The-crying-shadow - Crying-Shadow

I love Ookly

I'm trying to feel all the emotion

That I once used to have

But now, I barely feel any of it

Now I barely even laugh

It wasn't really my fault

It was all the masks doing

I wore it blankly every day

Until I decided I was fine

When I wanted to take it off

I was already way too late

It never moved at all after that

It was then that i realized I was too quick to take the unintentional bait

It's not really my fault

I just wanted to hide away

But now that they've replaced me

I'm ok with never having another happy day

After this, my mask sometimes falters

And I show some emotion now

But all the rest of the expressions that never come out

Comes out in tears, and all in a commotion

I was literally thinking the exact same thing

Getting bored and remembered I can actually post stuff

So there's death... obviously. It's kind of sad depending on the circumstances. But after a while, you move on, right? I mean, you're supposed to move on.

Anyone who is stuck on the death of someone or something for over a year is honestly forcing themselves to be stuck on it at that point.

Because it's natural to move on from it. You don't stay stuck on it that long naturally.

But I was thinking about love and why it seems to hurt more when it dies. Half of the time, it leaves a deeper scar.

Love dies too, like everything else does.

So I kind of started kind of wondering

Why does it hurt longer when love dies? Why does it leave more permanent scars? I eventually came up with an answer that actually satisfies me.

Love dies twice, and three times. Then it can die a fourth a time.

Everything else that dies, dies once. However, love can continue to infinitely die forever. It can stop abruptly. You could just never love anyone again, and it won't die for you again. On the other hand, you can continue to love. It can continue going down the wrong path and die repeatedly. Or you can quickly find the right path, but it IS highly unlikely... It's going to continue until you either stop doing it or you find someone perfect.

That last time I'd really had a crush was in I think fourth grade. Until then though, I never really had a crush on, or loved someone. I mean, I've loved people still. But not romantically. I can't say it's impossible for me to feel romantic love because I'm sure I still can. I still feel the emotions everyone else feels. However, I can't help but notice everyone else's constant want or need for love, when I feel fine without it. If anything, I steer away from it...

I don't know why. I just don't follow the concept of love. It's not even that I find it foolish, or stupid, or ridiculous. It's simply the fact that I harbor no feelings towards the idea of love. I don't feel the need for it anymore, I don't feel the need for a relationship anymore.

So to be honest, if I end up being single from my days now in high-school until I die, I might not have a problem with that.

Pain isn't there for you to ignore it

It's there for a reason

There's nothing wrong with letting it win

If it was there for you to overcome it ALL THE TIME it probably wouldn't be there

Pain is just a limit, and you have to accept it

I've accepted it too much, and now I look like this

Don't let it completely overtake you, but let it do its job