Richard: Hehe....do You Think Charles And Camilla Are Fucking Eachother?

Every valentine's day Chuuya gets desperate, passionate love letters from someone whom he doesn't know. It's full of poetic lines and cryptic messages about how they are fated to be together and are soulmates. He wonders who this secret admirer is and decides to write back to them and ask them out on a date.

He goes to the restaurant they decide to meet at and takes a U-turn back to the receptionist and cancels his reservation when he sees Dazai sitting there waiting for him. Because Chuuya.exe has stopped working.

Why do you think Fyodor chose Chuuya specifically as his accomplice?

Maybe all that time in prison he heard Dazai constantly hyping Chuuya up and gushing about him. He heard about their shenanigans and the amount of trust they had in eachother. Maybe Dazai was just complaining and pouring his heart out about their complicated relationship.

And Fyodor thought it would be funny as hell and so much drama if Dazai gets killed by his own partner.

Dazai: And he didn't even kiss me after I went out of the way to recreate snow white!

Fyodor *fake gasp*: no shit, that's toxic!

Dazai: I know right, we never work it out :(

Fyodor: hey, maybe I could get you guys to meet and talk it all out....

Dazai: you would???

Fyodor, *evil smile* : of course, what else are enemies for?

Dazai: thanks bro, you're the best!

Dazai, in his head: Just as planned, he fell right into the trap or I say.....rat hole......ah that was a bad one

Dazai, in his head: I better call Mori and ask him to get Chibi a hot new outfit, he needs to look good for my confessions.....and the best part is he can't even deny or reject me when he is acting as a vampire...hehe. I should go practice my speeches.

Favourite Jane Austen novels (a.k.a all books)

1. Emma

2. Pride and Prejudice

3. Northanger Abbey

4. Persuasion

5. Mansfield Park

6. Sense and Sensibility

7. Lady Susan

Gryffindor: So, guys what's our plan?

Slytherin: having a plan is lame, let's improvise.

Hufflepuff: it's Ravenclaw's birthday so let them decide....

Gryffindor: I was thinking Raven can do with some more friends, I will invite all my 300 friends to the party.

Slytherin: I was thinking about a masquerade. Something dramatic like Ravenclaw.

Hufflepuff: but guys they hate party or crowded event and noise...

Gryffindor: you know what I am thinking about...

Slyhterin: Fireworks!!!!

Gryffindor: it will be our best party yet!

Ravenclaw to Hufflepuff (via text): this is why I avoid people.

Atsushi: that doesn't explain why you were smiling while he was choking you!

Dazai: I wasn't smiling, I was gasping.....wait for you follow me around or something?

Atsushi: oh no, me and Akutagawa were buying our groceries

Dazai: YOU AND AKUTAGAWA? WHY WERE YOU TWO TOGETHER?

Atsushi: we have decided to be friends!

Ranpo, rolling his eyes: Gay.

Atsushi, confused after a mission: what exactly is the relationship between Dazai-san and Chuuya-san?

Fukuzawa: they are enemies

Kunikida: more like ex-coworkers

Yosano: definitely, enemies with benefits

Kyouka: best friends!

Kenji: they help each other out in times of great trouble like good neighbors :)

Junichiro: Aren't they rivals?

Naomi: I thought they were Ex-boyfriends!

Haruno: I heard they got divorced

Atsushi, even more confused: they were married????

*Everyone looks at Ranpo*

Ranpo, takes his Lollipop out: Gay.

Bunny: so what do we have for lunch....

Henry:.....wine

Bunny: I meant something we can eat.

Charles: which drug do you like? I don't have much on me but we can buy some.

Bunny: that's not what a human should have for lunch

Franics: I do the coffee, cigarettes and Maraschino Cherries diet, you wanna try?

Bunny: what the....

Camilla: we could have had some lamb chops but we don't have it anymore.

Bunny: why?

Camilla: we had to sacrifice the lamb during a ritual and bathe in its blood

Bunny: you know what I would rather be dead by eating grilled cheese sandwich and milkshake than hang out with you weirdos anymore

Do you read books on murder and people getting away with it? Do you often wish upon deaths of the rotten people in the world? Do you find the notion of living in isolation with coffee and a book intriguing? Do you fall in love with morally grey anti heros? Do people call you unusual and insane? Do you wake up everyday wishing you didn't? Do you consider yourself to be better than others at the same time feeling inferior in a world that doesn't accept you?

If not then you are actully a fully functioning human being who does not rely their life's worth on hopeless soul searching and "you can't sit with us" *Gretchen Wiener voice*

Donna Tart: *writes a book about how bad romanticism and obsession is*

Me: *romanticises and obsesses over that book*

As a casual Gravity Falls fan, who hasn't seen more than the og series, some comics and fanart, and who knows nothing about The Book Of Bill; my feed is filled with Billford fanart and stuff------I have no idea what's happening in that fandom, but I am really concerned for you guys, are you okay?

There's a Olivia Rodrigo song for every emotion. (I LOVE ALL OF THEM)

Brutal: I hate this world so much

Traitor: I got cheated on/my friend found a new friend

Driver's license: I miss my ex/ex-friend

1 step forward, 3 steps back: toxic relationships and issues you can't leave

Deja vu: I can't believe he/she/they replaced me!

Good 4 u: oh so you have moved on from me...sure...ahahhah...I am not mad...hahhahah...(ur dead)

Enough for you: I changed everything about myself because ur shit

Happier: maybe you can be less happy, there are some sensitive people around!

Jealousy Jealousy: self explanatory (also "everyone thinks he’s so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick" ~Draco Malfoy)

Favourite Crime: I know u are a felon and a criminal but you have a sweet side and a tender heart only I can change!

Hope ur ok: (cries) address the letters to the holes of my butterfly wings (cries some more)