Be More Chill Book - Blog Posts

My biggest flex right now

Some highlights from the Be More Chill book brought to you by me

Ps: Y’all these are just the parts I marked as I was reading, my personal favorites. Don’t evaluate the book just by looking at these. And I didn’t include any big spoilers so don’t worry!

Page 35,

Jeremy: You think we should go?

Michael: Are you asking me out?

Page 54, (it pains me how little boyfs moments are in the book)

Michael’s there, in the school parking lot. He managed to borrow the car from his parents and have it waiting for me the day I asked for it. I hug him.

Page 80,

I’m masturbating still, watching a video, but it’s not like I’m masturbating to Michael. I’m multitasking masturbating.

Page 109,

The gayer it feels, the better your posture. -The Squip, 2004.

Page 110,

Jeremy: Well, that card is only for emergencies.

Squip: You are an emergency, Jeremy.

Page 111,

Jeremy: I kind of hate Keanu Reeves’s voice. Can you switch to, ah, Brad Pitt?

Squip: We couldn’t get his rights. You sure you don’t like Keanu?

Jeremy: Uh...

Squip: C’mon, just listen. Isn’t it soothing?

Page 135, (we love supportive Squip)

After twenty reps, with the Squip encouraging me and telling jokes, I’m so tired that I roll into bed without thinking about jerking off.

Page 138, (book Squip is superior)

Ms. Heere: Freedom of expression doesn’t exist for minors, Jeremy, which is what you are.

Squip: Tell her to go f _ _ _ herself.

Page 161,

I jump in the field and kick my heels together.

Squip: Let’s never, ever see that again, okay?

Page 170,

“Heere?”

“Yo.”

It was so simple... I don’t know how I didn’t think of it before.

Squip: It’s not your nature.

Page 174, (First of all Jeremy, rude. But at least he’s standing up for Michael, that’s something, right?)

Squip: Don’t bring him.

Jeremy: Nope, I’m bringing him. I want him along on this one. I’ve wanted him along the whole time, but now I finally have the clout to bring him.

Page 179, (I just LOVE their friendship)

Jeremy: I don’t think we have anything to worry about.

Squip: That’s because I calculated it for you, stupid.

I know. Thanks.

Page 208,

Christine: What’s yersquip?

Jeremy: That’s... my... imaginary... friend,

Rich: Huh, yeah. It’s what he calls his p-penis.

Jeremy: Would you shut up?

Christine: You have a name for your penis? Boys really do that?

Squip: Yeah. Rich’s is named Li’l’ Cheese Head.

Jeremy: Yeah. Rich’s is named Li’l’ Cheese Head.

Page 233,

Jeremy: And the house was on fire?

Squip: Well. Not all of it.

Jeremy: What the f _ _ _ ? What am I supposed to say to that?

Squip: Probably “No, no, this can’t be happening?”

Jeremy: This can’t be happening!

Page 235, (I love how Squip keeps roasting Jeremy’s parents)

Squip: You have bad parents, you know that?

Jeremy: Why?

Squip: They should have prepared you for situations like this. I’m not programmed to counsel human shock and sorrow.

Page 280, (Michael being sarcastic is what I stan)

Jeremy: It keeps log of all my thinkings.

Michael: Thinkings?

Jeremy, hitting him: Whatever.

New Jersey

For all of you being sad that The Be More chill 10 year concert is in New Jersey. I live in New Jersey and stop making fun of it. I’ll send All Pictures I’m able to take. Also Stop Because I need This so Badly with all the Shitty News about the Us and New Jersey having so many elections. So Here’s Some New Jersey and Be More Chill Facts.

.The Book When it can Uses Actual Locations In the Borough of Meutuchen in Middlesex County except for Middleborough, which is a Pun on Middlesex County and Meutuchen Borough.

.The Book City is Meutuchen Borough and Musical City Is Red Bank(Home Of the Two River Theatre so it’s very meta.)

.I have more but instead I’d like to say:If you Make Fun of New Jersey one more time I’m Making every recipe in the anarchists cookbook and using the results on you.