I'm trying to feel all the emotion
That I once used to have
But now, I barely feel any of it
Now I barely even laugh
It wasn't really my fault
It was all the masks doing
I wore it blankly every day
Until I decided I was fine
When I wanted to take it off
I was already way too late
It never moved at all after that
It was then that i realized I was too quick to take the unintentional bait
It's not really my fault
I just wanted to hide away
But now that they've replaced me
I'm ok with never having another happy day
After this, my mask sometimes falters
And I show some emotion now
But all the rest of the expressions that never come out
Comes out in tears, and all in a commotion
can we be friends
I love friends
I kind of want to text you but I don't want to bother you.
I miss you though:)
There's a song called drop dead gorgeous by VOILĂ€ and it reminds me of my friend
One of my friends asked me why I don't just try to heal myself
And I never came up with an answer
But I already had an answer, I just didn't want to sound stupid
I don't do it because I know I'm not done hurting
So I'm not going to fix myself if I'm not done breaking
The only way I can be fixed is if I'm finished breaking until I get broken down again
The only thing is, I don't think I'm going to stop breaking
And if I do it won't be soon
The other thing, if I'm going to break again then why should I rebuild myself?
Why should I take anywhere from days to years to rebuild myself when it only takes a few seconds to be broken again
And the worst part is when one part of you breaks it's almost guaranteed the rest will too
Rebuilding a person can take 10 years, breaking a person can take 10 seconds
Thats the exact reason why people would rather destroy me then help me
Which is why I thank all of my friends for being good people to me even though I'm always the depressed person in our group.
Pain isn't there for you to ignore it
It's there for a reason
There's nothing wrong with letting it win
If it was there for you to overcome it ALL THE TIME it probably wouldn't be there
Pain is just a limit, and you have to accept it
I've accepted it too much, and now I look like this
Don't let it completely overtake you, but let it do its job
I gave my slinky to my gf and never saw him again
But she just recently gave me a picture of him
I can't believe he's not dead