in your early twenties.”   

The two of you decide to head back to the campsite when it starts to get warmer. You throw your trash in garbage bins before trotting back and see that Sunoo and Jay have left to go back hiking on the trail that you were on earlier in the day. Heeseung seems to fare better with his wound, which you see he’s managed to replace (thanks to Jungwon, no doubt). But his mood seems to worsen when he sees you and Jake walking side by side towards the group. 

“How was the lake?” Jungwon asks, sipping on a cola.

“Pretty,” Jake replies. “There weren’t that many people there so it was a little empty.” 

“We should probably discuss what we want to do for the rest of the day and plan some stuff for later this week. It’ll be a little warmer later in the week so I think we should save that. There’s a great spot where Y/N and I go fishing. We could do that later in the morning.”

“Y/N, fishing?” Heeseung laughs. “I’d pay to see that.”

“What, you don’t think I can fish?” 

He shrugs. “I didn’t know you were a fan of the outdoors. You always had a nose in your textbooks so I thought that was it for you.” 

“Well, Heeseung, it’s not like the two of us know each other well enough to know these types of things.” He doesn’t seem to like that answer. 

“Fishing tomorrow it is!” Jake interjects. 

“I haven’t gone fishing in a long time,” Riki laments. “It’ll be nice to have trout for dinner.” 

“I think Jay brought a lot of seasoning and sides,” Jungwon says to the group. “We can always go to the market a few miles down for anything else.” 

You tune out the rest of the conversation, feeling a bit tired from the walk and the heat that’s starting to make you sweat. You’re eternally grateful that your tent is covered in shade and contemplate on taking a nap when Jungwon waves at you.

“You good, Y/N? You seem a little out of it.” You nod at Jungwon and take a seat next to the closest camp chair. You can feel Heeseung watching you and try not to slip as you sink down into the seat, crossing one of your legs over the other. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just have a lot going on in my head. I think I’m a little tired, too”

Heeseung scoffs quietly. “We’re camping. What could you possibly be thinking about that’s making Jungwon worried?” You curl into yourself as Jungwon chides his friend. 

“I’m moving to Japan soon,” you tell him. You’re not even sure that he knows this about you, figuring that one of your friends would tell him to you at some point. Neither of you communicate with one another unless you absolutely have to. You didn’t see the point in telling him. “I’ve been thinking a lot about that, I guess.”

An array of emotions seems to wash over him and, as always, you have a hard time trying to figure out what he’s feeling and thinking. “Oh. So you’ll be out of Korea?”

“Yup.” 

“When are you leaving?” 

“Don’t seem too excited,” Sunghoon says underneath a cough.

“In a couple of weeks. I leave a little after we get back home.” Heeseung merely nods. He doesn’t ask you why you’re moving or what part of Japan you’ll be living in and you don’t offer that information, feeling awkward with the tension ever since you and Jake arrived back at the campsite. Riki finishes eating and stands up to throw his trash away, providing something to look at in order to forget that Heeseung keeps trying to look away from you. 

“Y/N’s gonna be an engineer,” Jungwon brags on your behalf. “She’s taking a year off to work before getting her master’s degree.” 

“Damn,” Riki whistles. “You’re so smart.” You try to hide a smile. 

“What are you gonna be working on?” Sunghoon asks. 

“I’ll be assisting other researchers in software development, particularly for space and aeronautics.” You nod once, feeling tense underneath everyone’s stare. “I don’t know what I’ll be doing specifically but that’s why I’m moving to Okayama.” 

“That’s so cool!” Jake exclaims. Heseung rolls his eyes at his excited outburst and tries to avoid your eye. “You’re gonna be amazing.” 

“I hope so. It’s a great opportunity to work in my chosen field before I decide to continue in this career when I go back to school. I have so many interests within mathematics but this seems like the right place to start.”

“Shit,” Sunghoon says as he slowly claps for dramatic effect. “I knew you were smart but you’re a fucking genius.”

“I wouldn’t say genius–”

“You are, though.” Jungwon smiles at you and gives two thumbs up. “You’re the smartest person I know, dude. This company is lucky to have you.”

“So cool,” Jake says again. He bumps Heeseung’s shoulder with the back of his hand. “Isn’t that right, Heseung?” 

“Yeah, totally,” he says carelessly, giving you a half-hearted smile. His mouth doesn’t quite reach his eyes and you refrain from audibly sighing. 

“Don’t you think Y/N was always the smartest person in our year?” Heeseung nods. Jake nudges his friend again. 

“Yes,” Heeseung says with a great amount of venom in his tone. He shakes off Jake’s hand from his body abruptly, causing the younger boy to take a step back in shock. He looks at you and musters an insincere smile when he notices the rest of your friends watching. “Y/N is so smart.” 

His sarcasm deafens your ears and makes your blood feel like it could be boiling beneath your skin. The atmosphere around you changes. Riki and Jungwon try to pretend like everything is normal while Jake and Sunghoon give Heeseung wide eyes as if to tell him to knock it off. You look at your lap, uncomfortable with the silence that washes over. 

“Why’s it so quiet?” Sunoo asks from behind you. The group collectively sighs and you’re all thankful that he and Jay returned from their hike to cut the tension. 

“We were just talking about what we wanted to do for the rest of the day,” Jungwon says before anyone can speak. “Let’s take it easy tonight and go fishing tomorrow.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Jay takes a seat and takes a big gulp of water. “Let’s heat up some kimchi jjigae for dinner because I don't feel like cooking. Jake’s mom made enough for all of us to have seconds.” 

None of you disagree. Feeling yourself grow more tired the more your friends converse with one another, you manage to catch Jungwon’s eye and nod at him before heading inside the tent. 

***

It’s not unusual for you to wake up with what feels like a heavy heart but you’re having a hard time pushing yourself off of the uncomfortable ground to get ready for the day. Jungwon is asleep beside you with his knee digging into your side but even that isn’t enough to motivate you to leave the tent. 

You mourn the loss of your mom and his parents accompanying you  on this trip. As fun as hanging out with your friends are, having Heeseung constantly avoiding eye contact and muttering things underneath your breath has you feeling more on edge than you anticipated. It always feels like he’s waiting for you to mess up so he can get a word in or wait for the perfect moment to drop a subtle insult that only you can catch. Sunghoon and Jake in particular try their best to restrain him but that doesn’t do much. Eating dinner was awkward and you blamed your quiet nature on sleeping too deeply. 

Finally, you sit up in your spot and rub the sleep out of your eyes. It doesn’t seem like any of the other guys are up and you pull a clock out to read the time. It’s still early and the people around you are still waking up as well. Your movements seem to have woken up Jungwon, who yawns when he opens his eyes.

“Morning,” he croaks. “Did you sleep okay?”

“It was fine. Woke up a few times because of people stepping on twigs, though.”

“Yeah, same. I think Jake got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Woke up to him walking by the tent.” Jungwon sits up and brushes the hair out of his eyes. “I’m so hungry thinking about all the trout we’re about to eat tonight.” 

“If you catch any.” He swats your arm. 

“I alway catch more than you.”

“Nuh-uh. Last year I beat you by two fish.”

“Y/N, I’ve caught more fish than you every year before that.” 

“Shut up.” 

You hear Jungwon laughing as you exit the tent to freshen up at the bathhouse. There are a few people milling about when you walk towards the structure. Your mouth feels a bit grimey from your morning breath and the cold water that hits your face wakes you up immediately. When you turn around after you’ve finished your morning routine, you collide right into Heeseung.

“Watch it.” 

“I didn’t see you. Geez.” Your heart continues thumping as you grip your toiletry bag. Heeseung rolls his eyes and slips past you. Anger rises within you but you decide that it’s not worth getting so worked up over at this hour. 

As time ticks by, the rest of your friend group emerge from their tents and gather around the campfire. You all wait for everyone to wake up and prepare themselves for the day, enjoying a nice breakfast with a cool breeze until you’re all ready to go fishing. You secure the bucket hat Jungwon’s dad gave you until it fits snugly over your head and forego a jacket, only packing the necessities while you wait for everybody else to gather their belongings before you’re all walking to the boathouse. 

The instructors are the same from last year. You and Jungwon make small talk and explain that neither of your parents are here on this trip and you tell them about Japan when they ask you about life after college. Each of your friends introduce themselves and after a quick introduction, they’re leading all eight of you out onto the dock. 

There are enough boats for two pairs of three and one for two people. It seems as though you were too preoccupied talking to the employees because you realize the only boat left is one shared with Heeseung and Riki. 

“Oh,” comes your meek voice in realization as you watch the two step onto the boat.

“You should man the engine,” the employee says as the two men get on before you. “You’re more familiar.”

“I can steer,” Heeseung says. “I’ve done it before.” 

“I’ve watched Y/N steer these boats for a decade, son. You’ll definitely want her to do it.” 

Heeseung relents. It’s a small victory, but a victory nonetheless, 

You step onto the boat. Heeseung sits at the far end while Riki sits in the middle, holding onto the seat as you get your bearings. The three of you wave goodbye to the employees at the dock and you start to drive the boat out into the lake to catch up with the rest of your friends.

The open clearing away from the port is more beautiful than you can describe. With open waters and enough room to roam around, there’s an array of directions to catch the most fish. The water is fairly calm with the exception of the ripples your boat makes. Riki and Heeseung don’t say a word as you steer them towards a clear path with minimal boats and see the other guys scattered around the large body of water. 

Neither of them argue with you about where to go, even though Heeseung is holding himself back. Bitter over having you steer, he knows it’s the logical answer since you know this place like the back of your hand. He instead chooses to bask in the sunlight and welcomes the spray of water on his face and body. The cool splashes are a nice contrast to the warm sunlight. 

When you start to slow the boat down, the water around you becomes still as well. You turn the engine off and wait for the contraption to settle beneath you. The sound of water rippling against itself is enough to make you feel more at ease and you don’t mind it when you see Heeseung start to assemble bait on the fishing poles.

“Why’d you pick this place?” Riki asks.

“I caught a lot of fish here last year. I hope we can catch more this year.”

“More than Jungwon?”

You smile. “Yeah. He and I have this unspoken competition.”

“What’s the prize?”

“There’s not really a prize. It’s just something we do.”

“What’s the point of competing if there’s no prize?” Heeseung interjects. You shrug.

“Dunno. It’s fun for us.” He doesn’t say anything after that. 

It’s quiet for a while. The sound of birds chirping and faint chatter in the background fill the atmosphere but the three of you silently agree to refrain from talking once you’ve all casted your reels. Riki, who is a bit excited to catch some fish, anxiously peers at the water below him every few minutes or so. He pulls back with a pout when he doesn’t feel a tug on his line. The awkward tension somewhat dissipates and you’re able to forget that Heeseung is a few feet away from you. He angles his face towards the water and seems to be in his own bubble as you hold your fishing rod. 

Growing up on this campsite means learning the virtue of patience and willing yourself to become more in tune with your surroundings. It was your father that first taught you that the most important rule to fishing was patience. He’d tell you the fishes could sense urgency and impatience from underneath the water, and therefore they knew not to take your bait. It made sense to you at a young age. Every time you’d be on the water with him, you’d force yourself to slow down and calm your thoughts until the silence felt like a welcomed embrace. 

That mantra of practicing patience seeps into your life now that your dad isn’t in it anymore. Jungwon’s father had volunteered to go fishing with you the first year your own chose not to go on the annual camping trip. Everyone could tell how difficult it was for you and your mother to attend, but despite hardship and the change in dynamics, she didn’t want either of you to lose any semblance of normalcy. You’d argue that was the hardest week of your life. Jungwon, who is usually very organized and detail oriented, chose to let you lead the trip activities between the two of you and didn’t complain once.

The two of you were in high school when your father left and Jungwon swears it was like somebody stole the sun from your eyes. Your studies became the sole focus of your life and even Heeseung was barely at the forefront of your mind anymore. He’d watch you become detached from everything that didn’t have to do with academics and extracurriculars. Focusing on college applications was the most important thing for you back then. 

Of course, Jungwon and all of your friends gave you a bit of space to process new feelings and the change in household. Your father moved away and wasn't living in the house anymore. It started to become an empty shell, where neither you nor your mother could stand eating at the dining table because it brought up unwanted memories. Your dad wasn’t here to help you with homework anymore and you could no longer hear your parents talk outside of your door until you fell asleep. The complete silence startled you. It still does sometimes, but you’ve learned that grief is about facing your hardships until it isn’t so scary anymore. 

These trips are bittersweet every year. Fishing is a reminder of everything you’ve lost. But lately, you’re starting to think about it as everything you could gain and then some.  

“The more you look down, the more the fish are gonna be scared,” you say, breaking the quiet atmosphere. Riki looks at you quizzically. 

“Really?”

“No, but you’re not gonna catch anything faster just by looking down.” His shoulders sag. 

“We’ve been here for so long and nothing has tugged on my line.” 

“Fishing is a game of chance. The fish choose to take your bait if it feels enticed enough.” As if on cue, your fishing rod starts to move. Riki watches you latch onto it while Heeseung turns back when he feels the boat rock underneath him and observes you too. You wrestle with it for a short while before reeling the fish above water and proudly hold it beside you. “Patience is the most important part of fishing. The fish finds you when you least expect it.” Heeseung snorts when you put the fish in the bucket. It takes a great deal out of you not to roll your eyes. 

“You’re so wise,” Riki mutters. 

“I don’t think I’m wise, per se. I just think there’s nothing else you can do when you’re in open water with nothing to distract you.” 

“I’m working on my patience. Moving to Korea made that pretty difficult for me.” 

“Well, you’re moving to a new country. It’s something you’ve never done before, you know? I bet packing was stressful.” 

“I hated every second of it,” he says as he rolls his eyes like you’ve brought out an irritating memory. “I triple checked everything before leaving. I hope I didn’t forget anything back home.” 

“Are you scared to start the semester?”

Riki thinks about it for a second. “Kind of. My Korean is okay, but I still have trouble saying certain words. The culture is different, too. I need to get used to that more. I guess I’m a bit sad that I had to leave my friends and family behind but it’s for the best, isn’t it? I wanted this.” 

You find yourself nodding in agreement. “Yeah. It’s hard to leave everything you know behind.” 

“I cried when I said goodbye to my dance teachers,” Riki admits with a laugh. “I think it was the first time I did that in front of them. We kept bowing to each other until I had to go. It’ll be weird finding a new studio in Seoul but I’m excited about it.” 

“You’re an incredible dancer, Riki. There’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll thrive here.” 

He tries to hide his blush. “Thanks. I’m happy that I know some people already but it’s not the same, you know?” 

“That’s how I feel about moving to Okayama. I know it’ll only be a year, but it feels like I’ll be there for a lifetime.” 

“Do you ever get scared that everything back home will change?” Heeseung, too, is curious about your answer. 

“Honestly? Yeah. Sometimes it feels like everything’s gonna change completely the second I step on that plane. I feel like everyone will forget me and move on.”

Riki looks back at the water. “I wonder if people back home think of me.” 

“They do.” He looks back at you.

“Everyone here will think about you too.” 

A beat passes between the two of you and you start to see Riki for what he is: a smart, sensitive person who disguises himself as somebody who can mask his feelings. What you learn is that your half-brother wears his heart on his sleeve but is careful about who he gives himself too. It’s something you’ve noticed in the time you’ve known him, but this trip is starting to make you think you two are more alike than not. 

“What about you, Heeseung?” Riki asks, turning to look at the eldest. “What are you gonna be doing now that you graduated?” 

“I, uh, start working at a record label pretty soon.” He clears his throat. Knowing you’re looking at him makes this boat feel smaller all of the sudden. 

“You majored in music production, right?” Heeseung nods. 

“Yeah. I’ve always had an interest in music so I learned how to produce during freshman year and started taking it seriously.”

“I’ll bet your perfect pitch helps you a lot.” Heeseung whips his gaze over to you when you speak and you feel your skin burn. You don’t know if you should’ve contributed to the conversation or not. 

“Sure does,” he says awkwardly, looking at the fishing rod between his legs. Heeseung remains quiet when Riki doesn’t prod him further and looks back at the water in front of him. Even in the forced proximity, you still can’t figure out why he chooses to be avoidant. 

Heeseung, on the other hand, finds that there’s much to contemplate about. His life has barely begun and yet he feels the weight of his future hanging in the balance. He’s just moved into his first apartment and will need to furnish it when he gets back from the camping trip. He’s got a mattress with no bed frame and a single loveseat his parents gave him. Aside from his gaming setup, Heeseung’s one bedroom apartment is completely bare. 

Looking at it makes him worry for his future and being around you. You, someone he’s always assumed had it easy because you were academically gifted, makes Heeseung feel like he’s got to step up his game. He hasn’t liked you ever since high school for reasons he justifies as perfectly valid. But high school was years ago and some of his anger has subsided. All that’s left is a faint annoyance and he'd rather be anywhere than next to you. He only said yes to this trip because of the other people who were going as well. 

He’s kept his feelings simmering beneath the surface and chooses to focus on anything but you when he hears you talk. It’s frustrating enough knowing you share a lot of mutual friends, even worse when some of his best friends are people you consider family. He hates that Jake is comfortable enough to hang out with you without anyone else present and loathes that Sunghoon actively wants to become closer to you after he realized the two of you share the same taste in cinema. He especially despises the fact that Riki looks up to you even though, in Heeseung’s eyes, you’ve done nothing to earn it. 

The young teenager met the eldest of the bunch at a bonfire the third time he came to Korea after your mom had forced you to bring him along. You told him absolutely no alcohol no matter if anyone else was going to be drinking and to say no if your friends offered him a beer. He watched you that night, the way you periodically looked at your half-brother but made a lame attempt to include him in conversation. Riki found fast friends in Sunoo and Jungwon after messing around in the shallow waters of the ocean. Heeseung decided that you didn’t deserve that type of respect from Riki at that moment. 

It’s been years since then and he’s seen the two of you grow, albeit slowly. Even in his blind hatred for your existence, Heeseung has always wondered why Riki vies for your attention. In fact, what is it about you that makes everybody fawn over you? Why do you always seem to be the center of attention? Does nobody care about what you did to him all those years ago?

It keeps him up at night to know that nobody around him understands why he’s so angry at you. Above the root cause, you have everything you could ever want. You were the smartest girl in high school and university, and it was no question about what your future would look like. You’d accepted a job opportunity right after graduating and it seemed as though things were merely handed to you without you working that hard for it. You didn’t have to ask for anything. It always seemed as though people could read your mind and always gave you what you wanted. 

Maybe coming to the camping trip was a mistake. He’s been walking on eggshells around you this entire time and feels like he’s suffocating every time his friends laugh at your jokes. Heeseung bites his tongue when he feels himself getting worked up and finds that nothing can get his mind off of you no matter how hard he tries. 

He wonders if you remember that day all those years ago. He wonders if you know just how hurtful words can be and how awful it is to be on the receiving end of utter despair and desperation. Heeseung has always known you to be somebody who knows exactly what you want, too. Teenage angst never stopped you from pursuing higher education. It seemed like you threw everything you had into academics and everyone rewarding you for it made Heeseung want to crumble. Nobody else thought of you the way he did. 

But this is something he’d rather keep to himself. For as much as he refuses to be your friend, he knows nothing good will ever come out of trying to convince everyone you aren’t someone who they should be friends with. After all, you’ll be working in Okayama and with any luck, you’ll make a permanent residence out of Japan. 

Heeseung is distracted from his thoughts when Riki manages to catch a rather large fish. With your help, he’s able to reel it in and watches the younger boy become awestruck at its sheer size. Heeseung watches you congratulating Riki and celebrates this excitement with him as you put the fish in the bucket for safe keeping. It should warm his heart to see a friend of his so happy, but seeing you smiling next to him makes Heeseung feel all the more irritated. The three of you head back to the dock after another couple of hours and a few more dishes later.

Jungwon catches more fish than you do. All eight of you manage to acquire enough for dinner and breakfast in the morning. Jay and Jake have volunteered to help with cooking while the rest of you prepare side dishes and talk about fishing adventures from your time apart. You smile at the group halfway through the conversation, fondness blooming in your chest when everybody is laughing after having eaten dinner. 

“God, I swear I almost fell into the water trying to wrestle with the trout!” Jake shouts amongst the chaotic laughter. “It felt like I was about to become one with the fish.” 

“I almost pushed his ass into the lake,” Jay snorts. “It was so fucking funny.”

“I’m surprised Sunoo caught the most fish out of all of us.” Jungwon shrugs and bites into his s’more. 

“You’re telling me,” Sunoo replies as he wipes chocolate from his lip. “That’s my quota for this trip, though. Don’t expect me to go fishing again.” 

“I’m not ready for this trip to end,” Riki says with a mixed sigh. “We’ve already been here for a couple of days and it feels like time is going by so fast.” 

“I start that consulting job the Monday we go back and I’m excited for it, but I’m also nervous. It hit me on the way back from the lake.” Jay rubs his face with his hands. “This adult shit is scary, man.”

“Do you guys remember when we were all freshmen and had that awful orientation leader?” Heeseung asks. Those who were in the same year as him nod. “That felt like just yesterday and now we’re about to be real adults.”

“Jay’s going to become a financial consultant, you’re working at a record label, Sunghoon’s going to open up his own cafe someday, and I’m about to start a fellowship at a research lab.” Jake shakes his head like he can’t believe it. “Not to mention Y/N’s moving to Japan for work. If you told me four years ago we would talk about the future like this, I would’ve laughed.” 

“It feels a bit weird knowing we aren’t going back to school.” Sunghoon looks at the younger boys and laughs. “Well, sorry to you guys.” 

Sunoo speaks up with a pout. “It’ll be weird not seeing you guys around campus. I’ll miss running into you on my way to class.” 

“Sometimes I wish we could stay in college forever.” Jay reaches over and picks out another marshmallow to put on his stick. “It sucked ass but it was nice living close to you guys.”

“I’m scared to go out there alone.” You tug at the zipper on your jacket and stare at your hands. “I feel like I’m going to mess everything up and fail. I’ll come home and have nothing to show for myself.” 

“Couldn’t have said it any better.” Sunghoon finishes off his s’more and wipes the crumbs off of his lap. “I wish everything was simple and easy. We really had it good back then, didn’t we?”

“Don’t get too caught up in growing up too fast,” Jake says as he pinches Riki’s cheeks for dramatic effect. The latter tries to dodge his touch but fails. He points to Jungwon and Sunoo. “You guys need to make every minute count.”

Jungwon laughs. “You sound like a Hallmark card.”

“Yeah, but one day you’ll be saying the same thing. You’ll go back to campus and you won’t see us walking around.” Jungwon remains quiet after that. 

“You’ll all be fine.” Sunoo nods once and it feels like he’s smiling at everyone individually through the fire. “Life is scary but there’s a reason why we believe in you.”

Jay nudges Sunoo with his knee. “Since when did you get so wise?”

“You could learn a thing or two from me.”

The tension dissipates. Everyone finishes up their desserts and helps tidy up the campsite. Jake and Sunghoon put out the fire while the rest of you put the chairs away and throw out any leftover trash in the nearby garbage bin. One by one, the eight of you start to grow sleepier as time ticks by. You all let your younger friends wash up first as you stifle yawns and prepare your makeshift bedding while you wait. 

It feels like forever to wait with Heeseung close to you. Everybody else bids you goodnight as you brush your teeth in the wash station and rinse your face of dirt and debris from earlier in the day. Heeseung is standing just a few feet away as he waits for you to finish up but knowing he’s watching you makes your heart rate increase. Your hands tremble as you turn the faucet off and it’s just your luck that you trip over yourself and hold onto Heeseung when you turn around to exit the washroom. 

“Watch where you’re going, Y/N,” Heeseung snaps. He shrugs your hands off of him and pushes you away from his body. 

“What the fuck is your problem with me?” If Heeseung is surprised by your sudden outburst, he doesn’t show it. Your typically calm, non-confrontational demeanor is nowhere to be seen. 

“Why can’t you walk properly?” he mocks. 

“You have been so passive aggressive towards me this entire trip. Hell, you’ve been that way since we were in high school. What the fuck is your deal and why can’t you man up and tell me why you hate me so much?” 

His expression sours. “You have some nerve asking me that.” 

“Why?! You won’t tell me what your deal is and I can’t fix it if you don’t communicate that with me. We have so many mutual friends who want us to get along and it’s fine if we’ll never be friends, but really, Heeseung, you’re acting like a child.” 

Heeseung’s nostrils flare and it feels demeaning the way he has to look you down in order to meet your eyes. The twinge in your heart flares when he makes no effort to talk to you further. The tension in his shoulders rises and falls with every second that passes by and you’re starting to wonder if there’s any way you can leave the trip early. 

He doesn’t say anything, though. Heeseung pulls away from you and enters the washroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the sound of water running. Years of pushing aside your feelings for the greater good of preserving the peace feels like they’re suffocating you with every step you take as you talk back to your tent. The cold chill of the night bristles through your hair and your watery eyes make you stumble before unzipping your makeshift bedroom. 

“Y/N?” Jungwon asks, half-asleep. He sees you wipe your eyes as you turn away from him and put away your dirty clothes and toiletries. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” 

He pushes himself up and hears the clip in your tone. With his eyes softening, Jungwon gently touches your shoulder and realizes that your eyes are red before you shut your flashlight off. “Come here.” 

It’s somewhere between a command and a plea. Jungwon doesn’t force you to speak as he pulls your body into his. He doesn’t care that your tears are falling onto his arm and he doesn’t mind that you’ve settled your weight onto his chest. Your silent hiccups make his heart lurch and the best he can do is let you cling onto him in your time of need. 

You don’t get like this often. The last time he remembers you letting him hold you like this was a few days after your parents’ divorce had been finalized. The tangerine-shaped pillow you had was the only thing keeping Jungwon’s back from aching as you spent what felt like hours sobbing between his arms, dirtying his shirt with your hot tears. His heart broke back then, too. He’s not used to seeing you without a smile on your face and every crack in your demeanor lets him know you’re a dam that’s about to burst. 

It can’t be easy to live knowing your father willingly left and chose to leave you behind. Nearly two decades of saying ‘I love you’ and championing his only daughter to be the best version of herself felt like it was all for naught the night he told you he wouldn’t be living with you anymore. You could barely stand watching him pack his belongings and take everything valuable with him. You were unusually quiet during this period of time, too scared to make a sound and make things worse than they already were. 

Jungwon knows you keep your heart locked away in a cage these days. Your friends know you like the back of their hands but it’s been getting harder and harder to coax you out of your shell. He knows it hasn’t been easy with Heeseung within your main friend group and wishes he could do more to quell your anxieties about spending time with him, even if your other friends are there to shield you from his silent torment. 

Your best friend softens a bit when you cling onto his arm, holding him like he’s your lifeline. He pushes his fingers through your hair the way he’s seen your mom do countless times and rocks your body back and forth until you’ve started to calm down. He hears your shallow breaths and holds onto you for the fear that you’ll think he doesn’t want to comfort you if he lets you go. 

“Sorry.” Your voice is brittle and it makes his heart break. 

“You never have to be sorry, Bug. Are you okay?” You shake your head. “Is it something one of us did?” You nod. “Was it Heeseung?” He hates that you start to tear up again. “I’m sorry, Bug. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t understand why he doesn’t like me,” you hiccup. “I don’t know what I did. How can I apologize when I don’t know what I’ve done?” 

Jungwon sighs. He’s with you on this one. “You’re right. I don’t know what’s gotten into him recently but I’m fed up with it too.” 

“We don’t need to be friends but I want him to stop pretending like I ruined his life.” Your best friend nods against you and pushes his cheek against the crown of your head. “Sorry that I woke you up. I feel like a mess.”

“You’re not a mess, Bug. You’ve been tied together with a smile for so long. It’s only natural that you break down every once in a while.”

“You’re very smart, Wonnie.” 

He laughs. “I know. Do you want to cry some more or go to sleep?” Jungwon’s tone lacks any humor tonight. He’s concerned about you in a way that makes you feel like a porcelain doll and while you appreciate it when he pokes fun at you to show how comfortable he is with you, this feels just as nice. 

“I’m ready to sleep.” 

You pull away from him and settle in your sleeping bag, welcoming the calmness that washes over you. Jungwon chooses to stay up just a smidge longer until he’s certain that you’re asleep before he closes his eyes, wishing for better days ahead of you.

***

The trees always seemed taller when you were younger. They stretched for miles and touched the sky from your point of view, almost as if they  could reach the heavens above. You always wondered what it must be like to have lived as long as nature around you. The leaves and branches see all walks of life, from humans to animals, and keep many secrets hidden underneath its shaded areas. It almost feels like they whisper stories back to you when the wind shakes the weakest branches. You always try to listen. 

When you find yourself hiking on another path around the lake, it becomes easier for you to clear your mind and think about all that lies before you. The sounds of birds chirping amongst the blue sky make the environment around you seem picturesque. In all of your ears camping here, you don’t think you’ve ever appreciated it the way you are at this very moment. 

Your friends are scattered in front and behind you, each of them wrapped up in their own conversations. You can feel Jungwon look at you periodically but you silently let him know that you’re doing alright. He worries about you a lot and he has every reason to. Sometimes, you wonder if any part of you is holding him back because he spends so much time looking after you. It used to be the other way around with you watching after him at playgrounds and on your walk home from school. But with your father leaving as soon as you started trying to figure out who you were, it was like a switch had flipped. 

Your best friend has had a few girlfriends here and there but none of them ever lasted long. He reminds you that he’s young and isn’t looking for a life partner at this stage in his life, but you know he worries about you ever since the news of your dad leaving and Riki entering your life turned your world upside down. You wonder if you’re causing him too much stress. 

He always reminds you that you’re the reason he has so many people that he loves. You introduced him to the majority of your friends on this camping trip. You were the one who introduced him to his first girlfriend and why he finds so much hope in all of the small things. Jungwon admires your resilience and ability to stand on your feet after you’ve been knocked to the ground by an unseen force. Your tenacity pushes him to be a better person towards others and to himself, and he’ll remind you every chance he gets. Jungwon believes that you’re okay for now. You know he’ll be there to pick up the pieces if you need him to.

It brings you back to your future and how Jungwon won’t be physically present when you move to Japan. You’ve spent so much time with him and it made you happy when he was accepted into his bachelor program at your university. The two of you have always been close, whether it was because neither of you had siblings and found solace in each another or because of forced proximity from being neighbors, you don’t know. It feels like you’ll be saying goodbye to somebody who you’ve always leaned on. It feels like you’re leaving him the way your dad left you. 

Dealing with the overwhelming guilt of moving to Okayama, the city your father moved to when he left you and your mom, digs a hole deep inside of your chest every time you think about it. It’s probably why you push off discussions about moving whenever you can and change the subject when other people bring it up. You try not to get too irritated whenever your mom talks to you about packing and everything else that’s important when settling in a new country, like a work visa or financial burdens. But every conversation with her about your eventual move feels like a million needles are slowly pricking your skin. Every step feels heavier than the next. 

There’s Heeseung, too, who has been plaguing your mind ever since you awoke. It’s not unlike him to be cold towards you. In fact, you’ve dealt with tuning him out and learned to ignore his quiet scoffs, paying attention to anyone who would give you some of their attention. The accumulation of life stress and the inevitable move has made it so your heart rate can’t seem to be still at any time in the day. Heeseung doesn’t make it any better by snapping at you for treading carefully. This feeling reminds you of the time you tiptoed around your father when you found out about his infidelity being the reason why he chose to leave you and your mother for Okayama. It feels like anticipating a bomb going off. It’s never a matter of if, but when. 

You don’t remember when things changed but you remember it was abrupt and unannounced. One day, the two of you were laughing with bologna sandwiches for lunch and the next, Heeseung was ignoring you like the two of you had never been friends. His stare was just as cold as his tone when speaking. You could never catch his eye when you were with your group of friends and he refused to be alone with you. The hurt that came with his actions felt like a punch in the gut with all you were dealing with back home. 

The reason why it was easy to tune out his friendship was purely because of prioritization. Dealing with empty rooms and the house feeling like a ghost was haunting the walls was by far a greater sadness than losing a friend. But even so, seeing Heeseung laugh with your friends and watching him excel in everything you used to support him in made you feel like you were being left behind. It hurt to attend his basketball games because he no longer looked for your eyes in the stands. He didn’t acknowledge you when your group of friends would head to the nearby diner for a celebratory meal, and he didn’t call you to say goodnight and to thank you for coming to his games and open practices anymore. 

The ghost of your friendship lingered over you like an unwanted guest. It followed you into university after you committed to the same one and it seemed like neither of you could escape one another. Seeing him live a life that you weren’t a part of made your reality sink in–the few years he spent distancing himself from you wasn’t merely a fluke or teenage angst. Heeseung wanted nothing to do with you. You had to learn how to be okay with that. 

Still, you wish you were as tall as the trees around you. Maybe then Heeseung would tell you why he didn’t like you anymore. 

“Y/N, watch out!” 

The warning nearly comes too late. You don’t register a hissing sound until you see a reflection of scales and stumble backwards into somebody who seems to be caught off guard as much as you are. Jake’s warning saved you from a nasty bite from a snake that has slithered away back between the trees but your heart stammers in your chest as you curl yourself further deeper into the person behind you. 

You hate snakes. You’re petrified of them 

Heeseung, to his misfortune, is the person you’ve bumped into. He saw the snake just before Jake said his warning and felt his body freeze in the way yours didn’t. He didn’t have time to move aside and let Sunoo, who he was talking to, move to grab your body and pull you out of harm’s way. He feels your beating chest against his and looks down at you. Heeseung doesn’t think he’s ever seen you like this before. It makes his stomach fall. 

“Y/N is really scared of snakes,” Jungwon says as he walks up to the two of you, offering a quick explanation before Heeseung could say anything about you clinging onto him. “She got bit by one as a kid and it scared her pretty bad.” Heeseung doesn’t push you away. Instead, he lets Jungwon pry you off of his body until you’re able to blink and come to your senses. 

“Sorry.” You throw an apology his way when Jungwon rubs your back. The rest of your friends, who seem to know about your fear, try to give you some space instead of crowding around you. A part of him wants to scoff. The other part of him feels bad for you. It almost makes him feel guilty for being so short with you last night.

“We’re almost at the end of the trail anyway,” Jungwon says. “Let’s finish it and get some lunch.” 

When you all arrive back at the campsite, Jake pulls your water bottle out of your backpack and stands with you while Jungwon lets you stand right beside him in an attempt to calm yourself down. Jay and Sunghoon, not wanting to impede and make things uncomfortable, decide to go on another short hike and let you rest. The sight is a bit unnerving for Heeseung, who has generally only ever thought of you as this self righteous, confident person, to see you in such a state of shock that you could barely look him in the eye like you did the night before. He’s used to you avoiding and ignoring him but he isn’t accustomed to you scurrying away from anything or anyone. 

He’s a bit confused as to why he feels a little guilty for how he spoke to you last night. You were his friend before he decided you weren’t and that feeling of concern is starting to creep back in. Heeseung watches the way you flinch when Jake tries to rub your shoulder and how Jungwon is the only person who seems to know how to get you to relax after the snake incident. 

“Is she really that scared of snakes?” Heeseung asks Sunoo, who stands away from you to give you space. He pretends to be busy picking at his nails to let you have peace and not make you feel overcrowded with two of your friends already by your side. 

“If I tell you, are you going to use that against her?” Sunoo doesn’t typically question Heeseung like this. It startles him but he shakes his head anyway. 

“No,” says Heeseung. “I’m not. I’ve never seen her act like that.”

Sunoo must think the elder is telling the truth. “When Y/N was very young, a snake bit her ankle when her parents weren’t looking. She got scared and tripped over a rock or something, and her entire leg started to bleed and got a pretty bad gash from it. They rushed her to the emergency room and panicked because her leg was covered in blood.”

“That’s it?”

Sunoo glares at Heeseung. “It might not seem like a big deal to you, but that kind of stuff leaves an impression on you when you’re a kid, Heeseung. She’s been pretty terrified of snakes and blood ever since.” 

“Huh. I never knew that.”

“Don’t go barking up that tree. It’s bad enough that you hate her for no good reason.” 

Heeseung looks at Sunoo quizzically when he hears his friend’s harsh tone. “What’s the matter with you?” 

Sunoo scoffs. “Me? What’s the matter with you? I heard you and Y/N last night. You were an ass to her. She’s right, too. How can she apologize for hurting you if you never talk about what she did? 

“Sunoo–”

“Save it, Heeseung.” He straightens his posture. “You’re my friend and I love you, but you’ve been really harsh on Y/N for the past few years. I thought the two of you drifted apart but you clearly have a vendetta against her.”

“I do not have a vendetta against Y/N.”  

“Sure. Whatever you say. Just remember that Y/N’s the reason why you’re on this trip. One veto from her and Jungwon would’ve kicked your ass to the curb. You’re lucky she doesn’t say this shit to anyone.” 

Heeseung looks at his shoes, feeling the heat in his body creep up his neck. He knows Sunoo’s somewhat right. You’re half the reason why this trip exists at all. Even if Jungwon brought the friend group along, it’s you who this campaign tradition belongs to as well. Heeseung bites his tongue and tries his best not to argue with Sunoo. Deep down, the elder knows that he’s been a bit harsh to you and sometimes finds himself regretting the venom he aims directly at you. But then he remembers that incident from all those years ago and feels his anger bubble up inside of him. He pulls his friend away so that none of you hear him. 

“I have a reason not to like her okay?” Heeseung whispers through his teeth. 

“What reason could you possibly have that justifies how shitty you’ve been?”

Heeseung looks around like he’s afraid someone’s listening in. “Second semester, sophomore year of high school. You and Jake were with me doing homework right outside the front gate. We were waiting for my brother to pick us up from school when Y/N told Kim Chaewon that I would never amount to anything because I didn’t have any talent and had to flirt with girls to get them to listen to my music.”

Sunoo looks at Heeseung like he’s sprouted a second head, who looks at the younger boy like he’s waiting for confirmation or validation of sorts with his eyebrows raised as if expecting a certain outcome. Instead, Sunoo slaps him on the back of his head with his palm and scowls. 

“You are so stupid, Heeseung.”

“What the fuck did I do?!” Heeseung soothes the spot where Sunoo hit him. “It was messed up for her to say that. Why are you calling me stupid?”

“Y/N didn’t say that about you. Chaewon did.” 

Heeseung’s eyes grow comically wide. “I know what I heard.” 

“No, you don’t. I remember the moment you’re talking about. You left so fast and didn’t stop when Jake and I called out for you. Chaewon couldn't get another word out because Y/N tore her a new one. Why do you think they aren’t friends anymore?” 

“Well…Because Y/N said that about me. Chaewon was my friend, too.” 

Sunoo shakes his head. “Chaewon said that about you. Not Y/N.”

“That’s not possible…”

“How would you know? You weren’t there. You left before you could hear the full argument.” 

“Sunoo,” Heeseung says, voice quivering from a mixture of guilt and embarrassment. “Please tell me that’s not true.” 

“Do you know how stupid you look knowing you blew off Y/N, the person who defended you, and still talked to Chaewon?” Sunoo shakes his head at Heeseung. “You ended your longest friendship over a misunderstanding and then got closer with the person who actually said those things about you. Imagine how Y/N must’ve felt.” 

Heeseung’s mind starts to recount the days after your argument with Chaewon and how he’d gone out of his way to ignore you in the aftermath. He never gave you an explanation about his absence and why he pulled away, citing that incident as the reason why you didn’t deserve to know in the first place. He thinks about Chaewon and how he didn’t think twice about it because his mind had already been made up. He was still friends with Chaewon, taking pictures with her at parties and talking to her whenever their friend groups hung out together. Not once did he spare a glance to you. 

As his mind starts to wander into nostalgic territory, Heeseung feels his stomach plummet. The sudden urge to rectify his actions overwhelms him and he’s fighting tooth and nail not to cry on the spot. 

When he looks at you now, quiet and hidden within your shared friends, Heeseung can’t help but feel a bit guilty. He suddenly remembers the few moments where you showed a vulnerable side of yourself and allowed him to see you cry after a bad grade or when your middle school friends were being mean towards you. Heeseung recalls all the times he’s ever thought of you as somebody who puts on a brave face and stands back up after feeling the weight of the world crush you to the ground. He thinks about all of the times he’s ever made you feel insignificant to him and feels pins and needles in his footsteps. Heeseung finds himself walking towards you as he’s contemplating his feelings and Jungwon guards you, pushing you behind him. 

“Hey,” Heeseung says awkwardly. He tries to peek at you but doesn’t like seeing you look so helpless. Pathetically, he offers a meek apology. “Sorry about the snake.” 

“It’s fine. Sorry I grabbed you.” For the first time in a long time, Heeseung doesn’t feel annoyed by the thought of you latching onto him. 

“It’s okay. I, uh…wanted to know if you were fine.” Heeseung clears his throat. “Is there anything I can do?” His unfamiliar kindness confuses you and it confuses Jungwon too.

“You know, maybe it would be a good idea if you left the campsite for a while,” Jake suggests from beside Heeseung. “You’re a bit shaken up and you could probably use a change of scenery.” 

“That’s not a bad idea, actually,” Jungwon agrees. “You could leave for a few hours and come back once you’ve calmed down, Bug.” 

You pick at your fingernails. “I feel so stupid for being so scared.”

“It’s not stupid, Y/N.” Jake tilts his head and looks at you with a pout. “It’s something you’re scared of and with good reason. I would’ve been scared shitless if it was closer to me.”

“You could go into town and get some ice cream,” says Jungwon. “You should go to the beach by the highway for a little bit and get your mind off of it.” 

“I-I don’t really want to go alone.”

Heeseung speaks before he can even think about what he’s saying.

“I’ll go with you.” Jungwon and Jake whip their head to their friend. 

“Heeseung–”

“I can drive us,” he says, mouth moving faster than his brain. “I won’t say anything, I swear. I’ll take her to the beach and ice cream if she wants to.” 

Jungwon hesitantly looks at Heeseung. “Are…Are you sure?” 

“Yeah.” He lies straight through his teeth. He doesn’t know if he can sit with you when his whole life has been turned upside down. But it’s too late to backtrack. “I’ve been feeling a little restless here anyway.” 

“I don’t know…”

“Jay isn’t here and he has his keys.” Jake looks at you and nudges your shoulder. “What do you want to do, Y/N?” 

You look up at Heeseung for the first time and he sucks in a breath. It’s like you’re devoid of yourself, fear and anxiety clouding your eyes like you’re petrified to even speak. He watches you lick your lips slowly as if contemplating carefully. “I want to go.”

“Bug, you don’t have to.”

“I know, Wonnie.” You touch his arm and he relents. “I think I need to leave for a little bit and calm down. I should walk on the beach, or something.”

“I can come with you guys.” Riki, who has been silent during this ordeal, speaks up and appears to the other side of Heeseung. “I saw the beach just before we got here. It looks pretty.” 

“That’s a good idea,” Jake nods, looking at you. He softens his tone. “Would that be alright with you?” 

You hum .”Mhm. Yeah, that’s fine. Let me get my wallet.” 

When you leave for your tent, Jungwon looks at Heeseung and stares at him with an expression he can’t read. The silence is deafening and he awkwardly coughs, looking away from his younger friend. 

“Don’t fuck this up,” says Jungwon with a clipped tone. “You’ve been a dipshit and she’s been putting up with it for the sake of everybody else. The last thing she needs is for you to make fun of her and make her feel even worse than she already does.” 

“I won’t, Jungwon. I swear.” 

“I’m choosing to trust you because you’re my friend too, despite everything you feel towards Y/N.” He nods at Riki. “You, keep an eye out for them.”

“I won’t do or say anything,” Heeseung promises for a second time. You come back a moment later, oblivious to the tension. 

“Be safe, yeah?” Heeseung hears the change in Jungwon’s tone when talking to you. “Call me if you need anything. Your phone’s charged from the portable, right?”

“Yeah.” You hold up your phone to show him. “I’ll let you know when we’re coming back.” 

The beach itself is nestled towards the end of the highway where the sand meets the trees. The small shops around it bring a sense of nostalgia, especially when Heeseung parks in front of a large, tattered orange sign that says “ICE CREAM SOLD HERE.” The three of you walk inside and Heeseung watches you look over the flavors. 

“They change the flavors all the time based on the season,” you say absentmindedly. The three of you are the only customers and he figures the employee must be in the back. 

It’s a bit strange to be spending time with you apart from everybody else. Even though Riki’s accompanying the two of you, he hasn't been alone with you like this in years. You seem to be doing a little better with distance put between you and the campsite. Heeseung hopes the drive wasn’t too terrible. His knuckles turned white with the grip he had on the steering wheel, too afraid to look into the rearview mirror for the fear of catching your eye. He wonders if you’d be able to read his mind in the way you once did. 

You make small talk with the owner of the shop who recognizes you before ordering. Riki and Heeseung follow too, the youngest trying a few flavors before settling on one. You go to pay for your own until Riki pulls out his wallet and pays for the both of you. Heeseung watches the two of you argue before the owner accepts Riki’s card. He’s pulled out of his thoughts before paying for his own cup. 

The beach is right next door and the three of you leave your shoes inside Heeseung’s trunk before stepping onto the warm sand. The sun’s high in the sky and Heeseung’s grateful that he chose to put on extra sunblock before leaving his tent. Riki follows you towards the water. He chooses to stay behind and give you both space even though his heart is telling him not to. 

Heeseung has always believed in telling the truth because it’ll always see the light at the end of the day. He’s a fan of honesty and it’s something he values in all of his friends. He thought he’d found that in you ever since the day the two of you started becoming friends and felt his world shatter around him when he thought you were making fun of his aspirations to become a music producer. You’d spent countless hours in his bedroom with him as he learned how to use proper equipment and went so far as to buy him a few things here and there disguised as birthday and Christmas gifts. You spent so much time listening to him grow as a musician in the comfort of his bedroom. The thought that you were pretending to care about him made Heeseung feel sick to his stomach. It wasn't hard for him to cut you off when he thought you betrayed him.

But now, life feels like it’s at a stand still. You stand before him and Heeseung’s throat closes up like he’s lost the ability to breathe. You might not even know that you’re the reason for his inner turmoil. You probably don’t care. Why would you when he’s pushed you so far from arm’s length? Heeseung sighs to himself and replays every single interaction he’s ever had with you after deciding to cut you out of his life. The guilt piles up on him before he can stop it from stacking until it eventually makes his skin feel like it’s been set on fire. He’ll have to sit with the fact that he’s made you out to be a cruel, terrible friend instead of the person who would defend him to hell and back.

What must you think of him now? For a long time, it took Heeseung great strength to push you into the far corners of his mind and stop seeking you out whenever you were near him. He trained himself to look away from you, the weight of your alleged words playing in the back of his mind whenever he felt the urge to talk to you like old times. Heeseung stopped communicating with you altogether, unfollowing you on all of your social media and physically removing you out of his life so he wouldn’t have to see your face when he least expected it. 

But now it feels like the last six years of his life have been a lie. He’s been living in his own world, wrapped up in a delusion that only he was able to clearly see. The memory was too painful to say out loud let alone tell a soul. Heeseung kept his heart guarded and offered a brief explanation whenever your mutual friends asked why the two of you weren’t close anymore and he’d shut you down if you tried to talk to him until your efforts ceased. 

When he looks at you now, all he feels is regret. 

Riki walks back towards Heeseung, who’s perched on a bench right on the sand. His ice cream is discarded in the nearby trash can and Riki eats whatever’s left in his cup before tossing it away. The two of them sit in silence. Riki basks in the salt air and relishes in the sound of birds chirping and waves crashing onto the shore. Heeseung can only hear his heart beating in his ears. 

“She’s doing okay,” Riki says, breaking the silence. “I think her shock and adrenaline are wearing off.” 

“Good,” Heeseung nods. “That’s really good.” 

“I could tell she wanted to be left alone after a little while. I hope she’ll be fine when we go back.” 

“I’m sure she will be.” 

Riki nods and looks back at you. “Have you ever seen her get like that?” 

“Maybe once or twice. We stopped being close in high school.” 

“Oh, yeah. Right.” 

“But she always bounced back,” Heeseung adds quickly. “Like you said, she’ll be fine.”

“I didn’t even know she was scared of snakes.” 

Heeseung laughs. “Me either.” The silence permeates until Heeseung speaks again. “Can I ask you a question?” 

“Since when have you ever asked me if you could ask me something?” 

“Fair point.” Heeseung rubs his palms against his thighs. “I don’t really know where to start.”

“The beginning is usually the best place.” 

“You know how I feel about Y/N. How I felt about her. I told you so many times to stop expecting people to treat you the way you want to be treated if they didn’t put in the effort to make you feel welcomed.” Heeseung looks at the younger boy. “Why did you keep defending?” 

“Are you asking me because you’re worried about Y/N or because you have some weird thing with her?” 

“I’m asking because I’m starting to think I was wrong about her.” Riki must think Heeseung is telling the truth because he nods after a moment. 

“How much do you know about Y/N’s family life?”

“I know she has a mom and that Jungwon’s parents are like her own. I also know her parents got divorced and that her dad left just before she graduated high school.” 

“Right.” Riki coughs nervously. “How much do you know about our relationship?” 

“You two are half-siblings.” 

“That’s all?” 

Heeseung shrugs. “I never questioned it.” 

“Okay, yeah. That makes sense.” Riki looks down at his lap like he’s trying to figure out what to say. “I don’t really know if this is my place to say it but I want you to know so you can stop thinking Y/N’s the Devil.” 

“I don’t think she’s the Devil.” 

Riki chuckles. “Sure. To put it simply, she's my half-sister because her dad cheated on her mom with mine. He’d go on business trips to Japan a few times a year and they hit it off after they met. One thing led to another and they started meeting up whenever he was back in town. 

“They had me a year after they first started their affair and I guess he was able to keep his life in Japan a secret until Y/N found pictures on her dad’s laptop. She saw pictures of us on vacations when her dad was supposed to be on work trips. I think she told her mom about it and that’s around the time I found out he had another family too.” 

“What was going through your head back then?” 

“Well, my mom told me my dad had to live in Korea for work. I believed it until I was seven, maybe? I’d always ask her questions as I got older but she either brushed me off or told me things that didn’t add up. He’d come more frequently the older I got. We didn’t talk on the phone much when he was over in Korea, though, so seeing him in person used to be extra special. 

“Then I found out that he had an affair because he came to live with us full time when I was twelve. My mom told me everything when he moved in and I felt like my entire life was a lie. I couldn’t look at either of them the same.” 

“Wow…I can’t imagine going through that.” Heeseung’s words hang in the air. 

“Yeah. It was hard. I hated Y/N for a while. I hated that she got to see my dad more than I did when I found out. My friends used to make fun of me because he wasn’t around for my dance competitions and showcases. I always defended him and said he was working in Korea to make a better life for us. It’s what I believed at the time.” 

“And your mom let you believe all of that?”

Riki shrugs. “I guess so. She hated Y/N and her mom. She always talked down on them when my dad moved in and I felt that my anger was justified too. My mom hated the fact that my dad still wanted to keep Y/N in his life and wouldn’t fully abandon her the way he did hid with his ex-wife. Some of his paycheck would go towards Y/N’s college fund and my mom tried everything in her power to stop him from giving her money but he gave her an ultimatum, so she stopped complaining. 

“He took me to Korea once. I was fourteen, I think. I met my dad’s parents and we stayed with them for a while. I don’t know why he took me there since I could barely speak the language but he said he wanted me to get to know where he grew up and integrate myself in the culture since he was trying to be a present father. That was the first time I met Y/N. I had my mind made up and decided I hated her the first time I saw her. She couldn’t have been older than seventeen. I hated that she looked just like me. 

“When we met for the first time, we didn’t really get along. Both of us didn’t talk and our dad tried so hard to form a bond between us but it didn’t work. I didn’t want anything to do with her because all I could think about was how she got to spend so much time with him while I only got to see him for a week or so a few times a year.” 

“What made you change your mind?” Heeseung asks. 

“When we got back to Japan, my mom kept saying all of these mean things about Y/N and her family,” Riki continues. “I wasn’t her biggest fan but the stuff she was saying was cruel and untrue. I knew it was pure jealousy and realized that my mom helped break up a perfectly good family. I mean, I knew it was my dad’s fault for cheating on his wife and leaving Y/N also, but coming to that realization made me think about how Y/N must’ve felt when she found out.”

“Wow…I didn’t know any of this.”

“As far as I can tell, Jungwon’s the only person she’s told.” Riki sighs and pushes his fingers through his hair. “Anyway, at that point, neither one of us cared to keep the relationship going. I didn’t call her and she didn’t call me. But the more my parents started living their lives like they hadn’t made two people fall apart, the more I started to feel sorry for Y/N. I can’t imagine finding out your dad cheated on your mom and then willingly left you for another family. Our dad brought me back to Korea a few times after that for winter and summer breaks to stay with his parents. He said he wanted me to experience life abroad. He’d bring me to family events and I always felt so out of place.”

“Wait, seriously?” Heeseung asks in disbelief. 

“Yeah, if you can believe it. I felt so guilty coming to these things. It was actually Y/N’s mom who told her to start being more open to me. I can’t explain how awful I felt when I realized she was making an effort to include me even though I was someone from her ex-husband’s affair. When my dad was trying to get back in everyone’s good graces, Y/N’s mom was making sure I had enough food and water.

“I slowly started to realize that Y/N was hurting too. She had everything I wanted but it felt like I was the one who took that away from her. I thought, maybe if my mom wasn’t pregnant with me, her dad would’ve never continued the affair and she would’ve never found out he cheated.”

“That’s why you defend her, isn’t it? Even when I thought she was being unfair?” 

Riki laughs. “Yeah, man. I’ve known about her longer than she’s known me and I’ve known about the affair longer than she has. I’ve had more time to get used to it. I don’t blame her for pushing me away. If I found out I had a half-sibling because my dad cheated on my mom, I think I’d react the same way.” Heeseung’s heart feels much heavier than it did prior to this conversation. “We’ve been getting better. She texts me first every now and then and she keeps up with my dancing stuff. It’s not like we’re total strangers anymore. I mean, she likes me enough to let me be friends with you guys. It’ll just take some time.”

“Do you want her to be in your life? And do you want to be in hers?” 

Heeseung watches Riki nod without a second doubt. “Absolutely. I love Y/N now. She’s my sister even if she only thinks of me as her half-brother. I know we’ve had it rough in the past but she looks out for me. Y/N’s smart and confident in all the ways I wish I could be. I love listening to her talk and I love learning new things about her. I always wished for a sibling and even though this isn’t how I imagined it going, I’m happy.” 

The two of them sit in another round of silence. Heeseung does his best to process everything Riki has just told him but it feels like there’s too much information for him to digest all at once. He never knew any of this about you, too caught up in his own feelings about the misunderstanding. While he was giving you the cold shoulder, you were crumbling apart because your dad left for another family. If he knew any of this back then, Heeseung thinks he would be sympathetic. But he can’t turn back the clock. He watches you stand by the water with your empty ice cream up in your hands and wonders what you’re thinking about. 

“Wait,” Heeseung says, cutting the silence for the umpteenth time. “You’re from Okayama.” Riki nods. “You’ve lived in Okayama until you moved here.” 

“Yeah, that’s right.” 

“And Y/N’s moving to Okayama for work.” Riki nods solemnly. “You’re telling me Y/N’s moving to the city your dad moved to when he left her?” The younger boy nods again. “Shit.”

“With everything going on in her life, I don’t expect her to have it all figured out. Sure, it hurt when she didn’t want to spend time with me but I don’t think I can really be mad at her when this is how her life is. Okayama is a big city but the world is pretty small.”

“That’s fucked up. That’s really, really fucked up.” 

“I’m pretty sure she’s scared about running into our dad. Lord knows I came to study in Korea because I didn’t want to be around him anymore,” Riki scoffs. “I know that I have my own shit to deal with and that I’ll probably need to find a therapist when I start school but for now, I’ll focus on Y/N. I’m happy she let me come on this trip because I know how much camping with Jungwon means to her. I can somewhat empathize with her about moving to a place that didn’t feel like home because of your dad.” 

Heeseung looks at Riki and doesn’t expect him to look as tranquil as he does, but he looks at you like you’re the person giving him this grace and maturity. “Fuck, Riki. I’m really sorry that you had to deal with this. Do the other guys besides Jungwon know?”

“Not as much as you do, they just know something happened with my parents and that’s why I don’t want to go back to Okayama. I don’t think Y/N’s told anybody else, so please don’t tell her you know.”

“I won’t,” Heeseung promises. “I swear on it.” 

“Good. I trust you and you’ve been a good friend to me.” 

“Sorry for giving you a hard time about her too.” 

“It’s fine now. Just…promise me you won’t be so harsh on her. She’s been through a lot and I can tell she’s really not happy about the move even though the job opportunity is really good for her career.” 

“Of course.” 

You walk back towards them and the two boys stand up and pretend as if they weren’t speaking in depth about you. Heeseung, for the first time, smiles at you without restraint and it makes you feel confused as you shake off the sand and head back into his car. 

On the entire drive back to the campsite, Heeseung lets Riki control the music and thinks about their previous conversation. He had no idea this is what you were dealing with and always thought you stopped talking to him because you didn’t think it was worth being friends either. He doesn’t remember much about the last few years of high school, apart from avoiding you when you were around, but now he wishes he would’ve paid more attention. Even though what’s past is past, Heeseung wishes he could turn back time and stop himself from making a false assumption. 

He parks the car sooner than he realizes and Riki hands Heeseung back his phone. You step out of the car and look far better than you did before the impromptu trip. Heeseung can’t help but jog after you. 

“Hey,” he calls out. You’re pulled out of your thoughts when you hear his voice and look at him, perplexed. “Are you feeling better now?” 

“Um, yeah.” You look at Heeseung like you don’t know what he wants from you and he’s starting to hate that he’s made you feel this way for so long. 

“Good. That’s good.” Heeseung clears his throat. “I, uh, wanted to apologize for what I said to you last night. That was out of line. I’m really sorry.” The gears turn in your head and he can see you processing his apology slowly. 

“Yeah, well, if you have a problem with me then you should either tell me why or leave me alone.” Your words lack any venom like they did last night but they’re replaced with something more raw and callous. He almost wishes you would yell at him. 

“I know.” He really does. “But I really am sorry. For everything.” Heeseung can’t find the words to elaborate how he feels, not when he sees your shared friends in front of him. 

You look at him and he feels like you might as well be looking into his soul. Without another word, you leave him with his thoughts and rejoin the rest of the group. 

***

It’s nearing the end of the trip and Heeseung feels like he needs to get you alone to apologize for a million things. Guilt courses through his body when he’s awake and it only ceases when he’s asleep. He does his best to keep a straight face when he’s around everybody else and he’s sure they’re all picking up on the fact that he hasn’t been avoiding you like he did when you all first arrived. 

But it’s hard to get you alone. He knows you likely wouldn’t hear him out if he asked you to talk. Even so, he doesn’t know if he knows everything he wants to say. Heeseung is sure everyone else will want to know why he asked to talk to you and make a big deal out of it too, but he can’t say he blames them when he’s the one who has put so much tension between the two of you. Being nicer towards you with intention is not normal for Heeseung. He wishes that weren’t the case. 

It’s a warm day outside and everybody’s agreed to go kayaking in the lake. The water is calm and there are a few families and groups who’ve decided to do the same thing. Everybody fastens life vests and hops into their own kayak before setting out on the water. 

Heeseung wants to enjoy being out on the water but his mind keeps coming back to you. He wonders deeply about the past he shares with you and what would’ve been if he hadn’t made those assumptions all those years ago. He knows he’s always been a bit too prideful for his own good, putting himself above the opinions of others without thinking twice. He’s got tough skin and likes that he’s developed a sense of confidence and identity, especially because he wants to pursue a career in music, but now he wonders if he’s too confident. 

The reason why your words hurt more than he’d care to admit is because he harbored a pathetic crush on you ever since you wrote him a letter for his thirteenth birthday. He’d just gotten the hang of making music on GarageBand and by the time his birthday rolled around, Heeseung wanted to show some of his friends what he’d been learning after school. October came quickly and he invited his closest friends to his house for some cake and to jump in the large bouncy house his parents rented for him. The warm afternoon is forever etched into his memory because everyone Heeseung cared about in his first year being a teenager was there to support the beginning of his music interest. 

Heeseung remembers the gift he unwrapped from you and your parents. It was a CD of his favorite album and one of those plastic statues with an award title etched into the base. It read “BEST MUSIC PRODUCER” on it and Heeseung thought it was the best gift he received that year. What made that warm afternoon even more special was when you pulled him aside to give him a handwritten note. He remembers your shy voice telling him not to open it until everybody was gone and said you wanted to give the letter to him in private when nobody else was looking because your parents didn’t know you’d done this. He kept that card on his desk until everybody left, promising to read it as soon as he was alone. 

You wrote to his yearning heart, the side of him that wanted to make music so badly that he’d sit in his room until the late hour with a lamp shining over his desk to write songs until his hand hurt from holding his pen. Heeseung would hunch over his desk during school and scribble down lyrics in the margins of his assignments. It always felt like he was the only person who felt this way most times and felt like his peers couldn’t understand why he loved making music so much. Reading your letter made Heeseung feel less alone, as if you were always watching over him and seeing his passion when he thought nobody else could. 

That note alone solidified his blooming crush and suddenly, every love song he wrote was dedicated to you. Details about you were weaved into his songs–the sound you made when you laughed, the stickers you used to collect, and the number on your childhood home–it all became important to him. It was almost like Heeseung could talk to you through his music without saying a single word. He could let his songs do the talking for him. 

Of course, thinking you were the one who said he didn’t have any real talent made his hopes and dreams shatter into a million pieces. He always felt like your champion and that pursuing his passion wasn’t so scary if he had you by his side. The world felt like it was crashing all around him to the point where he considered giving up on making music altogether. For that, he would never forgive you. But it’s different now. Heeseung knows you’re not to blame. The culpability doesn’t lie on your shoulders, even if that’s what Heeseung thought for all these years. 

Heeseung roams around the lake in silence, letting the birds chirp uninterrupted. The sound of his boat sailing against the water beneath him does something to soothe his aching heart for the time being. He sees you not too far ahead with Sunghoon a bit behind you when he sees you reach for the paddle that fell from your grip. His heart stops when your kayak tips over when you've reached too far. 

He wastes no time and rows his boat with all his might after hearing your yelp. His arms burn as he pushes through the water but before he can get any closer to you, Sunghoon has jumped out of his kayak to help you back to the surface. He’s able to drag you to the shore nearby and takes off your life jacket when the two of you are sitting on the edge of dry land. Heeseung manages to haul your kayak and paddle while Jay, who also saw the incident, grabs Sunghoon’s. The two of them wordlessly make their way to you and Sunghoon.

Heeseung sees and hears you coughing but he’s also aware of the fact that you’re situated between Sunghoon’s arms. He’s got you securely wrapped between him as you regain your breath. It’s selfish to even consider the idea that he might be jealous but he can’t help it, especially since you’re gripping onto his arms like he’s your lifeline. 

“Shit, Y/N,” Jay says as he takes his life jacket off. Heeseung does the same and parks his boat to get out of the water. “Are you okay?”

“Mhm,” you mutter, catching your breath from the water that’s still lodged in your throat. “Jesus, I didn’t think that would happen.”

“You gave me a heart attack.” Sunhoon laughs from behind you but doesn’t push you away just yet. Heeseung watches you.

“I got your boat and paddle,” he says pathetically, feeling awkward when the three of you look at him. “I’m glad you’re okay.” 

“Thanks.” You cough when you speak and Sunghoon rubs your back gently. “Why does this shit keep happening to me?” 

“Maybe Heeseung’s bad luck,” Sunghoon snickers. There’s no real animosity in his tone but Heeseung feels upset nonetheless. 

“Sorry,” he finds himself apologizing. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” you tell him, leaning back against Sunghoon as you catch your breath. “I think that’s enough kayaking for today, though.”

Jay laughs. “Yeah, you can say that again. I’m getting hungry anyway. Sunoo and Riki are probably complaining about that too.” 

At dinner, the eight of you sit around the fire as Jay, with the help of Riki and Sunoo, prepare and serve the food. The warm food satisfies everyone and everybody takes turns swapping stories about kayaking, and everybody laughs when Sunghoon recounts the story of you tipping over your boat. Riki keeps your plate full and tries to give you more meat but you shake your head. He pouts and you eventually relent, and that makes Heeseung smile.

He can feel Jungwon looking at him. The younger boy sits next to Heeseung and looks at him every so often, especially when you start talking or when the topic of discussion falls onto you. He ignores it to the best of his ability because he’s sure his friend has picked up on the fact that he’s not acting like he’s not interested anymore. When Jungwon pulls him aside when everybody leaves to get ready for bed, he isn’t surprised. 

“What’s up with you?” Jungwon asks quizzically. “Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean either, Heeseung. You were acting weird at dinner.” 

“To make a long story short, the reason why I didn’t like Y/N all this time was because I thought she was the one who said I would never make it in music. Sunoo told me it was Chaewon, not Y/N.” 

Jungwon’s eyes open comically. “That’s the reason you didn’t like Y/N?!” Heeseung smacks his shoulder and shushes him. “You know if you just, like, told any of us why you were so mad at her, we could’ve solved this and you wouldn’t have lost a friend.” Ouch. 

“Yeah,” Heeseung replies, looking at the ground below him, “I know. I feel like an idiot and I feel guilty. I want to make it right with her but I’ve acted like such an ass. I told myself it was for the better.”

“You really were an ass,” Jungwon agrees. “Did you know she almost pulled out of this trip when she found out you were going?”

Heeseung’s shoulders slump. “I fucked up, Won. You’re her best friend and I put you in an uncomfortable position too. I’m sorry. I want to make things right but we haven’t had a real conversation in years.” 

“You’re going to have to do a lot more than apologize.” Jungwon sighs and beckons Heeseung to sit down on a log next to him. “She doesn’t hate you, Heeseung. Y/N’s sensitive, you know? She’s sensitive in the way that she feels things pretty deeply and doesn’t push things aside anymore. Back in high school, she went through something pretty life changing that forced her to shut down and all she wanted was to reach out to you but you iced her out.” 

“I feel awful. She has every right to hate me.”

“That’s the thing, Heeseung. Y/N doesn’t hate you. She doesn’t understand what she did that made you pull away and she’s hurt that you won’t talk to her about it. She’s done all she can trying to get through to you but she’s given up because that didn’t seem like it was going anywhere.”

“Can I ask you something?” Jungwon nods. “If…If I talked to her, apologized and tried to tell her what was going on at the time, do you think she’d forgive me?” 

Heeseung waits for his friend to answer. “I think she would appreciate that you put in the effort to be there for her. She still cares about you even if she says she doesn’t.”

“I don’t know about that.” 

“I do. I’m her best friend, Heeseung.” The elder nods. “What I’m saying is this: All Y/N has ever wanted was for you to make an effort for her. When you stopped being her friend, she wondered for months if she was a bad person because you didn’t talk to her about why you pulled away so suddenly. Apologizing doesn’t mean the two of you will go back to the way you used to, but she’ll appreciate that over distancing yourself because you feel guilty.” 

That last part hurts to hear but he understands. “Do you think Y/N and I could ever be friends?” 

Jungown nods. “Yeah, actually. I can tell that you’re being upfront with me right now. You know how she is. She values honesty and loyalty. Of everyone in our friend group, Y/N is the one who’s really good at communicating and giving advice about that kind of stuff. She doesn’t need you to go above and beyond for her. It might take time but I know she’d appreciate it if you at least made an effort to talk to her and clear up some stuff.” 

Heeseung is lost in thought and barely hears Jungwon tell him he’ll try his best to let the two of you talk tomorrow night after dinner. He doesn’t know how to thank him other than to pull him into a tight embrace and cling onto the younger boy like he’s got something to lose. Jungwon seems to understand where Heeseung is coming from–he, too, has had his fair share of arguments with you–so he hugs him back as if to say everything will be alright. 

When you wake up the next morning, a weird feeling settles in your chest. Jungwon is fast asleep when you leave the tent to get ready for the day after failing to fall asleep. The sun is already up and you don’t know what time it is, but the morning is cold and the sweater you have on protects you from the chill nicely. 

You see Heeseung at the wash station and grip your toiletry bag when he spots you. Awkwardly, you step into the bath house and turn the faucet on as he brushes his teeth, motioning yourself to do the same thing. He watches you from the mirror as you keep your eyeline straight in front of you. He wants to say something to you, perhaps “good morning” or “how did you sleep?” but nothing seems good enough. You, on the other hand, feel like Heeseung may as well put you under a microscope. 

“Can I help you?” 

He looks at you as if he’s been caught with his hand down the cookie jar. “N-No. Sorry.” You sigh and resume brushing your teeth when he spits and rinses his mouth of the toothpaste. “I mean what I said I was sorry. I really am.”

“For which part? Cussing me out or avoiding me since high school?” You sound tired. 

“All of it,” he says quietly. You keep your head straight while he looks at you. “I have no excuse. I’ve been acting like a dick towards you and I feel awful.” You don’t say anything. “I…I thought you were the one who said I wouldn’t make it as a producer. I didn’t know it was Chaewon who said it and that you were the one who defended me. I was stupid and angry, and I took it out on you without knowing the whole truth. 

“I didn’t find out until Sunoo told me yesterday. I didn’t talk about that with anyone since we were friends, you know? I was so hurt but I didn’t know that it was my fault for making myself feel like that…And in turn, I made you feel like you didn’t have a place in my life. I’m so, so sorry that I treated you like you didn’t mean anything to me when you did.” 

You don’t look at him as you finish your morning routine. He stands there awkwardly, waiting for you to say something. 

“I went through a lot of shit back then,” you say, turning to face him. “My dad left just after you stopped talking to me and all I wanted to do was talk to you about it. You always knew what to say to make me feel better but then you started ignoring me like I never mattered to you. Do you know how badly that hurt to have one of my best friends stop giving a shit about me? 

“I watched you hang out with our mutual friends. I watched you do really cool things with music but I did all of that on the sidelines because you never included me, even though I was the only person who really supported you., I don’t think you really get that there were so many people back then who just wanted to be your friend because a few of your songs blew up on the internet. I watched you keep them close while you pushed me aside without giving me the chance to make up for whatever I did to make you upset. 

“I’ve spent the last few years trying to be okay with the fact that you didn’t want to be friends anymore. I tried so hard to accept that you and I would only be people who saw each other in passing. But that hurt. It hurt so much to think you didn’t care about me for one second and didn’t care that I was upset too.” 

Your confession hangs in the air and Heeseung feels like crying when he sees that you’ve started to tear up. You wipe them away aggressively, too embarrassed to be seen weeping in front of him. 

“I’m sorry.” Heeseung’s voice cracks. “I am, Y/N. You were so good to me and I took that for granted.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” 

“I can’t make excuses for myself back then but I want you to know I own up to everything. I’m sorry that I let you feel like that and wasn’t mature enough to talk to you. I know I’m too late, but you deserve an apology. You deserve more than that.” 

Heeseung thinks you’re going to storm past him like he did a few nights prior. He thinks you might spit in his face and tell him to go to hell. But all you do is stare at him in silence. 

“I’ve wanted to hear you say that for a long time,” you tell him. “So thanks for that. I feel beyond hurt by everything you did and everything you’ve ever said since we stopped being friends. All I have ever wanted was to be in the same room and not worry about if you wanted me there or not. This entire trip has felt like walking on eggshells around you.” He lets you step around him and out of the bath house. 

“I don’t hate you either, Heeseung. I know you probably think that I do but I don't.” 

***

The rest of your friends can tell something’s going on between the two of you but choose not to comment on it. Everybody is off doing their own thing, as today is the last day of camping, and nobody wants to accidentally spoil it. You and Jungwon decide to head over to your “secret spot,” just the two of you, for old time’s sake.

“I’ll miss you when I leave Korea,” you say as the two of you sit on the ground. “I don’t know how I’m gonna do any of this without you, Wonnie.”

“I know you’re scared of the future and about your dad asking to see you, but you’ve got to know that you’re stronger than any of us. You’re like, a superhero, or something.” 

“Now you’re just being corny.” 

Jungwon laughs. “Yeah, maybe I am. But seriously, Y/N, I’ve always liked that you were able to find some of your optimism again. You make me feel like things will get better for me too. I can’t sit here and pretend I know what you’re going through, but I’ll always be here for you. My parents will too.”

“I still remember the look on their faces when my mom broke the news,” you snort. “They looked like they were ready to go to prison for murder.” 

“I’ve never seen them so angry. I felt like castrating your dad.” 

“Didn’t we all?” 

“But at least we got Riki out of it.” You smile fondly. Jungwon wants to tell you he’s proud of how far you’ve come, but decides to keep that to himself for now.

“I love him, you know. Even if I don’t really say it. I think it was hard for me to be able to say I loved him without feeling guilty. I thought I was betraying my mom if I gave Riki a chance and seeing her step up to be a parental figure when my dad was too busy mingling with our side of the family was hard. We’ve never talked about it but I know she doesn’t hate Riki. She wouldn’t have forced me to spend time with him if she did.

“He’s such a bright kid and he’s so talented. It makes me happy when people recognize that too. He taught me a lot about prioritizing my feelings. Learning to re-evaluate my life when Riki showed up made me feel, I don’t know, more mature? Like, I can be upset and still care about people because we all make mistakes and none of us asked to be here.” 

Jungwon lets a beat of silence pass before speaking. “Did Heeseung talk to you?”

“This morning. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I saw him acting a bit different at the bonfire last night and asked him if anything happened. He told me why he was so mad at you for so long and said he wanted to apologize.”

“Men are so fucking stupid,” you sigh, bringing your knees to your chest. “I don’t understand why he didn’t talk to me in the first place.”

“Me either, honestly. But at least he’s making an effort. Isn’t that what you said you wanted?” 

You nod. “Yeah. Feelings are complicated. I’ve been angry for so long. I always thought I’d yell at him and give him a piece of my mind, or something. I thought I would hate him and tell him to forget about me. But when he apologized, he said it in a way that made me believe he meant it. It didn’t feel like he was bullshitting me. I felt stuck.” 

“What did you end up saying?” 

“I told him how hurt I was during that time and said I wished he was there for me like I was for him when I was dealing with my dad. I told him how I wished we could’ve talked it out.” 

“That’s a good start.” 

“I don’t think we’ll ever go back to the way we were but I also know Heeseung. I know it took a lot out of him to set aside his pride and put somebody else first. I don’t really know what I’m gonna do now. All I know is I’m tired of being upset and I want to feel okay.”

Jungwon nudges your shoulder with his. “You’ll be just fine. The universe moves for you, Y/N. There’s no way you won’t have a happy ending.” He watches you hide a smile. 

“You are such a sap.” 

“It’s what you love about me.” 

“Unfortunately.” You’ll really miss him. “I gotta take it one day at a time, right? Heeseung is going to be in my life for a long time since we share so many friends. Riki loves him too, and I guess I can’t hate Heeseung too much for looking out for him. I don’t think I have any room to think about it when I get back because I’ll be doing some last minute packing and getting ready to move.” 

“It’ll be over before you know it. But even then, you’re going to have the best time in Okayama. Fuck your dad and all of the bad shit.”

“Yeah,” you laugh. “Fuck my dad.” 

The end of the trip is bittersweet. You start to tear up when you see the campsite completely empty and move slowly to pack everything in the cars. Heeseung notices but doesn’t say anything, offering to grab whatever’s in your hands when he sees you looking out into the clearing for extended periods of time. He doesn’t pretend to know what you’re feeling but he knows he doesn’t like it when you cry.

He watches you get into Jay’s car and wishes that you could be comfortable sitting alone with him. While Jake mans the aux, Heeseung thinks about what might happen when you move away. Will the two of you remain how you are or will you grow apart? Is there any room for him in your life now that you’re off to explore a different part of the world? Will he ever be able to push past the gnawing feeling of pushing his pathetic crush on you down until he no longer thinks of you like that?

He’s never admitted it, but those feelings he had towards you all those years ago never really went away. Heeseung doubled down on his irritation because doing otherwise would allow all of those romantic feelings to overwhelm him. He kept his head down around you because he knew one look at you would be enough to throw his inhibitions away and he was afraid he would risk everything he’s ever wanted just for you to tell him you love him too. Now that he knows everything was a misunderstanding, the grave loss weighs on him. He’s got a million thoughts running through his mind and none of them seem to make any sense. These romantic feelings didn’t lie dormant for all of these years, right? 

The next week and a half feels like it passes by too quickly for the both of you. You finish packing the morning of your going away party that everyone helped set up and plan. Your mom, along with Jungwon’s parents, all of your friends and their parents, and Maeumi, presentes you with the kind of happiness you never want to forget. Even Heeseung, who shows up and gives you a letter when no one else is looking, makes you feel like you would be dearly missed. You’re not sure that you enjoy being the center of attention, but everybody’s kindness makes you feel like you deserve to be. 

It’s late when they leave and socializing makes you feel far more exhausted than you anticipated. Your flight is midday tomorrow but you try not to think about that. Heeseung’s letter sits on the edge of your bed and the green envelope–your favorite color–stares at you like it’s begging you to open it. And open it you do. 

Y/N–

I don’t know where to start. I’m sorry, first of all, for treating you the way I did. I was a sorry excuse for a friend. I should’ve talked to you instead of jumping to conclusions and it doesn’t matter that we were both young. Friends annoy each other but they don’t disrespect one another. I’m so sorry that I made you doubt yourself. 

I’ll miss you a lot when you’re in Japan. We didn’t get the chance to talk it out and I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me after you leave. You deserve people who will be there for you. But please know I’ll always be rooting for you. 

Lastly…I don’t know if this is my place to say this but here goes nothing. Back when we were close, the one thing I loved about you was how passionate you were about life. You loved to learn and explore new things, and you always made me feel like I could feel that way too. I know you’re scared about Okayama for a number of reasons but you’re the strongest person I know. You’ll be just fine, even if you don’t feel like you will be. I’ll be here for you whenever you need me. I mean it.

- Heeseung

For the first time in a while, you allow yourself to cry over Lee Heeseung and surprise yourself when you realize that you want him back. 

***

At the airport, your mom helps you check in your luggage and asks if you’ve got everything you need and makes you double check everything. It’s reminiscent of the way you did with Riki before the camping trip. You’re happy despite feeling a bit annoyed that she’s making you take off your backpack. You don’t totally mind it, though. She gives you a hug that feels like it could last a lifetime and letting her go is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. 

Everybody else gives you love, too. Sunoo is the first to hug you and makes you promise to bring him back some skincare and souvenirs the next time you’re able to get back to Korea. Jake embraces you next and gives you some words of encouragement while Jay does his best to pretend like he isn’t sad by complaining about how there will be one less cook in the kitchen. You throw your arms around him anyway and pretend not to hear him sniffle. Sunghoon traps you in a bear hug and makes you promise to take as many photos as possible and says he’ll look forward to seeing them. He, too, pretends like he’s not about to cry. You push your head onto his shoulder and give his hand a squeeze before he lets a few teardrops fall. 

Jungwon is the most emotional of them all. He wipes away his free falling tears and crushes you in a hug, burying his head in your neck. “You better come back, asshole. I can’t believe you’re gonna leave me to chase your dreams. That’s so selfish of you.” You think you might cry too but laugh anyway. 

“I love you so much, Wonnie.” He squeezes you like he’s afraid he’ll forget what it feels like to be in your embrace until Jake pries him off of your body. 

Riki stands awkwardly with his eyes to the floor and his hands in front of him. The taller boy feels as though his shoes are glued down but you see the way his gaze flickers as if he’s trying to figure out what to do next. It doesn’t take much out of you to throw your arms around him and push yourself into his chest. 

“I’m going to miss you a lot, Riki,” you tell him.

“Really?” You nod. 

“I know I haven’t been the best towards you but you need to know that I’m so proud of you, okay? I loved getting to know you. I loved that you came on the trip and I’m so fucking happy that you’re my brother. Out of everybody who could’ve popped into my life, I’m so glad it was you.” 

Everybody watches Riki melt in front of them as he envelopes you right into him. You feel the weight of his shoulders relax and for the first time, you feel like you’re starting to wonder if this is what it feels like to have everything figured out. 

“I’ll come visit you,” he promises. “I’ll come home for winter break.”

“Stay with me. We can do all of the corny shit siblings do. I’ll even pay for everything.” 

Riki laughs but doesn’t let you go. “You’re the best, you know that? Even though it took you some time, I always thought of you like my sister. I’m really happy to be around you.” 

The waterworks begin and Riki does his best to comfort you when he feels tears on his shirt. He feels somewhere in between empty and fulfilled knowing the two of you have made amends, but knowing you want to work towards the future is enough to make him confident that everything will be alright. He lets you go when he feels your arms loosen around him and aggressively wipes his own tears away. 

When you look at Heeseung, the last thing he expects you to do is acknowledge him. He came to the airport because he wants you to know he meant everything in the letter he wrote. He stayed up all night to check for your texts but you hadn’t said anything, and while he knew it was an emotional day for you because of all you were dealing with, a selfish part of him wanted to know what you thought about it. 

You surprise Heeseung and yourself by engulfing him in a hug. The familiarity of his embrace makes you feel nostalgic and you can’t help but cry right into his chest. Heeseung doesn’t hesitate and brings his arms to wrap around your fragile body as you silently weep against him. He holds you tight and gently rocks your body like he used to all those years ago. You don’t fight back either. Instead, you push your head deeper into him and hold him until your tears have stopped. 

“I read your letter,” you say quietly. “We have a lot to talk about but I appreciate everything you said, Heeseung. I tried to hate you but I could never bring myself to feel that way about you.”

“I’m really going to miss you. Can I be selfish?” Heeseung asks with a sob in his throat. “I wish I apologized sooner and I wish we had more time. But please, promise me that you’re going to try to have fun in Japan, okay? You’re the best person I know, even if I didn’t make you feel like it. I’ll always live with that regret but knowing you’ll forget about me and make a life for yourself is enough.”

“I could never truly forget about you, Hee.” That nickname you used to call him makes Heeseung’s heart beat faster. “I don’t want you out of my life. All these years I felt like that’s what I wanted but I don’t want that now. Be happy without me too, okay? Forget about me and follow that dream of yours.” 

Heeseung laughs sadly. “I don’t think I could ever forget about you.” You step away from him and wipe your eyes for the umteenth time. 

“Write a song for me, then. And don’t be a stranger, okay?” 

“Okay.” Heeseung swears on it. “I won’t.” 

A beat of silence passes before all seven of your friends push you into the middle of their group hug. It brings another round of tears to your eyes and Jungwon’s the one who lets you cry into him until your mom tells you it’s time to start boarding. Everybody gets one final goodbye before you disappear into the plane. 

You smile at your phone when you settle into your seat. 

lee heeseung: I miss you already 

You miss him too.

***

Okayama is a dream until it isn’t. You settled into your apartment and had one month before you started your job and went to all the places Riki recommended. You started to understand him a little better after moving and both of you find it hilarious that you two ended up living in each others’ hometowns. You can’t choose your siblings but you’d choose Riki in every lifetime. 

You call your mom every so often and update her on life. Your friends keep you in the loop and FaceTime you when they’re out together. It makes you feel like you’re back in Korea and while it isn’t the same, you appreciate the effort anyway. You’ve made friends with your neighbors and a few girls you met when you went out drinking with your cousin the week you moved and it made braving a whole new country feel less daunting. Jungwon calls you everyday and you tease him for being such a clingy friend, but you both know you love it. You inform him about everything from the boring details to juicy work drama, and it feels like you’re sitting in his bedroom wearing face masks and eating junk food. 

Heeseung has been a constant fixture in your life, too. You texted him the moment you landed and he kept the conversation going. You talk about everything, the past especially, and start to feel like things might be okay. Those butterflies that you had for him in high school made an appearance after three months in Japan and part of you wondered if you were a fool for bringing him back into your life after everything. All of your friends back in Korea tell you Heeseung is miserable without you and when they tease him in the big group chat, he doesn’t deny it.

The friends you made seemed divided–one half thought you should leave him in the dark while the other half swooned over his dedication to making things right. You don’t really know what to think or how to feel, but you know you’re happy. Between phone calls and late night texts, you were always left with a smile on your face before bed.

Riki came back to Okayama for winter break and spent two weeks in your apartment. When the two of you weren’t bickering as siblings do, you both stayed up way too late watching anime and watched him dance at his home studio. Riki even got you to attend a few classes (he tried not to laugh at your poor coordination skills but appreciated the effort anyway). You prefer to be in the audience. 

Life seemed great until your dad made an appearance just before Christmas. He knew you were here from a single text message he never responded to before you moved to Okayama. The weight of his silence prepared you to be in Japan without him but his sudden appearance made you feel like everything changed for the worse. Riki went back to his childhood home to see his family and asked you to come with him after your dad had forced him. Your brother knows the intricate dynamic and you don’t blame him for anything. Seeing your dad with his new family after sparse texts since he left felt like a punch in the gut. It soured your holidays and Riki spent the rest of his trip apologizing even though you told him there was no reason for him to be sorry. You dropped him off at the airport and told him you’d see him in the summertime. 

The holidays came and went but the feelings you’ve carried since then haven’t disappeared, which brings you to the present. Heeseung is standing in the doorway of your apartment in Okayama, looking at you with those big, round doe eyes you always loved. 

“Hi,” he says breathlessly. 

“Heeseung…What are you doing here?” He scratches the back of his neck. 

“You’ve been going through a lot, you know? Every time we talked on the phone, you sounded like you were a thousand miles away and it killed me to know I couldn’t do anything to make you feel better after the holidays with your dad. Jungwon and I have been talking about how much of an ass he is and how much we wish we could be here for you and the next thing I knew, he was encouraging me to buy the next flight out to see you,” Heeseung says in a single breath. “But honestly? I just really, really fucking missed you.”

“You flew all this way here? For me?”

“Yeah.” Heeseung says it like it’s a no-brainer. “Although, now I feel kinda stupid. I realize I’m putting you in a tough spot. But you know what? I think it’s worth it to know that you’re okay.” 

He looks at you but you don’t say anything. Heeseung can see the gears turning inside of your head while you process his arrival. You look so cute in your sleep shorts and oversized shirt. He loves it when you call him via FaceTime because he gets to see all parts of you–getting ready for work and winding down as you are now. It makes him feel like you’re pulling him right back into you. 

You don’t really need to say anything. You lurch yourself onto him and press your lips against his like it’s something you’ve been waiting to do for the longest time. You probably have. Heeseung wraps his arms around you and lets his mouth melt against yours and doesn’t complain about your boldness either. He welcomes it, even. 

“You’re so stupid,” you mutter against him, pulling him into your apartment and locking the door behind you. You kiss him repeatedly and he puts his hands on your waist as if to let you know he’s right there with you. 

“Why am I stupid, baby?” Heeseung’s voice paired with that nickname makes your knees buckle.  

“You can stay with me.” He feels you smile against your lips. “Please just…stay here and don’t go.” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” 

Heeseung drops his backpack onto the floor and lets you capture his mouth again. You taste so fresh with your cherry lip balm. He moans right into your mouth when you push him against your countertop and the feeling of his hands on your body makes you grow hotter as the seconds pass by. The ache between your legs starts to overwhelm you as his plump lips kiss you over and over again before he pushes them against your neck. It’s too much in all of the right ways and you’re too aroused to even think straight. You start to pull yourself away from Heeseung and he’s about to ask if he’s going too fast when you grab your hand and lead him to your bedroom. 

“Y/N, wait,” Heeseung tries to say in between kisses. He loves the feeling of your warm mouth against him and feels himself starting to get worked up but he doesn’t know if you’re thinking straight. Even though the two of you have talked nearly everyday, Heeseung doesn’t know if this is moving too fast. 

“I’m done waiting.” You pull away from him and reach for his hand, pushing his lengthy fingers past your shorts and underwear until he feels the wet slick starting to pool at your folds. Your hand moves his back and forth as he looks at you like you’ve stunned him with a laser gun. Heeseung’s dick jumps in his pants and it takes him a second to move his fingers on his own accord. “I want you, Heeseung. Don’t you want me too?”

His resolve crumbles. Heeseung nods with his mouth parted as he pushes his fingers inside you, your wetness allowing him to reach your depths immediately. You push yourself on your toes and put your hands on his chest, clinging onto him like you’re afraid he’d let you go if you don’t. He thrusts his fingers with intention and hears your quiet whimpers when he leans his head down next to your mouth.

“Yeah,” Heeseung says, lips touching the shell of your ear as his voice ripples through your body. “I want you.”

He pulls his hand away from you and smiles at the short whine from the loss of his touch. Heeseung loves how much you need him and he’s sure you can see how much he needs you too. A surge of confidence jolts within you as Heeseung looks down at your body like he’s ready to eat you alive. You peel off your shirt and shorts, leaving you in your underwear as Heeseung pulls his shirt over his head with a single hand. 

“Lie down,” Heeseung beckons. You do as he says and he sinks down to his knees and pries your legs apart, looking directly at you as he speaks. “Good girl.” He pulls your garments down your legs and the cool air hits your center as Heeseung looks down at you. 

You don’t have time to think about anything when he peppers soft kisses on your skin. His lips journey from the inside of your knee and he presses one small kiss to your slit before repeating the process on your other leg. Heeseung allows himself to get lost in the way your body reacts to his feather-like touches before descending down onto your folds. 

Heeseung’s tongue feels like the closest thing to magic. He takes his time when licking you with his warm and wet muscle, canvassing every ridge with expert movements. You rake your fingers through his hair and tug gently at his soft roots, pulling a moan out of him that delivers a delicious shock up your spine. He puts your feet on his shoulders and plunges his tongue inside of you and grips your flesh with his fingertips until you’re coming undone on his mouth. 

“So fucking good,” he mutters to himself more than he does to you. He laps up your release and you find yourself a bit embarrassed that you were able to come so quickly, but the way he touches you makes it seem as though he already knew how to push your buttons. “You’re so sweet, Y/N. I could eat you all day if you’d let me.” 

Heeseung trails his lips up your stomach and kisses you so tenderly that you feel as though your body must be made out of soft cotton. His lips find your left nipple and lets his tongue swirl over the bud before sucking on it with a gentle motion. He repeats the process on the other nub and flicks it, enjoying the soft sounds that come from you. Heeseung buries himself right into your neck but he doesn’t kiss the skin like you think he will. Instead, he kisses you twice on your open neck before moving his body so that he can look down at you. 

He bites his lip. It makes you feel exposed but somehow, it makes you feel all that more confident. It’s like Heeseung is looking right through you with all of your worries and faults laid out for him to reject. But he doesn’t. Likewise, Heeseung allows you to see him in his vulnerability and he’s ready to pack up his things and leave if you tell him you don’t want this anymore. But you don’t. 

He descends on you once again, this time his lips pushing against you in a slow and sensual kiss. You feel the way he moves against you and savor the sounds your mouths make together. Heeseung brings his hand to brush strands of your hair away from your face as he kisses you and the gentle touch of his fingertips feels like it was always meant to be there. 

“I need you.” Your back arches right into his chest as you speak. “Don’t make me wait, Heeseung. Please, I just…I need you.” 

“I’ll never make you wait. Never again,” he promises. Heeseung manages to rid himself of his pants and boxers and pushes himself between your legs until his dick is situated between your folds. Your arousal, paired with the precum oozing from his slit, provides the perfect balance of wetness that coats the entirety of his cock as he glides himself against you. 

When his tip catches your hole, the sounds of your moans overpowers his refrain. He pushes inside of you slowly inch by inch, savoring the way you feel for the fear that he might never be able to do this again. You look so beautiful underneath him with his dick completely sheathed inside of you and when your legs wrap around his body to encourage him to move, Heeseung doesn’t deny you of your pleasure. 

Neither of you have ever had sex like this–the feeling of pure rawness echoes throughout the room between your breathy moans and the sound of skin pushing against one another. Your body is warm in the way he always imagined and his hands touch every inch of you as if to commit your silhouette to memory. In this moment, Heeseung feels as though the two of you are kindred spirits who found each other.

“You’re so good for me,” Heeseung whispers into your neck as he thrusts into you. “So fucking tight and wet.” He feels your arms wrap around his shoulders to keep him trapped between you but he can’t say he minds all that much. 

“I-I’m so close,” you say in a broken moan. 

“Already, baby?” Heeseung says to tease you as he brings his head up to look down at you again. He pushes his hips against you faster and that surprised gasp you let out makes his balls clench. 

“S-Shut up.” 

Your arms fall to the mattress as you claw at your sheets. Heeseung plans his elbows on either side of your head as he focuses all of his willpower towards fucking you with fast deep strokes, loving the way your mouth parts slightly and how your eyes are closed shut. His muscles flex as he pushes himself until you’re coming with a loud moan, and finds himself releasing inside of you the moment he feels you gushing around him. 

You feel Heeseung press his tender lips against your forehead as you come down from your high while he continues to rock you through your release. Your cheeks are hot from the pleasure and the room is suddenly too warm with Heeseung on top of you. When you open your eyes, he’s looking at you like he’s seen a halo above your head. He can’t really help it. Heeseung leans down to press a soft, gentle kiss against your lips to convey a job well down. 

“I came so fast,” you whisper bashfully. You bite your lip but Heeseung tugs it away from your teeth to kiss you again. 

“Me too.” Heeseung kisses your nose and relishes in the way you scrunch your face. “But it’s okay. You deserve to feel good. I don’t care how long or short it takes.” He places his hand on your face and rubs the apple of your cheek with his thumb. 

“I really missed you.” 

“I missed you too, dummy,” Heeseung says before flicking your nose. He holds your jaw in place before kissing you again. 

“We’re gonna have to do a lot of making up, you know,” you mumble against his lips with a smile. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Mhm.” You push against his lips. Heeseung pushes his half-hard dick inside of you as your back arches right into him. He’s there to catch you this time, his arm supporting your spine underneath you. “Fuck!” 

“My baby,” he whispers into you. “Let me make it up to you.” 

You let him.

***

EPILOGUE: THE FOLLOWING SPRING

“For fuck’s sake, get your big ass head out of the way.”

Jay smacks Jake’s shoulder. “You can see just fine, stupid.” Sunghoon hits both of their shoulders. 

“Both of you, stop moving so much. You guys almost knocked my camera.” They mumble a quick apology before finding another thing to discuss. 

“I feel like I’m surrounded by children.” You sigh as Heeseung wraps his arms around your waist and lets his chin sit atop the crown of your head. He feels your body relax against him and smiles. 

“Well you are, technically. Riki just stopped wearing diapers.” 

“I hate you so much, Heeseung,” the younger boy whines without any true malice. You laugh and squeeze Riki’s hand. He can’t find it in himself to be too mad at either of you. 

“Do you guys see Jungwon and Sunoo?” Sunghoon asks with his camera at the ready. “I want to make sure I take as many pictures as possible.” 

“I don’t think they’re coming out yet,” says Jay. 

“Duh.” Jake provokes him in a way you missed while you were in Okayama. It brings warmth to your heart when you see them bicker. 

Jay turns to you. “Y/N, have you given a second thought about moving in with Jake when you come back? I think you’d be better off if you kicked him to the streets.”

“Hey!” Jake tackles Jay until he’s got his older friend’s neck between his arms. None of you pay too much attention and choose to wait for Jungwon and Sunoo. 

“Our friends are another breed,” Heeseung mumbles against you as he kisses your cheek. “Are you sure you want to move back and be roommates with Jake and Jungwon?” 

“Mhm. I miss you guys so much.” 

“But you miss me the most, right?” 

“Yes, baby.” You bring his hand up to your lips and kiss the back of it. “I missed you the most.” 

“There they are!” Riki shouts. 

Jungwon and Sunoo, clad in their caps and gowns, saunter their way out of the stadium before spotting your group. They make a run for it and push past the onlookers who search for their loved ones as well. Sunoo clings onto Jake while Jungwon finds his perch in Riki’s arms as Sunghoon captures the beautiful moment on his digital camera. 

“We fucking did it!” Jungwon shouts as he pulls away. “Sunoo, we did it!” 

“About damn time,” Sunoo replies as he rolls his eyes with a smile. “I felt like I’d be there forever.” 

“We’re so proud of you both.” Jay smiles and moves to hug each of them. “You guys are amazing, seriously.” 

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me.” Riki bumps hips with Sunoo. “That seems unfair.” 

“Life is unfair.” There’s no real bite to his tone, just a bittersweet future. Sunoo hugs the taller boy. 

“Oh my God,” Jungwon says with his hand pressed to his mouth. “Y/N is crying.” 

“No I’m not,” you say, even though you definitely are. Heeseung squeezes you tighter against him. “Shut up, Jungwon. I’m not crying.” 

“You so are!” Riki shouts. 

“I’m not crying. Seeing my best friends graduate college is not a good reason to cry, okay?!” 

Jungwon and Sunoo sport shit-eating grins. Heeseung lets you go as they engulf you in a hug while the younger of the two feels your hot tears on his cheek. He laughs and this moment starts to feel a bit nostalgic to him, as he acted the same way you did upon seeing you in your cap and gown. 

“Hey,” he says in a softer tone, pulling away from the two of you. “Thanks for being here. I know taking time off was a little hard but we’re so happy you could come.”

“Yeah,” Sunoo agrees. “Talking to you over the phone isn’t enough. We missed you, you know?” 

You tear up again and wipe your nose before falling into them again. “I missed you too.”

“Oh God,” Sunghoon laughs. “If Y/N’s crying then I know we’re in for it.” 

“Hey!” Heeseung jokes, nudging his friend with his shoulder. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that.” Although, he can’t really disagree with Sunghoon. 

“You’re all so stupid for making me cry in public,” you say as you wipe your tears from your eyes. “I’m gonna look back at these pictures and my eyes will be all red and puffy.” 

“I feel like you and Heeseung might as well be our parents,” Sunoo says as Heeseung pulls him into a hug.

“Wait, you guys should totally take a family photo.” Jake steps forward to arrange the four of you like a family portrait with Jungwon and Sunoo between you and Heeseung. “There. Sunghoon, take a picture. This is so going on the fridge when we move in together.” 

Heeseung moves back next to you as the rest of your friends look at the photos on Sunghoon’s camera and take turns taking pictures of him with the graduates. He kisses your cheek and pulls you back into him. 

“You ready to come back to all this chaos?”

“More than ready,” you affirm. “I loved Okayama, even though I had to deal with my dad and all of that stuff. But I missed my life here and the masters program over in Seoul is a good fit for me, you know? Plus, your apartment isn’t too far from mine.” 

“I can’t wait for you to move back.” Heeseung kisses your cheek again. “Your mom and I talked logistics about helping you move into the new apartment. Knowing you, I’m sure you’ll have another suitcase coming back with you.” 

“Shut up.” 

“You know I’m right.” 

You blush and mumble. “Yeah…You’re right.” 

“Your mom and Jungwon’s parents talked about renting a bigger camp space this year, too. I think they’re planning on having one huge trip this year now that most of us have graduated.” 

“I can’t believe our last trip was almost a year ago. That’s insane because it feels like I moved to Japan just yesterday.” 

“I solemnly swear I will never be as stupid or dense as I was back then.” When you turn around to look at Heeseung, you know he’s telling the truth. You don’t answer him verbally and choose to silence him with a pretty kiss. It’s enough for the two of you. 

“Oi, love birds,” Jake calls, looking at you. “We should find their parents. Your mom called me and I think she was crying.” 

You frown. “Why didn’t she call me?”  

“She said you were probably crying too,” Jake snickers. 

“Is it too late to back out of being roommates?” 

“Nope. You’re stuck with me.” 

Heeseung squeezes your hand. 

“And me.” 

As you look around, you can’t help but feel as though this was always how it was meant to be.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

***

comments and reblogs are appreciated! xx

◌ ꙳ 🐣 ° 🧸  ✺ㅤ⁺ ꕊ

‎ ‎ ‎

ʚ₊˚. jungwon twt layouts ꒱

like / reblog ... ♡!~

## enhypen masterlist

S — smut F — fluff A — angst C — crack

OS

› devilish kinktober '21 day 16 [S]

OS

› into it kinktober '21 day 3 [S]

OS

› church kinktober ‘21 day 10 [F,A,S]

TIMESTAMPS

› [06:30 AM] [F & A]

OS

› swim kinktober ‘21 day 4 [S]

nothing to see here ... yet

nothing to see here ... yet

nothing to see here ... yet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

full masterlist

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Today [y.jw x reader] ࿐ྂ

synopsis: you both didn't know that your casual meet up with your best friend would result to this, but could you really blame Jungwon when you seem so different today?

╰┈➤ pairing: yang jungwon x reader

⋆·˚*genre: childhood best friends to maybe more?

˚ ༘⋆warnings: none! (all fluff i swear)

masterlist

How come today you seem like a woman and not my friend? What is this mysterious feeling? Also, were you always this pretty? Especially today

Did Jungwon eat something strange this morning?

No, he fully remembers; all he had was cereal and toast. But why do you look so different today?

Did you try a new hairstyle? No, he definitely has seen you wear the same hairstyle at school before

Were your clothes new? Not that either; he swore he bought that shirt with you

Is it your makeup that's done well?

"Hey! I've been asking you for the 20th time if you want anything." Your voice suddenly snapped him out of his thoughts; he turned to you before smiling

"Oh, I'll just get my usual!" He said, putting his hands in his pockets after realizing you both have been standing in line for who knows how long

"Okay then, you seem... tense. Is something bothering you?" You asked after placing your orders and leading him to your usual spot

"Huh, oh no no, nothing at all! What makes you say that?" He asked nervously as he sat in the booth facing you

Something is definitely bothering Jungwon; he keeps getting this strange feeling ever since he picked you up this morning

The way you called him in the same tone you use every day made his stomach do backflips

But he can't point his finger on what exactly this feeling is

Is he drunk?

"You look like you're deep in thought. Come on, what's wrong?" You said leaning towards your table, showing him a concerned expression

'You're what's wrong. Why do you seem so different today? You don't seem like the little girl who once cried after realizing snakes don't have arms. Are you not my friend? Why do you seem like a woman now?' He thought as you await his answer

"Why are you prettier today?" He blurted out not thinking straight, making you both widen your eyes

"I mean, it's just, you look so different today, that's all! Like, that's not a bad thing! It's just you look like a woman now..." He tried explaining himself, while his ears went completely red, making you let out a giggle

"Of course I'm a woman now; we're both grown up, Jungwon. You got prettier day by day too, you know?" You commented, making him chuckle, hiding his flustered face with both hands.

Why do you look prettier today?

I’m falling for you right now

Why do I see you as a woman today?

I’m slowing falling for you

[author's note: First scenario so far what do we think^^? I was listening to iKON's old songs and honestly they are such great plot ideas! wrote this half asleep as well naurr]

a project and a guitar — yang jungwon.

ꏍ jungwon is just a boy who plays guitar for fun and that can't stop himself from looking at you in class, he never thought of talking to you even if he had the biggest crush in the whole world, but what happens when a project forces him to make a move on you?

pairing. guitar boy!jungwon x f!reader

genre. smau + written chapters, highschool!au, fluff, slight angst, strangers to lovers, kinda slow burn, love triangle (?) but not really.

warning(s). suggestive jokes, swearing. ignore time stamps pls.

feat. ive, itzy, txt.

status. completed!

note. this is my first smau and i'm convinced that i'm not funny so maybe theres not gonna be that much of humor !!

taglist. open! send an ask or comment to be added. @soobnny @yizhoutv @ja4hyvn @heejaies @amakumos @jalnandanz

profiles 1 | profiles 2

ch. 1 "weirdo"

ch. 2 "jungwon simp era ??"

ch. 3 "live love laugh"

ch. 4 "comforting" (wc. 0.7k)

ch. 5 "hellaur baby gorl"

ch. 6 "keep that shit to yourself"

ch. 7 "no more girlbossing"

ch. 8 "L + ratio" (wc. 0.6k)

ch. 9 "spidey sense"

ch. 10 "go for her alpha"

ch. 11 "what the fuck ??" (wc. 0.2k)

ch. 12 "i love myself too"

ch. 13 "i support depression"

ch. 14 "jungwon first win"

ch. 15 "bomb" (wc. 0.2k)

ch. 16 "i'm not playin"

ch. 17 "awkward"

ch. 18 "why me"

ch. 19 "me (an empath)"

ch. 20 "confusing me"

ch. 21 "please"

ch. 22 "his warmth" (wc. 0.7k)

ch. 23 "aint no way"

ch. 24 "holding hands"

ch. 25 "you free tomorrow?"

ch. 26 "and then 1 hour" (wc. 0.4k)

ch. 27 "or never really"

ch. 28 "i forgor"

ch. 29 "we're the best"

ch. 30 "can i kiss you again?" (wc. 2.0k)

ch. 30.5 "her guitar boy"

my secret garden ( ʚɞ ) yang jungwon x fem! reader

. . SYNOPSIS⌇you’ve only seen jungwon from afar, being worlds apart there was no need for a popular and non-popular to interact. when you’re assigned as desk mates for the year what will happen? will you find solace in one another or just tear each other down?

. . GENRE⌇high school au!, strangers to friends to lovers(?), fluff + angst

. . WARNINGS⌇some minor language :p (zoa of weeekly will be used for photo references!!)

. . STATUS⌇currently doing! | start date : 05.18.22

. . UPDATE SCHEDULE⌇every 3 days

. . TAGLIST⌇taglist is open. send an ask or comment to be added!

. . GRAPHIC⌇by @yeowooya

ʚɞ MASTERLIST ! — profiles one. profiles two.

prologue . . . new beginnings!

01 . . . after school shenanigans

02 . . . not the best idea

03 . . . accident central

04 . . . she’s a loser apparently

05 . . . screw you and your friends!

06 . . . confessions and apologies

07 . . . sudden feelings?

08 . . . it isn’t a date

09 . . . he posted what

10 . . . sweet as cake

11 . . . not so secret hangouts

12 . . . totally don’t care

bonus chapter . . . new characters

13 . . . you’re an idiot

14 . . . not used to this

15 . . . ignoring you!

16 . . . what is she even doing here

17 . . . why are you hesitant

shortcut to heaven | yang jungwon x oc

pairings — yang jungwon x reader

genre — fluff, angst, college!au, fake dating trope, drama, occasional smut (minors dni please)

summary —  Two strangers seemingly cross paths, everywhere they go. 

Would they find their heaven among their chaotic lives? 

“ That’s right, I’m talking to you, ” Jungwon, THE Yang Jungwon, with his arm, outstretched, index pointing right at me, “ Do you want to be my girlfriend? Fake girlfriend, that is, so make sure you don't end up falling for me. ” With his right dimple in full view, he smirks at me. 

And that was the day my whole life turned upside down.

warnings — a SOCMED AU but with heavy narrations, fake dating trope with some twist n' turns, compared to my other stuff this one is definitely more on the cute, fluff side hehe so not much warnings in terms of content ! OT7 enha is present, as well as probably other 4th gen idols, will use nwjns minji as the faceclaim for y/n, alcohol, drunken mishaps, profanity, there might be slightly dark themes surrounding family and love, no mnc i assure you, making out, smut etc. will happen so minors 👀 watching you !

[ preview ] | [ 1 ] | [ 2 ]

A/N: wow, updated both my fics on the same day. this is an achievement i think :) anyway, enjoy enjoy ! things are only going to get better (and more complicated and fun) from here. lmk what you think as always please ! your guys' comments keep me inspired to keep writing 🥺 BTW ! taglist is OPEN! for this.

taglist: @jwnghyuns, @sparklingsjy, @y0ubleedjusttoknowyourealive

JIN PANICKING IN 3...2...1...

HELLO ??? ARE YOU STILL THERE ??

NARRATION — READER'S POV

It was as if she couldn't sit still that whole afternoon after Sunghoon asked her out for coffee. It was slowly but surely sinking in that Park Sunghoon himself asked her out to have coffee.

Given, that he didn’t specify what it was for, but who was she to say no to such an offer? Especially after what she saw and how he treated her when she got whacked in the head by the door on the way to the student council room.

It was at that moment that she realized that among that group of people she thought she despised, there were kind souls. 

It was no wonder that Sunghoon won the hearts of the majority of the student body and why he was the president of the student council.

He was just really, well, for the lack of a better word – nice. 

And she’d be lying if she said she didn’t find him attractive. 

Unlike that Jungwon guy. 

But if she were to be truly honest with herself, ever since the small moment they shared back in the janitor’s closet, safe to say, he’s been haunting her. For the past 3 nights, her dreams would always consist of Jungwon making a cameo, one way or another. 

And she was almost sure that she caught him staring at her in class the Monday after that fateful weekend. 

But why? The whole school knows that Jungwon has been actively pursuing Sooyoung since time immemorial, and has been relentless about it. Perhaps that’s what gave Sooyoung that extra edge among all the other girls in school. To think that the most eligible bachelor in the whole university has set his eyes on you, must be nice. 

The familiar ding in her phone makes its presence known and pulls her out of her deep thoughts, and it sends Jinae to rush out of the room, knowing that someone is waiting downstairs in front of her dorm’s building. 

Greeted by the sight of a red, shiny Mercedes-Benz C-class, she tries her hardest not to let her jaw drop to the floor at the sight of it all.

There was Sunghoon, leaning against the hood of his vehicle, phone in hand, silver specs decorating his prominent features, eyebrows thick and furrowed together as he was evidently busy reading something on his phone. 

Upon approaching him, the male looks up at her just in time as if he sensed her presence, features softening at the sight of her. “Hey,” He greets, baring his canine teeth. Wow, it's like he's an actual vampire. “You made it.”

God, should I ask him to bite me?

Shaking off her rather unwanted thoughts, she finally musters out a greeting back, “Hi, sorry, did I take too long?” 

Vehemently shaking his head, Sunghoon walks over to the passenger seat and gestures for her to get in, “Nope, not at all! Thanks for making time for me today.” 

--

The car ride was silent at first, but not to the point that it was unbearable. Jinae wanted to initiate the conversation but admittedly didn’t know how. They were in the middle of the road, stuck in the middle of rush hour traffic, with Sunghoon giving her the chance to play whatever song she wanted after handing her his phone. 

“So,” Finally, Sunghoon broke the silence, “You’re probably wondering why I asked you out huh?” 

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” She replies, rubbing the back of her head, “Um, but it's not that I’m complaining! I’m just.. It was so sudden.” 

He breaks out into a small laugh, his fangs coming into view again and she couldn’t deny the fact that it made her heart skip a beat. After all, even though they’d had limited interactions up until that point, only going as far as a nod or a smile here and there whenever her adviser would ask her to drop off paperwork at the student council office, she never saw Sunghoon smile. 

His aura does a 180 when he smiles, so handsome.

“I know, sorry about that. Actually, I've been wanting to befriend you for so long.” Frank as can be, he wastes no time in getting straight to his point. “I guess you can say, I just really never knew how to approach you.” 

And there goes the thumping in her chest again, “Oh,” She timidly replies, nodding her head. “I see! Actually, apart from two people, I really don't have many friends at school, so, why not! You seem very… nice.” Jinae adds with cheeks dusted a light pink. 

“Nice? Hah, thank you. And I’m happy. Though I must say, I’m surprised, I thought you'd have a ton of friends. You're a dancer, you're smart... Popular with people, from what I heard all around school. What's not to like?” He continues on with his frank remarks. 

“Eh? I think not...” 

“Maybe they’re just intimidated by you.” Sunghoon cuts in, “I know I was.” 

“Huh? Why? Is my face that scary?” The female asks, placing her hands over her cheeks. 

A throaty laugh is heard from Sunghoon’s end, “Nah, it's not like that, it's like – how do I explain this. Your aura? Maybe. Like, you're unreachable, or something.” 

Jinae couldn’t help but laugh, followed by a light slap on the chest, a clear indication that she was comfortable with someone, “Hey! No! Oh my god. I guess I just wanted to keep a low profile in school? I get attached to people so quickly too so, I try not to forge too many friendships. It's scary to me.” 

She didn’t know what came over her, and why it felt so easy to be comfortable enough with Sunghoon for her to divulge such information. 

He nods solemnly, “I understand,” His voice trails off, as he casts a glance over at her. Their eyes met and Jinae could feel some kind of stirring from her insides, “Please don't worry though, my intentions with you are pure. I promise.” 

“I will hold you to that.” Was all she could say, trying to fight the fluttering feelings from within.

CUTE CAFE UPDATES 🫶

LEE HEESEUNG KNOWS WASSUP

🥺🥺🥺 PWETTY

NARRATION — READER'S POV

Suffice it to say, the next day was quite literally the worst in Jinae's young life. For one, she forgot her readings at home, so she wasn't able to participate much during class.

Two, she tripped up the stairs, which caused her to spill her sea salt latte, wasting her hard-earned money. 

Three, and probably the worst of them all, she got laid off from her job as a 7-Eleven clerk that morning via text. 

Groaning in frustration, she found herself lying on the floor of Jake’s apartment unit, staring up at the ceiling while her two best friends stared at her with saddened expressions. 

“Girl, okay, enough, stop moping around!” Sunoo finally exclaims, "That might've been a good thing! You've been late for our 10am class for the past weeks. Besides, you have another job anyway, right? In our school's admin office?"

Laying on her side and not minding the fact that she was literally laying on a hardwood floor, “That's not enough for my everyday expenses, Sun.” She whines out, pushing her lower lip out, busying herself by giving Jake's dog Layla a few pats on the head, "And I don't want to burden my parents for any of my expenses."  

“Babygirl,” Jake's soft tone makes itself known, walking over to her and crouching down on the floor to rub her back, “You’ll find something else to do, I swear. But for now, Sunoo and I are here to help you.. with anything. Even your finances.” 

“True.. OMG! What if– you just find yourself a sugar daddy!?” Sunoo suggests, eyes bright as he does, as if that was the most groundbreaking idea ever. 

She reaches for the throw pillow on the floor and chucks it over Sunoo’s way, which he dodges in time with a laugh, “Shut up, I'd rather go around and pick up trash along the highway than find myself a sugar daddy, please!” 

“What’s so wrong about a sugar daddy? It’s easy money.” Jake interjects. 

Sunoo quickly responds, “You say that just because you have a sugar daddy yourself, in the form of Mister Lee Heeseung!” 

“Hey! He’s not my sugar daddy!” The older male between the two scowls. “We’re just having fun.”

“Enough, you two! My head already hurts as it is, you guys aren't helping me.” 

“Ok then let's be serious, didn't Sunghoon ask you out? Just go date him for real! You'll never know, you might take over their family business when you marry into their family. They're super rich anyways.” 

All Jinae could do was frown, “That's nothing! Besides, we're just friends, please.” 

The two males exchanged knowing glances at each other at their best friend’s denial. “Sure sure. Whatever you say.” The younger spoke, crossing his legs and resting back on the couch, leaving Jinae alone with her thoughts.

REHEARSALS TIME

👀👀👀 HMM WHAT HAPPPENED?

** A/N: typo correction - "that was an interesting rehearsal"

NARRATION — SUNGHOON'S POV

Sitting around their hideout, the four boys decided to have a rather chill night. Being a part of such a social circle, they’re always asked to attend house parties and parties in general, left and right. But tonight, they decided they were just going to put on some vibey music and sit around the lounge area of the Rangers hideout, drinking and smoking as one does at their age. 

Their topic of conversation for the past two hours has mostly been about schoolwork, and complaining about the workload. 

Following that, there was a 10-minute silence that enveloped the four men, with them just catching up on messages on their phones, scrolling through social media, and taking a sip from their beer cans. 

That was, until, Jungwon broke the silence. 

“What do you guys know about Park Jinae?” He asked, eyes still glued to the phone he had in his hand. 

Unbeknownst to him, Sunghoon tensed up beside him. 

“Oh, Jinae?” Heeseung’s right eyebrow raised, “Well, I do know she’s Jake’s best friend. Isn’t she pretty popular? I sometimes see her coming to school on a motorbike.” 

“All the boys in my class talk about her. Why do you think so many guys show up to events where the dance club performs?” Ni-ki affirmed, resting back on the couch behind him, both elbows resting on the backrest. 

“She’s an enigma, isn’t she?” So far, it was a dialogue between the oldest and the youngest in the group, with Jungwon and Sunghoon keeping quiet for now, “Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, no one knows anything about her. Not that it’s a bad thing, but you know. Anyway, why are you asking? Are you really planning to ask her to pretend to be your girlfriend to make Sooyoung jealous?” Heeseung squints at the younger Jungwon as he asks this. 

“I mean yes, but not just that. I just - she seems interesting. You know she almost swung at me at dance practice today, because I called her out for being late.” Instead of being annoyed about it, Jungwon could only grin, “It was pretty cool.” 

“She swung at you?! HAHAHA how funny is that?!” Ni-ki bursts out into a big fit of laughter, placing his hand on his stomach, soon followed by Heeseung. 

One corner of Sunghoon’s lips twitched upwards into a grin trying to imagine her throwing a punch at Jungwon. 

“What about you, Sunghoon hyung? Do you know anything about her?” Jungwon’s curiosity was piqued by his silence. Given, he’s always been the quiet one among the four, call it intuition, but the younger did sense a kind of tense vibe from the other. 

“Hmmm? Well..” Crossing his legs over one another and resting back on the couch, he hummed, “She’s cool, at least from what I’ve noticed. Very easy to talk to, too. She’s... beautiful, yeah.” He couldn’t help but smile at the thought of the girl, swirling the contents of the beer can in his hand. 

That didn't go unnoticed, the way his eyes lit up. But the younger decided not to say anything about it for now, “I see.” Jungwon timidly responded, stroking his chin in the process. 

It was like Sunghoon could hear the cogwheels turning in Jungwon’s head in response, “Be careful with your decisions, Jungwon. We’re not here to police you or anything, feel like you’ve had your fair share of that in your life, but, all I’m saying is, make sure that whatever you’re planning, no one gets hurt.” He tried his hardest not to sound as if he was scolding him. 

But at this moment, he found himself worrying about Jinae, too.

BABY GOOD NIGHT 🌙 .. (a series of texts)

** A/N: typo correction (wow i'm on a roll with typos today) - "am i in trouble"

LMFAO JIN PLEASE

REPLY TO HIM ALREADY GEEZ

MORE GOODNIGHT TEXTS

THIS IS THE CUTESTS SHIT EVER!! LOVED EACH AND EVERY SECOND OF IT!! 🫶🫶

KINDRED — yang jungwon

It’s your final year of highschool, and your only goal is to graduate top of your cohort, as usual. Except as student council president, your advisor can’t seem to leave you alone. What happens when you take Decelis Academy’s top student, their star taekwondo athlete and put them in front of a camera?

“Kindred” a student documentary. Pilot episode airing tonight on TVN 7PM KST.

PAIRING: athlete!jungwon x stucopres!fem!reader

FEATURING: enhypen, yunjin from lesserafim, ryujin and chaeryeong from itzy, chanelle from runext, beomgyu and taehyun from txt, wonyoung from ive, gunwook and gyuvin from zb1 etc.

GENRE: high school au, enemies to lovers, nerd x athlete, forced proximity, slice of life, coming of age, he fell first and harder, fluff, ANGST, teen drama, slow burn ish?

STATUS: completed! (01/09/2023 – 18/03/2024)

WARNINGS: contains profanities, horrible attempt at humour, urban lingo, probably cringy, kys/kms jokes, depression jokes, sexual innuendos (nothing too inappropriate), depiction of violence, family drama, incorrect timestamps/information, no fixed faceclaims, not proofread etc.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: story concept is heavily inspired by the kdrama ‘our beloved summer’ other than that the storyline is completely original (or so i assume since i manifested this out from the crevices of my pea brain). chapters with ‘(hw)’ next to them indicates that they are half-written, in case y’all skip over it! as always, the content and depiction of the characters in this smau do not in anyway represent them in real life. lastly, if you do end up enjoying, please do like, comment (love reading your comments btw), and reblog so this can reach!

TAGS: #tfwy kindred #tfwy smau

TEASER

profile. one | two | three

episode 1 - ratatouille and the underdogs

episode 2 - one way ticket to university

episode 3 - do you take constructive criticism?

episode 4 - unsolicited but appreciated

episode 5 - the art of benevolence

episode 6 - taekwondo-anti

episode 7 - beating the mentally ill allegations

episode 8 - can’t help it, i’m a libra

episode 9 - operation we-don’t-really-hate-each-other (hw)

episode 10 - she’s an oscar award winning actress

episode 11 - someone like me (hw)

episode 12 - ‘female-lead-realising-the-bad-boy-isnt-actually-that-bad’ arc

episode 13 - 5 foot 9 garfield meets avatar

episode 14 - yn the heterosexual

episode 15 - the ynwon getting closer montage :p

episode 16 - to the moon and back

episode 17 - eat 2 left toes

episode 18 - you are approved! (hw)

episode 19 - asking for a friend

episode 20 - rediscovering won’s ability to love

episode 21 - beomgyu’s 99999 eq

episode 22 - ynwon get together or else >:(

episode 23 - “hate”

episode 24 - not all problems can be solved with a formula

episode 25 - H.O.M.E.W.R.E.C.K.E.R

episode 26 - collecting facebook milfs like pokémons

episode 27 - you were brighter than the moon (hw)

episode 28 - she's studious not stupid

episode 29 - the garden is full of surprises (hw)

episode 30 - weapon of mass destruction

episode 31 - the name above me (hw)

episode 32 - no offense but she’s a cockblocker

episode 33 - the bane of my existence (hw)

episode 34 - risky risky wiggy wigi this is an emergency

episode 35 - live my life on my terms (hw)

episode 36 - separation anxiety goes crazy

episode 37 - paparizzki

episode 38 - is it too late now to say Sorry?

episode 39 - everything will work out just the way you want it to (hw)

episode 40 (finale) - her entire being is loveable (written)

epilogue - kindred, signing off part 1 | part 2

bonus chapters!

yunjin x heeseung

i can fight

Copyright© 2023 thatfeelinwhenyou All Rights Reserved

── .✦ THE RIGHT THING (y jw)

PAIRING: idol! jungwon x idol fem! reader

SYNOPSIS: as the only female soloist under belift lab you get paired for a collaboration stage with your trainee days’ best friend—enhypen’s leader yang jungwon. your once close friendship brutally ended after misunderstandings and unspoken truths. now, will being forced to work together help you and jungwon rebuild your connection? or will your complicated past and the pressure of the industry break you apart forever?

GENRE: smau + written parts , best friends to (one sided) enemies to lovers , second chance , forced proximity , he fell first and harder , idol au , angst , fluff — FEATURING: enhypen (all members) , lesserafim (kazuha as face claim) , ive (wonyoung, liz, rei) , nmixx (sullyoon) — TW: profanity , kms/kys jokes , alcohol and being drunk , mental health issues , typos , + individual tw in each chapter , english is not my first language ! , this is a work of fiction and doesn’t reflect the idols in real life ! — library! — perm taglist open !

TAGLIST: open

STATUS: ongoing (started: 2025/02/01 — ended: ?)

a/n: okay so i’m warning you the first half of the chapters will probably be very angsty but i swear it will get better let’s trust the process!!! 🫵🏻 ++ the updates will probably be slow for now because i have literally no motivation i’m stuck but we’ll see how it goes 🥲

────

prologue

chapter 1: nothing much

chapter 2: 04 liners from sm

chapter 3: nice to see you again (wc: 0.6k)

chapter 4: acting like this (wc: 0.5k)

chapter 5: wasted

chapter 6: I DID WHAT

chapter 7: hangover (wc: 1.1k)

chapter 8: stiff asf

chapter 9: wonyn

chapter 10: he looks like shit

chapter 11: 🆘 leader nim

chapter 12: breathe (wc: 1.3k)

chapter 13: still talks about you

more coming soon !

────

likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated !

🏷️ perm taglist: @1-itsneverthatserious-1 @who-tf-soddhi @bacons-thighs @athenaisonlinee @st4rryst4r @jellyluv4eva @delirioastral @vvenusoncasual @jiiyen @firstclassjaylee @claumbeju @manaah02

© 2025 all rights reserved to user whjluv

aaahhhhwww so cute!!!

BIRTHDAY BOY ‎ ❪ 엔하이픈 ꔫ 양정원 ❫

O1 ✉️ each year you stress on making his ‎ ‎ birthday even better than the last. who knew ‎that all he ‎ ‎ needed was his favourite girl?

O ୨୧ 2 childhood friends to lovers | birthday au. ‎ 💼 ׂ  ׅ shy! jungwon x fem!reader fluff ‎ ‎ alcohol kissing 2.7k wc.

‎ ❛ clickhere! 🎀 dailytoo! ❜

2016 ━━━ THE 12TH BIRTHDAY

another huff of frustration left your lips, as you panted and wiped the sweat off your forehead. your mom chuckled while placing the sprinkles on his cake, as she looked at how focused you were on blowing the balloon.

“Honey relax.. you’ve been at it for Jungwonie’s not going to focus on one balloon for his birthday.”

your mother said softly, making you glare at her and shake your head, “You don’t get it, everything has to be perfect!”

she rolled her eyes and nudged Jungwon’s mom’s arm, as the two women chuckled.. it was adorable how hyper fixated you always were on birthdays of your best friends. your mom didn’t even want to begin thinking about how crazy you got on your own special days..

tons of other elementary school kids started to fill in Jungwon’s house a few hours later, and you watched from afar with a little prideful grin on your face. yeah, you did that. invitations were your job! and you took these sorts of jobs very seriously.

“Guys! I see him!” Minji exclaimed, her voice echoing off the living room walls as she saw his mom’s car parking outside. All the kids shushed each other, hiding behind the couch, the counter, the plants.. anything.. as you giggled and turned off the lights hurriedly.

Jungwon let out a content sighed with a grin in his mom’s car as he licked the spoon of cake icing. he had just gotten his own little birthday celebration at taekwondo practise, his coach and teammates singing him happy birthday and even getting some cake slices!

“Don’t eat too much, we still have dinner at home..” his mom playfully scolded, parking in the driveway as she looked through the mirror.

Jungwon smiled shyly mid-lick, giggling a bit as he got caught, putting the dessert down. “Sorry, mom~”

His mom chuckled and shook her head, as Jungwon removed his seatbelt and they both started walking up to their house. “Mom? Is y/n not coming over?” He suddenly asked, making her sigh again.

“Sorry sweetie, she has to stay over at her aunts house for another week.. her parents will be there! you’ll still get your present from her!” His mom replied, trying to bite back a smile.. jungwon nodded but a pout grew on his face as he looked down..

it wasn’t really the present he wanted..

“Yeah.. I can always see her at school-” Jungwon muttered, trying to be optimistic even when his eyes showed disappointment..

“Surprise!” but suddenly, his saddened eyes sparkled in shock and adoration.. his eyes sprawled across the room.. the chocolate cake on the table, cat and bts themed birthday ballon’s, all of his friends.. you..? you were here?! was this real?

“H-Happy Birthday!” You started awkwardly, causing a chain reaction as everyone in the room cheered as well.

Jungwon chuckled shyly and rubbed his neck, looking down at you.. “You told me you were going out of town.. did you plan all of this?” He muttered quietly, as you shrugged in a playful manner. “Maybe?” tilting your head, you giggled and ruffled his hair.

He bit his lip, closing his eyes.. while letting you mess up his hair. “You.. you’re so..” jungwon whispered, chuckling a bit as he looked down at you.. while you tilted your head and raised your eyebrows in curiosity. “Hm?”

“Let’s go dude!!” his friends grabbed his shoulders suddenly pulled him in to the party, disturbing your cute moment..

You giggled and looked over at him, how he seemed so shocked at the sudden action. you hoped he’d have fun tho.. after all, you had planned out only all of his favourite party games ever!

Jungwon hummed as he looked out on the night sky, not really paying attention to his friends leaving with their parents down the road.. or the fact that his house was a mess downstairs.

he just stared at the pretty stars in the night sky, the 10 o’clock hour making him feel almost scandalous for staying past his bedtime..

but another thing itched the back of his mind. Jungwon loved all the gifts, all the party games and of course the cake.. but he hadn’t been able to spend much time with you.

he didn’t have time to thank you for the surprise, he didn’t receive your gift, he could barely even see you from all the music and dancing his friends forced him in to!

Plus.. jungwon felt too shy to admit wanting to spend time with you. he knew his friends would tease him, everyone already teased you both relentlessly! And anytime that happened, he risked the chance of spilling out his secret feelings..

He sighed and leaned back against the wall of his balcony, sitting on the wooden floor with his knees tucked, his arms resting atop.

“Hey.. What are you doing here? On.. the ground..” You whined a little, peeking out from the door. “You should be helping your parents and I clean up!”

Jungwon couldn’t help but smile at your complaining, looking at you from the side. “Mhm.. sorry.. I’ll be there..” he hummed quietly, eyes trailing down to the ground again.

You didn’t know why, but you felt a bit guilty.. he seemed to be a bit troubled, why not lend a shoulder to rest on? “..actually it’s fine.. the birthday boy shouldn’t clean up~” you cooed gently, sighing before joining him on the floor.

He sighed and smiled, looking down and fiddling with his fingers again. “I can clean up..” he added, wanting to be of help, but you smacked your lips and nudged him.

“Tch.. I just excused your chore, and now you wanna do em? Seriously.. what kind of kid are you?” you huffed, making him giggle again as he kept his eyes down.. he couldn’t look you up in the eye..

but he noticed the floor was pretty dirty, and your white skirt was sat on it. he frowned and poked your thigh, grabbing your attention. “Don’t sit there.. you’ll dirty your skirt. you can rest on my bed, if you’d like?” Jungwon whispered, making you blush a little at how sweet he was..

You smiled but shook your head. “It’s ok..” you whispered. “I wanna spend time with you..”

Jungwon froze for a moment, before gulping and nodding.. trying to appear calm. only, he had to turn his face away from you and keep his hand over his mouth to hide his reddening cheeks and shy grin. You giggled again at how cute he looked, but didn’t push it..

“So.. you enjoyed the party?” you asked gently again, making him nod immediately, still playing with his fingers. “Mhm..” he hummed.

“Only.. I couldn’t find you for most of it..” jungwon admitted, feeling his heart race at how bold he suddenly felt. you smirked and looked at him. “Missed me?”

he chewed his inner lip, sighing a bit as he looked up at the stars again. you giggled and shook your head, liking how he got all shy.. “Yea..” he suddenly said, making you turn and widen your eyes, with your cheeks turning warm.

“I.. wanted to thank you for the party.. and I wanted to talk to you.. I wanted to take Polaroids too..” he suddenly let out, feeling a sudden rush of boldness hit him. maybe it was his birthday luck that he thought could help him?

but you were surprised.. and Polaroids? he hated whenever you took Polaroids of him. “.. you like those things, right?” jungwon whispered, looking up at you again. your eyes turned big again, gulping and nodding.. he wanted to do something you liked?

“Y-yeah.. I do..” you whispered back, gulping and looking down.

Jungwon felt his cheeks warming up.. but he felt a strange sense of pride and his ego rising in his chest.. you were the nervous one for once.

“By the way.. here’s your gift..” you added, grabbing the little gift box from behind you and handing it to him. He chuckled and hurriedly opened it.. a little friendship bracelet resting inside, blue and orange strings, with his initials and even a cat charm..

jungwon raised his eyebrows and took the bracelet immediately, breath shuddering a little. it was something so simple, so small.. he didn’t even like jewellery or things like that. but he couldn’t stop that fluttery feeling in his heart..

“Ta da~ see? I have one too!” You cooed, showing him your wrist, yours with pink and white strings and another kitty charm. he looked down at your wrist.. ‘JWS GIRL’ it read.. making him stumble a bit.. his girl? you had a bracelet.. calling you his girl?

You chuckled at the surprised reaction on his face. “It still is your birthday gift. I wanted it to be special for you!” jungwon smiled shakily and nodded, his eyes fluttering from his gift to your wrist, to back to your eyes.

“I.. I love it.. thanks y/n..” he stuttered, chuckling awkwardly as he put the bracelet on. you clapped playfully again and giggled. “Perfect! Wait here!” you exclaimed, standing up and leaving the balcony.

Jungwon’s eyes widened, as he looked back and leaned to the door to find you.. but you had run off already, bumping against a shelf on your way. Another laugh escaped his lips as he saw you stumble.. how endearing, he thought.

He wasn’t expecting you to come back with your Polaroid camera, grabbing his wrist close to yours to rest on your thigh, snapping the photo with your other hand. Jungwon gulped at the sudden proximity, but a little smile grew on his lips as he saw how excited you looked, flapping around the plastic photo eagerly and biting your lip.

“Look! ‘YJW’ and ‘JWs GIRL’!” you read out from the Polaroid that showed off your bracelets, before looking back up at him with a smirk, “We’re pretty cute together aren’t we~?” you cooed, knowing it’d make him turn red like a tomato again.

and turn red he did, as he chuckled nervously and bit his lip, nodding at your words while rubbing the back of his neck. “Y-yeah.. we are..” he said softly again while you were admiring the cute photo.

“Here.. come here..” you hummed again, but you were the one that leaned closer to him, as you both stood up this time, your shoulder in front of his. Jungwon pursed his lips at the sudden contact again, but eventually put his arm over your shoulder and held you close against him, while you snapped another Polaroid.

“Damn.. we really do look good together!” You exclaimed excitedly at how good the photo turned out, making jungwon pull back with a little smile.. his eyes stuck on you.. “m-mhm..” he hummed absentmindedly..

Your eyes found his again, looking at him with sparkly eyes and a grin. “Happy 12th, birthday boy!” you exclaimed, suddenly wrapping your arms around his neck and jumping into his arms.

“Woah-” He stumbled back a bit, trying to catch his breath and his stance as he quickly wrapped his own arms around your back. a tiny giggle left his lips, voice muffled as his face was pressed against your thick sweater.

You bit your lip and pulled away, looking back up at him and smiling mischievously. “By the way.. I had another gift ready too..” you muttered softly, making his eyebrows raise as he chuckled and nodded. “You did? That’s generous..” he hummed.

with a nod, you suddenly pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

Jungwon’s eyes turned wide for the hundredth time that night.. as he looked down at you.. he felt the world stop for a moment as you giggled up at him.

“Rest up if you won’t clean up!” You exclaimed, running off with a giggle suddenly. Jungwon was left speechless, his hand on his cheek as his fingers lightly touched the lip balm from your kiss mark..

This was definitely his favourite birthday..

2025 ━━━ THE 21ST BIRTHDAY

you bit your lip while trying to tie the balloon together again, panting in frustration from how heavily you breathed to blow it up earlier..

heeseung raised an eyebrow, but Sunoo was already used to your enthusiasm in birthdays, especially those of Jungwon’s. “Y/n? You ok? Your face is like.. blue.” hee asked in worry, coming behind you.

you inhaled deeply, after almost loosing your lung capacity in the span of five minutes. “Huh? Y-yeah-” you muttered, before the sound of the balloon flying away and the air splattering away hit your face, blowing away your hair.

“Goddamnit!” you exclaimed in frustration, running around to grab the balloon you accidentally let go of.. Sunoo rolled his eyes while decorating the rest of the living room. Heeseung gulped, looking at you in worry.

“Is she ok?” He asked the other. Sunoo shrugged and nodded. “I think so.. she’s always like this, just gets crazy over birthdays, especially Jungwon’s..”

“You know that polaroid jungwon keeps in the back of his phone? Of the two bracelets? those were from his 12th birthday, y/n gifted him friendship bracelets!” Sunoo exclaimed with a slight giggle, but looked back down with a soft sigh and shook his head.

“But that was before they became a couple.. they got together three years later and became the completely insufferable couple we know and love..” Sunoo added, making heeseung chuckle. “Hey.. jungwonie isn’t insufferable.” He argued back.

Sunoo rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Try dealing with 15-year-old jungwon yapping your ear off about his every date with y/n.. you’ll see just how insufferable he was..”

Heeseung pursed his lips, smirking slightly as he shook his head.

“Hey! Jungwon’s gonna be back in half an hour and the place is barely decorated! Get your hands on some ribbons and get this place in tip-top form!” You suddenly scolded, pointing at both heeseung and sunoo.

Sunoo rolled his eyes and sighed, but heeseung playfully saluted and nodded, cracking up as you left. “Yeah.. that girl has just never stopped being insufferable..”

“Surprise!” Everyone yelled as Jungwon opened the door, still clad in his leather jacket and all-black outfit. He gasped and chuckled at everything, some fancy champagne on the table, the golden 21 balloons on top of his couch, all of his friends.. and you.

He put his jacket on the coat rack, hugging you immediately with a giggle. “My god, honey.. this is so unexpected!” Jungwon cooed, holding you tight against his chest..

“Seriously? you really didn’t know~?” You chuckled in surprise, looking up at him as he pulled away and kept you under his arm. “No, I knew..” he muttered, still with a grin as he looked around at all of his friends and the decor.

Of course he knew, you had only been planning a surprise party at every birthday of his since he was 12.

“Ok enough with the sappy stuff, let’s get partying!” Jake wooed, his pink party glasses already on as he slung his arm over Jungwon’s shoulder, and slammed the champagne bottle into his chest. “Woo!” Jake exclaimed again, making jungwon chuckle and quickly grasp the alcohol.. he was 100% sure his friend had already started pregaming too hard..

Jungwon shook his head but popped open the bottle, starting his 21st celebration as you looked at your smiley boyfriend with adoration..

“Mm~ thank you for my party~” jungwon cooed, his arms wrapped around your waist as he embraced you from behind and walked you to the bedroom.

his voice was slightly murmured and slurred being against your cheek and jaw, pressing soft kisses to your skin.. he was also a bit tipsy, just a little~

a giggle escaped your lips, as you ruffled his blonde locks behind you. “Thank you for being born..” you cooed, turning back to him as you wrapped your arms around his neck, slowly pressing your lips onto his in a deep, yet gentle kiss.

Jungwon giggled against your lip, tilting his head and leaning lower to reach your lips as he pushed back the door behind you, entering the comforting feeling of your bedroom.

He pulled away with a soft moan, giggling at how pretty you looked. jungwon stayed there for a moment, brushing your hair back as he looked down at you.. with such love in his eyes, but you could barely distinguish them from his originally sparkly eyes that seemed to have the stars in them.

“What, sweetie?” You whispered, wondering what was going on in his pretty mind, behind that cute grin. he chuckled cutely again and turned red slightly from how you caught his obvious staring. “N-nothing..” he shook his head, giggling softly.

“Nothing, baby..” he hummed again, pressing his nose against your cheek as he left another open-mouthed kiss to yours skin.

you giggled at his clinginess, not used to him being so bold. he eventually got all blushy again when he realised what he was doing, as he pulled back and covered his hand with his face with a lazy giggle..

“Mmh.. gosh..” he chuckled groggily. “I’m sorry..”

but his words just made your heart warm up even more. you held his hand again, dragging him to the balcony. “C’mere honey..” you whispered, as jungwon hummed in a raspy voice and followed you..

you pushed him slightly to the rails, taking out your Polaroid camera.. jungwon raised his eyebrows when he noticed what you were doing, another lovesick yet embarrassed grin on his face. “Baby, I’m drunk..” he groaned, rubbing his cheek softly.

“Just pose~” you said in a teasingly scolding tone, making him giggle again as he shook his head and closed his eyes. he puffed his cheeks and pouted his lips, taking one of his hands out of his pockets and making a heart pose against his cheek. “Aw! How cute!” you cooed, an overly dramatic tone to tease him.

Jungwon’s exaggerated cute pose faltered at your words, as he chuckled at how cruelly supportive you were. but you had already snapped a photo of him at peak-aegyo form.

you giggled and flapped around the photo excitedly, biting your lip and looking down at the picture eagerly. “Awh~ you’re so adorable!” You cooed, but jungwon rolled his eyes, keeping his hand in his pocket, while the other snatched the photo.

“This is for your eyes only, got that, princess?” He said in a stern voice, but his smile was too handsome and adorable for you to take seriously.. as your heart started racing even more. you nodded anyway and fought back a chuckle.

Jungwon suddenly took the camera too, pushing you back slightly against the railing. “Here.. let me take yours too~” he cooed, snapping a cute photo of yours as you giggled, but posed for the camera in a corny manner.

and either jungwon didn’t know how to work your old camera.. or he was too busy staring at the tiny screen.. as it took forever for him to snap a picture. and judging by his paused reaction, how his eyes turned a bit hazy and his giggles stopped.. you guessed it was the latter.

you pursed your lips, hiding your shy grin..

but you walked back up to him again, reviewing the flashy Polaroid. despite his drunk state, the photo came out beautiful! “Honey, it’s gorgeous!” you exclaimed, giggling in excitement. Jungwon nodded, a stupid little grin on his face as he looked down at you, stumbling a little.. a little whisper escaped his lips “yeah.. gorgeous..”

you didn’t notice his little distracted daze, but you looked up at him in excitement again. “Let’s take a selfie, hun!” you giggled, mini-clapping as you bit your lip. jungwon raised his eyebrows and chuckled at how cute you looked, as he patted your head and nodded.

“Alright, babe.. look up..” he whispered, a hand on your shoulder as he pulled you closer to him. he puffed his cheeks again and pouted his lips, as he kneeled down a little to reach your height. you put your hands on his shoulder and tip-toed slightly.

“1, 2..” he quietly said, and you let out a soft, hushed giggle as you turned to him and smiled.. before pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek on 3, as the flash clicked through.

Jungwon’s eyes widened slightly, but a chuckle escaped his lips.. even at the simplest kisses, you still had him as shy as he was 9 years ago..

he blushed and rubbed his neck, as you snatched the picture and flapped the photo back and forth, grinning at the cute photo down. “Hey.. we look pretty cute together!” you hummed excitedly, raising your eyebrows as you showed him the photo.

Jungwon chuckled and nodded, closing his eyes in a way that said this girl.. “yes, baby..” he hummed, kissing your forehead softly. “we do look pretty cute together..” he said slowly as he pressed his cheek against the side of your head and looked down at the photo..

“Guess we have more Polaroids to add to the birthday collection~” you cooed, giggling softly, as Jungwon nodded and shrugged. “Guess we do..”

You could tell he was pretty tired from his vice and state, but you had one more thing to say..

you put your arms around his neck again, biting your lip and giggling as he pushed him back slightly from your tight hug. a much gentler, yet just as enthusiastic embrace than the one 9 years ago..

“Happy 21st, birthday boy!” You exclaimed, as jungwon stumbled back, holding you quickly against his chest with his one arm, the other still holding the camera.. “Woah..” he let out, chuckling at your eagerness.

“Mhm.. thank you, baby..” jungwon cooed, looking down at you and chuckling as he pressed another chaste kiss to your cheek. you giggled at his affection and leaned up slightly, rubbing your noses gently against each other.

“Mm.. You always know how to make my birthdays the best each year.. my girl~” he whispered with a soft giggle, recalling the bracelets you both still had on.. while rubbing his nose against yours as his eyes trailed down to your lips.

you giggled again and nodded, “and I’ll do it all the way to your 100th.. y j w~ ” you whispered back with a chuckle, leaning up and softly pressing your lips against his..

one thing’s for sure, he wanted to spend every birthday with you.. with his girl.

© weoris | tumblr.

❪ BUNNY TALK ❫ the day I come back is jungwon’s bday , xin x jw agenda is meant to be fr. hope you all enjoy !! >< who else loves hopelessly in love enha 🙋🏻‍♀️ and happy jungwon day 🐈💓

❪ PERM TAGLIST ❫ @w3bqrl @boowoowho @ahnneyong @kynrki @ixomiyu @yunki4evr @flwoie @bubblytaetae @ja4hyvn @dimplewonie @xiaoderrrr @trsrina @adajoemaya @stepout-09-15 zzegarki @ineedaherosavemeenow @lcv3lies @violetinferno @mijuuv @enhapocketz @hoonics @isoobie @dolldhn @jiaant11 @yeomha @mosssi @j-wyoung @artstaeh @spilled-coffee-cup @cowsmicwu @nishislcve @laylasbunbunny @greentulip @enhacolor @miumura @firstclassjaylee @wensurr @vmpivory OPEN

why are so many jungwon writers deactivated 😭 couldn’t you just archive your blog??? now i just see broken links 😔

if you have any reccs lmk!!

really wanted to read an idol!jungwon x idol!reader but i 3 of DEACTIVATED AUTHORS how are they even searchable?? this is why i have trust issues 💀

⊹ ˚🎄 ! ╱ BAD REVIEW ౨ৎ yang jungwon

⠀⠀⠀› 003 , your ex watches my yt videos

PREVIOUSLY | MASTERLIST | NEXT

❄️  ⌗ SYNOPSIS ꒱ ⠀anyone could tell you that getting scheduled to work on christmas day is terrible. after all, nobody wants to work during holiday season—the customers are awful and the repetitive music makes you want to rip your hair out. then, some random guy your age orders a sundae that causes you to gag while you put the order in, just for him to rate your grandfather’s restaurant a 2.5/10 stars on twitter. if there’s anything you hate more than working holidays, it’s influencers who cause trouble just for views.

📓  ⌗ GENRE ꒱⠀papa’s scooperia!au, social media!au, holiday themed, strangers-to-lovers, fluff, comedy (pls laugh!!!!)

🎐  ⌗ TAGLIST ꒱⠀@tasnemluvs @elegancefr @jiamini @getoxo @vmpivory @vixialuvs @would-bee @cupiddolle | (open: comment, send an ask, or apply here to join!!)

🕊️  ⌗ AUTHOR’S NOTE ꒱⠀i’m so sorry for the long chapter but i feel like it makes sense…idk anyway! hope you enjoyed!

© 2024 AENiFY. All Rights Reserved. Please do not copy or steal anything I post!

THIS! it is honestly so bizarre that people are focusing on him potentially dating and/or smoking (which he has now denied) INSTEAD of the fact someone was stalking him!

they probably followed him for hours or maybe days to get any sort of information! isn’t that crazy? belift get your shit together and protect your idols!!

i am so disappointed in the publics response, not suprised tho! they are obviously delulu but it is scary how well companies listen to those crazies!

belift needs to do something before this goes fully wrong 𐙚

Lee Heeseung - 01 line!

Jay Park - 02 line!

Sim Jake - 02 line!

Park Sunghoon - 02 line!

Kim Sunoo - 03 line!

Yang Jungwon - 04 line!

Nishimura Riki - 05 line!

encore ! - yjw

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️ synopsis ; ever since debut, your group has been caught up in countless of scandals surrounding famous boy group, enhypen. what happens when this leads to an enhypen member himself noticing your group ? or more specifically, you ?

genre ; crack, fluff, a lil angst

warnings ! contain curse words, inaccurate timestamps, sensitive topics (that idols usually get hate for )

pairings ; idol ! jw x idol ! yn

FT. enha , haerin from nwjns , rei from ive

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️ a/n ; PLEASE APPRECIATE THE AMOUNT OF EFFORT I TOOK TO EDIT ALL THE IDOL CONTENT 😭😭😭😭 fr almost gave up halfway el o el . this smau will be published towards the end of the previous smau <trial and error > so go check that one out if you havent ~ this is my 3rd smau so i hope this one will do as well as the previous few <3 do show it lots of loveeee

!! however the characters are portrayed in this ff does not represent them irl !!

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️ release date : 1 mar 2023

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️ end date :

taglist open ! send an ask to be inside > 2 slots left

like my works ? follow and join my permanent taglist to never miss out on any new ones !

all works here are strictly mine. please do not translate or steal them without permission. © kyyuri

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ profiles

enhypen ! — endear ! — others !

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ merch

SCENE 01 : RENAISSANCE ( pt 1) — SCENE 01 : RENAISSANCE (pt 2)

SCENE 02 :

ENDEAR MEMBERSHIP & LIGHTSTICK

༊*·˚. — tracklist

001. damage control

002. WE GOT HIM

003. uh oh

004. take the hit

005. the end of niki drought

: ̗̀➛ bonus : Enz crumbs

006. enhy-lighten

007. what time is it ?

008. the selca was for her.

009. hot girls debut

010. its you and me in this world

011. the deluded meets the deluded

012. caught slippin

013. another one thank you

014.

015. riki when i catch you

016.

017.

018.

019.

020.

: ̗̀➛ special : baram’s vlog

: ̗̀➛ special : hyejin’s vlog

: ̗̀➛ special : daeun’s vlog

all works here are strictly mine. please do not translate or steal them without permission. © kyyuri

taglist ! @annoyingbitch83 @sxftiell @invusblog @ineedaherosavemeenow @whippedforbeomgyu @lcv3lies @j-wyoung @astrae4 @fallingforya @xjustashx @foxsunoo @shinsou-rii @sserafimez @kreideprinzcaat @lovelypitasworld @captivq @sim7sj @alpha-mommy69 @xtra-cheese @chaerybae @ihoonbrry @climbingmandevillas @witzys @run2seob @emikiii @wh0recruxoftomriddle @seomisaho @hoonieessz @maerijw

permanent taglist ! @soobin-chois @aksemy @ja4hyvn @enhacolor @abdiitcryy @ahnneyong @yangkie @stepout-09-15 @llllllllama @mafukissu @loveliii @vieniee @curly-fr13s @officiallyjaehyuns @ixomiyu @luva1y @pkjay @txtbrainrot @xiaoderrrr @jhopesucker @haknom @ipoststuffandyeah

STRATEGY

✷ a step by step tutorial on how to get into yang jungwon’s stubborn and dumb heart using wikihow!

day 14 of melodies to memories ― y.jw︲f reader︲fluff, comedy︲1400

prom wasn’t long away, yet why hadn’t yang jungwon asked you out?

you were basically already dating with the way he’d always saving you a seat at lunch, walking you to class, and texting you late into the night.

maybe he was just waiting on you to say something first, and you know what? you were going to make the first move. by making him ask you out obviously. 

you caught him after class one day, leaning against the lockers with his headphones draped around his neck.

“hey,” you started, trying to keep your tone light. “are you planning to go to prom?”

jungwon looked at you, his dark eyes gleaming with amusement. “depends.”

“on what?”

“on who I’m going with,” he said smoothly, a cocky grin widening.

this isn’t going to do. new plan. wikihow.

─── ♡

STEP 1: LET HIM KNOW YOU’RE INTERESTED

get to know him

flirt

body language

getting to know yang jungwon was easy. you were already friends with him so check! next part.

wait.

flirt?

with yang jungwon? not going to happen. no way. next part.

body language. okay.

you decided to test out your newfound knowledge the next time you and jungwon hung out. it was a saturday afternoon, and the two of you were sprawled out on his couch, a random movie playing in the background as he scrolled through his phone.

you started small, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear every now and then, making sure it looked natural. when he glanced at you, you leaned in slightly, angling your body toward him like wikihow said.

"you good?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"yeah, why?" you replied, feigning innocence.

he shrugged, smirking. "nothing. you’re just... fidgety."

oh right you forgot to look at the floor, because it makes you look cute. at least according to wikihow.

“you keep looking at the floor,” jungwon said, sitting up now. “is there something on it? like a bug?”

“no!” you exclaimed, a little too quickly.

“then why do you keep staring at it like it’s gonna talk to you?”

you wanted to melt into the couch. “i don’t know, maybe I just like floors, okay?”

jungwon seemed completely unbothered, leaning back and stretching. “you’re lucky you’re fun to hang out with, though. otherwise, i’d think you were plotting something.”

you tried to brush it off, but the warmth in your chest betrayed you. so maybe wikihow wasn’t working right now, but there were more steps left to try... right?

─── ♡

STEP 2: DROP HINTS

use common knowledge to your advantage

have your friends drop hints

talk about your plans

okay this step wasn’t too bad. this has got to propel you towards him asking you out to prom.

when you told your friends of your plan, they thought you had lost it. actually this time.

more specifically when you asked them to drop hints by bringing the two of you up more often as an item.

“so, let me get this straight,” giselle said, narrowing her eyes. “you want us to casually bring you and jungwon up in conversation, like... as a couple?”

“yes,” you said with conviction, ignoring her skeptical look.

“subtle, right?” sunoo piped up, raising an eyebrow.

“exactly. not too obvious, just enough to plant the idea in his head,” you clarified, determined.

giselle snorted. “subtle isn’t exactly my strong suit, but sure.”

you watched from afar as giselle ran up to jungwon yelling something.

“jungwon! you know y/n likes you right?”

that’s not a hint. what the hell. does she know remotely what subtle is?

“okay okay what do you really want now, my chem notes?” he laughed and brushed her comment off. she looked to you and shrugged.

it’s okay, you didn’t complete the last part of this step. though you felt an immeasurable amount of dread.

the next day in class after putting your bag down, you approached his desk, playing with his pencil.

“hey you know i’m going to the movies this week right?” you asked.

“oh nice, have fun, what movie by the way?” he smiled giving an oblivious smile. if only he knew.

you blinked, not expecting that response. “… yeah, I mean, it’s supposed to be a fun movie. romantic comedies are always better in theaters, right?”

“sure,” he said, still doodling, completely unfazed.

your brain scrambled for something else to say, something that could salvage this interaction. “you know, it’s the kind of movie that’s probably better with… company.”

he stopped drawing, finally looking at you properly, though his expression was unreadable.

“then why don’t you take giselle?” he asked, leaning back in his chair, tilting his head, reading your expression. though you wouldn’t have noticed the look he was giving you, begging you to ask him to go.

you wanted to scream. you wanted to crawl under a rock. you wanted to fall into a blackhole and have it spaghetti noodle you up like the many articles you’ve read.

you just wanted to yell at him that you liked him. though you weren’t sure if he’d get the message even at that.

maybe it’s time you finish all the steps.

─── ♡

STEP 3: KNOW WHAT NOT TO DO

avoid the friendzone

avoid letting him know how much you want to go out with him

don’t wait around too long

wait.

that’s it.

maybe you’re just in the friendzone?

the thought made your stomach sink, and for the first time, doubt crept into your master plan.

maybe it’s time to give up, you thought with a sigh. but before you could let defeat settle in, giselle, snatched your phone out of your hand.

“what the hell are you moping about?” she asked, reading the screen. her face scrunched up in exaggerated disbelief. “you? friendzoned? please, y/n. the boy is always staring at you. just yesterday, he literally paused mid-bite of his sandwich when you walked in.”

“that doesn’t mean anything,” you muttered, crossing your arms defensively.

giselle rolled her eyes, dragging you up from your chair. “okay, first of all, you’re not giving up. second, you’re doing something big. we’re skipping to the final step.”

“what’s the final step?” you asked warily.

she smirked. “you’re just going to ask him yourself.”

you froze. “absolutely not. that’s—”

“y/n!”

jungwon called with a smile waving his hand over. you looked back to giselle as if she was going to create some sort of comfort, but no. she pushed you forward towards the boy whispering something that you couldn’t hear.

“hi won,” you greeted with some sort of a smile.

“so,” he trailed off. “so,” you prompted him back

“prom.”

“yeah what about it? it’s this weekend and..?”

jungwon scratched the back of his neck, “well, i was wondering if, uh, you…” he hesitated, glancing away for a split second before locking eyes with you again. “…if you’d go with me.”

your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, you thought you misheard him. “wait, what?”

his lips quirked up in a lopsided grin, the confidence creeping back into his demeanor. “prom. you. me. together. what do you think?”

“not as like, friends right. or maybe as friends, which way are you asking?” you asked nervously.

“not as friends,”

“oh,” you managed to say, your voice a little higher-pitched than normal. “well, in that case…”

he raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a teasing smile. “you gonna keep me waiting, or…?”

“no!” you said quickly, shaking your head. “i mean—yes. not yes to keeping you waiting. yes to—”

jungwon chuckled, cutting off your rambling. “i get it. it’s a yes.”

“yes,” you repeated, this time with more confidence, a grin spreading across your face.

“good,” he said, his smile softening as he glanced down for a second, then back up at you. “because i’ve been wanting to ask you for a while now. just didn’t want to mess it up.”

“mess it up? jungwon, you’re like, the last person who could mess this up.”

“yeah?” he asked, his tone lighter now. “you think i’m that smooth?”

“not really,” you teased, a playful glint in your eyes. “but i think i like you anyway.”

his grin grew wider, and for a moment, the usual confident, composed jungwon seemed almost bashful. “good to know,” he said, his voice dropping slightly. “because i like you too.”

maybe wikihow did have the answers all along. the answer of a strategy on how to get yang jungwon to ask you out to prom.

─── ♡

a/n: happy day 14 of melodies to memories!! not going to be awake for this one so my perm tl will be tagged on this post rather than in the reblog hehe >< I've been LOVING strategy by twice it's so brain itch afhuidjg,, all likes, comments, reblogs appreciated.

melodies to memories tl (open!): @pshwrldd @hhmnya@wonsdoll@lovuegi

perm 🏷️(reply/send ask to this post to be added): @wonsdoll @suneng @heeambi @anqelkoz @who-tf-soddhi @cupidhoons @kiss4noo @nooyork

@ coqhee 2024. all rights reserved.

jungwon 🥰 that is it! he is sooo 🥰

― THE WON FOR ME

PAIRING. fem!reader x yang jungwon CONTENT. bestfriends to lovers (kinda?) , realization of feelings , fluff & comfort , light angst , petnames , jungwon is so sweet :(( WORD COUNT. 1.5k NOTE. this is very self indulgent tbh... i hope u enjoyy :3 !!

Boys. During the beginning of high school, you adored boys. You desperately wanted a boyfriend and had at least one new crush every week. But now, in your senior year of high school, you're no longer fond of boys, males, whatever you'd like to call them. You didn't enjoy being around that...species of human beings. There was only one person who you made an exception for.

Your bestfriend, yang jungwon.

You had known jungwon since the seventh grade, and ever since then- you guys have been inseparable. He's seen you in your absolute worst state while you were with your ex, and he still stuck around. He's been there for you through literally everything, you don't know what you would do without him. He means the world to you, and you mean the world to him.

He wasn't a jerk, not at all. If anything, jungwon was the most caring person you knew. He always checked in with you to make sure you were doing alright, he always comforted you whenever you needed comfort, and he made sure to let you know that he would never leave your side, ever.

It looked easy being your bestfriend on the outside, but on the inside, jungwon was slowly losing it. He had been in love with you since forever, and you still hadn't noticed. His heart, body, soul longed for you. Of course, he held no hatred towards you because of that, he was just very sad, disappointed, let down.

He hoped maybe one day you would realize it was him, he really hoped you would.

Today was one of those days that you were going through the emotions, the feelings of missing someone.

Truthfully, you were still processing your breakup with your ex boyfriend. You guys had been together for 1 year and 3 months, so you were understandably shocked when he suddenly broke up with you- through text.

It was 6pm and you had woken up at 1pm. However, you had just been rotting in your bed the whole time. The only light in your bedroom was coming from your open window. It was gloomy outside, the weather understood how you felt today. You hadn't gotten out of bed today, and you probably weren't going to anytime soon.

jungwon : hi pretty :)) jungwon : you doing okay?? need me to bring you anything??

You smile at his texts. Jungwon always made you smile, even if you were feeling like complete shit.

And you definitely missed him, it had been three days since you last saw him. Yes you guys had facetimed a few times, but you wanted to be in his presence, in person.

There was nothing more comforting than being in his embrace.

y/n : hiii won y/n : i've been in bed all day...i miss u :<

jungwon : omw to u rn ! jungwon : bringing u some food too bc ik u havent eaten yet

Of course he knew you didn't eat yet, he had those spidey senses.

You'll tell him how thankful you are in person, your thumbs are already tired from typing. So, you just lie in bed and stare outside your window. You figured you ended up zoning out because you're startled when you hear a knock on your door.

"come in!" you say while still staring out the window.

Hearing the door knob turn, you turn your view to the door.

"guess who's hereee" you hear him say while opening the door and you can already hear his smile. You know his cat-like eyes are smiling along with him right now.

"hey jungwon" you say while giggling and there he is, in his favorite pair of jeans and a grey hoodie. He's so cute.

But you found him cute as a bestfriend, right? It wasn't like that, you were sure.

"i got you some udon soup and some ramen because i didn't know what you felt like. it's really hot though, so be careful" he tells you while carefully placing the food and utensils on your bedside table.

He really knew you so well. You love having udon and ramen when the weather is gloomy, like how it is today.

"thanks won, seriously" you say while opening the containers and taking in the smell of the warm soup.

He just nods and smiles with his dimples, staring at you. You know he's just making sure you don't spill on your bed, that's how he is.

He's also thinking about how cute you look right now, with your hair in a messy bun and bare face. But, you didn't need to know that.

You absolutely beast the food in a span of 7 minutes, you didn't realize how hungry you were. You definitely feel less out of it now.

You look over at jungwon and he's under your covers, laying down next to you and staring out the window. You notice that his hair is slightly messy, cute.

I guess he feels your stares, because he quickly turns his head to look at you and pulls you next to him.

He smells like clean laundry, warm and comforting, like always.

You get comfortable and lay your head on his chest and his arms find their way around your waist. He rests his chin on the top of your head and you can already feel your body relaxing.

Being in his embrace, in his presence, makes you feel at peace.

"so what's been on your mind?" he asks softly while brushing the strands of hair out your face.

"i saw a pic of my ex on insta with a new girlfriend and i guess it just brought back a lot of strong emotions. i don't like him anymore but you know, we were together for so long so..."

He quietly hums and you take it as a sign that he wants you to keep talking, as if he knows there's more that you need to let out.

And of course, he's right.

"it kind-of made me feel lonely? like he already has a girlfriend and i'm just rotting in my bed" you explain while fidgeting with the black hoodie that you have on.

There's silence for a few seconds, all you can hear is each other's breathing.

Jungwon doesn't know what to say. He always knows what to say, he just can't find anything to say in this moment. Why? It's because you said that you feel lonely. He never wants you to feel lonely, ever.

So instead of saying something, he just lays you on top of him, your head still on his chest. He hugs you a little tighter, too.

"pretty girl, i know you feel lonely, but i'm always here for you. no matter what. you already know that though, yeah?" he says, and you nod in response.

"won" you say, and he hums again.

"thank you for always being by my side. i'm so thankful for you, really. i love you" you say in a quiet tone of voice.

There's silence once again, and all you can hear is his heartbeat.

Jungwon's mind is racing. Did you just confess? Or was it just a friendly "i love you"? God, he was going absolutely nuts.

"y/n, i love you too" he says while bringing his hand to your chin to help you look at him.

"and i mean it. i love you y/n. not as your bestfriend, but as someone that has had feelings for you since day one. im in love with you pretty" he admits, and you don't know how to react.

"but you don't need to love me back in that way. never would i ever ask or force you to. especially with what you're dealing with right now, post breakup and all. i just needed to communicate my feelings with you or i think i'd explode" he continues, and you're frozen.

You didn't expect a confession out of the blue. Jungwon liked you? Wait no, he said he loved you. How did you never notice?

But looking back, it was sort-of obvious. The way he would get absolutely pissed when you told him about how your ex treated you, or the way he would have hearts in his eyes when you talked to him about your interests.

You don't know how you feel 100%, but you do know that you love him. And right now, you're might love him a little more than a bestfriend would.

"won, i love you too. i'm not exactly sure if i can say that i love you in that way just yet, but i'm sorry for not realizing sooner" you tell him while playing with his hoodie strings and staring at his adams apple.

"pretty girl" he brushes your hair out of your face once again.

"don't be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for. i'll be here forever, so no rush" he says while giggling.

You catch him off guard with a quick peck on the cheek and you find it cute how flustered he is.

"if you can't handle a peck from me, how are you going to handle me as your girlfriend?" you ask playfully, still giggling at his flustered state.

"i'd definitely find a way, when it comes to you, i'll always find a way"

like and reblog if you enjoyed ^w^ my other works can be found here :)

© mochiwonz ― all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, or translate my work.

ENHYPEN FIC RECS!

notes: i have compiled a list of amazing fics by amazing authors, but i know i’m only scratching the surface. please feel free to recommend your favorite fics (from other authors, or yourself), and i will try to update the list <3 also, at the end of the fics, i have included a list of amazing authors that are binge-worthy. i personally find all their fics entertaining, so i highly recommend checking out their full masterlist !!

Lees verder

jungwon area is back???

formula of love ― yang jungwon.

― synopsis: chemistry with miss kim was known to be the worst class to every student at your school - but you don’t quite mind it, because of your deskmate yang jungwon (that you might have had just a tiny crush on). but one day, jungwon is missing from his seat - and he never returns for the rest of the school year. the next time you see his face is when a picture of him pops up on your twitter feed, and you learn that he’s now… an idol?  ― genre: classmates to lovers, smau + some written chapters, crack, fluff, mutual pining ― pairing: idol! jungwon x fem! reader ― warnings: swearing, reader is dense as hell lol, ignore timestamps ― taglist: closed ― status: complete! ― author’s note: idea came to me when i was stressing over my chem exam 😆😆😆 i love it here!!!

PROFILES: one / two

ONE ― yang jungwon from chem??? TWO ― gertrude and robert <3 THREE ― colour coded notes FOUR ― down horrendous FIVE ― jungwon destroys ramyeon (not clickbait) SIX ― rain sunbaenim SEVEN ― jealousy is a disease EIGHT ― ferrari and a mansion NINE ― i have a black belt TEN ― banging my head on the wall ELEVEN ― im gonna ask TWELVE ― dense as hell THIRTEEN ― smoldering thru the tears FOURTEEN ― cat cafe FIFTEEN ― beastie????? SIXTEEN ― slaybak SEVENTEEN ― ayo hitman bang introduces EIGHTEEN ― jaehyun??? NINETEEN ― fake! photoshopped!! TWENTY ― my gee eff

GIMME THAT JUNGWON FIC AND MY LIFE IS YOURS!!! 🧎‍♀️‍➡️

Guys final votes which one!!!

Heeseung: 12 am sex is the best but sleeping with your enemy is an another level satisfaction when her family is at home and you have breaked into her room.

Jungwon: 1 am sex is the best but sleeping with your best friend sister can be risky when her brother is sleeping in the next room.

ever seen 🧃

jungwon x f!reader ,, smau

synopsis: yn kim has had a humongous crush on jungwon since she first laid eyes on him in their last year at high school. she created a fan account after being put in the friend zone but hasn’t found the chance to tell him that it’s her… now that they’re in their final year of university, will she get the guy?

genre: smau, acquaintances/mutuals to lovers, one-sided feelings,, warnings: swearing, harmful jokes, most people have been aged down for the sake of the story!

❗️this in no way, shape or form represents any of the individuals mentioned, their faces are used for the sake of storytelling❗️

starring! : all of enhypen, eunchae (le sserafim), minji (new jeans), soul (p1harmony), seunghan and sohee (riize), yuna (itzy), ningning (aespa), manon (katseye), beomgyu + soobin (txt) and felix, i.n + seungmin (stray kids)

started: 24/11/24

status: ongoing

profiles: the hopeless romantics + sunoo // decelis superstars // the elders

chapters ~

prologue - she’s crazy (written)

one - you ain’t gotta go to work work work (half written)

two - fein (classical version)

three - what'd i do ?

four - catch me outside (written)

five - family facebook account

six - brother act

seven - nocolate strawberry chocolate

eight - haunted house

nine - friend wars (written)

more coming soon!

a/n: this is the first smau i’ve ever written so i hope you enjoy it 🫣🫣 criticism is highly appreciated and thank you in advance for taking the time to check this out ❤️‍🔥

p.s i might make a prequel for seungmin because i love his friend groups dynamic sm 😞

NOOO 😭😭 SHE DESERVES THE WORLD!!!

unfortunately i don't think it worked...

warning! vulgar language

Eyes Off You

prev - masterlist - next

a/n! so… this is a bit of a filler before more drama but dw guys!!!!!!! everything works out for kl (and jungwon) in the end!!! enjoy and see you again tmr!ᡣ𐭩

taglist! :) (purple means i can't tag you)

@sthinqsz @hwalllllllelujah @lovelymura @ja4hyvn @wonamour @tomorrowbymoa-together @luviehyck @chloexc @w0nslvr @electrobutterfly @kgneptun @nikiswifiee @heeseungspookie @jwonistic @pshwrldd @enhabooks @noname-123s-things @slvrnm @right-person-wrong-time

I NEED A NEW CHAPTER STAT!!!!

୨♡୧ choose you: tf is a cockalorum??

previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next

a/n: it's tough being an idol in a hot people world :( also, if you can't tell, i'm still upset over karina and jaewook's break up. if it really was because of work, wtv. if not 🤬

⋆˙⟡🪶─ .✦📜⊹₊ ݁. @en-dream @sugarikiz @jwonistic @wensurr @theothernads @sh0dor1 @vveebee @ardentsnowfall @tasnemluvs @meloncreamysoda @heeheesang @cherrybeomm @jiiyen @iheartshopping

♫︎ LOVE AT 7 AM | Y.JW

pairing: classmate! jungwon × fem! reader

synopsis: jungwon and you are the only two students who consistently arrive early at school. what starts as simply nods and polite smiles soon turned into shared mornings filled with coffee, quiet conversations, and spontaneous singing sessions in the empty music room.

genre: contemporary romance, fluff and gentle romance, classmates to lovers? i guess...

word count: 5.52k

JUNGWON sighed, the sound barely escaping his lips as he slouched over his desk. He was early. Again. So early that only you were in the classroom, the two of you like misplaced puzzle pieces in an otherwise empty picture. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to shake off the awkwardness of being the first ones there, a scenario that was becoming all too familiar.

He let his gaze wander, catching sight of you sitting near the window, staring out into the quiet school grounds. The way you seemed to be waiting for something—anything—to happen, made him almost chuckle. "What else can you do when you're stuck in an empty classroom?" he thought. He considered pulling out his notebook to revise the previous botany lectures, something to pass the time and distract himself from the unbearable silence.

But as he flipped open his notebook, his eyes betrayed him, drifting back to you. The way your hair fluttered in the breeze from the open window caught his attention, almost hypnotizing him. It was like one of those moments in movies where everything slows down, except this wasn't a movie—it was real life, and it was happening to him. Jungwon shook his head slightly, trying to snap out of it, but before he could, you turned and caught him staring.

Time stopped. Or at least, it felt like it. His heart did that weird thing—skipping a beat, maybe doing a backflip, he wasn’t sure—but whatever it was, it was new and unsettling. The worst part? You looked right at him, and for a split second, something electric passed between you. Jungwon nearly dropped his pen, scrambling to look back down at his notes, pretending to be deeply engrossed in the wonders of photosynthesis.

You, on the other hand, felt your own heart jolt, like someone had plugged you into a socket. What was that? You quickly looked away, hoping your cheeks weren't as red as they felt. This was ridiculous. You were just two students, way too early for class, trying to kill time. There was nothing to it… right?

With a final glance at him—now pretending to be the most studious kid in school—you sighed and sat back down at your desk. It wasn't long before more students started to trickle in, breaking the silence and the tension that had settled between you two. As the classroom filled up, you couldn't help but think, "Being early is hectic sometimes. Really hectic." But as you caught Jungwon sneaking another quick glance your way, you couldn't help but wonder if maybe—just maybe—it was worth it.

THE next day, like clockwork, you found yourself back in the empty classroom, early once again. With a resigned sigh, you plopped your bag down on your desk, your eyes immediately drifting to the guy who seemed to share your affinity for punctuality—Jungwon. Of course, he was early again too, sitting there as if he owned the place.

It took every ounce of your self-control not to march right over to him and strike up a conversation. About what? The upcoming exam papers? That seemed like a reasonable excuse. After all, he was the class president, always running around with a stack of papers or trailing behind the teacher like a well-trained puppy. If anyone had a sneak peek at the exam questions, it had to be him.

But before you could gather the nerve, he caught you looking. You quickly looked away, but not before your brain betrayed you and left you staring like a deer in headlights when he asked, "What?"

Your heart skipped a beat, and you scrambled to recover. "What what?" you blurted out, trying to sound nonchalant, though you were sure your voice cracked somewhere in the middle.

"You were staring at me," he said, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

Great. Just great. Here you were, caught red-handed, and by the one guy in school who looked like he stepped out of a teen drama. Seriously, how had you not noticed him before? The way his hair fell perfectly into place, the way his eyes sparkled with that teasing glint—this was the kind of guy you read about in romance novels, not the one you awkwardly shared a classroom with.

You forced yourself to snap out of it, wrestling your thoughts back under control. "I was just…" you started, but the words got stuck somewhere between your brain and your mouth. Think, think! How do you save this? "I was wondering if you knew the questions for the exams… You know?" It was a lame excuse, but half true. You really did want to know if he had the inside scoop, not that he’d share with you.

He didn’t miss a beat, just shrugged and said, "Nope," before burying his nose back in his book like you were nothing more than background noise.

The audacity! Was this guy playing hard to get? Wasn’t that supposed to be your part? Besides, it wasn’t like you were confessing your undying love or anything. You just wanted a little insight into the exams, maybe a shortcut to success, but apparently, that was too much to ask.

You huffed internally, annoyed but also oddly intrigued. After all those rumors you’d heard about him being rude or aloof, maybe they weren’t so far off the mark. But then again, maybe that’s just what made him so damn fascinating. You couldn't help but feel a spark of curiosity mixed with a pinch of frustration.

What was his deal, anyway? You shook your head, determined not to let him get under your skin. If he wanted to play hard to get, then two could play that game.

But as you stole one last glance at him—focused, unbothered, and annoyingly attractive—you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d just found yourself a new challenge. And honestly? The thought of it made you smile.

A MONTH had slipped by, the days blurring together in a repetitive cycle of stolen glances, awkward silences, and unspoken words. Every morning, it was the same routine: you’d arrive early, he’d arrive early, and the two of you would sit in the near-empty classroom, casting furtive looks at each other like middle schoolers with a secret crush. Except this wasn’t middle school, and you weren’t supposed to be developing a crush on Jungwon of all people.

Yet, here you were—completely, utterly smitten with him. It was frustrating, infuriating even. You didn’t know how it happened or when it started, but somehow, you found yourself falling for a guy who was clearly out of your league. And it pissed you off. What kind of cosmic joke was this? The girl who scoffed at romance now reduced to a blushing mess over the class president who barely acknowledged her existence? Ridiculous.

But today, something was different. You were tired of the one-sided staring contest and the endless internal monologues. So, with a surge of courage that surprised even you, you decided to do something about it. You grabbed your pen and a piece of paper, scrawled down a question you could’ve easily looked up on your own, and marched over to his desk, heart pounding like you were about to walk into battle.

Jungwon barely looked up from his book as you slid the paper in front of him, but when he did, the suspicion in his eyes was palpable. “What is this?” he asked, his tone a mix of curiosity and caution, like he was half-expecting you to hand him a bomb.

You swallowed hard, suddenly regretting every life choice that led you to this moment. “Umm… I don’t know this topic,” you muttered, pointing vaguely at the question on the paper. “I was wondering if you could help me out.” The words tumbled out in a rush, and you hated how shy you sounded—like a girl with a crush, which you absolutely, definitely weren’t… except you totally were.

Jungwon raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical, but he didn’t say anything right away. Instead, he just looked at you, really looked at you, and it took everything in you not to melt into a puddle on the floor. The room felt warmer, your cheeks were betraying you with a telltale flush, and you could see him notice, his eyes flickering with a hint of something—amusement, maybe? Or confusion? You weren’t sure, and it only made you more self-conscious.

“You were early, so I thought you’d help,” you added, your voice barely above a whisper now. You cringed internally at how lame that sounded. Was that all you had? The brilliant excuse you came up with after a month of silent pining? Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Jungwon’s gaze softened slightly, and he seemed to hesitate for a moment before speaking. “Okay,” he finally said, his voice gentler than you expected. He picked up the pen, glancing over the question you’d written down. “It’s not that hard, you know. You just need to break it down step by step.”

As he started explaining the topic, you couldn’t help but notice the way his voice lowered slightly, as if he was trying to make the lesson more personal, more focused on just the two of you. Your heart did a little flip, and you cursed yourself for feeling this way. Why did he have to be so… considerate? And why did that make you fall for him even more?

You tried to focus on what he was saying, but your thoughts kept drifting, your eyes tracing the curve of his lips, the way his hair fell into his eyes, the little furrow of concentration on his brow. He was explaining something about the subject, but all you could think was how close you were to him, how easy it would be to just—

“Are you listening?” Jungwon’s voice broke through your reverie, and you blinked, realizing you’d zoned out completely.

“Uh, yeah, totally,” you lied, nodding a little too enthusiastically. “Step by step, right?”

He chuckled softly, the sound making your heart skip a beat. “Yeah, step by step,” he repeated, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Maybe next time, you should ask me before the class starts. I could explain it better.”

You nodded again, feeling your cheeks heat up even more. “I’ll, uh, keep that in mind.”

As he handed the paper back to you, his fingers brushed against yours, sending a jolt of electricity up your arm. You swore you saw the faintest hint of a smile on his lips before he looked back down at his book, as if nothing had happened.

And that was it. Just a simple exchange, a brief conversation. But it left you reeling, your mind spinning with what-ifs and maybes. You hated how much power he had over you, how a simple touch or a single word could leave you breathless.

But as you walked back to your desk, clutching the paper like it was a lifeline, you couldn’t help but feel a tiny spark of hope. Maybe, just maybe, this whole “crush on Jungwon” thing wasn’t as hopeless as you thought.

THE next few days were a blur of poorly disguised excuses and feigned curiosity. You found yourself inventing questions about classwork you didn’t really need help with, hovering around his desk like a moth to a flame, trying to catch his attention in any way possible. Every morning, you’d plan a new approach—subtle, of course, because the last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable. But, honestly, you were desperate to see if he was as affected by you as you were by him.

Today was no different, except you decided to up your game. You arrived at school even earlier than usual, the halls eerily quiet as you made your way to the classroom. Your heart pounded in your chest as you placed a can of cold coffee on Jungwon’s desk, trying to steady your nerves by sipping from your own. It wasn’t like you were trying to impress him or anything… okay, maybe you were. Just a little.

When Jungwon looked up from his book, his eyes flickered with surprise. “You didn’t have to,” he muttered, his voice soft but tinged with gratitude.

You waved your hand dismissively, trying to play it cool. “It’s no big deal,” you said, forcing a nonchalant smile. But the truth? You had to beg your older brother for the money to buy those coffee cans. It had taken a solid half-hour of bargaining, and you’d only won him over by sacrificing your stash of snacks for the week. The memory of your brother’s smug grin as he pocketed your snacks made you sigh internally, but you quickly brushed it off. It was worth it, right?

Sliding into the seat next to Jungwon, you tried to strike up a conversation, anything to break the silence. You had liked him for almost two months now, and the thought of not at least trying to get closer to him made your chest tighten with regret.

“So, Jungwon,” you began, doing your best to sound casual. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

He looked up at you, his expression a mix of surprise and curiosity. The question had clearly caught him off guard. After a moment, he shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

You hesitated, feeling your pulse quicken as you pushed the conversation a step further. “What kind of girls do you… like?”

Jungwon blinked, his eyes narrowing slightly as if trying to read your intentions. “Why are you asking?” he countered, his tone a little more guarded, making you freeze in place.

The cold coffee can in your hand suddenly felt like it was made of ice, the chill seeping through your fingers. You hadn’t thought this far ahead. What were you supposed to say now? Your brain scrambled for an answer, but nothing came. It was like your mind had short-circuited under his steady gaze, leaving you utterly defenseless.

“I, um…” you stammered, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. This was a disaster. Why did you think this was a good idea? “Just curious,” you mumbled, barely able to meet his eyes.

Jungwon didn’t say anything for a moment, just watched you with that calm, unreadable expression that always made your heart do funny things. But then, to your surprise, a small, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Curious, huh?” he repeated, and there was something in his tone—something teasing, maybe even amused.

“Yeah,” you breathed, clinging to the tiny thread of hope that he wasn’t about to shut you down entirely. “Just… curious.”

Jungwon glanced down at the coffee can on his desk, then back at you. “Well,” he started slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. “I guess I like girls who are straightforward.”

Straightforward? Your mind raced as you tried to decode the meaning behind his words. Was he saying he liked the fact that you were being direct? Or was this some kind of test? You weren’t sure if you should feel encouraged or even more nervous.

“I see,” you said, nodding slowly as if you understood perfectly, even though your thoughts were all over the place. “That’s… good to know.”

He chuckled softly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. “You’re something else, you know that?”

Your heart skipped a beat, the compliment—or was it a compliment?—hanging in the air between you. You couldn’t tell if he was being serious or just messing with you, but either way, it made your pulse race.

Before you could muster a response, the first few students began trickling into the classroom, breaking the moment. Jungwon looked away, his attention shifting back to his book, and you were left staring at the side of his face, wondering what the hell just happened.

You bit your lip, trying to suppress the mix of emotions swirling inside you—excitement, embarrassment, maybe even a bit of hope. Whatever this was, it was complicated. But you couldn’t deny that you were falling deeper into this crush with every passing day.

And maybe, just maybe, there was a chance he was starting to notice you too.

THE next day, you walked into the classroom half expecting to see Jungwon in his usual spot, buried in his books or daydreaming out the window. But today, his desk was empty. You paused, staring at the vacant seat with a frown, your eyes immediately darting around the room. His bag was there, resting on the chair, so he was definitely somewhere in the building. But where?

You couldn’t help the surge of worry that bubbled up. Without much thought, you placed your bag on your desk and slipped back out of the classroom, determined to find him. The halls were quiet, the morning light filtering through the windows, casting long shadows on the floor as you passed classroom after classroom.

And then, as you approached the music room, a familiar sound caught your ear. A soft melody strummed on a guitar, followed by a voice so smooth and warm that it made your heart skip a beat.

“But baby I wanna know, I know you feel it too.”

The lyrics, so tender and romantic, made your chest tighten. You couldn’t help yourself; you peeked into the slightly ajar door, and there he was—Jungwon, sitting with a guitar on his lap, singing like he was pouring his soul into the words.

“Tell me, tell me, you feel it too.”

You were mesmerized, almost transfixed by the way his fingers moved effortlessly over the strings, the way his voice filled the room with such raw emotion. It was like stumbling upon a secret that wasn’t meant to be discovered, but now that you had, you couldn’t look away. He was so lost in the music, so unguarded, that it made something flutter in your chest.

Just as you were about to lose yourself completely in the moment, you shifted your weight, causing the door to creak loudly. The sound echoed in the quiet room, and Jungwon’s fingers stilled on the guitar strings. His singing stopped abruptly, and your heart sank as you realized you’d been caught.

You cursed yourself internally, mentally kicking yourself for being so careless. You wanted to disappear, to melt into the floor and never be seen again. Instead, you stood frozen as Jungwon turned to the door, his expression a mix of surprise and something else you couldn’t quite read.

He opened the door wider, and there you were, standing there with guilt written all over your face. “What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice not exactly mad but definitely curious, with a hint of something like embarrassment.

You panicked, your mind racing for an excuse that didn’t sound completely ridiculous. “I, um… I was going to the washroom, but then I heard your voice,” you blurted out, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. The washroom was technically in this direction, so at least that part wasn’t a total lie.

He raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical but not outright dismissive. You could see him weighing your words, trying to decide if you were telling the truth or just making something up on the spot.

Trying to ease the tension, you quickly added, “You sing really well. And you play the guitar really well too.” The compliment slipped out, genuine and a bit rushed, but you hoped it would soften the awkwardness of the situation.

Jungwon’s expression shifted slightly, the corners of his lips curling into a small, almost shy smile. The tension in his shoulders seemed to relax, and you felt a tiny bit of relief wash over you. Maybe you hadn’t completely ruined everything.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost bashful as he glanced down at the guitar. He looked back up at you, his eyes meeting yours for a brief, intense moment that made your heart skip again.

You stood there, unsure of what to say next, the air between you filled with a strange, charged silence. It wasn’t awkward exactly, but it was… different. Like something had shifted between you, and neither of you knew how to navigate it just yet.

Finally, Jungwon broke the silence, clearing his throat. “I didn’t know anyone was listening,” he admitted, his tone softer now, more open. “I usually come here to practice when no one’s around.”

You nodded, understanding more than you let on. “It was beautiful,” you said, the words coming out before you could stop them. “I’m glad I heard it.”

Jungwon’s eyes flickered with something you couldn’t quite place, but he didn’t say anything else. Instead, he just gave you a small nod, a silent acknowledgment that made your heart flutter.

And as you walked back to class together, the awkwardness faded, replaced by a comfortable silence. You couldn’t help but feel like maybe, just maybe, this was the beginning of something new, something you hadn’t expected but were starting to hope for.

THE next few months, yes, you heard it right—months—were a whirlwind of emotions you never thought you'd experience. You were completely smitten by this guy who, in your eyes, looked nothing short of kissable—ehm, cute. Every time you saw him, it was like a bolt of lightning hit you, sending sparks through your entire being. It was like he was a magnetic force, drawing you in with his every move, his every smile.

You started arriving at school even earlier, just to have those few extra minutes with him before the day officially began. He started bringing you little snacks—well, snack singular, really—usually just a small chocolate bar. It wasn't much, but it was the only thing allowed in school, and it made your heart race every time he handed it to you with that shy, slightly awkward smile. The chocolate bars were small gestures, but to you, they felt like grand romantic declarations.

And now, six months in, you were head over heels. The urge to confess your feelings grew stronger every day, especially when you watched him sing in the music room. There was something about the way he lost himself in the music, the way his fingers moved over the guitar strings, that made your heart ache with the need to tell him how you felt. But every time the words bubbled up in your throat, you'd swallow them down, too scared of what might happen if you actually let them out.

This morning, like so many before, you found yourself sitting in the music room before anyone else arrived, watching him with love-struck eyes as he sang. He was completely in his element, and you couldn’t help but stare, completely mesmerized. Could he see it in your eyes? Could he feel the way your heart beat just a little bit faster every time he looked your way?

And then, suddenly, the sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway, snapping you both out of your reverie. Jungwon’s eyes widened in panic as he quickly placed the guitar down, his gaze darting around the room like a trapped animal. You could feel the tension in the air as he turned to you, his expression a mix of fear and determination.

Without a word, he grabbed your hand, pulling you to your feet. His touch sent a jolt through you, but there was no time to dwell on it as he led you to the window. Your heart was pounding in your chest as he pushed the window open, glancing back at you with a look that said he was out of options. Then, with a quick, fluid motion, he climbed out the window and jumped down, landing on the grass below with surprising grace.

You peered out the window, your stomach twisting in knots as you looked at the distance to the ground. It wasn’t that far, but it wasn’t exactly close either. Your mind raced with all the possible ways this could go wrong—what if you broke something? What if you landed awkwardly and twisted your ankle? But before you could spiral too far, Jungwon’s voice cut through your thoughts.

“Jump!” he called up to you, his arms outstretched, as if swearing that he'd catch you. His expression was serious, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. He was right—if you didn’t jump, you’d both be in trouble. But still, the fear gripped you, rooting you to the spot.

“No,” you muttered, shaking your head as you stared down at him. The distance suddenly seemed much greater from where you were standing, and the thought of hurling yourself out the window made your legs feel like jelly. What if you really did break something?

Jungwon's brows furrowed in concern, but there was no time to waste. He glanced back toward the door, hearing the footsteps growing louder, closer. “I promise, I’ll catch you,” he urged, his voice softening but still firm. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and for a moment, you were torn between the fear that held you back and the trust that urged you forward. His eyes were so sincere, so full of determination that you felt a wave of warmth wash over you. He was standing there, arms wide open, waiting for you—willing you to trust him.

Taking a deep breath, you squeezed your eyes shut and jumped. The world seemed to blur around you for a split second, and your stomach flipped as you felt the rush of air against your skin. But just as quickly as it started, it ended—your feet didn’t even touch the ground before you felt strong arms wrapping around you, steadying you, holding you close.

You opened your eyes, and there he was, right in front of you, his face mere inches from yours. For a moment, neither of you moved, the world around you fading away as you got lost in each other’s gaze. His arms were still around you, and you could feel the warmth of his body, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

“See? I told you I’d catch you,” he whispered, a small, teasing smile tugging at his lips.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding, your own lips curving into a smile. “I guess I owe you one,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Maybe you can pay me back with another chocolate bar,” he teased, his tone light and playful, but there was something else there too—something softer, more intimate.

You could’ve said something witty or sarcastic—anything to break the tension—but your thoughts were abruptly hijacked when you caught sight of the small, wriggling creature on your school shirt's sleeve. A worm. Your stomach flipped in disgust, and a scream threatened to burst from your lips. It was so small, so insignificant, yet so utterly terrifying in that moment. Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared at the offending creature, unable to move or even breathe.

But before you could make a sound, before that scream could escape, something else captured your attention entirely.

Jungwon’s lips were suddenly on yours, soft yet firm, silencing the scream before it could even start. Your eyes widened in shock, your brain struggling to catch up with what was happening. He was kissing you. Kissing. You.

You barely registered his hand brushing the worm off your sleeve, the disgusting creature forgotten in the instant that his lips met yours. All you could focus on was the warmth of his mouth against yours, the way his breath mingled with yours, the way his hand gently cupped the back of your neck as if reassuring you that everything was okay.

Your entire body froze, every nerve ending buzzing with electricity. You’d never been kissed before—not like this, not by someone who made your heart race and your knees weak. Your hands hovered awkwardly by your sides, unsure of where to go or what to do. How did one kiss back? What were you supposed to do with your lips, your tongue, your everything? Your mind raced, but the longer he kissed you, the more you began to relax into it, the fear and anxiety melting away, replaced by something warm and sweet.

Jungwon didn’t pull away. Instead, he deepened the kiss, his lips moving against yours in a way that was both gentle and insistent, coaxing a response from you. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, your inexperience obvious, but he didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he seemed to find it endearing. His hands slid down to your waist, drawing you closer, and you could feel the reassuring strength in his grip.

Hesitantly, you began to kiss him back, your movements tentative, unsure. You tried to mimic what he was doing, the way his lips moved, the way he tilted his head just so. It wasn’t perfect—far from it, actually—but Jungwon seemed more than happy to guide you, his lips teaching yours, patiently, sweetly.

Every nerve in your body was on high alert, your senses overwhelmed by the closeness of him, the smell of his cologne, the warmth of his skin against yours. Your heart was hammering in your chest, so loud you were sure he could hear it, but he didn’t say anything. He just kept kissing you, his touch gentle yet firm, as if he had all the time in the world to show you how this worked.

The world outside that window, the risk of getting caught, the fear that had gripped you moments before—all of it vanished, leaving just the two of you in this moment. The air was charged with tension, the kind that made your skin tingle and your thoughts scatter like leaves in the wind. The kiss was both an anchor and a storm, grounding you even as it swept you away.

After what felt like an eternity—but was probably only a few seconds—Jungwon finally pulled back, his lips lingering on yours for just a moment longer before he looked at you, his breath mingling with yours in the small space between you. His eyes were dark and unreadable, filled with a thousand unspoken things that made your heart flutter all over again.

You opened your mouth to say something—anything—but the words got tangled up in your throat, your mind still reeling from what had just happened. Your lips tingled from the kiss, your heart still racing like it was trying to break free from your chest.

Jungwon’s thumb brushed gently across your cheek, his touch light and comforting. “Sorry,” he whispered, though the small, crooked smile on his lips told you he wasn’t really sorry at all. He looked at you with that same intensity that had drawn you to him in the first place, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat all over again.

You shook your head, words still eluding you. What was there to be sorry for? He’d kissed you—kissed you—and even if it had been a spur-of-the-moment thing, a way to keep from getting caught, it had been perfect. Terrifying and thrilling and absolutely perfect.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, his voice a low murmur that made your heart do somersaults in your chest.

You nodded, finally finding your voice, though it was much softer than you intended. “Yeah… I’m… I’m okay.”

His smile widened just a bit, a hint of mischief dancing in his eyes. “Good,” he said simply, as if that was all that mattered.

You stood there, your mind still trying to process everything that had just happened, your lips still tingling from his kiss. You wanted to say something more, to let him know how much that kiss had meant to you, but before you could, the sound of footsteps outside the window snapped you both back to reality.

Jungwon’s eyes flicked toward the door, his expression becoming serious again. He gently took your hand, squeezing it reassuringly before leading you away from the window, back into the safety of the school grounds. But even as you walked, the memory of his kiss lingered, warm and sweet, a secret just for the two of you to share.

yang jungwon fic recs!

★ the language of flowers - @soobnny (jungwon’s just every bit in love with the student council president who keeps visiting his flowershop OR in which you find solace in a flowershop, and its owner’s grandson finds solace in you.)

★ GARDENING CLUB MASTERLIST - @snowbabys (you heard jungwon isn’t one of many friends, a silent and closed guy, and it’s not a surprise when he barely blinks in your direction when you join the gardening club. it is a surprise when he starts to show interest in you and does anything to be close.)

★ ❣︎ ⎯⎯ you’re mine . - @goldenhypen

★ infrunami - @jennaissantes (PROMPT: ‘fixing their tie’)

★ LOVE NEWS ! — YJW SMAU - @hanniluvi (BREAKING NEWS! valentine’s is right around the corner, yet you still had no partner. you didn’t think too much of it, you probably thought it was just another year where you’ll be single again. not a big issue at all. however, your favorite gossip account proves you wrong! what if you find out someone actually likes you? after gathering all the hints you’ve been given, you narrowed your list down to one person. that one person ended up being yang jungwon, one of your crushes. there’s no way, one of your crushes actually liking you back? will you believe it’s just fake or actual love news?)

★ ADMIRING YOU ! - @hanniluvi (You've never had good luck with dating. You just couldn't seem to make it work. You were led to believe that was how things would always be. You had no idea but, Jungwon, one of your classmates has been crushing on you for a long time. But because you are you, you never paid attention to him in class. After seeing him staring at you for a time, you finally identify him as a barista at the aroma café. Will anything ever change for you? Will you be able to establish a committed relationship at last?)

★ nice to meet you, boyfriend!◞♡ ⃗ y.jw - @delcakoo (when a strange man approaches you at the grocery store, you call for your "boyfriend", who has just cluelessly entered the store, unaware of his new relationship status with you, a complete stranger. hopefully he plays along…)

★ scaring a guy away - @delcakoo

★ cat boy - @jaeyunverse (yang jungwon is pissed his cat likes you more than him. or, in which jungwon’s cat plays cupid and sets you up.)

★ i’m your cat, meow - yang jungwon - @en-dazed (in which jungwon is jealous of a cat)

★ classmate au | yang jungwon - @soobnny

★ Baked with Love - @demusewriter (You once dreamed of having your bakery where everyone could use it as a safe refuge from reality, similar to the shop from your childhood. It seems to work as one of the famous boy groups uses it to hang out to temporarily escape the spotlight, especially by one member who seems to be fond of the place.)

★ in my head - yjw - @j1nniee (you’ve hated jungwon ever since you two met on the train to hogwarts back in first year; he’s self-centered, lazy, and always coming out for you. now in your seventh year, you’ve been named head girl (woohoo!). unfortunately, the head boy position was given to the one and only yang jungwon (boohoo…). with no other choice, you’re forced to face the annoyingly attractive boy and work with him for the rest of the year - if you can even last that long.)

★ A PIN STRAIGHT TO MY HEART - @snwpcktz (the famous decelis academy confession board is where students pin their written feelings on an anonymous sticky note in hopes of their crush reading it. for y/n, this is the perfect opportunity to finally come to terms with the feelings she has for her classmate--yang jungwon. she has everything planned out, from the color of the sticky note she would be using (blue, it's jungwon's favorite color) to the location she would pin it on the board (smackdown in the middle of the decorative heart the student council put up for valentine's day ages ago). but what happens when y/n sees jungwon pinning his own confession note mere seconds before she planned to?)

★ ⌗ attractive things jungwon does ⨾ - @aakomii

★ super shy - yang jungwon - @en-dazed (jungwon isn’t used to having company when he’s studying - especially when the company is one of the most popular girls in school)

★ ♡𓂃 START NOW ! - @loveywon (you and jungwon never really got along, but one morning you're in bed with him and you both don't recognize the room that you're in.)

oh, to be secretly dating jungwon 🫶

take a chance with me - yjw

pairing: school president!jungwon x club president!reader genre: secret dating, highschool, jungwon is jealous with club vice president!sunghoon, FLUFF!! en-drama typa jungwon word count: 2.3k summary: jungwon and you knew it's for the best that you keep your relationship hidden for now, however, things have been hard for jungwon ever since the whole campus started thinking that sunghoon and you make a great pair.

His laugh you'd die for, his laugh you'd die for The kind that colors the sky...

every first monday of the month brought a unique buzz to the broadcasting club. it wasn’t just about club projects or the regular announcements—there was something else in the air, something that made your heart race a little faster. it was the day jungwon, the school body president, would step through the door for his monthly broadcast. to everyone else, it was just routine—an official duty where the admired campus figure would deliver school updates. but to you, it was more than that. it was the one time you could be near him without arousing suspicion.

you, the disciplined and respected president of the broadcasting club, known for your flawless grades and no-nonsense attitude, and jungwon, the school’s golden boy, adored by every girl who passed him in the hallway. on the surface, you were nothing more than polite acquaintances—just two student leaders crossing paths for official business. but beneath that carefully crafted facade, there was so much more that the rest of the school didn’t know.

today, like clockwork, you heard that familiar knock at the door. straightening up, you cleared your throat, trying to act as composed as ever.

“come in,” you called out, keeping your voice steady.

jungwon stepped inside, and the usual chatter of the club quieted down. he smiled politely, his gaze quickly scanning the room until it landed on you. but as usual, you pretended not to notice, staying focused on the papers in front of you.

“here’s the announcement script,” you said, handing it to him without so much as a second glance. your heart pounded, but you maintained your distant, professional facade.

as he took the script from you, his fingers brushed yours—just for a second—and it sent a wave of warmth rushing through you. he didn’t meet your eyes, but you knew what that touch meant. behind the polite smile he wore in front of your club members, there was something more. and you wanted to believe no one noticed the way his fingers lingered, even if just for a heartbeat.

sunghoon, your vice president, leaned back in his chair, completely unaware of the tension. “i’ll review the schedule with y/n before we finalize it. right, president?” he asked, smiling at you like always.

“right,” you replied, forcing a smile back, though your mind was elsewhere. you caught jungwon’s jaw clench slightly, something only you could notice. he had heard the rumors—the whispers around school that you and sunghoon looked like the “perfect couple.” people shipped you two together, even though sunghoon was just a good friend who had no interest in relationships. jungwon never mentioned it, but you could tell it bothered him more than he let on.

as jungwon left the room, a small part of you wondered if that would be your last interaction for the day, but you knew better.

to everyone else, it was official business as usual: the president visiting the broadcasting club to announce the school’s plans and upcoming events. but to you and jungwon, there was an unspoken connection woven into these formalities, hidden beneath the surface of your perfectly poised exteriors. and then there was sunghoon—your broadcasting club’s vice president—always by your side, unaware of the subtle, electric tension that hung between you and jungwon during these monthly meetings.

today, as you navigated the bustling hallways of your school, you could feel eyes on you. it wasn’t unusual; as the strict, organized, and admired president of the broadcasting club, people often looked up to you. but the whispers and glances lately were different, especially when sunghoon walked beside you.

“they look so good together.”

“i swear, they must be secretly dating.”

“she’s always with him. it’s just like one of those romance novels.”

you heard the whispers and pretended not to care. you and sunghoon had always been close friends, working seamlessly together, and despite what people said, you knew there was nothing romantic between you. but there was someone else who wasn’t as indifferent to those rumors.

as you entered your classroom later that morning, your gaze drifted down the hallway, half-expecting to see jungwon pass by on his way to class. your heart skipped a beat when you spotted him. he walked with that calm, composed air, surrounded by a group of his friends. the girls nearby were in full swoon mode, whispering excitedly the moment he appeared. jungwon was the definition of the campus crush—handsome, charming, and utterly out of reach for most.

you quickly looked down, busying yourself with your notes. jungwon couldn’t approach you, not here, not with so many eyes on him. but as his footsteps drew nearer, you froze. was he really coming over? the air around you tensed, your fingers tightening around your pen. please don’t. not in front of everyone…

and then, he walked straight toward your desk—but not to you. instead, he leaned over to your classmate, the one seated directly in front of you.

“hey,” jungwon said casually, flashing that easygoing smile that made every girl’s heart flutter. “can i borrow that biology book you mentioned last week?”

your heart sank and surged all at once. he wasn’t here for you—but then again, maybe he was. his left hand rested on your desk as he spoke to your classmate, his fingers so close you could feel the warmth radiating from them. you glanced down, glaring at his hand as though it had betrayed you. did he really have to lean on your desk?

your classmate handed him the book, completely oblivious to the silent turmoil you were in. jungwon didn’t look at you, but you could sense the faintest hint of a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

“thanks,” he said smoothly, turning to leave. but before he walked away, his hand brushed over your desk once more, as if to remove something he’d forgotten. you glanced down after he left and saw it—wrapped candy with a crumpled note tucked beneath.

your fingers trembled as you carefully unfolded the note, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. the message inside was simple, but it made your heart race:

“hi gorgeous, i miss u :( just want to tell you how much i want to hold your hand right now. CU l8r <3”

a smile tugged at your lips despite your best efforts to remain composed. you crumpled the note back into your palm, hiding it away before anyone noticed. that brief interaction had felt like an eternity, and your heart still raced from the near disaster of him actually talking to you. but now, all you could think about was the note, and the secret rendezvous waiting after school.

the day crawled by, and soon enough, the afternoon bell signaled the time for jungwon’s monthly broadcast. the familiar hum of equipment filled the broadcasting room as you and sunghoon prepared for the transmission. you kept things professional as always, though you could sense the mounting tension.

when jungwon arrived, the atmosphere shifted instantly. his usual calm demeanor was in place, but you saw the slight flicker in his eyes when he glanced at you standing next to sunghoon. it was subtle—just a brief tightening of his jaw, a flicker of something unspoken—but you knew what it meant.

you handed him the microphone, nodding as you spoke in your most official voice. “the floor is yours, president.”

“thank you,” jungwon replied, taking the mic with practiced ease.

as jungwon spoke into the mic, laying out the plans for the month, you kept your eyes on the monitor, pretending to focus on the broadcast. his voice was smooth and steady, but you couldn’t ignore the way it made your heart skip.

“...and as we move into the second semester, we look forward to increased collaboration between our students and the research institute,” jungwon announced, his voice echoing through every classroom.

you felt a tug, something beyond the words, and against your better judgment, you glanced at him. to your surprise, he was already looking at you. just for a second, his eyes held yours before he turned back to the camera. it was quick—barely noticeable—but it sent a flutter through your chest.

in that tiny moment, you knew. even with the whole school listening, it felt like the words were just for you.

meanwhile, sunghoon remained oblivious, casually checking the sound levels as jungwon spoke. he leaned back in his chair, totally unaware of the silent storm brewing between you and jungwon.

the broadcast ended without a hitch, and jungwon handed the mic back to you. “good job,” you said, keeping your voice professional.

“thanks,” jungwon replied. he was all business now, but as he walked past you toward the door, his fingers brushed your hand, a fleeting touch meant only for you.

sunghoon, who was packing up the equipment, didn’t notice a thing. you wished you could feel the same ease, but every time sunghoon stood close to you, or when he smiled too casually, you felt the weight of jungwon’s gaze, the jealousy simmering beneath his calm surface.

after school, you took your usual route, heading in the opposite direction from jungwon as always. the two of you were careful—no one could suspect that the broadcasting club president and the school body president were secretly dating. but as you turned down the familiar alleyway behind the school, there he was, leaning against the brick wall, waiting for you with that familiar mischievous smile. the moment your eyes met, you felt the weight of the day melt away.

“hey,” he said softly, his voice no longer the cool, composed tone of the school president, but warm and affectionate—just for you.

“hey,” you replied, your smile growing as you walked toward him.

without saying a word, he slipped your backpack off your shoulders and pulled you into his arms, his fingers intertwining with yours like it was the most natural thing in the world. in that moment, the tension of the day—the whispers, the teasing, the rumors—melted away. everything faded the instant you were alone with him, the world outside forgotten.

“you have no idea how hard it was to keep a straight face during that broadcast,” he murmured against your hair. “standing there, talking to the entire school, while you were right there next to sunghoon.”

you smiled into his chest, feeling the warmth of his embrace. “sunghoon? really? you know he doesn’t care about the rumors. he’s just doing his job.”

jungwon sighed, resting his chin on your head. “i know. but still… i hate that people keep pairing you two together.”

“i don’t care what they think,” you replied softly. “i only care about you.”

jungwon smiled down at you, his eyes filled with affection as he laced his fingers through yours. “i know. and that’s all that matters.” he gently tugged you closer, his forehead resting against yours. “but sometimes i wish i could just—”

“just what?” you teased, smiling at how cute he looked when he was flustered.

he hesitated for a moment, before breaking into a mischievous grin. “sometimes i just want to make it obvious to everyone that you’re mine. forget all the secrecy.”

you laughed softly, your heart fluttering at his words. “we can’t, remember? the school would lose its mind.”

jungwon groaned, his hand tightening around yours. “i know. but i miss you so much during the day. all those girls swooning over me in the hallway… it’s hard not to tell them i’m already taken.”

“well,” you said, leaning in closer, your lips brushing his cheek, “you don’t have to worry. i’m the only one who gets to hold your hand after school.”

he chuckled softly, squeezing your hand. “and i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“i missed you,” jungwon murmured softly, his thumb gently brushing against your hand. “it felt like forever since i last saw you.”

his voice, low and tender, sent a warmth through you that rivaled the sunlight, and you couldn’t help but smile at how much those simple words made your heart flutter.

you laughed softly, squeezing his hand. “you saw me at lunch. in fact, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

he smirked, clearly proud of himself. “what? borrowing a book from your classmate isn’t allowed anymore?” he teased, though his eyes sparkled with something more.

“you know exactly what you were doing,” you shot back, playfully nudging him. “leaving a note like that? what if someone had seen it?”

“no one did,” jungwon replied smoothly, pulling you closer to him. “besides, i like the thrill of almost getting caught.”

you rolled your eyes, though the smile tugging at your lips was impossible to hide. “you’re impossible.”

“but you love me anyway,” he said softly, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. there was a gentleness in his voice, one that only came out when it was just the two of you.

you leaned into him, resting your head against his shoulder as the world around you grew quieter. in the dim light of the alley, away from prying eyes, the two of you could finally be yourselves—no rumors, no pretenses. just you and jungwon, hand in hand, hearts racing in sync.

“i do,” you whispered, closing your eyes as you let yourself sink into the comfort of his presence. “i love you.”

the words felt like a promise, a secret meant only for the two of you. and in that moment, nothing else mattered.

SYNOPSIS! TRBL, the new rookie girl group, is taking over the kpop industry. KL learns quickly that being the leader means you have the most influence. Because she is the sister of ENHYPEN's Sunoo, the ex-girlfriend of ENHYPEN's Jungwon, and an ex-SM trainee, KL finds herself in scandals before the group even debuts. Will TRBL overcome the drama and climb to the top or will KL's past take over their success?

idol!yang jungwon x fem idol!oc

STATUS! ongoing - updates every wednesday & friday @ 9pm CST

WARNING! lots of vulgar language and immature topics; teenagers being teenagers

GENRE! fluff, lil angst, exs to friends to lovers, love triangle/square, SLOWburn

profiles!

trbl

enhypen

friends

chapters!

1! WHO CHEERED!?

1.1! DSORDR

2! BITCHHHH YOU DID IT!!! + written

3! oh.

4! my little parasite + written

5! patient #4 has escaped!!!

5.1! you’re actually sick

6! good ole nepotism huh

6.1! HATERS GON HATE

7! everyone is fighting

8! nvm its not okay and im not okay

8.1! always here for you

9! but she’s crazy

9.1! 4 months were not wasted! + written

10! have a safe flight!!

10.1! WE MADE IT!!!

11! its the most wonderful time of the year

12! hey princess

13! FAWKKKKKKK

14! would that be so bad? + written

14.1! welp.

15! it’s just a publicity stunt + written

16! I WANT TO THANK BEYONCÉ! + written

17! IM JUST A GIRL, OKAY!?

18! fighting demons.

19! they are just boys

20! pls leave🙏 + written

21! get a room!! + written .3k 1.1.24

22! coming soon

TAGLIST! open <3 (purple means i can't tag you)

@sthinqsz @hwalllllllelujah @lovelymura @ja4hyvn @wonamour @tomorrowbymoa-together @luviehyck @chloexc @w0nslvr @electrobutterfly @kgneptun @nikiswifiee @heeseungspookie @jwonistic @pshwrldd @enhabooks @noname-123s-things

to be added please send an ask, dm, or leave a note!

author's note! hello! i have moved and am starting university so now i have more time to write!! expect weekly updates on wednesdays and fridays! enjoy!! <3

AAAHHHH

burn

rating: explicit

member: jungwon

notes: fem!reader, reader is a couple years older than him, acquaintances to lovers, medieval/renaissance (?) royalty au (i made the time period as vague as possible so anywhere from the 1500s to 1700s should be fine i guess), talks of marriage, loss of virginity, unprotected sex

a/n: IMPORTANT! i was hesitant to put this out at first because i know there's tension when it comes to explicit content regarding jungwon, but i didn't make this out to be anything too crazy, so no hard/taboo kinks as i don't feel quite okay writing those for him as of now. i did enjoy writing this piece as i'm a history buff and love the drama. of royal courts so,,,please enjoy!

it was getting too much.

the stares, the "innocent" touches, the silences that followed each strained conversation.

you had been patient. you had been steadfast. you had stood your ground.

but the flicker of desire inside you was slowly catching on, and you know, it would soon be roaring fiercely despite your efforts to tamp it down.

you gather your skirts and trudge on out of the library, knowing the princess would be looking for you, given the length of time you've been away. the hallway is quiet, as you expected. the end of supper time is drawing near, and everyone in the castle would soon retire to their private chambers.

the princess was dining with her family in her father's royal suite, along with a handful of courtiers and ladies-in-waiting, much like yourself. you had excused yourself for a moment under the guise that you were in need of the privy, but in truth, you could not bear to be in the room with him any longer.

he'd been staring, longer than he should be, and you were afraid that someone would take notice.

you had stood behind the princess, curtsying briefly before asking to take your leave. she waved you off without a second thought, though you did not miss the questioning glint in her eye as she did so.

you caught his gaze briefly just before you left.

prince jungwon had smiled in your direction, seemingly amused at your flustered state.

you suddenly blank as you turn a corner, your shoulder colliding with something, causing you to stumble backward. you reach out instinctively to steady yourself, just as a hand grabs you by the arm.

"my lady," a voice croons in your ear, and you feel your dinner churning inside you.

you straighten yourself out, smoothing down the wrinkles in your dress as you look jungwon in the eye.

"your grace," you begin. "i was just on the way back to supper."

"no need," jungwon informs with a tilt of his head. "supper has ended. my sister does seem to want to know where you've wandered off to, though."

you swallow thickly. "i will return to her chambers right away."

you bow, hoping he would drop the conversation, but you feel his hand lay gently on your shoulder. you freeze, acutely aware that no man who isn't your lover or husband should be touching you like this in public.

"i'm sure she would not mind if you stayed out a little longer?" jungwon says as you fiddle with the lace trim on your bodice.

"doing what, your grace?" you question, turning back to look at him.

jungwon smiles, his dimples prominent in the firelit hall.

"take a walk with me," jungwon offers.

"if she asks where you've been, you can always say you were with me."

you draw in a breath. "i don't think that would be wise."

"my sister has five other ladies-in-waiting to attend to her. one would not be amiss," jungwon tries to convince you, taking your hand in his.

"what i meant was, it would not be appropriate to be left alone with you," you protest, watching as he lifts your hand to his lips, brushing them gently over your knuckles.

your skin tingles with a feeling you can't quite place.

"and why not?" jungwon asks, running his thumb over the spot where he had kissed your hand.

you look into his large, cat-like eyes. you're bewildered at how dashing he looks in this proximity, the sharp line of his nose exaggerated by the shadows cast by the torches around you. his lips curve into another one of his handsome smiles, and the way he looks at you is more than enough cause for you to shake inwardly with want.

"you know why," you finally answer. "it is not proper."

jungwon cocks his head to the side as if waiting for you to continue.

"we're not betrothed, or known lovers, for that matter. the direction we're heading..."

you pause, hoping jungwon would understand what you're talking about.

"it's dangerous."

"do you not hold any affection for me, lady ______?" jungwon addresses you formally, perhaps a jest, given the smirk playing on his lips.

"i had thought you did," jungwon continues, reaching out to toy with a loose strand of your hair that seemed to have fallen from the intricate braids that decorate your head.

"why would you think that?" you challenge. your heart beats twice as fast now.

the flicker of flames begins to crackle.

"you do not throw yourself at me like the other ladies in this castle do," jungwon replies, his thumb ghosting over your cheek and down your jaw.

"you avoid me, make any excuse to separate yourself from me," jungwon goes on.

"but when you do find yourself in my presence, your eyes cannot seem to leave mine."

you inhale sharply.

it's true. much like earlier, you make such efforts to create as much distance as possible between you and jungwon. like a fox slinking away from its predator.

but to you, jungwon was like a city cat: sly and clever. despite the couple of years you had on him, he was always one step ahead. you could never escape him. it didn't matter how grand his family's castle was, you will always find your way to each other.

"do you hold any affection for me, your grace?" you ask, raising a brow.

jungwon chuckles at this.

"of course."

your eyes widen at his admission and a laugh escapes the prince's lips.

"you thought i would shy away from such a confession?" jungwon taunts, stepping closer, his hands resting on your waist.

the fire burns brighter, still.

jungwon leans in and panic fills you. you were not in one of the castle's secluded corners where shadows are ready to conceal whatever is to come next. anyone could walk by and find you and the prince in this compromising position.

but all is forgotten when jungwon presses his lips against yours, gentle and cautious, as if wary that he might scare you off.

as a lady of a respectable background, you have always been reminded by your family to keep your virtue with you. you are not to mess with boys and no such inappropriate behavior shall be tolerated from you.

as a lady of a respectable background, you had your way around this.

this is not the first time you've been kissed, but the weak peck of lips against your own when you were but a young girl was nothing compared to the way jungwon's lips seems to be melting against yours.

you pull jungwon closer by the front of his tunic, feeling the firm muscles shifting beneath.

"we mustn't," you protest weakly against his lips. "not here."

jungwon pulls away, breathing heavily, eyes dark as he gazes at you. you stare back at him, anticipation coursing through your body.

what now?

"to my chambers," jungwon whispers, grasping your hand in his. you start to protest as he pulls you along, but he shushes you.

"quickly," jungwon urges, dashing down the hallway towards his room.

luckily for both of you, your destination had been nearby, and no guards are on patrol on this side of the castle. you arrive in front of the heavy double doors of jungwon's room, both of you out of breath and brimming with feelings you did not care to address.

jungwon pushes you against the hard wooden doors, lips pressing up against yours once more. you let out a surprised sound, but it's caught in your throat when you feel jungwon's hand running down the side of your leg. he dips down, grabbing the back of your knee, before hooking your leg around his waist.

you gasp, feeling him press up against you. you feel something hard beneath his breeches.

the flames are catching on, moving up farther and farther.

"your grace," you start, increasingly worried that someone would see you.

"forgive me," jungwon says with a sheepish grin. "restraint is hard to come by when you're around."

you flush at his words, but before you can reply, jungwon turns the knob to one side of the door, hurriedly pushing you inside before letting it close behind him. he turns the lock in place and lets the second steel bar fall across the wood, ensuring the utmost privacy for the two of you.

"your grace," you begin once more.

"jungwon," he says pointedly. "you may call me by my given name."

you gulp, the situation finally catching up to you. "jungwon."

"i...i do not wish to give myself to someone i will not marry," you explain, holding jungwon at arm's length. he examines your face, gently brushing your hair away from your forehead.

"we won't do anything you don't want to," jungwon reassures, placing a kiss on your forehead.

"but that's precisely it," you say, circling your arms around jungwon's neck.

"i want to do everything," you whisper.

"i want to do everything with you."

jungwon raisies an eyebrow, a grin tugging at his lips.

"are you the one proposing to me, my lady?" jungwon teases, his hand pressing gently on your lower abdomen. he travels down further between your legs, rubbing you through your gown.

you sigh, clutching at jungwon's clothes. you lean forward to leave a trail of kisses down his neck, enjoying the way he groans softly.

"is there any other woman you wish to marry?" you ask, smiling against his neck.

"no," jungwon answers simply, taking you by surprise as he pushes you towards his perfectly made-up bed, plush with the finest covers and blankets.

you stumble backward onto the cushiony surface, propping yourself up on your elbows as you watch jungwon undo the strings of his breeches. you gasp as he lets them fall, exposing all of his lower body to you.

jungwon catches your eye and leans down, kissing you with newfound vigor.

the fire crackles, just shy of bursting into wild flames.

"we can stop," jungwon murmurs as he pulls away. "whatever you want, my love, i will follow."

you shiver at the endearment, your fingers gently threading through jungwon's hair. with your other hand, you reach down to gather your skirt around your waist.

"i want you," you whisper, kissing jungwon sweetly.

you lay back down on the mattress, watching as jungwon eyes your exposed core with undeniable lust. jungwon bites his lip, guiding his straining length to your entrance. you feel a mild burn as he pushes in, the wet squelch of your arousal reaching your ears as he slips further into you.

you have had a man down there before, but merely with his fingers. the thickness of jungwon's cock contrasts with anything you've felt before, stretching you painfully, but you urge yourself to persist, clawing at jungwon's sleeves.

"my love, my dear," jungwon says, stilling over you.

"wait," you plead. "just, wait."

jungwon kisses you tenderly, stroking one side of your face with his thumb, perhaps in an effort to soothe you. you take increasingly deeper breaths, letting yourself relax in jungwon's embrace.

jungwon gives an experimental thrust, barely there, and you groan, but at this moment, the pain is mixed with a feeling that has you curling your toes.

"again," you pant, looking directly at jungwon's eyes. "slowly, my love."

jungwon moves again, carefully watching your expression. you gasp, lips parting as the sting gives way to a delicious throb within you.

"more," you beg this time. "please, i need to feel you."

jungwon groans, his hips snapping up as he gives in to his instincts.

"oh!" you cry out as the sensations come crashing down on you at once. it feels good, much better than your own fingers or anyone else's. you watch as he disappears and reappears with each thrust, the image so lewd and new to you that it keeps you in a trance.

"look at me, ______," jungwon says lowly. you obey, peering up at the young man. he has a frenzied look in his eyes, wild with something burning inside him.

the flames roar, engulfing you, him, your bodies.

jungwon grabs your hips, forcing you further down his bed. you throw your head back, relishing in the way he seems to go even deeper. you lock your legs around him, never wanting this feeling to end.

the bed creaks with the effort of holding up your passionate lovemaking, and you worry for a fraction of a second if anyone can hear. as if reading your thoughts, jungwon places a lingering kiss on your forehead.

"i think...i plan to marry you within the year," jungwon supplies between labored breaths. "hell, before the next moon if father allows."

you giggle, elated at jungwon's words.

"hardly a choice now that i've given my maidenhood to you," you comment mischievously. one side of jungwon's mouth raises in a smirk before he dives down to latch at one side of your neck.

"you're mine, love," jungwon declares. "all mine."

you preen at his words, his pace picking up. you're left breathless as he thrusts madly in and out of you. your world is spinning but at the very center of it is jungwon. sweet, handsome jungwon.

"i'm about to—"

"inside," you blurt out without second thought. jungwon's mouth hangs open at your decision, a question evidently making its way out of him.

"you'll get it on my dress, otherwise, and that would raise more questions," you interrupt once more, your breath hitching as jungwon's nails dig into your side.

"by the gods," jungwon curses beneath his breath. "i might have to wed you within a fortnight."

"please," you mewl. "want nothing more than to be your wife, to be yours."

jungwon grunts, pressing a hand down on your abdomen. you yelp, feeling a sudden pressure inside you. it had been a slow thrum of something minutes before, but now a strange sensation grips at you from within.

"s-something's happening," you worry, grasping jungwon's shoulder.

"you're about to finish, my love," jungwon says, pressing down even harder on your belly. you writhe, feeling as if you're about to explode.

"it'll feel good, i promise," jungwon reassures, pressing his lips to your temple. his movements are turning erratic, sweat dripping down his forehead with effort.

"fuck, i'm—"

before jungwon can finish his sentence, he moans loudly in your ear, sinking fully to the hilt inside of you. you feel him spasm inside you and the movement brushes against a spot that has you coming undone, pleasure coursing through every vein in your body.

you cling onto each other, trembling and moaning each other's names.

a minute passes by as you both calm down, skin glistening in the dim light of the dying flames in the fireplace. jungwon is the first to pull away, watching you as you try to catch your breath.

"you look absolutely stunning, my love," jungwon praises, kissing you on the cheek.

you smile, the ache in your body starting to make itself known.

"let me call one of the servants to have a bath drawn for you," jungwon offers, reaching over to the row of service bells next to his bed.

you sit up, letting your gown fall over your legs, concealing any indication of the past hour.

"i think i should be the one to call for them from my own room," you suggest, pulling jungwon back. you snake your arms around his torso, kissing him behind his ear.

"they might grow suspicious," you add, laying your cheek against his firm back.

"very well, then," jungwon agrees, prying himself from your arms. he swiftly dresses, straightening his disheveled hair. he sees you watching and he smiles, taking your face in his and giving you what seemed to be the hundredth kiss that night.

"i suppose you don't want me walking you to your room, either?" jungwon asks, helping you up from his bed.

you shake your head, working out the creases in your skirt and sleeves.

"let's not push our luck, my prince," you warn, patting jungwon's cheek.

---

you enter your bedroom, exhausted and slightly worried. you tried to find the princess to provide a semblance of an explanation but she was nowhere to be found. not in her own chambers, not in the library, not in the parlor. you decided after nearly half an hour of looking that you would handle the situation tomorrow.

you slide the large metal lock of your bedroom door into place, securing you in your bedroom for now. you turn, nearly screaming at the figure standing before you.

"gods!" you shriek, backing into the door, painfully banging your head against the wood.

"oh, shut it," the princess says, pulling you away from the door. she maneuvers you toward your quaint sitting corner, pulling a chair back and urging you to take a seat.

"now," she begins. "i'm not mad. i'm thrilled, to be honest."

"have you worked out a wedding date with my brother, yet?"

mc enemiez! ( ✶ ) idol! jungwon x gg idol! reader ˃ᴗ˂

⸝⸝ SYNOPSIS ‎𐪆 despite jungwon being a #humble leader, he was kinda salty about the fact that his almighty title of the “youngest leader in k-pop” has been taken by blackpink’s brand new juniors. the world goes against jungwon’s wishes in staying as far away from her as possible when they both end up being the new mcs for ‘the show’. ₊˚✸ ༘

⸝⸝ GENRE ‎𐪆 written + social media au, (one-sided) rivalry to lovers au, idolverse + bad attempt at humor :p, angst

⸝⸝ WARNINGS ‎𐪆 some yge slander, messy timestamps, my attempts in being funny lol, some swearing

⸝⸝ STATUS ‎𐪆 completed : 03.09.22 % START : 12.30.21 !

⸝⸝ UPDATE SCHEDULE ‎𐪆 every two days !

⸝⸝ TAGLIST ‎𐪆 taglists are closed !

◖ MASTERLIST ?! — plz stop flirting! ꔛ the emos + sunoo

prologue . . . soompoopy

OO1 . . . mama (socmed+written)

OO2 . . . so what!

OO3 . . . og big 3

OO4 . . . maybe i should

OO5 . . . jungwon urge

OO6 . . . you’re all delulu!

OO7 . . . first time

OO8 . . . oh shoot

OO9 . . . where’s updog

O1O . . . business casual (socmed+written)

O11 . . . ladies man

O12 . . . cat café (socmed+written)

O13 . . . good day

O14 . . . bet ur jealous!

O15 . . . sunghoon (socmed + written)

O16 . . . must resist

O17 . . . i miss her

O18 . . . first episode (written)

⠀⠀⠀ ˓ bonus chapter . . . operation : ynwon (text + written)

O19 . . . ggs

O2O . . . is this a date? (socmed + written)

⠀⠀⠀ ˓ bonus chapter . . . manifestations (socmed + written)

O21 . . . like, like like

O22 . . . i did it again

O23 . . . immense heartbreak

O24 . . . officially doomed

O25 . . . overpriced qtips

O26 . . . janitors closet (written)

⠀⠀⠀ ˓ bonus chapter . . . after school (written)

O27 . . . pretty girl

O28 . . . tug of war (written)

O29 . . . moving out

O30 . . . busted (socmed + written)

O31 . . . sad and disappointing (written)

O32 . . . bf and co-worker

O33 . . . this is a date. (socmed + written)

⠀⠀⠀ ˓ bonus chapter . . . family approval

epilogue . . . first and last

SILENT TREATMENT!

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PAIRING — non idol!yang jungwon x non idol!reader

GENRE — ex friends to lovers, reader ignores jungwon in first bunch of chapters, reader is closed off, fluff, angst, reader is stubborn asf

SYPNOSIS — yn and jungwon, the middle school best friends everyone thought would get into a relationship when they entered highschool. well, they were definitely wrong. after entering highschool, jungwon finds new friends and slowly starts to ignore yn. as much time went on, they became strangers once again, until yn decided to leave. jungwon never noticed that she left, that was until he went for family dinner at yn’s parents house. regret, pain, guilt, is all the boy could feel when her parents mentioned that one of her best friends decided to ignore her, like they were strangers again. as the years of highschool goes past, jungwon becomes closed off, only talking to his friends, wishing he still had her. but what if yn returns for the last year of highschool? will jungwon make an effort to become friends again? or will she be the one ignoring him this time?

FEATURING — aespa: karina, itzy: lia, nctdream: chenle

WARNINGS — talks about being unproductive, cussing, jungwon kinda did reader dirty, MUCH angst

STATUS — COMPLETED

TAGLIST — closed!

A/N — okay ngl im excited for this one hella much bc me and angst 🤝 best friends, also DAMN i have a mf long sypnosis and for what😭😭😭also posting this rn while i work on my niki smau!!!

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000. PROFILES — #wehatehimsquad | simps🤣

001. mf in his feels again😭😭😭

002. fuck this shit, im not coming back💀

003. im (un)fortunately back

004. loml’s here, stfu🫶🏼

005. he’s excited for nothing (heartbreaking!)

006. i hate my life ,, i love my life <3

007. laugh out loud

008. liar liar☠️

009. hes..okay ig?🙄

010. hospitality.. ?

011. new bsf fr🫣

012. miss his dumbass lowkey

013. project..? OH PROJECT

014. speaking terms = no

015. give him a chance atleast (fuck chances!!!!!)

016. so.. what now?

017. plan: get the girl, step one: completed.

018. niki best wingman💪🏼

019. im not ready to talk about if yet

020. social distance

021. not-so normal day with the gang + niki

022. IM CAVING HELP

023. the time has come i fear

024. i never did well in listening skills tests

025. new beginnings… super cool🧍‍♂️

026. both gc’s are going BOOM!🥺

027. date-date? or friend date?

028. so the dance……

029. MRS CHOI AND MR KIM ARE TOGETHER?!

030. and so are ynwon👉🏼

031. love. funny isnt it?

032. ynwon deprived😞

033. silent treatment!

THE END.

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TAGLIST ONE (closed) — @soulsdeadplants @hiqhkey @yunki4evr @lovnayeon @axolotlboo @deeznutsriki @kimjiho1 @emoworu @tomorrowbymoa-together @jwsflower @ayayiiie @yeonjunsleftboob @caty-catts @sunghoonsblackgf @jungwonnieee @sophhloaff @cyuuupid @i4cho @imyuna-06 @viagumi @kimmchijjajang @y4ngjungw0nz @arizejkt19 @lil-iva @stickersim @wonluvrbot @rrvvby @swnheo @facelesswrittes @talks-with-meena @scarfac3 @crazywittysassy @shawkneecaps @cwsana @misavenue @heystarlette @99outros @lachinitaaaaa @jiawji @straykidz0914 @tobiosbbyghorl @mklhyvn @kaeslily @rendezrei @meowtella @ineedcoffeeandtherapy @denleave1088 @blearis @3nh4luvr @life-shining @stephaniekim15 @pjongbb204 @nvertheless

TAGLIST TWO (open) — @/prettysung @/jihyoscrown @/wtfhyuck @/strwberrydinosaur @/ritsusakumasgf @/zqynmlk @/gzeebo @/nyfwyeonjun @/ilvsoup @/hyuckscore @/simjakeissohot @/harperwasstaken1 @/ahnneyong @/enhacolor @/ariafies @/she-is-dreaming @/bennettsprmcy @/jakahbot @/jovibaes @/potaeto-writes-on-wp @/thisisnotjacinta @/hyunjunbaragi @/sweetjaemss