Where Every Scroll is a New Adventure
Bsd Memes - Blog Posts
Rando or subcorndiante: How'd you get so attractive so ... so perfect??
Chuuya: I mean.. give yourself a fucked up back story, good skin care routine, an amazing mentor, and 10 whore friends, it'll give ya that,, but those are the things contributing to the attractiveness factor... I don't know all about this 'perfect' schick.
Chuuya: The great thing about being a murderer is beating up the people that harass you
Dazai: It's only cause you're that pretty...
Chuuya: What'd you say? 🤨
Dazai: Because you're that shitty
Dazai just annoying the shit out of Chuuya:
Chuuya: *looks up* Whatever deity that is up there, please give me patience,
*looks down* And Arahabaki give me strength to punt this guy through the wall if that patience runs out.
This last month was kinda productive! <3
And I still have a lot of things to finish and post! Wait until’ and follow me for more!<3
Dazai: I think this outfit makes me look older :D
Kyouka: But you're already old.
Dazai: EXCUSE ME, WHAT?
Dazai, walking up to look at a dead body: Okay, first of all, big mood.
Dazai: Hi, I’m bi. I’m attracted to women because they are incredible and I’m attracted to men because I love making bad choices.
Fukuzawa: And, as always, here's your weekly reminder that therapy and other psychiatric services are covered by the ada healthcare plan.
Dazai:
Dazai, whispering to Kunikida: Why does he always look at me when he says that?
Dazai: Kunikida and I get along perfectly. Don't we, Kunikida?
Kunikida: I have never been so stressed in my entire life.
*singer!Chuuya au*
Interviewer: Do you ever hear from your exs after you release a song about them?
Chuuya: Well some of them like to write really long emails.
Interviewer: Oh really?
Chuuya: Hm. The guys when I break up with them are like, "You better not write a song about this!"
Chuuya: and I'm like, "No, I wont."
Interviewer:
Chuuya: and then I do.
Interviewer:
Interviewer: Have your ever written a song it was so mean you couldn't release it?
Chuuya: No, I just put those on my albums.
Dazai: When I was 15 I googled "two men kissing" on Mori's computer and when he asked me why that was in his search bar, I said "Idk, you tell me"
Dazai: and it worked.
Kunikida: Ranpo have you seen Dazai?
Ranpo, clearly lying: Um, no. That idiot's probably off working his dumb plan.
Ranpo, who also helps Dazai with his plan: He's so stupid.
Kunikida:
Ranpo: You know, the only reason the president hasn't fired him is that we're worried that he'll kill himself.
Ranpo: *leaves*
Kunikida, internally: Yep. They're up to something together.
Yosano: Hey, Dazai, who's your favorite singer or band?
Dazai: I don't really have one.
Yosano: Oh c'mon pretty boy, everyone has one.
Kunikida: It's propably arctic monkeys.
Dazai: Fine. If you really wanna know that bad...it's taylor swift.
Yosano: Who? Gotta speak up.
Dazai: Taylor Swift.
Ranpo: HAH, I KNEW IT! YOU ALL OWE ME FIVE BUCKS.
Dazai: I hope I get run over.
Atsushi: Aww, come on, it's Christmas! Get in the spirit!
Dazai, sighs: Fine, I hope I get run over by a reindeer.
Chuuya: What do you want for christmas?
Dazai: You in a maid outfit.
Chuuya: 🖕
Dazai: How old were you guys when you found out Santa wasn't real?
Atsushi, whispering to Kunikida: How old am I?
Kunikida: You’re 18, Atsushi.
Atsushi, sadly: I was 18.
Atsushi: What was Chuuya like when he was a little?
Dazai: Oh I think you mean young. He's always been little.
Dazai: I don't get paid enough to deal with Mori. He describes me as "also gay for girls."
Chuuya: Yuck.
Dazai: *has music loud while dancing in the middle of the office*
Kunikida, turning down the volume: Get back to work, now Dazai!
Dazai: How dare you, Iago, Backstabber?
Kunikida: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Dazai: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
Ranpo: So, I'm going to grab a healthy breakfast.
Fukuzawa: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
Ranpo: Breakfast burrito but yeah...
Fukuzawa: I pity your dentist.
Ranpo: Joke's on you I don't have a dentist.
Fukuzawa:
Fukuzawa: I'm taking you to the dentist.
Chuuya: We all have our demons.
Chuuya: *grabs Dazai*
Chuuya: This is mine.
Dazai: Why do you seem to be so nervous around me lately?
Chuuya: I- it's just... I don't know. I guess I don't wanna say something wrong?
Dazai: Babe, I have a praise and a degradation kink. So whatever you say, it will somehow work for me.
Dazai: Chuuya and I don't use pet names.
Odasaku: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Dazai: Honey.
*silence*
Dazai: Ha, you thought, bitch.
Chuuya, yelling from another room: What do you want, whore?
Mori: So are any of you NOT in love with Dazai?
Kunikida:
Ranpo:
Fyodor:
Sigma:
Odasaku, rising from the dead:
Chuuya: *raises hand*
Mori: PUT YOUR FUCKIN HAND DOWN CHUUYA!
Dazai, stumbling in through the window of Chuuya's room with a broken red rose in his mouth:
Chuuya, startled: What the fuck are you doing?
Dazai, falling on the floor: I’m trying to be romantic, shut up.
*the agency reorganizes and cleans the office cause it is a total mess*
Kunikida: We need a more efficient method. What about the Norwegian system Munkensmat?
The ada: ???
Kunikida: In Munkensmat, you get rid of all personal possessions except one.
Dazai: Ok I'll go first. It's between my antidepressants and this fidget spinner.
Dazai: *throws in the can his meds*
Dazai: I think I made the right call.
Fyodor: I don't know how to tell you this but you're in love with me.
Nikolai:
Nikolai: What?
Nikolai: OMG, I am.
Sigma: ???
Dazai: What kind of a confession did I witness?
Chuuya: Hey...uh...mackerel...I have something to tell you.
Dazai: Hmm? Yes?
Chuuya: I like guys.
Dazai: *gasps* I knew it!!!
Dazai: So who's the lucky man?
Chuuya: He works in the ada, he used to be in the port mafia, an ability user, funny, good with coming up with plans...and well he can be a big fucking idiot sometimes.
Dazai: Oh- he sounds kinda lame...
Chuuya:
Chuuya: Did I mention idiot?
Chuuya: I hate you!
Dazai's head: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words...