But I'm Trying - Blog Posts

My Student Spirit × Major Grom crossover

Олег Волков умер. Сергей отчаянно сжимает в руках злополучную бумагу, насквозь пропитанную слезами. Его тело всё ещё трясётся, глаза смотрят вдаль, не видя ничего, и он словно всё ещё ощущает знакомое прикосновение, эти родные пальцы в его волосах. Рука тянется к непослушным прядям… Ничего. Некому больше взьерошить ему волосы, поправить чёлку, похлопать по спине, поддерживая в трудную минуту, держать за руку, когда страх сжимает горло… Рука сама находит лезвие, словно во сне, ведь что есть жизнь, если рядом больше нет его.

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Ухмылка Птицы становится ещё шире, когда он наконец триумфально распрямляется, держа в руках волчий кулон. Так вот где ты был всё это время… Взгляд скользит по блестящей металлической поверхности, когда внезапно руку с кулоном накрывают призрачные голубые пальцы. - Э-э-э, не так быстро! Птица лишь звонко смеётся и вертит украшение в руке, словно дразнясь. - Ты ведь не можешь его коснуться, правда? Он встречается взглядом с холодными голубыми глазами призрака. В них плескается чистая ярость в перемешку с едва заметным отчаянием. Птица же словно и не замечает этого, наигранно невинно улыбается и подкидывает кулон вверх, ловя в самый последний момент и крепко сжимая в ладони. В ответ на это Волков лишь злобно скалиться, словно раненый зверь, загнанный в угол.

AU где Олег погиб в Сирии, а его дух оказался привязан к волчьему кулону, который он перед отъездом оставил Серёже на память. Птица может видеть призраков, потому что он сам мистическая сущность. Он скрывает от Разумовского факт смерти Волкова и начинает искать способ избавиться от последнего, чтобы тот не сумел испортить его планы. Однако всё рушится после того, как Серёжа находит документы о смерти друга и пытается покончить с собой. Птица спасает его, и в последний момент Серёжа успевает увидеть Олега. Но уже поздно, и Птица нашёл, как избавиться от бывшего наёмника…

Call out to my *unhealthy and worse than my actual problems* coping mechanism! It's mental breakdown time again

I am not of flesh and blood,

i am of ink and forgotten gold.

I am the soulless wich the caos calls home,

i am the mascares fury of ancients destroyed worlds.

Not the nightmare of your future,

but the torment from your past.

I am not your's or my own desilusion,

i am the shadow of the nightmare you can't forget.

I am the child of the night, the twilight and the day at the same,

i am everything but mineself, what can i say

So I was walking to the car, carrying my dad’s banjo, and I was thinking about how the word banjo sounds like the noise a banjo makes. 

Then my brain just went and thought,

“A banjo by any other name would sound just as twangy.”

I thought I’d share that with you

happy new year ⁉️⁉️ yooseven bc i said so

they’re so stupid im going to put them in a blender

im always like hehe im so smart i will avoid shame by never doing anything ever but then i feel ashamed of not living and it turns out i didn't escape any sort of discomfort i just traded it in for a less rewarding kind

hard pill to swallow: there are some things that are not meant for you. you will meet people that are not willing to stay. there will be times that you will fail. but don’t be discouraged because alongside, you are meant to be something, you will meet people that will stay, and most importantly, you will get better.

Boo!

Runs back into the shadows

Took the test and it turns out I was a Sheldon character all along. Always thought I was the Thai food😔

Thanks for the tag @thelastplantagenet 😊💚

1. Do this uquiz.

2. Do this picrew.

3. Tag people.

feel free to play if you’d like :)

@buncha-angry-kids-with-no-money @thatoneandlonelyemo2005 @with-the-words-all-wrong

excellent point!

i think it was such an important statement that vi was so consistently one of the only people who decidedly held onto jinx’s humanity. even if jinx wouldn’t, vi refused to give up on her. and, i think some people forget that part a little too easily.

and this moment in specific, you’re so right, because that belief had been slipping. (and i find it insulting that people don’t remember HOW FAR jinx had to go for vi to try and stop her)

and you worded it so well, because i was also held up on how much the painting doesn’t actually look like jinx. a part of me thought it looked more like powder.

vi came out of stillwater with only powder still alive in her head. then, it was cait and piltover’s villainous version. and then, she had this moment to consider that maybe both versions of her sister were still there. was jinx a good person? no, she’s an answer to the impossible equation of war and trauma. was she a monster? never in violet’s eyes.

she has always been the smart girl striving to prove herself.

something so raw about siblings, is that you love them even if they’ve made awful mistakes. you still want to protect them, because they’re a part of you. but, how do you protect that urge when people are dead?

i LOVE their sisterly relationship. no matter how dirty and warped it is. i love that, no matter what, they truly had each other’s backs when it mattered. even if one was out of the loop, the other was still looking out for her.

why can’t i just have them in one universe where they’re both happy and pranking each other??? 😭 why must they be so doomed!!

i saw a post with this scene the other day. ⬆️

a lot of people had commented this and that about their depictions of vi being jealous and shocked that jinx was up there with vander instead of herself.

and (as a troubled eldest daughter myself) that broke my heart a bit. although, i think it is realistic for vi to have shown a moment of vulnerability with the audience and then be ripped to pieces by individuals declaring it resentment and selfishness. no shade.

personally, i latched onto that tiny moment where her face falls. the animation of such a flicker of something akin to disappointment is astonishing.

i do think she’s seeing the mural for what it’s lacking. because it is lacking her. but, i think it has more to do with the fact that jinx and vander are there, but she’s not with them. not even necessarily including the political context. just the fact that even a random painting on a random wall lacked her presence just as much as real life.

she should have been right next to her little sister, but she wasn’t. she had both lost that choice, and then made the wrong one.

i can’t help but wonder if the years of being an imprisoned child so incredibly scared that she’d never get another chance for see her sister flashed before her eyes.

i think that mural shackled her to the fact that her world had continued on without her. and she wasn’t needed around to make it function anymore.

vander and their parents’ deaths had instilled in her that her sole purpose was to keep the earth spinning and to keep jinx safe. but, in the end, jinx had adapted. vi hadn’t.

lol

sorry for ranting! i could be entirely wrong, don’t take this to heart. it’s just what i took in and reflected on, and i wanted to share my thoughts. i find it so strangely comforting to see an oldest daughter go through so many punches and such heavy emotional strain and still keep her head up.

she’s so imperfect and i love her.

Epiphany Angelbane // Aka My Favorite Sim I’ve Ever Made

Epiphany is my character for an upcoming D&D campaign. She’s a chaotic good Tiefling bard and a steampunk flapper (I had a lot of fun coming up with what a steampunk flapper would wear).

CC Used // Dress // Hair // Boots // Monocle // Gloves // Necklace // Horns // Tail // Lashes // Eyebrows // Teeth // Skin Detail // Eyeshadow // Lipstick // Blush 

All Poses By Katverse / Lot - Steampunk Theme Park by luckyheather