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9-3-10 - Blog Posts

7 years ago

more on unconsciousness;

I am so fucking pissed.

How could he?  How could anyone be okay with that?

I hate you.  Everything about you screams scumbag.  I wonder how many girls you’ve drugged. And every one at Heritage thinks you’re just the sweetest little male cheerleader with your poor cracked skull.  Oh, give me a break.  You probably only cracked your skull because you stole my medicine.  You are a pathetic excuse of a gentleman.  How could any girl in their right mind even use your name and that word in the same sentence.  I will figure out someway to make you regret this.  I remember the day I asked you what you did that night because I was hurting so much when I woke up next to you.  You replied, “Oh, don’t worry about it sweetheart, you’ll be fine.”

I’ve gone from rage, to hysteric tears.  I HATE YOU.


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7 years ago

death, dying, and unconscious sex;

I leaned over the boiling oil at work yesterday and suddenly I wanted to be submerged in it.

Sometimes people ask me why I get so unhappy.  I don’t know.  I just know that I do.  Even on some the days I take my medicine correctly.  Of course it’s not as bad as it normally would be, without the medicine but I still find myself wanting eternal sleep.  It’s a shame relieving yourself of this seemingly unpleasant life is a sin.  I would rather not go to hell.  So, for now, I’ll stay here.  It seems praying for death all these years hasn’t worked.  I don’t know why I still try.  The last time was less than a month ago.  Bravo fuck-up!

As a younger girl I used to think about how it seemed to me that a guy couldnt possibly have sex with an unconscious girl and live with himself.  Today I have been informed that they are just fine with it.  That bastard.  He told me he would never do that to me.  I swear it didn’t happen.  I would remember that.  Is he lying?  Or did I some how convince myself so well that night that it didn’t happen before sobering up that I have no memory of it?  It didn’t happen.  It couldn’t have. If so, that makes twice now.  Sixteen, and eighteen, who would’ve thought that would happen to me?  I am too strong for this shit.

BASTARD.

Please, what’s said on tumblr is never meant to be repeated.


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