ENTP: You Know I Am Getting Bored, Wanna Rob Banks Or Something?

Richard: hehe....do you think Charles and Camilla are fucking eachother?

Francis: yes

Richard: *spits drink out* I was just kidding

Francis: we are all fucking eachother, when will you realise that?

(ps: I was clutching my imaginary pearls when that revelation happened)

"Human nature is hard to understand. Humans themselves don't understand their true natures. It's the people who do, are the one's to fear. I know I have a dark side, I indulge in it beacuse it's who I am. Tell me, why do you have to be good in a world with such bad people?

Everyone underestimates me as some pushover who does whatever anyone tells her to do. They talk freely around me, because I am not a threat. They laugh at my awkwardness. They think they have power over me.

I have calculated my interactions to an extent that I have no enemies and been so cautious about whom I talk with, I have no friends. But that doesn't matter, I know what I want, I get what I want, life while cruel has always worked out for me in the end. I have fears, yes, but I also know that I have the potential to do immense good or bad. It's your choice, if you are not in my way, you will be alright. If you challenge me, it won't end good for you."

~Emma Wright, A Girl In The Crowd (my debut novel, hasn't been published yet)

Started the new year on the wrong foot by watching DIABOLIK LOVERS;

Is it wrong to call it my guilty pleasure, mostly the anime; the game is 😱😨😨😨😳🫢🫢

So naturally here's a rating of the boys; DISCLAIMER---- I KNOW they are terrible and would never be hot irl but this is fiction and we love mentally ill mfs in this house. I do not condone violence and assault. And I don't think this is a good representation of bdsm community. It is a work of fiction that should be taken as such.

1. Shu Sakamaki: babygirl

10/10

When I first saw him, he was already my fav. Lowkey the best choice despite his actions, he's the least likely to harm you, cuz he will just ignore you. And man is PRETTY. He looks like a prince okay? If he calls me a perv and a slut, I will just accept it cuz I am FOR HIM. (I am just gone, bye bye my long lost sanity). He was okay in HDB, but in Dark Fate, with the cat, I am sorry, I can't take it 💓💓💓💓. Shu takes first place mostly cuz this is an Otome game and I find him the most attractive, but this also might be cuz he is more laid back and older, which makes me feel more interested in him. His backstory makes sense of why he is so distant, if my brother killed my best friend and HIS ENTIRE VILLAGE I would stop giving a fuck too. Also while we are at it, Fuck Reji, Shu did nothing wrong 😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬. If he is a red flag, I am colorblind.

2. Subaru Sakamaki: baby tsundere

9/10

I have a history with loving tsunderes the most, so naturally his whole "....I lik---fuck off" made me giggling and kicking my feet. But not for long, his violent behaviour actually fucking scared me (all of their behaviour ofc) but the fact he is a walking rage ball doesn't help his case. BUT he is definitely the least perverted out of all of them (Shu isn't, he is on level with Laito when it comes to it). He blushes from the start of the game, he warns you multiple times not to get close and leave. And when he says "I love you" I believe it okay. Cuz I think he does truly love Yui. He doesn't make fun of her looks, he likes hugging her and while violent at the start, by Dark Fate, he is just a big old softie. I don't think any of the Sakamaki's love Yui as much as he does. I just want to give him a hug okay? I feel so bad for him at times. Fucking Karlheinz, fuck him. When he kissed Yui while she was sleeping ahhhh, he also apologize to her, asked for consent, as well as felt embarrassed when he saw her in a bath. Him and Yui also bicker like an old married couple and she doesn't hold back when it comes to him. I dock points at his wall breaking 😭😭😭 and the fact he feels a bit too young for me now (I don't like younger guys sorry).

3. Ayato Sakamaki: dumb jock energy

7/10

I didn't like him at first, his whole "yours truly" drove me insane but he kinda grew on me. Mostly cuz of the fanarts and stuff. I didn't think I'd give him this much credit but I had to. He's the main guy after all. With marrying Yui in all good endings and just generally being the one who wants to claim her the most (all of them do but I think ayato especially hates seeing her with anyone). He gives off massive jock energy, and his "pancake" made me mad at first but that became funny (I should not be laughing at the scene where Yui was reading his magazines but I did 😭😭😭). Now he is SUPER aggressive with Yui, my girl never deserved any of this, at times he really gets on my nerves cuz he is so contradictory. Like if you want her just say it, throwing her in the pool and then rescuing her??? Bitch, you are stupid. But his whole stupid behaviour feels charming to me, I love dumb guys they are funny as hell unintentionally. Cordelia can rot in hell, that's all. To me, the best looking and the best choice out of the triplets. I understand why him and Yui are the best Dialovers ship cuz I get the memo.

4. Laito Sakamaki: hear me out---call cops

4/10

Dumbass fedora wearing little----

I thought he would be lower in the list when I first saw him. But...he's kinda funny to me. Idc but his whole "bitch-chan" made me laugh so much. Maybe I was just looking for the bare minimum to like any of these guys, cuz I think Laito doesn't suck as much as I expected. Would I run from him? Yeah. Everything he does is overtly perverted and sexual. But there is a reason behind all this. Cordelia really DID HIM BAD. She fucking groomed him, I understand why he went all crazy in the head. HIS MOTHER...IM SORRY I CAN'T TAKE IT. While I don't like his route and in terms of the romance aspect I don't want him. But he gives SO many funny moments and is just such a goldmine in memes that I can't help but like him. Also being a thigh guy, huge respect. I definitely don't hate him, unexpectedly, he can become one of my "hear me out---". If he didn't fucking assualt Yui so many times, I might have put him above Ayato.

5. Kanato Sakamaki: Demon child

2/10

He looks mentally ill. He actually looks like a malnourished victorian boy. He looks possessed. And I DON'T LIKE HIM.

My feelings towards Kanato are so complicated. Like I do find him funny at times but he usually makes me roll my eyes. In terms of the romance aspect, just no, no, NO. Even my 14 year old self wouldn't like him, he looks like a CHILD. There's nothing attractive in him, the other boys have something, Kanato is just a demon child. And his teddy, I want to burn that teddy just cuz it makes Kanato even more annoying when he's talking to it. Did you not take your pills Kanato? Why are you the way you are. Ofc it's all his deadbeat dad and especially his bitch of a mother's fault. She had affairs in front of this little boy, no wonder he is so ill. He's definitely the most unhinged of the brothers, even they find him scary at times. He would just kill you for funsies. He would. I don't hate him but I don't like him either.

6. Reiji Sakamaki: Bleh Bleh Bleh

1/10

I am sorry I can't take this man seriously. Everything he says and does makes me go "ughhhhhhh" so bad. When he got mad at Shu for leaving their weekly dinners, aura point loss, loser behaviour. The only reason I gave him 1 point is cuz he's hot...sometimes. I generally love glasses guys but no Reiji just gets on nerves each time he opens his fucking mouth and says smtg on the lines of "um....akschully 🤓"

Fuck you. Fuck Reiji. His entire backstory is just being jealous of Shu. And then he spends his entire life trying to get on Shu's nerves and the fact Shu doesn't give a fuck drives Reiji even more. When he killed his mother and wanted to revive her just to kill her in a satisfying manner...bro... 😭. His relationship with Yui sucks, his little tea parties suck, he just sucks. I know Reiji has his fans, but I am a hater. With Kanato I don't like him romantically but with Reiji I don't like him at all. And when he spanks Yui and is like "don't drink her blood assholes" and then does the SAME thing. He actually made me mad. I was ready for whatever came my way when I got into this but Reiji is so annoying that I would take fucking Latio over him. All of this rage just cuz his mom didn't listen to his poem or whatever. I am sorry you are parentless Reiji, I just cannot care less about you 🍵.

And....

I love you Yui. Such an adorable girl. I feel so bad for her the entire time. She deserves so much.

Top 3 ships ranking:

1. Ayato x Yui

2. Subaru x Yui

3. Shu x Yui

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

"if they are enemies, let them stay enemies. They are enemies in the canon 😡"

Me: No they are lovers, hope that helps ❤️❤️

Just the idea of Atsushi going out of his way to decorate his house for the new years using all the money he has to make Kyouka happy comes into my head----

I do think ever since Kyouka moved in with Atsushi he has changed his lifestyle. He bought new furniture, he makes good food at home and keeps the house warm. Cuz Atsushi is never letting his little sister have anything less than what she deserves.

Kunikida: Atsushi came to get his salary in advance again. Do you want me to check on him?

Fukuzawa: no, don't. It's fine

Kunikida: I hope he's not wasting his money like Dazai does....

Fukuzawa: he doesn't. I know it.

*meanwhile*

Kyouka: you didn't have to buy the bunny plushie, I didn't need it!

Atsushi: of course I had to. It's your Christmas gift.

Kyouka: I don't need gifts. I already have everything

Atsushi: no you don't. I want you to have all the things a little girl should have

Kyouka: I already have you, I didn't need anything else.

Atsushi: *starts crying*

Kyouka: *pat pat* I made some cake big bro, let's eat.

I don't get how some people can eat whatever they want and not feel guilty about it......

I love that the gang never truly felt bad for killing Bunny, in the sense of grief (ngl I would have killed him too). Even in his funeral instead of feeling guilty for his death they are fanning flies, drinking, doing drugs and popping random pills they found in someone's drawer. They were chaotic af.

The thinkers gang be like:

ENTP: I was thinking we can make our own club since nobody likes us!

INTJ: they don't like us for a reason

INTP: we make them feel bad and say inappropriate things in wrong situations.

ENTJ: well their feelings aren't our problem, we just try to be realistic and logical when they are not

INTJ: I couldn't care less about it

ENTP: INTP and I have extroverted feeling so yes we DO care about them

INTP: its my greatest flaw

ENTJ: I do like to hang out with people, they just get offended so easily! Jeez they are sensitive

ENTP: Hear! Hear!

INTJ: I would be a flat earther before I make friends with dumb people.

INTP: I so agree with you, like yesterday ENFP comes me to and says my argument is wrong beacuse it breaks their heart! Do you know what else they said?

ENTP: what?

INTP: "we all have our own truths and facts are.....subjective"

ENTP,ENTJ,INTJ: Nooooo

INTP: Ikr

ENTP: We don't deserve this! Maybe we are insensitive, annoying, condescending assholes, that doesn't make us any worse than they are! Cheers my friends!

INTJ: we are friends?

INTP: aren't we siblings?

ENTJ: hey! I am not the asshole, you all are.

ENTP: they are so right about us

And not to forget Richard is looking back at his college years and the events were not happening at the same time. So it is possible the way he tells the story is to hide a lot of details, or maybe he just forgot all the details. The romanticized way he puts most things always felt to me like a bandage on a wound as if he was covering the darker parts of the story. Almost all the characters are gay to an extent, as if Donna was trying to just confuse us which I think fits for what the story is about. Personally I don't eaxctly ship any of them lol. Francis's sexuality was always considered by everyone as gay but it's not ever confirmed that he can bi or pan or something else.

I put the book down and put my hands on my mouth when we got the incest reveal, it made me....sick. It wasn't that shocking since Richard literally thought they were a couple before he was told they were twins. It was Charles's dark side reveal that shocked me and disgusted me more (thank god, Henry took her away from Charles at the right time). I also think the reason Charles was obsessed with Camilla might be because of the greek thing, maybe he took Julian's greek ideals to heart. I also think Henry and Camilla as a couple isn't really romantic (it could be seen as one) but it seemed quite mild incomparison to what others were up to.

This book is so messy. It keeps me up at night. The problem is I don't know anyone who has read it near me, so these hcs keep me alive.

So, for my sanity. Let me get this straight (lol); Henry was in love with Camilla and she was in love with him. And Richard was also in love with Camilla but she friendzoned him. Francis and Camilla had kissed (twice) and Charles was furious. Francis was flirting with Richard the entire time ( "cubitum eamus") Richard fantasized about spending his old years with Francis (and they kissed ofc). Richard also described Henry in a very no homo way. Francis and Charles were secretly hooking up. And so were Charles and Camilla (also, Charles was an abuser, why don't people talk about that more?). Richard described Camilla to look very masculine and like Charles to a tee, so he also liked Charles (?). Bunny was a huge homophobe, kinda sus; also had a strange interest in Henry. And Henry was probably in love with Julian (that little weird kiss mentioned ounce). I am a missing something?

Donna. Donna. Donna, what tf is this book is about?

"I love you" ❌❌❌

It's boring, overused and predictable

"Just the two of us?"

"Do we need more?"

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅